Connected as One
by AbsterStories
Summary: Emily and JJ are just starting to get to know each other as a couple when a new case brings back things long buried for JJ. Things that could cause her to loose herself. Will Emily be able to help her through, more importantly will JJ let her? Jemily. See inside for Warnings.
1. Chapter One: Two Months

**AN: Hi all, so I'm fairly new to Criminal Minds, only up to the third season so far but I love the whole JJ Emily friendship so far and can kinda see the two of them together which is where this little fanfiction sprouted in my head from.**

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own Criminal Minds or anything related to the characters of episodes, I am merely borrowing these characters to make a work of fanfiction for other likeminded Jemily lovers out there.

 **Synopsis:** Emily and JJ are just starting to get to know each other as a couple when a new case brings back things long buried for JJ. Things that could cause her to loose herself. Will Emily be able to help her through, more importantly will JJ let her?

 **Pairing:** JJ/Emily. Established already, will be flashbacks to show how this happened and early stages of their starting relationship.

 **JJ:** In this story JJ is 24 same age as Reid in season one, which is when this is set.

 **Emily:** In this story Emily is 29, 5 years older than JJ, she has been with the team for a while now.

 **Warnings:** Femslash from start. Later chapters may become darker with mentions of suicide, as well as child abuse, rape, eating disorders, etc (guys this is criminal minds). Any chapter that has any of these subjects or others in them will having a warning at the beginning of the chapter.

 **AN: Please review to let me know what you make of this first chapter, I will be working my hardest to give at least one update a week to this story and to my other stories.**

 **Criminal Minds – Connected as One.**

 **Chapter One – Two Months.**

" _So."_

" _So…"_

" _You and me, here now. Got to admit I really didn't think this would happen."_

" _Well Garcia really didn't leave much of a choice, did she?"_

" _True. But still, you could have backed out after."_

" _I didn't want to."_

" _Really?"_

" _Really."_

" _Hmmm."_

" _Stop it."_

" _Stop what?"_

" _Trying to profile me."_

" _I'm not!"_

… _._

… _.._

" _Okay fine! Maybe I am? It's just I really didn't think you would say yes to going out with me."_

" _Why wouldn't I?"_

" _Well I honestly couldn't tell if you liked me for starters, or if you even liked my 'type'"_

" _I wouldn't be here if I didn't would I?"_

" _Well as you pointed out Garcia didn't leave much room for any other option. But you could have declined after we left."_

" _Would you have preferred if I did?"_

" _No! God no! I'm glad you here. Just really didn't think it would ever happen."_

" _Well Garcia obviously thought the same thing too."_

" _I thought she was trying to kill me, locking me in a cupboard with you going all postal, till I realised what she was playing at."_

" _I don't do well in small spaces okay!"_

" _Haha, you don't have to tell me twice. By the way nice moves! How did you even manage that in that small a space?"_

" _I'm so sorry about that! You took me by surprize! Is your shoulder okay?"_

" _It'll be fine, my ego not so much. Although it's improving slightly seeing as I scored a hot date with a beautiful blonde."_

" _Oh really? Any one I know?"_

" _I think you know her pretty well. Think you would hit it off with her well….damn! Excuse me….Prentis?...Yeah Hotch….Jayje?...she's with me….yeah I'll let her know….okay see you soon._

" _Let me guess? Wheels up?"_

" _Wheels up."_

A phone ringing in the background brought Emily out of her memory daydream, she looked to her left and saw that Hotch was now walking around his office on the phone currently making arrangements for the jet to be ready for the next case.

Turning her attention back to the origin of her daydream it seemed like only yesterday they went out for dinner on that eventful first date, not that it lasted long with them being pulled in on a case. However for Emily it was the start of something amazing, the best two months of her life so far to be exact.

Watching JJ in her office now Emily couldn't help but smile to herself in amazement at how she got to be so lucky to be able to call the beautiful blonde her girlfriend. She was falling in love fast and for the first time in her life she was not afraid to admit it, because when she looked into JJ's eyes and saw her with her walls and shields down she could see the blonde felt the same way about her as she did for her, they were connected as one.

They both still had so much to learn about each other as friends and partners Emily knew that, she was just glad that JJ was open more now to sharing her past and to trusting her. It took Emily the best part of five weeks to get JJ to tell her why she didn't 'do well' in small spaces as she put it. It turned out she actually had a full grown fear in that she was claustrophobic due to be accidently locked in a small closet for nearly an entire day in a childhood game of hide n seek that had gone wrong.

Looking around the bullpen Emily noticed that the other members of their team were already gone, obviously having gone to get there go bags and leave for the case leaving only herself and JJ still here when they should be getting ready.

Frowning Emily pushed off of the handrail by the steps she had been leaning on and made her way towards the blonde's office.

Getting closer she could see JJ was sat in her chair shoulders drawn in tight, a nervous habit Emily had noticed of her girlfriends, usually something she did when something on her mind was troubling her.

Seeing this Emily made her way into the office and closed the door to, but not completely shut, something she had learned that helps to ease JJ's fears of being boxed in as the blonde had described it to her.

Walking up to JJ Emily murmured a quiet _'hello'_ to warn her she was coming before wrapping her arms around JJ from behind and gently kissing the side of her cheek.

JJ jumped startled slightly before placing her hand on top of one of Emily's that rested at the base of her neckline relaxing into her girlfriends embrace.

" _Sorry Em, got lost in my thoughts for a moment."_ JJ said releasing a long sigh leaning further into Emily.

" _The case?"_ Emily enquired standing back up straight placing her chin atop of JJ's head swaying them both gently side to side.

" _Kinda"_ JJ replied vaguely, before taking Emily's hand in her own and standing.

" _We should go, the jet will be ready soon, we can talk later?"_ She said with a smile, hoping Emily wouldn't press the issue right now.

" _Later, sure."_ Emily said with a nod, her own way of letting JJ know they will talk more later as she had suggested, she returned JJ's smile before murmuring a quiet _'come on'_ enclosing her hand round JJ's and pulling softly to start the both of the walking towards the office and out the door towards a new case. Both girls left quietly with an uneasy feeling in the pits of their stomachs.

Something was different with this case.

 **AN: Please let me know what you think so far, any suggestions on improvements, thoughts, what you like/dislike?**


	2. Chapter Two: Tybee Island

**AN: Thank you everybody that has read the first chapter, it's had lots of traffic which is great to see is getting looked at and I hope enjoyed.**

Thank you as well to those that have followed and favorited my story, hope you all like the next instalment.

Elphiemolizbethbau: Thank you for your review, glad you thought so and I hope you enjoy this chapter too!

Rmpcmfan: Thank you for your review, glad you enjoyed, haha I know I mean but you have to love the whole ominous tone right? Hope you like this next chapter, let me know what you think.

Again thank you to everyone who is reading, please review to let me know what you think I would love to hear from you all!

 **Chapter Two - Tybee Island.**

JJ tensed while looking out the window of the jet. This was a long flight. Even though the jet was spacious it did nothing to ease her anxiety of feeling trapped. Of feeling boxed in with no way out.

On shorter flights she was fine, she could busy herself with making coffee for the team and debriefing with them ready for the case. However they had already debriefed two hours ago and had been ordered by Hotch to get some rest before landing.

Looking around the jet JJ could see that Hotch was going over the file again reading up ready for the case. Morgan was laying down on one of the sofas at the back of the Jet near the toilet door where Emily had disappeared to a few moments before. His hands were behind his head as he listened to music on an Ipod. She could hear Spence and Gideon chatting quietly behind her while playing chess.

Look back at Hotch sitting opposite her on the other side of the jet, JJ couldn't help but think that was what she should be doing too. Re-reading the file, getting ready to be Agent Jennifer Jareau, Media Liaison of the BAU in the FBI. But she couldn't. She knew far too much about this town they were going to already.

Tybee Island, Georgia, south-eastern America. Population 2,990. A small island near Savannah. Known for the Ty-bomb of 1958, an accidently dropped bomb by U.S air force in a botch up training exercise. Known as many in Savannah as a peaceful beach get away. Very little crime. Until now, there had been crime before but not like this case. Not there.

However this place had a few more facts for JJ. It was her mother's favorite holiday destination, or it used to be. It was where JJ was conceived. It was the last place that her whole family was together, their finale family holiday. She knew she should have told Hotch or Gideon or even Emily that this place was personal to her but she couldn't tell anyone. This was the last place her family were truly happy, she didn't want to take that from her memory. Not now, not ever.

She had to think of something to do. Coffee. Coffee was good, took at least 20 minutes to make on the jet, which would be another 20 minutes gone. But looking down at her hyperactively nervously bouncing legs JJ could tell she may have already had one cup too many. One more wouldn't hurt though right? She thought to herself making to getting up.

 _"You're okay Jay, half an hour and we will be landing."_ Emily said as she sat down beside her girlfriend, having just returned from the toilet, placing a hand on her knee stroking up to her thigh gently, careful to not stoke her hand up to high though.

Only two weeks ago had the whole team found out about their relationship and with Hotch and Gideon's help they had managed to convince Strauss that their relationship would not affect their jobs, neither of them wanted to give Strauss or their team any reason to doubt them. They both tried to be as professional as possible in front of their colleagues and friends especially when on a case.

Emily watched as JJ closed her eyes taking a deep breath willing her body to relax, before opening her eyes again and turning slightly to face her.

 _"You're okay."_ She whispered giving JJ's thigh a gentle squeeze before turning her hand palm up smiling softly as the blonde took her hand in her own holding on tightly and nodding.

 _"Half an hour right?"_ JJ asked moving closer to Emily, laying her head gently against the taller girls shoulder trying to draw comfort from her girlfriend to help relax her nervous aching muscles.

 _"Half an hour."_ The brunette confirmed gently, kissing her girlfriends blond head of hair and rubbing small circles on the back of her hand with her thumb.

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6 hours later JJ tiredly run her hands through her hair before picking up her pen again and tapping against the page in her notebook she was using to draft what she was going to say at the press conference tomorrow.

Sighing she looked up through the window, of the small office she was using in the police station on Tybee Island, to see in another small room across from her the team minus Gideon were gathered around a table with Spence drawing on a board with a map on.

She was nervous. Doing this press conference tomorrow would be risky. They didn't have all the information yet. They weren't ready. She wasn't ready.

A knock on the door drew her out of her thoughts. She looked behind her to the door to see Agent Gideon walking in the room, closing the door so it was only open ajar behind him.

 _"You've been quiet today."_ Gideon noted taking a seat opposite the blonde.

 _"I just want to get this right."_ JJ said frowning as she looked down to her notes.

 _"You will. You always do."_ Gideon replied folding his hands on top of one another on the table.

 _"It's good."_ Gideon started, waiting for JJ to look back up from her work. _"That you let Emily help you on the plane."_ He finished.

 _"I'm sorry sir, I know that was unprofessional."_ JJ said her eyes widening. _"Wait…what do you mean help me?"_

 _"Don't panic, you weren't unprofessional at all. We all need to draw comfort from each other now and again, especially when dealing with a phobia."_ Gideon said with a small smile.

 _"How did you know?"_ JJ said looking to the window towards Emily, did Emily tell him after she trusted her with a part of herself she didn't want others to know. She hated people knowing her weakness. Emily knew that.

 _"She didn't break your trust. I've known for a while. I guess I'm just good at my job."_ Gideon replied with a small laugh, watching as the blonde turned back to the look at him and chuckled to herself.

 _"Damn profilers!"_ She said jokingly shaking her head. Causing Gideon to laugh more openly.

 _"I'll leave you to it."_ Gideon said with a smile before standing to leave.

 _"Oh... and Jayje?"_ He said getting the girls attention while leaning against the door frame.

 _"Don't shut yourself off in here all night, we have a busy day tomorrow. It doesn't take a profiler to notice you're not yourself today. Nor to tell that Emily is worried about you."_ Gideon said.

 _"You let her help you on the plane, maybe she could help you with what is troubling your mind?"_ Gideon suggested lightly before leaving the blonde to her preparations.

 _"I wish I could."_ JJ whispered after him.

 **AN: Hope you enjoyed. Please Review! Review make me happy!**


	3. Chapter Three: Memories

**AN:** Wow guys this story is getting lots of follows and favorites, thank you all so much for reading, please please leave me a review I would love to know what your all thinking of the story and would love to see some more reviews on it.

And a great big thank you to all that have left reviews.

 **Rmpcmfan:** Thanks for your review, haha I thought so too, seemed a very Gideony thing to say, we will be going into more detail on what's troubling JJ in this chapter and the ones to follow, let hope she can talk to Emily soon before it gets too bad!

 **Elphiemolizbethbau:** Thanks for your review, glad you enjoyed. There will be more to come on JJ's phobia in coming chapters and more on how she thought she hid it, however unsuccessfully, from her teammates too.

 **Xxhotchnersmilesxx:** Hi there! Thank you for much for your review, I'm glad you are enjoying the story, hope you like this next chapter.

 **WARNING: This chapter will start to deal with details of the case which could be upsetting to some with mentions of death and torture.**

 **Chapter Three: Memories.**

After a sleepless night and lots of worrying and changing how was best to approach the situation the press conference had gone remarkably well, most reporters had few questions and the one reporter that had been pushing for more information than the team was ready to give JJ had handled gracefully and knocked back his need for more information. The team had congratulated her before returning to work on the case which was starting to become more horrific by the second.

Nine bodies had been found tied to chairs around a table in a portable storage unit found in an overgrown area at the back of a small woodland area to the south of the island that was being renovated to be turned into a new housing area. Workers who were tidying up the area made the shocking discovery.

Inside the portable storage unit nine bodies were found tied to chairs, mutilated and in different stages of decay. The mutilation was so bad that the only way to obtain ID's for the bodies was through dental records which the team were still awaiting the results from.

The team had managed to find out that each body was in a progressive worst state of decay, the lesser of the decayed bodies seemed to have died just under a year ago post mortem reports had found. Whereas the worst seemed to be just under 10 years. From this the team had established that these deaths were tied to an anniversary of some significance to the unsub, a date that was coming up soon no doubt. The team were waiting on more conclusive post mortem results before they try to narrow down a specific date.

From the last two bodies that had been less decayed than the others the team had managed to find some noticeable patterns, the bodies were those of girls, all of them were from bone structure. These women from bone structure had to be between the ages of 23 and 35. They had been tortured for some time before death to the extent that facial recognition was not able to be used on the most recent body as this body and all others had been mutilated. They had all been killed in the same way after being tortured. A single shot to the forehead. Execution style. Close range.

That's the bit that got to JJ the most. The close range execution style death. Every time a victim is killed that way it brings back memories from 17 years ago, memories she wanted to forget, memories her sister Rosaline had killed herself to forget. Memories that destroyed what there was of her family. Memories that since starting on this case, on this island that she could not forgot as hard as she tried.

It was because of this that JJ found herself where was right now. Back at the beginning where it all started. The church at Tybee Island. The one place she should fear the most was the one place she could think straight right now. She could remember that day just as clearly in her head now as though it was yesterday, just like in her nightmares.

She should have told someone where she was going, she knew if they knocked on her hotel room door and found that she was not there the team would be worried, as it wasn't like her to not be there. To not be where they needed her or told her to go.

Everything had just got too much for her, being back on this Island brought all those memories back up and she needed to think, she found herself walking. Just walking and thinking. She didn't stop till she got the church.

That's where she was now sat alone in the middle of the night in front of a memorial candle table with 2 candles alight. The two candles that she herself just light.

 **xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

 _"Yo Prentis! Hold the lift!"_ Morgan yelled running up to the lift just as the doors started to close.

Emily hearing this pressed the open door button on the lift to allow her team mate to enter it with her.

 _"Thanks"_ Morgan said breathlessly as the doors shut after him.

He pressed the 7 button, then looked to Emily with a raised eyebrow noticing the 8 button was already alight.

 _"You're on the same floor as me aren't you?"_ He asked.

 _"So?"_ Emily replied tiredly. It was late, she was not in the mood for Morgan's 'Morgan-ness' as she liked to call it.

 _"Oh I see."_ He relied with a chuckle. _"Midnight bootie call with blondie, no wonder you were in a rush to get out of there."_ Morgan joked.

 _"Urgh!"_ Emily moaned. _"Is your mind ever not in a gutter?"_ She asked half seriously.

Morgan just shrugged back at her and watched her while Emily watched him back.

 _"I'm worried about her okay!"_ Emily said after their staring competition.

Morgan nodded, he was worried about JJ too. So was the rest of the team. They all had noticed that she had been quiet and distracted since they landed, shut off from the rest of them. They had all seen how tired she was today, she was trying to act like her usual self but no amount of caffeine and make up could mask her exhaustion. She had stayed with the team working till just before 10pm when Gideon had told her to go to the hotel and get some rest after she had spilt coffee all over herself and him due to her hands shaking from the amount of caffeine she had ingested through the day.

 _"It's not just you guys she's been shutting off from the last few days."_ Emily continued. _"And I know what you're going to say. She's JJ it's who she is. She keeps everyone at arm's length. But not with me she doesn't. At least not since we started dating."_

 _"At least I though so."_ Emily finished with a sigh.

 _"She trusts you Prentis. She trusted you with her claustrophobia she thought none of us knew about. Just be patient with her."_ Morgan said as the doors to the lift opened on the level 7.

 _"Let me know if you girls need anything."_ He said waggling his eyebrows while walking out of the lift chuckling.

 _"Urgh! Get out of that gutter!"_ Emily moaned hitting the close the door button causing the door to close quickly after Morgan excited.

 **xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

Ring, ring.

Ring, ring.

Ring, ring.

A Phone ringing brought JJ out of the thoughts, without looking at the caller ID JJ pressed answer and held the mobile up to her ear.

 _"Jennifer Jareau."_ She said in greeting.

 _"It's me Jay."_ She heard Emily answer on the other end. _"Where are you? And don't say your hotel room as I'm outside there now and I know you're not in there."_ JJ could hear worry laced in Emily's voice.

 _"I'm at the church."_ JJ answered, not wanting to lie to her girlfriend.

 _"The one we pass on the way to the station?"_ She heard Emily ask down the phone, confused.

 _"Yeah."_ JJ answered simply.

 _"Okay."_ Emily said. _"Stay where you are, I'm coming to you okay?"_ JJ heard Emily ask down the phone, though from the tone of her voice JJ knew she was telling her rather than asking her.

 _"Yeah."_ JJ answered simply again, not really know what else to say. She pressed the end call button and placed her phone down on the church bench next to her before drawing her knees up to her chest and resting her head atop them.

Whatever happened next she was going to have to tell Emily what was going on. She knew that now. She wouldn't be able to convince her girlfriend she was okay, she knew that from the worried tone of her voice over the phone.

When JJ had left home for college she vowed to leave these memories back there and to never revisit them, to never tell anyone.

The memories had come back before time to time, on Birthdays and that day every year, but JJ had stayed true to her vow and never told anyone since she left.

It was there in her file for those that looked hard enough and saw the link. To her knowledge no one on the team had though, she had never given them reason to need to look into her background further than the necessities for the job.

No one knew.

She had no one to go to when the memories hit and the nightmares came back.

Maybe Gideon was right, and it was time to trust Emily with herself completely.

But what if Emily though it was all her fault too? Just like he had. Just like they both had.

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 **AN:** Any ideas on what it is that has JJ so out of character? Let me know what you though on this chapter and think might happen soon! Don't forget that little old review box down there!


	4. Chapter Four: The Photo

**AN:** Hi again all! Lookie here another chapter already you ask, well I guess I spoil you! Thanks again for the reviews on the last chapter and to those who are have favorited and are following my story, I hope you are all enjoying the read.

I would love to hear from you. Am I doing okay? Should I be worried that there are not more reviews? What do you think of things so far, do you want more Jemily? More Emily/JJ with members or the team? Let me know please, I have this story pretty well planned out but if there's elements people want to see more of or ideas you would like to see in here I will more than happily try to write them in.

 **Chapter Four: The Photo.**

 _ **24 and a half years ago.**_

A women with long blonde hair was sat up in a small hospital bed, blankets around her, she looked exhausted but happy. She was smiling down at her new born child wrapped in a pink blanket sleeping peacefully in her arms.

A soft knock brought her attention to the door, where an older lady also with blonde hair was stood holding flowers in one hand a handbag over of shoulder, a teddy and pink balloon with 'it's a girl' written on in the other hand.

 _"Hi Mom."_ The younger women holding the baby said smiling softly.

 _"Oh Sandra! She's beautiful."_ The older women said after walking into the room.

She placed the flowers, handbag and teddy on the bedside table and let the balloon go letting it float up to the ceiling before gently kissing her daughter's head then bending down to do the same to her new grandchild.

 _"She looks so innocent and pure, I don't even remember Rosaline looking this innocent and small."_ Sandra said rocking her new born baby.

 _"She did. This little one will be just like her. Pure and kind, full of mischief I'm sure, but just like her Mom. She's all you Sandra I don't have a doubt in my mind."_ Sandra's Mom said with a small smile placing her hand on her daughters shoulder and squeezing gently.

 _"Where's Michael?"_ Sandra's Mom asked, now just noticing that her daughters husband Michael was nowhere to be seen.

 _"He went to pick up Ros-"_

 _"Grandma Jareau!"_ Squealed an excited 6 year old Rosaline cutting her mother off mid-sentence and running through the door, attaching herself to Sandra's Mom's, Mrs Jareau's, legs.

 _"Oufff! Rosy look how big you're getting!"_ Mrs Jareau exclaimed bending down to hug her granddaughter.

 _"Hey Rosaline? Come here baby, there's someone I want you to meet."_ Sandra said softly to her eldest child.

She watched with a smile as her Mom helped the 6 year old climb up on the bed to sit next to her, before gently placing the baby in her out stretched arms, showing her how to old her little sister.

 _"This is your little sister, we going to call her Jennifer."_ Sandra said watching as her eldest daughter looked up to her seemingly deep in though.

 _"Can I call her Jenny? That way she will a 'y' ending name like me Mommy!"_ Rosaline asked excited.

 _"I think both names suit her perfectly."_ Mrs Jareau said with a smile making Rosaline beam and Sandra nod with a smile.

 _"Hi Jenny! I'm your big sister! But you can call me Rosy! We are going to be the bestest of friends, always! And we are going to have so much fun!"_ Rosaline said quickly to her sleeping sister in her arms.

Both Mother and Grandmother held tear filled smiles watching the exchange between the new sisters hoping and knowing this would be true

 _"Right."_ Mrs Jareau said clearing her throat. She went to her handbag on the bedside table and pulled out a small Polaroid camera.

 _"Now I know you three are technically 'Collins' girls now, but you will always be 'Jareau' girls to me. Let's get a photo of my three favourite 'Jareau' girls."_ Mrs Jareau said pointing the camera at her daughter and granddaughters waiting for them to move closer together and smile before taking the picture.

The camera flashed causing new born Jennifer to stir in her sisters arms before relaxing back to sleep again. Mrs Jareau took the Polaroid print from the bottom of the camera and shock it gently while the picture became clearer.

 _"Ros there you are! What did I tell you about running off like that?"_ Michael Collins said, a bit annoyed and out of breath walking through the door, a teenager following behind him that looked to be 12. They both have short brown hair, with similar facial features.

 _"Sorry Daddy."_ Rosaline said looking up to her father.

 _"Donnie!"_ She exclaimed with a smile to the teenager who just walked in behind him.

 _"Look! This is Jenny our new little sister!"_ She said excitedly.

 _"Yeah that's great Ros."_ Donnie said, not sound half as excited as Rosaline did.

He walked to the side of the room rolling his eyes before taking a seat on one of the chairs in the room. Looking around he saw three adult pair of eyes looking at him unimpressed.

 _"You're going to be a great big sister Ros. Congratulations. You to, Dad, Sandy."_ He said hoping to draw the attention off himself.

 _"Thanks Donnie."_ Sandra said.

Donnie was her step son from Michael's first marriage, even though they got on well he didn't call her Mom. She hoped that he would one day when he was ready to, but she wasn't going to force the subject.

 _"Look."_ Mrs Jareau said holding up the Polaroid picture, which now clearly showed the photo she had taken before.

 _"You all look so alike."_ She continued noticing the similar features all three faces in the picture had.

She passed the picture to Sandra who took it with a smile.

 _"We do. She, they both, look just like me."_ She said happily looking from the photo to her two daughters the youngest still in Rosaline's arms sleeping peacefully.

 _"Well she isn't going to look like me."_ Michael muttered under his break looking over his wife's shoulder to the see the picture.

 _"She's perfect."_ Sandra said looking back to the photo, not hearing her husband's muttered comment.

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 _ **Present day.**_

Walking into the church Emily shook the water from her umbrella before placing it by the door, it had been raining heavily for hours. Pulling down the hood on her long knee length black coat Emily shook her hair out of her face before scanning her surroundings.

The church was quiet.

Seeming empty.

She would have mistaken it for empty if she didn't know her girlfriend was here from their earlier conversation over the phone.

Slowly as she made her way further into the church she could start to see JJ, well the top of her head anyway.

She was sat on the floor in front of a church bench her knees drawn up to her chest, arms wrapped around them, staring to a spot near the podium.

Approaching her Emily took a deep breath before crouching door next to her.

 _"Jayje?"_ She called softly after the blonde had yet to notice her, still staring at that same spot.

Looking at her Emily could see JJ had been crying. There were tear streaks down her face. She was shivering from the cold, her clothes were wet from the rain she must have walked through, as was her hair.

Standing Emily shrugged her coat off before placing the coat around her girlfriend like a blanket.

 _"Come here Jay. You're freezing!"_ Emily sitting on the floor beside JJ laying a leg on the ground either side of her girlfriend.

She pulled JJ towards herself so that her side was resting against Emily's chest and began to rub her hands up and down the blondes arm and back trying to help her warm up.

 _"Emily?"_ JJ said in a shudder, only just now realising how cold she really was.

Truthfully she didn't even realise it had been raining when she was out walking. Emily was right, she was freezing. Shivering JJ buried in closer to Emily taking comfort in her scent and being in her arms.

 _"I'm here."_ Emily replied, hugging JJ tighter to herself when the blonde finally turned her head to look at her.

 _"Talk to me Jay."_ Emily said moving a stray strand of wet blonde hair behind JJ's ear.

 _"I can't."_ JJ croaked, her throat sore from the cold, from the crying.

 _"You'll leave me. You'll hate me."_ JJ continued.

 _"Hey, I'm not going anywhere."_ Emily said placing a hand on JJ's cheek to make sure she had her attention.

 _"I could never hate you. Never."_ Emily said.

 _"You will."_ JJ replied looking in her eyes.

 _"Just like he does, like they both do."_ She continued.

 _"Who?"_ Emily asked simply.

She watched as JJ eyes looked down, avoiding her gaze.

Following her eye sight Emily saw a photo on the floor near them next to JJ's bag. It was the photo Mrs Jareau took in the hospital. It looked worn and old, the corners crinkled, a fold mark visible in the centre. This photo had been looked after and obviously cherished very much.

Changing tactic, Emily leaned down and carefully picked up the photo looking at it closer. Looking back to JJ she could see the blonde was also looking at the photo.

Taking another look Emily was stunned, the women in the photo looked so much like JJ she could be her twin, if it wasn't for the obvious age of the photo you would think she was.

 _"Is she your mom?"_ Emily asked now looking at JJ.

JJ nodded a simple yes, still staring at the photo.

 _"You're the baby."_ Emily stated after noticing the date stamp, JJ birthday.

 _"Who is the little girl holding you?"_ She continued.

 _"My sister."_ JJ said in a whisper.

 _"Sister?"_ Emily said confused.

JJ had never told her she had a sister. Why hadn't she told her, she thought to herself. Were they not close? Thinking about it now Emily realised that JJ had never once spoken of her family with her.

 _"Her name was Rosaline."_ JJ continued, one word stuck out a little bit too much for Emily.

 _"Was?"_ Emily asked.

 _"It was my fault."_ JJ said looking up at Emily from the photo.

Looking into JJ's eyes Emily could tell that even though the blonde was looking at her in her mind she was somewhere else.

 _"Everything is my fault. Rosaline. My mom. All of it. It's all my fault."_ JJ continued in a trance.

 _"What happened to them Jayje?"_ Emily prompted, the profiler in her already knowing.

Right now though JJ didn't need profiling, she needed Emily to be her friend, to be her girlfriend. That's what Emily vowed to herself to do. She would prompt her to talk about what her mind so desperately needed her to talk about. She would hold her to let her know she was still here.

 _"They're dead and it's all my fault."_

 _"They're dead because of me."_

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 **AN:** Thanks again to all those that are reading and have reviewed so far, please continue to do so, each review you write gives poor JJ a hug, what do you think happened to make her think this is all her fault?


	5. Chapter 5: The Candle

**AN:** Hi again! Thank you all so much for the follows and favs and the reviews I'm glad you are all enjoying the story.

 **Rmpcmfan:** Thanks for your reviews so far, hope you have enjoyed the latest two chapters. I know right? Emily will always support JJ even if things that she learns are shocking, but will JJ believe her?

 **Elphiemolizbethbau:** Thanks for your reviews so far, I'm glad you are still intrigued and enjoying the story, thank you for your PM as well for the review on the previous chapter. Hope you will enjoy the Jemily scenes in this chapter and the next ones to come!

 **MyCriminaIMind:** Thank you so much for reading, haha glad you enjoyed the flashback, there will be more to come I know right? Hopefully Emily will be able to help her through it. Hope you enjoy this next update let me know what you think!

 **USCutie15:** Thank you so much, that means a lot to hear, well read. I'm glad you think so and are enjoying what you are reading so far, let me know what you think of this next update.

 **AN:** I will warn you this chapter is a bit angsty…understandable with the way the last one left… in the next few chapters we will go more into JJ's childhood, her relationship with the team, and some flashbacks to when she was getting to know the team and Emily as well as more developments in the case! And of course much more Jemily. Please remember to review and let me know what you think of this latest update.

 **WARNINGS:** **Violence and Language warnings for this chapter.**

* * *

 **Chapter Five: The Candle.**

 _ **17 years ago.**_

" _Jennifer, sweetie come here."_ Sandra Collins called to her 7 year old daughter.

They were on holiday at Tybee Island, where Sandra herself used to go with her family when she a little girl. Currently Sandra was standing in front of a small table that had tea-lights on it, one was already alight in the middle of Tybee Island's church.

She watched as her daughter ran through the aisles of the church up to her, before bending down to the small child's height.

" _When I was your age Grandpa Jareau brought me here. We used to stand right here and light a candle for all those that couldn't be with us, it was our way of remembering them."_ Sandra explained to her daughter, she watched as the 7 year old looked from her to the table deep in thought.

" _Like at church at home when we sang those songs that made Grandma cry?"_ Jennifer asked in the innocence only a 7 year old could have.

Five months ago Sandra's father passed away, it was sudden and shocking for the family, the funeral had been hard for all of them, especially Sandra's mother.

" _That's right"_ Sandra said to her daughter.

" _But it won't be sad this time. It's so Grandpa can see the light and look out for us from heaven."_ Sandra continued after seeing Jennifer's bottom lip tremble and her eyes begin to water.

Jennifer was a sensitive child, she was shy too and very small for her age. She could easily pick up on the emotions of others around her and was always deeply affected by them. She was a tactile child, would seek out comfort by touch.

" _Would you like to light a candle with me for Grandpa?"_ Sandra asked.

She watched as Jennifer nodded before picking the small 7 year old up and placing her on her hip.

Jennifer watched as her mother took a long thin matchstick from the side of the table placing it over the already alight candle causing the matchstick to begin to burn.

Sandra handed the long matchstick, now alight at the tip with fire, to her daughter before placing her own hand on top of her daughters on the matchstick so the child would not burn herself.

Together they leant towards the table and pressed the matchstick to one of the candles setting it alight, before Sandra blew on the matchstick blowing the fire out.

She took the matchstick from her daughters hand and threw it in a bin to the side of the table as Jennifer watched the newly alight candle burn and flicker gently.

Sandra placed a gentle kiss to the top of her daughters head and rubbed a hand up and down the little blondes back gently as they both looked at the candle, both content in the peacefulness of the moment.

" _I can't believe you!"_ A voice boomed angrily, the church doors slamming as the person made their way towards the mother and daughter with loud footsteps.

The sudden intrusion caused both mother and daughter to jump. Sandra squeezed her daughter a little tighter to comfort her after hearing her whimper in fear before placing her back on the ground and turning to the intruder to speak.

" _Stop using that old bat as an excuse!"_ The intruder said angrily not giving Sandra the chance to talk.

" _I know you're only doing this for her! For that stupid little shit! She's the problem! She's the reason that everything is fucked up! Why did you even have her? Why would you even want her? She's disgusting! She shouldn't even exist!"_ The intruder ranted getting faster and louder with each word said.

" _JENNIFER GET DOWN!"_ Sandra yelled suddenly her eyes widening as the intruder pulled out a gun aiming it at her daughter.

A loud bang echoed through the church.

Two bodies fell the floor.

A gun could be heard scattering to the floor.

Footsteps could be heard running back out the church.

" _MOMMY!"_

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 **Present Day.**

" _Mommy"_ Emily heard JJ whimper.

Emily pulled her closer tightening her hold on her girlfriend who seemed trapped in a memory, more like a nightmare Emily thought to herself.

She couldn't believe this. She wasn't sure if she had heard JJ right. She said they were dead. Her mom and her sister. That it was her fault. How could it be her fault? How could she think that? What had happened to them to make her think that? Is this why JJ never spoke about her family?

Emily needed to know what happened, what was going through JJ's mind right now, but she was unsure what to do.

" _How old were you when your Mom died?"_ Emily asked, starting gently.

" _Seven."_ JJ replied simply.

Should she push her for more information? Could JJ handle that right now? Whatever happened must have been traumatic for the blonde to be in the state she was.

" _What happened to your Mom baby?"_ Emily said gently to the blonde's ear.

Having made her decision and concentrating only on the girl in her arms she didn't even realise the term of endearment she just used. All she knew was she needed to try and get JJ to talk, she couldn't help her girlfriend if she didn't know.

" _She was shot."_ JJ said in a whisper.

" _Who shot her?"_ Emily probed further.

" _It should have been me. He was aiming for me."_ JJ said in a trance. Not even hearing Emily's question.

He? Emily thought, he was aiming for JJ? For a 7 year old JJ?

" _He said it was my fault…that everything was wrong because of me."_ Said continued in a trance. Emily knew now JJ was ready to talk, she needed to listen now.

" _He…he said I was disgusting, that I shouldn't exist. He was going to shoot me, he wanted to get rid of me. But my Mom…she pushed me out of the way and bullet…it…it hit her instead…he was aiming for me! I should have stopped her! It's all my fault! I should have stopped him."_

" _Hey, hey, this isn't your fault. You were seven years old Jayje, there was nothing you could have done. You were just a child."_ Emily said rocking them both side to side trying to soothe the girl in her arms.

" _The only person who is to blame for this is the man that shot you're Mom."_ Emily continued.

" _Please tell me he's rotting in gaol somewhere?"_ Emily asked, anger present in her voice.

She felt JJ nod against her. Good, Emily thought. She planned then to find out the name of this person. She wanted to make his life hell.

She hated seeing JJ in pain, hated it even more when she knew someone had tried to deliberately hurt her.

She was fuming inside. JJ was 7 when this happened.

And this person, this man wanted to shoot her? Why? What could a seven year have done to warrant being shoot at?

Especially JJ.

Her JJ.

Who was beautiful, sweet, kind and caring.

She couldn't imagine her being any different as a child.

Now JJ was blaming herself for something that she had no control over, had people blamed her for her mother's death? Is that why she blamed herself?

" _This, what happened, is not your fault."_ Emily said, with force.

" _Yes it is! He's right I shouldn't even be here, if I wasn't this wouldn't have happened. Mom would still be here. Rosaline too…she couldn't cope after, it was too much. She. She just couldn't take it anymore. Because of me! Mom died because of me. Rosaline killed herself because of me! He was right. He is right. I'm disgusting! I shouldn't exist! You should hate me! Just like they do. Why don't you hate me? I'm disgusting I'm-"_

" _Jennifer Look at me!"_ Emily said loudly cutting JJ off.

" _Look at me."_ She said in a more gentle tone physically turning JJ round in her arms to face her before cradling her face gently in her hands.

She knew JJ was insecure, she had known that before they even dated, she was only now beginning to realise the extent of it.

" _You are not disgusting. You are beautiful, inside and out. There is not a bad bone in your body, not a single one. What happened to your Mom is not. Your. Fault. You have to believe me Jay."_

" _But-"_

" _No."_ Emily said cutting her off again.

" _The only person to blame is that man. The person who shot your Mom. He is at fault here. He took your Mom away from you and your sister, from you're family. He caused you and your sister all that pain that she could not handle. He did. Not you. You are not at fault. This is not your fault. You are not disgusting. You are beautiful, and amazing. I don't care how many times I have to tell you to make you believe me. I will tell you every single day if I have to because I love you."_ Emily said staring in to watery blue eyes.

She knew it was too early in their relationship to say that, but she did.

She loved JJ.

She couldn't stand hearing JJ talk about herself that way, she had to make her believe her, she just had to.

" _I love you."_ Emily repeated simply.

" _You can't."_ JJ said, terror in her eyes.

Emily couldn't love her. She lost everyone that loved her, everyone that she loved.

" _I do Jayje, I love you."_ Emily said as she pulled the blonde into her arms rubbing her hands soothingly up and down her back with her girlfriend's head tucked gently under her chin.

" _I love you. I know that must feel terrifying to you, having lost people that you love, that loved you to, but I promise you I'm not going anywhere. I love you and I'm not going anywhere. I will spend every day making you believe that you are beautiful and that you are loved and that what happened is in no way your fault."_ Emily continued. She could feel the tension in JJ as she run her hands up and down her back. JJ was holding back sobs, she needed to let it out.

" _I love you baby, I'm not going anywhere."_ Emily said before dropping a kiss to her girlfriends head.

" _It's okay."_ Emily cooed in JJ's ear hearing a chocked sob leave the blonde.

Emily felt JJ's hands ball up tightly holding onto her shirt, holding her in place as her petite frame began to shake with the force of her sobs as she finally let her tears fall in front of her.

JJ had never cried in front of Emily, she cried when she was alone, she hated being seen as vulnerable.

Emily knew that for JJ to not only cry in front of her, but to actively seek out comfort in her, to allow Emily to hold her was a massive step.

Emily wasn't stupid, she knew that just this one conversation was not going to cure JJ's fears, her insecurities, her misplaced guilt.

That would take a long time, probably years, if she did ever fully recover.

It was a start though.

A small glimmer of hope in that JJ was opening up to Emily, letting her see her pain and allowing her to comfort her.

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 **AN:** Gotta admit this chapter was hard to right. Don't get me wrong I like a bit of angst. Poor JJ do you think Emily will ever be able to convince her what happened isn't her fault. Who do you think shot her mom?


	6. Chapter Six: Movies & Wine

**AN:** Hey Everyone. Thank you so much to all that are reading and like/favoring my story and for all the reviews. Hope you all enjoy the next installment, things will start to move a bit more after the end of the chapter, hope you all enjoy the ride!

 **Elphiemolizbethbau:** Thank for your review. Good guess, are you right? Well you will have to keep reading to find out, there may be a twist in the tale yet.

 **USCutie15:** Thanks for your review, I'm glad you are enjoying so far, as for who shot JJ's Mom well good guess but you will have to wait and see, maybe it is, maybe it's someone else, but don't worry you will find out soon! Hope you enjoy this next update.

 **102000QP:** Thanks for your review glad you are enjoying so far, as for JJ's dad well you will just have to keep reading to find out. If anyone can help JJ its Emily, let's hope she can get through JJ's wall to make her believe her.

 **Velvet95:** Thanks for reading and for your review, hope you are enjoy it so far and believe it's only just begun, you might find things getting more intense yet, hope you enjoy the ride.

 **AN:** Thank you to all that have reviewed the last chapter and all previous chapters I really love to hear from you all and would love to hear what you think of this next chapter.

* * *

 **Chapter Six: Movies & Wine.**

After a while JJ had cried herself to near exhaustion and Emily had decided it was time for the two of them to move from the cold church floor and make their way back to the hotel.

This had proved difficult due to the bad weather outside and due to the fact that JJ was drained and exhausted that she couldn't walk without having Emily to lean on for help.

However the two of them had made it back to the hotel and with very little convincing on her part Emily had managed to get JJ to stay in her room with her rather than the blondes own room.

Emily had told JJ it would be better because hers was closer and they were both tired, when really Emily had just wanted to get her girlfriend into bed and stay with her the night, she didn't want her to be alone after what she had found and out.

If she was honest she doubted that JJ wanted to be alone either, not that the stubborn girl would admit that.

After getting back to the room Emily had leant JJ an extra T-Shirt she kept in her go bag and a pair of shorts, not that the shorts were needed as Emily's T-Shirt engulfed the small blondes frame so much already.

Emily had started stripping down to change into her own nightclothes, while JJ went into the bathroom closing the door near shut to do the same.

After getting changed Emily had got into the bed under the covers and turned the TV on reducing the volume to a low hum waiting for her girlfriend to return.

Emily had known JJ was shy about her body for some time, it was part of the reason they had not had sex yet, she didn't want JJ to withdraw from herself during a moment of passion.

JJ had told Emily early on before they even started dating that she had never got that far with a women and Emily could tell she was nervous about it.

Emily didn't want to push her, she was happy to wait and let things go slowly between the two of them. She was even relieved to some degree, she always went into relationships way too fast. Before she was really ready for it things would be getting sexual, and she didn't want it to be like that with JJ, she wanted it to be when they both were ready so neither of them would regret it.

Emily had always assumed JJ would not change in front of her and was shy about her body due to her nervousness about being with a women the first time, about being with her.

However after tonight's events and the way JJ had spoken about herself, the way she saw herself, Emily was beginning to wonder if there wasn't something more to it.

After seeing how tired JJ looked upon returning from the bathroom she decided against asking her any more questions about what had happened to her when younger for tonight.

She had already found our earlier before leaving the church that JJ's mother had been murdered in that same church. Emily couldn't even begin to imagine the emotional turmoil JJ must be in being to be back in the place her mother was shot.

She had also found out that JJ had been 11 when her sister killed herself. Emily in truth didn't know what she could do to help her with this. She had no idea how JJ felt. All she knew was that she would not let JJ blame herself for something she had no control over.

She vowed to herself to spend every day reminding her girlfriend how amazing she was, how beautiful she was, and how this was in no way her fault. Not one bit. It was that monsters fault, the person who shot her Mother.

That was one thing she hadn't found out yet, who it was that killed JJ's mother. When she had tried to ask her girlfriend the name of who had shot her Mom she had completely frozen up, Emily could have sworn she had even stopped breathing for a second before completely shutting down from talking about that topic any more.

Emily hadn't been surprised at all that when JJ returned from the bathroom she left the door open slightly before joining her in the bed and snuggling right up against her.

JJ had pressed her body right up against her side with her head resting on Emily's chest, an arm thrown over her stomach.

Usually when the two shared a bed they would fall asleep facing each other having been talking before going to sleep and would wake up wrapped around each other.

JJ liked to cuddle in her sleep, that was something Emily found out before they even started dating, not that Emily minded at all, she liked being able to hold JJ as she slept. Even more so now they were dating and there was not that awkwardness when they awoke with JJ blushing and apologising about ending up half laying on top of her friend and Emily making a joke about it to try and make light of the situation.

Now there was no awkwardness.

They were just content to lay together.

JJ's smaller body naturally fitting against Emily's.

JJ's hand slowly and unconsciously slipping under Emily's top to rest on the bare skin of her stomach while she drifted off to sleep, as Emily's arm tightened around JJ's back holding her closer to her body. Emily's hand rubbing gently up and down the blondes back as she too drifted off to sleep remembering the first time the two of them ever fell asleep like this.

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 _ **2 Years ago.**_

JJ, Emily, Garcia, Reid and Morgan were currently at a bar in Quantico enjoying a well-earned and rather rare evening off together.

With Spencer Reid's 23rd Birthday coming up and with them having not celebrated JJ's 22nd the team had decided an evening out was required for the two newest recruits that had now been with them 6 months.

It hadn't been till Reid had asked JJ when her Birthday was knowing the two were close in age that the team found out she turned 22 on her second week of working with them and had not told them, saying she didn't want them to feel as though they had to do anything.

As the night had gone on Hotch seeing that it was getting late bid farewell to his team wanting to get home to Haley and his son Jack who was turning one in a few months' time.

Later Gideon had also wished the younger agents a good night and left as well leaving now only the younger members of the team still enjoying the night.

Currently Emily and Garcia were sat at the groups table watching as Reid was performing some of his card magic tricks to them while Morgan and JJ were playing darks a bit further back at the bar.

The dart game had become heated with both agents being competitive but JJ was winning by a long shot, the game had the attention of many others in the bar.

Everyone watching had become rather engrossed with the game and how the 'pint sized blondie' as Morgan had dubbed JJ early in the game was so easily beating her component.

" _Remind me to never challenge you again."_ Morgan said as he placed the darts back on a table near the board on the wall.

" _You just ruined any credibility I had here in the space of 25 minutes!"_ Morgan exclaimed looking down at his watch, causing JJ to laugh.

" _I told you I was good."_ JJ replied.

" _Yeah good. Not a bullseye dead shot."_ Morgan said. _"Your full of surprizes today aren't you?"_ He continued chuckling as JJ just shrugged.

" _Meet you back at the table."_ He called over his shoulder walking further into the bar towards a sign that said 'Toilets'.

Smiling as Morgan disappeared behind a wall where the 'Toilets' sign was JJ turned back to the dart board and walked up to it placing her own set of darts back down on a table beside the board next to where Morgan had placed his darts.

She turned and went to leave just as a man with sandy brown hair walked up to her stopping her in her tracks.

" _You got a nice arm there, for a little thing."_ The guy said, a slight slur to his speech, he had quite obviously been drinking for a while.

" _Thanks."_ JJ said a little unsure.

She tried to step round him but he moved to block her again.

" _The names Mark and you are?"_ He said extending his hand out for JJ to shake.

" _Jennifer."_ JJ replied.

She didn't shake his hand, she didn't know this man and he seemed a bit too drunk for her liking she wanted to get away from him and get back the others.

" _Nice to meet you, but my friends are waiting so I should go."_ JJ politely said trying to step around him again only for him to block her once more.

" _I'm sure they will be okay for a bit, we're only just getting to know each other, how about a dance?"_ Mark said, clearing not getting the hint as he took a step closer to JJ trying to reach for her hand only for JJ to step back her legs hitting the side of the table.

JJ felt herself starting to panic, she felt trapped, she could feel the table behind her, this guy, mark was in front of her and he wouldn't let her get passed.

It felt like the walls were to close, she hated that feeling and the panic that came with it.

Looking over her shoulder there was no sign of Morgan, he was still in the toilet.

She tried looking for the others at the table but couldn't see past Mark.

He was tall and not exactly a thinly built man.

" _No, thank you."_ JJ said politely, a nervousness in her voice.

" _Excuse me please."_ She said trying to push past him only to find her arm in a vice grip in his hand pulling her back in front of him.

" _What's the rush?"_ Mark said his grip tightening more causing JJ to wince.

" _Let me go please."_ JJ said trying to free herself again.

" _One dance won't hurt. What, do you think you are too good for me or something?"_ He continued ignoring JJ's request a bit of anger in his voice.

" _She's way too good for you in my opinion."_ Emily said behind them, when Emily had got there JJ had no idea but to say she was glad was an understatement.

Startled slightly Mark let go of JJ's arm and turned to face Emily.

" _You should go now."_ Emily said.

" _Before I arrest you for assaulting a Federal Agent."_ She continued raising her eyebrows slightly at Mark who had yet to leave.

" _Hey lady I didn't assault anyone!"_ Mark exclaimed both hands going up in the air slightly in a surrendering position.

Emily just continued to look at him while Mark looked from her back to JJ who looked away quickly her one hand rubbing her arm where a red angry hand print was.

Mumbling under his breath Mark took off in the crowd leaving the two girls alone, Emily watching him till he left the building.

" _You okay?"_ Emily said her attention turning back to JJ who was looking at her arm, her hand still rubbing where the red hand print was.

" _Yeah, just bruise easily is all."_ JJ explained looking up to Emily.

" _Thanks…for…you know."_ JJ said not really knowing what to say.

She hated that she needed to be helped out of a situation like this, she was a 22 year old FBI Agent, she shouldn't need help, but she was glad Emily had been there.

Emily just nodded.

" _You would've done the same for me."_ She said trying to make her friend feel better, she could see how self-conscious JJ was, the feeling was radiating off of her friend in waves.

" _You wouldn't have needed any help."_ JJ said annoyed with herself looking down.

" _I did a couple of years ago."_ Emily said, causing JJ to look back at her in surprise.

" _Nothing happened. But like you I needed help to get this guy to stop hassling me and Morgan was there. It can happen to anyone, even us. Don't beat yourself up about it."_ Emily said with a smile trying to comfort her friend.

JJ nodded, she smiled back to Emily in thanks.

" _It's getting crowded in here."_ Emily said noticing more people coming from the door.

" _Fancy ditching the boys for a girl's night in with me and Pen? I've got Netflix, popcorn and wine."_ Emily suggested, not liking how her friend still seemed very self-conscious.

" _Wine and movies sounds great."_ JJ answered, glad for the escape.

She smiled as Emily wrapped an arm gently around her waist in a friendly yet protective gesture before leading the two of them over to the table where the others were waiting for them.

An hour and a half later the three girls found themselves fast asleep on Emily's couch missing the film they had decided to watch which was still flickering away on the TV in front of them.

After returning to the table Garcia had quickly agreed to a movie night at Emily's place just as Morgan arrived back from the toilet.

After a few minutes the gang had finished their drinks and had all piled in a taxi together the girls being dropped off first before the boys, Morgan still complaining as to why he couldn't join them for movies and wine to be told by Emily that he didn't have the right parts for a girlie night unless there was something he was not telling her.

Once at Emily's the three of them sat on the couch JJ in the middle with Garcia and Emily on either side of her, each with a glass of red in their hands while Garcia was selecting a movie for them to watch.

After half an hour of the movie all three had finished their wine placing the glasses on the table in front of them and Garcia had fallen asleep her head resting on the arm rest of the sofa with an arm thrown over for good measure.

Emily and JJ had laughed before Emily got up and placed a small blanket on top of the bubbly blonde, which was found on the back of the sofa, to keep her warm.

Emily grabbed a second larger blanket from the back of the sofa and after sitting back down placed it over herself and JJ to keep them both warm.

Half an hour later both girls had fallen asleep JJ's head resting on Emily's shoulder an arm thrown over Emily's stomach under the blanket.

Unconsciously in their sleep both girls moved into more comfortable positions which resulted in them both laying across the sofa from Garcia, feet dangling off the sofa edge. Emily laying with her back on the sofa, JJ on her side half on top of Emily half on the sofa. Emily had her arm around JJ's back holding her while JJ's head rested on her chest her one armed draped across Emily's stomach.

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 _ **Present Day.**_

The Morning came around far too quickly for Emily and JJ neither of them having gotten much sleep due to their late night at the church, however for now the rain had at least stopped.

Tiredly the two girls had got out of bed, showered and dressed for the day JJ returning to her own room briefly to do so, before Emily came to her room to take her to breakfast at a small café down the street from the police office to get them both some much need caffeine and food for the day ahead.

After a long talk before leaving and a lot of convincing on JJ's part, JJ had managed to get Emily to agree to not tell the other members of the team about what had happened last night and what she had told her.

Emily had agreed on the condition that JJ was to come to her immediately if she found herself being overwhelmed again and that if it started to effect the case they would have to tell the team, but they would do so together.

Now the two Agents were sat side by side in the small Café, Emily have 10 minutes prior ordered their breakfasts, drinking coffee trying to prepare for the day ahead as Morgan and Reid walked through the door.

Upon spotting their friends Reid made his way over to the them passing Morgan a handful of notes on the way having already told his friend what to order for him.

" _Are Hotch and Gideon the only ones that actually like the food they serve at the hotel?"_ Reid asked taking a seat opposite JJ, not at all surprised to find them here.

" _Apparently."_ JJ replied tiredly draining her coffee cup before refilling it from the jug on the table.

" _Well Hotch is far too polite to not eat there, and Gideon, he will eat anything."_ Emily stated as though it was a fact.

" _I know there were budget cuts in our department but you would thing they could swing for a decent feed for us considering the hours we do."_ Emily grumbled, continuing.

" _And decent coffee."_ She finished, taking the jug from JJ and refilling her own cup, causing Reid to laugh and shake his head.

He wondered how his two friends didn't kill each other in the mornings, they were both irritable before having a decent coffee.

" _Late night?"_ Morgan asked as he dropped in the seat opposite Emily next to Reid. He passed a few notes and some coins back to Reid before sliding a can of coke his way too, he then opened his own can.

Emily raised her eyebrows at him causing him to laugh, challenge accepted Prentis, he thought to himself.

" _Or a busy night should I say?"_ He said causing JJ to cough, chocking on a sip of coffee she just took, and Emily to pat her back to help her clear her airways.

" _JJ are you okay?"_ Reid asked concerned, clearly oblivious to what Morgan was referring too and why his friend had reacted to it.

" _I'm fine, just swallowed the wrong way."_ JJ said her breathing now back under control, Emily's hand still tracing light patterns on her back.

" _Jerk."_ JJ muttered to Morgan causing him to chuckle, before she herself laughed, Emily too at the confused look on Reid's face.

The four Agents were so engrossed in the conversation that they didn't notice the man stood across the street watching them through the window.

He was wearing a blue jacket, jeans and a baseball cap.

He had his phone out, the camera on, it was zoomed in on JJ.

He took a photo of JJ smiling before placing the phone in his jeans pocket and walking down the street into the early morning crowds of people.

* * *

 **AN:** Uoh…Looks like trouble is a brewing, any ideas on who the guy might be? What you think is to come? Don't forget to let me know what you think!


	7. Chapter Seven: Coincidences

**AN:** Hey guys, thanks again for everybody who is reading my story, a big hello to all the new Followers and people who favorited my story and a massive thank you to all that have reviewed all chapter so far!

 **USCutie15:** Haha oo I know what you mean, it is torture waiting for those update man, Sorry for any waiting I bring you on here, I try to write as much as I can when not working hence the quick update today, I have some time off woo! Things are going to be revealed very very soon, and our new guy may make a few appearances yet, but not in the way you think at first maybe.

 **102000QP:** Thanks for your review, glad you enjoyed, hope you enjoy this one, its time for the case the get moving now and the action to begin as for who our new guy is well…there won't be long to wait but it may not be what you think at first.

 **Elphiemolizbethbau** : Haha I know right uoh indeed, things are the case are going to start moving soon, hope you enjoy the ride.

 **Rmpcmfan:** Haven't heard from you in a few chapter now. I hope you are okay and that I have not offended you with the way this story is going or anything I have written. Hope you have enjoyed what you have read so far and continue to enjoy it if you are still reading.

 **AN:** Thank you to all my readers out there and for everyone who has and does review it means a lot to me and I love hearing from you all!

 **WARNINGS: Warning for language and descriptions of torture and rape.**

 **AN:** " _ **Speech in bold italics like this are JJ's memories remembering things said to her by others."**_

* * *

 **Chapter Seven: Coincidences.**

Being back here on this island was harder than JJ could have ever imagined, she knew as soon as she saw the case and where it was this was going to be hard, but she never imagined it being this hard.

She knew she had promised Emily she would go to her if things became overwhelming, but she couldn't and wouldn't dump all this on her, she could handle this.

She just needed to clear her mind.

To stop the memories.

That's why she had offered to take the short walk to the coffee shop to get the team some snacks and well needed good coffees.

She needed to get them, and everything they had said to her out of her head, she just couldn't stop thinking about it all.

All of it, everything, kept playing in her head on a loop it was like she was a kid again, alone and afraid.

She couldn't escape it.

" _ **Look what you have done. This is all your fault"**_

" _ **You should have never been born."**_

" _ **Aw, what's wrong? You miss your mother? Well maybe you shouldn't have got her killed!"**_

" _ **You're disgusting, a devil child."**_

" _ **You're not mine. No child of mine is this pathetic."**_

" _ **Stay in there with all the shit where you belong."**_

" _ **Shut up you little shit or I'll give you something to cry about!"**_

" _ **You're a little whore Jenny, just like your mother, I bet she loved it really."**_

" _ **You're a liar."**_

" _ **You're a whore."**_

" _ **You're pathetic."**_

" _Watch where you are going!"_ An angry voice yelled breaking her out of her thoughts, her memories.

" _Sorry."_ JJ muttered shaking her head, she didn't even realise she had bumped into someone till she found herself on the floor.

JJ looked up to see a women in her late 50's step around her walking away into the crowd of people looking annoyed, obviously the person she had just walked into.

Sighing and shaking her head to clear her thoughts JJ picked herself up off the ground.

Get a grip Jareau, she thought to herself before continuing walking towards the coffee shop.

 **xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

Meanwhile at the police station a phone could be heard ringing.

" _Garcia you're on speaker."_ Hotch said after answering the phone and placing it on the table.

" _Is everyone with you?"_ The tech analyst asked.

" _Reid's just gone out to print those files you sent on the ID's of the dental records checks and JJ's gone to get us some coffee."_ Gideon replied.

" _She's in the building with you though right?"_ Garcia asked a slight worry to her voice.

" _No, she's gone to a café just down the road she won't be long."_ Morgan replied. _"Is everything okay baby girl?"_ He continued concerned.

" _I think it's safe to say our unsub has a type."_ Reid said, before Garcia had the chance to reply, walking back into the room with a bunch of files and printed paper photos in his arms.

He walked up to a board in the room and began placing the 9 pictures of the 9 victims up on the board.

Watching as Reid placed each photo up the team couldn't help but be worried their faces paling slightly.

All the victims had very similar features, blonde hair and blue eyes.

" _I know what you're going to say, this has happened before with Emily where she fits the victimology by looks. But, that last girl, Casey Jones? She looks just like her. Like she could be her sister or something."_ Garcia said worry in her voice.

Gideon nodded, he saw it to.

JJ fit the victimology by looks.

She looked far too similar to all these women, she fit the age range to.

She could easily be a possible target.

" _We won't let anything happen to JJ, or anyone else."_ Hotch said, determined.

He was voicing all their opinions.

" _I'm going to call her, get her back here."_ Emily said walking out the room her phone already up to hear ear dialling before anyone could say anything.

" _Garcia the latest victim, in the post mortem reports it was found that she was pregnant. Estimated 6 months from what was found. Can you find out if the other victims were also pregnant? We need to know everything about these women. We need to know what links they have other than physical features."_ Gideon said with urgency just after Emily left the room.

" _Reid, you and Morgan go back over the crime scene photos and look at the crime scene again, we already have established our unsub is using these women like trophies from the way he displayed them. We need to see if we missed anything, anything that could help us figure out why these women."_ Hotch said feeling uneasy.

They had found out earlier today that from a more conclusion post mortem testing the date that the latest 3 victims died was the 27th of March.

Each victim showed different types of torture on their bodies and different degrees of torture making it impossible to tell how long the unsub had the women before killing them.

The one thing that seemed constant though was that they were killed on the 27th of March on each year, each one year apart, and all by a bullet to the head, execution style.

Today was the 17th of March, they were running out of time.

They didn't even know if the unsub had his next victim or not yet and they did not want to have to wait till the 27th to find out who it was.

They needed to catch this person.

They needed a profile.

They needed it quickly before anyone else was hurt.

 **xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

Meanwhile in a prison visiting cell not far away from Tybee Island, two men were sat at a table.

The first was wearing a blue jacket and jeans, he had a visitor badge pegged onto his jacket. He had light brown hair and brown eyes, he looked to be no older than 34.

The second was wearing an orange jumpsuit he was an inmate at the prison. He had dark brown hair and green eyes, he looked to be 36.

" _So they came then?"_ The inmate asked.

" _Yeah just like you said, like moths to a flame."_ The visitor replied.

" _Everything is to plan."_ The visitor continued with a smile.

The inmate nodded.

" _I have a new one for you."_ The visitor said, his hand going in his pocket to draw out a paper printed photo.

He slid it face down across the table to the inmate.

The inmate picked up the paper photo and studied it sniggering.

It was a photo of JJ, smiling to Morgan in a café on Tybee Island, the same photo a stranger had taken on his phone unnoticed early in the morning.

" _That whore really has no idea what's to come."_ The inmate said.

" _It won't be long till she figures this out you know, that worthless piece of shit is far too smart for her own good."_ The inmate continued.

" _I'm counting on it. The fear will drive her crazy."_ The visitor said confidently.

The visitor stood from the chair he was sitting in getting ready to leave.

" _Do me a favour?"_ The inmate asked, just as the visitor started towards the door.

He waited till the visitor turned back around to face him.

" _Make sure she suffers."_ He said a wicked grin on his face.

A wicked grin that the visitor returned before walking towards the door, and calling for the guard so he could be let out.

 **xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

15 minutes after Emily had called her, JJ was walking back into the station.

She passed Reid and Morgan on the way and handed them their coffees and pastries she had brought as they headed out the police station, Morgan squeezing her shoulder on his way out telling her to not freak out.

Confused JJ made her way to the small room in which the team had set up, walking in she could see Hotch in front of a white board writing down facts that Garcia was giving him over speaker phone while Gideon and Emily were deep in conversation looking over files on the desk their backs to her.

" _I take it the dental records came through."_ JJ said announcing her presence before placing the coffees and pastries down on the table and taking a seat next to Emily.

" _JJ your back!"_ Garcia exclaimed from the phone relieved as the other members of the team in the room turned to look at her.

" _Yeah…um, what's with the –"_ JJ started confused.

" _-Oh"_ She finished, just now noticing the victims pictures behind Hotch on the board.

An uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach.

" _Well this case keeps getting better and better."_ She sarcastically.

All the team hated it when another member of the team looked similar to the victims, their jobs were worrying enough without the added pressure of having to worry if the unsub was after them too.

It was also worse though when you were the one who looked like the victims, the team were very protective of their own.

And with JJ being the youngest she knew they were not going to let her out of their sight now, especially Emily.

" _Look guys, I'll be careful."_ JJ said trying to relieve the tension that building in the room.

" _You better be gumdrop. All you other sparkly crime-fighting super heroes better bring this one home to me safely."_ Garcia said seriously.

" _I'll be fine, we need to stay on task here, not to steal your line Hotch."_ JJ said looking around her friends in the room, a hand rubbing the back of her neck nervously as she saw her team mates nod and heard Garcia sigh down the phone.

" _Besides, I'm not pregnant."_ JJ said noticing that written on the board under each victim was list of details they had so far, one of which was that all 9 victims had been pregnant.

A collective nervous laugh was heard from all in the room, including Garcia.

" _How far along are-um, were the victims?"_ JJ asked.

" _From the looks of the hospital records all were at least six months along when they died."_ Garcia said, typing could be heard in the background.

" _Can we be sure that they are the targets are not the unborn babies?"_ JJ said.

" _We can't rule that out at this stage."_ Hotch replied. He too had thought the same thing on finding out that all the victims were pregnant and so far along when they had died.

" _Wait-I think I found something."_ Garcia said suddenly.

" _I've been searching through the medical records, like you asked me sir, to try and find anything that-"_

" _Garcia what is it?"_ Emily said impatiently cutting her friend off.

" _Four of the Nine victims medical records show that they reported being raped shortly before they found out they were pregnant."_ Garcia replied, unsure.

" _That can't be a coincidence."_ JJ said paling slightly.

Something didn't seem right about this to JJ, something was very, very wrong.

" _One of them was the first victim the only one that was reported missing on Tybee Island itself, Tracy Brookhaven."_ Garcia continued.

" _Where on the Island was she reported missing, I don't remember you saying?"_ Gideon asked.

" _Um…the report her says her employer reported her missing, she had gone to deliver some cakes from where she worked to a local charity bake sale."_ Garcia said reading through the file she had searched for on her computer.

" _Garcia."_ Hotch said his own way of asking the tech analyst to hurry and find the answer they wanted.

" _I'm getting there. It says the bake sale was held at…the local church."_ Garcia finished.

" _Wait! What?"_ JJ said alarmed.

She tensed.

She knew Emily felt her tense as she felt Emily's hand on her back.

She could feel more than see the concerned looks being sent her way from the others in the room, she could feel the worry in Emily's posture as she moved herself a little bit closer almost protectively.

She couldn't react to it though, she was lost in her own thoughts, there was something going on here, she could tell.

" _What was the date again? The date of death for each of the victims?"_ JJ asked trying to control the running thoughts in her head.

" _March 27_ _th_ _."_ Hotch replied.

" _JJ are you okay."_ He continued seeing her face pale further.

March 27th.

The sound of that date pierced through her ears almost as loud as the gunshot had when she was seven.

March 27th was the day the courts allowed her to change her 2nd name to Jareau.

It was the day her mother's killer was found guilty and sent to prison.

It was the day she freed herself from a nightmare.

She placed her head in her hands staring at the table.

This couldn't be happening, could it?

Everything couldn't lead back to that church could it?

" _Jay?"_ Emily said worried, she was worried this was too much for her girlfriend, worried that she would not be able to cope with the case.

" _Remember what we spoke about this morning?"_ She said quietly to JJ waiting till her girlfriend lifted her head to look at her.

JJ nodded, she did remember and what Emily was implying was right, the team needed to know, but not so they could support her like Emily was thinking.

Sighing JJ collected her thoughts mentally preparing herself for what she was about to reveal, for what the team was about to find out, she just hoped that Emily meant it when she told she could never hate her.

" _Garcia. I need you to not ask questions now and do something for me?"_ JJ said taking a deep breath.

" _Gumdrop?"_ Garcia asked, you could hear the worry laced in her voice.

" _I need you to gather all the information you can on a shooting that happened here on Tybee Island 17 years ago. The victim's name is-was Sandra Collins, maiden name Jareau."_ JJ said looking to the table.

She couldn't look at her bosses, or Emily even who was gently stroking her hand up and down her back trying to let her know she was there with her like she said she would be.

She could look any of them in the eye as she said –

" _I think this case is related."_

* * *

 **AN:** Well…who saw that coming? Why do you think JJ thinks its all connected to her Mom? What do you think will be revealed that could cause Emily to hate her in JJ's mind? Who are those two guys and what do they want with JJ?

Don't forget to drop a review and let me know what you think!


	8. Chapter Eight: You Saw Nothing

Hey all, thank you so much for everybody who is readying and following my story out there, hope you are enjoying the ride so far. I wanted to get another chapter out before the weekend so here you go, I've got a busy week at work from now on the next one won't be up till Sunday the latest.

 **Elphiemolizbethbau** : I know right poor JJ, she been though a lot already, and unfortunately someone's planning more for her yet, who that is will be revealed soon, hope you enjoy let me know what you think!

 **102000QP:** Thank you I'm glad you enjoying the twists, there are more to come, hope you enjoy those too, let me know what you think!

 **MyCriminaIMind:** Im glad you are enjoying the story, hope you like what's to come, there's still so much more to the story, as for JJ's Mom well, you will soon find out the story there. The guy in Goal defiantly has it in for JJ the reason why will be in the next chapter to come, but this one you will find things start falling into place more as to who at least one of the guys may be. Hope you continue to enjoy, let me know what you think!

 **USCutie15:** Haha I know, I had a few days to myself and and just couldn't stop myself, hope you enjoy this next update. As for what happens to JJ, well you will just have to stay with me and find out, things are going to be revealed soon and start to really heat up, let me know what you think!

 **fallenangel1396:** Thank you for reading and reviewing. Glad to hear, I hope this one does not disappoint, let me know what you think!

 **AN:** So I've just realise I've been spelling Emily's second name wrong in the last few chapters, sorry about that guys. I know it's no excuse but I have Dyslexia, and sometimes I can't see that what im writing doesn't have the right spelling for it and is the wrong version for a word. For example for years I used to spell and write Weird as Wired, to me it looked right, and as spell check didn't pick it up I didn't realise till someone pointed it out! So if anyone sees anything like that I apologise and please do point it out to me so I know to change what I'm doing. Thanks guys.

 **WARNINGS:** **Violence, death of a parent and language warnings for this chapter.**

* * *

 **Chapter Eight: You Saw Nothing.**

 _ **19 years ago.**_

Five year old Jennifer Collins was ran as fast as her small legs could carry her, she had to hide and quick. Her eleven year old sister Rosaline was already half way through the count down before she would be coming to find her, ready or not.

She needed a hiding place that would be perfect, Rosaline had said if she couldn't find a place that took her longer than a few minutes to find they would not be playing again.

Her sister was getting fed up of playing the game now, especially as Jennifer was so bad at finding a good hiding space.

Running through the kitchen door and into the garden Jennifer spotted her older half-brother Donnie who was now 17 years old near the garage next to his car.

" _Donnie!"_ Jennifer yell-whispered to the older boy.

" _You have to help me hide somewhere Rosy can't find me! Quick!"_ Jennifer whispered slightly out of breath after making her way over to her half-brother.

" _Go away I'm busy!"_ Donnie replied annoyed at the interruption from the five year old not looking away from his car, he had just brought a new speaker system he wanted to install and plug into tape deck.

" _Please Donnie! Please"_ Jennifer begged.

" _Fine."_ Her brother relented, looking up from the instruction manual.

He pretended to look around for the perfect hiding place for his little sister before turning to her with smirk.

" _So you want somewhere Rosaline can't find you or hear you?"_ He asked as the five year old nodded back to him eagerly.

" _Come with me."_ He said leading his sister through to the back of garage.

There was a metal door at the back of the garage that led to a small workshop that had been sound proofed so that when the door was closed no sound could be heard from inside.

Donnie walked up to the door and grabbed a set of keys hooked high up on the wall, placing a key in the lock on the door he opened it turning back to the five year old who shook her head nervously and backed up a step.

" _Daddy'll get mad, I'm not meant to go in the workshop."_ Jennifer said her bottom lip quivering.

A few months ago Michael Collins had left the door open to his workshop where he made wooden sculptures and Jennifer had gone into the small room looking for her father not knowing he was not in there. Upon returning to the workshop Michael had yelled at her telling her to keep her filthy little hands off of his work, the sudden volume of his voice had scared the little girl causing her to drop and break the small sculpture she had picked up to look at. Michael had been furious and proceeding to give Jennifer a rather hard spanking, and afterwards told her that if she ever went in the workshop again that she would regret it.

" _Dad and your Mom aren't back till tomorrow remember. He won't know you're in there."_ Donnie said reminding the small girl that her parents were out for the night, he had been left in charge of looking after his sisters.

" _I won't tell him if you won't."_ Donnie assured his sister who took a small step closer to him.

" _Promise?"_ She asked looking round him in to the workshop.

" _Cross my heart."_ Donnie said drawing a cross along his chest with his finger.

" _Rosy will never think to look for you in here and when she gives up I'll come and let you know, okay?."_ Donnie said to his sister.

He smiled as she nodded her head to him walking into the door, he was about to close it when she turned back to him.

" _Can you turn the light on? I can't reach it."_ Jennifer said, she didn't like the dark, and with there being no windows in the workshop it was already dark, she knew with the door closed it would be worse.

" _Rosy will know you're there if the lights on."_ Donnie said moving to close the door again.

" _Donnie wait! I don't wa-"_

Jennifer started only to be cut off as Donnie closed the door in her face with a bang silencing her.

He locked the door and placed the keys back on the hook high up on the wall.

" _Stupid little shit."_ He said chuckling as he walked away.

 **Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

 _ **Present Day.**_

" _Jareau?"_ Garcia asked shocked over the phone.

Emily's hand stilled on her back.

Gideon's pen stopped tapping on the table.

Hotch's head snapped in JJ's direction.

Three pairs of shocked eyes fell onto JJ, Gideon and Hotch having no idea what was going on, Emily confused as to why JJ thought her mother's death had anything to do with the case they were now working on.

" _Garcia."_ JJ said in a sigh.

" _Right, no questions."_ Garcia replied, unsure, typing could be heard over the phone.

" _Jennifer?"_ Gideon asked drawing the blonde's attention away from the table and to himself.

" _The victim in this case, Sandra Collins? What relation is she to you?"_ He asked concerned.

" _She was my mother."_ JJ replied taking deep breaths, she could feel panic rising, it was as though the walls were carving in on her again.

Gideon's normally stoic face showed shock. As did hotch's.

Garcia could be heard gasping down the phone.

The room was silent for a moment bar Garcia's typing that could be heard down the phone and JJ's heavy breaths as she felt more panic rising within her.

Hotch stood and walked to the door intending to close it, the younger agent and media liaison of his team was smart, if she thought the case was connected she was probably right.

Whatever they were about the find out was obviously something that affected JJ deeply from the way she was acting right now.

The last thing they needed was a precinct full of cops hearing and listening in to this conversation.

" _Don't. Please Don't."_ JJ said gasping for breath, panicked.

She couldn't breathe.

The walls were closing in.

The open door was her only escape, if it was closed there was no way out.

JJ could hear Hotch's concerned voice asking if she was okay, telling her he only closed the door so they could have more privacy.

She could hear Emily asking Gideon to open the window and him quickly complying.

She could hear Garcia calling her Gumdrop over the phone, concerned about her.

But she couldn't react.

She felt trapped.

She felt locked in.

The walls were getting closer.

She couldn't breathe.

" _Jayje! Jayje! Look at me."_ Emily said placing her hand on her girlfriends face trying to gain her attention, her thumb stroking under the blondes chin gently.

She waited until JJ's panicked blue eyes stopped darting around the room and focused on her own.

" _It's okay, just breathe. You're okay. The windows open okay? You're not locked in, we just needed some more privacy. You're okay, just breathe."_ Emily coached quietly as the blonde focused on her and started to breathe slower at a more even pace.

Satisfied that her girlfriend was calmer now and could breathe move easily Emily removed her hand from her face and took JJ's hand in her own, enclosing their fingers together and resting their joined hands on her own lap.

" _Sorry."_ JJ said quietly, embarrassed.

" _No I'm sorry JJ."_ Hotch said taking a seat again facing the blonde.

" _I should have remembered that you are claustrophobic."_ He apologised.

JJ looked to Hotch confused, how did he know? She hadn't told him, she turned her head to look at Gideon who smiled gently at her.

Gideon. Of course, that made sense.

If Gideon knew, Hotch would know.

Did the whole team know?

" _What?"_ Garcia shouted alarmed, pulling JJ out of her thoughts.

" _You're claustrophobic? Why didn't you tell me?"_ Garcia continued.

" _Oh my God! I shut you and Emily together in the-"_

" _Garcia."_ Emily said quickly cutting her friend off, her bosses didn't know about the cupboard situation to her knowledge.

She preferred to keep it that way.

" _Did you find the information on that case?"_ She continued.

" _Right. You're right. Stay focused. We are having a chat later gumdrop!"_ Garcia announced.

" _Garcia."_ Hotch warned.

" _I'm getting there! Okay, there seems to be two different sets of files, one from 17 years ago, one from almost 10 years ago."_ Garcia said, getting down to business.

" _Any idea why?"_ Gideon asked.

" _It seems that-"_

" _They got the wrong person 17 years ago, it wasn't till 7 years later that they sent the right person to prison."_ Said JJ, cutting of Garcia.

" _It took seven years for police to realise they had the wrong person? How?"_ Emily asked turning to JJ who wouldn't look her in the eyes.

" _The evidence was overwhelming, it all pointed to one person."_ Garcia informed them.

" _Surely this person insisted their innocence though?"_ Hotch said confused.

It was not unheard of for a person to be wrongly imprisoned for something they did not do, but seven years was a long time, usually the person would be persistent in their claims on innocence and would always try to appeal the decision a lot sooner than seven years.

" _Actually sir, this guy. Charles Tyln. He confessed to everything."_ Garcia stated.

" _How did it get to a retrial then?"_ Gideon asked confused.

In the laws eyes the case would have been closed the evidence pointed to Charles Tyln, and he confessed.

He was found guilty and sent to prison, that would have been the end of it.

" _A Witness came forward."_ Garcia said.

Emily felt JJ tense next to her.

She felt her hand grip her own tighter, almost painfully.

Emily was confused, JJ told her the other night that her mother's murder was in prison.

She had said nothing about it taking seven years to get him there though.

JJ had said nothing about another person who was not the killer being charged, had she forgotten about it all?

JJ had seen everything why did it take her seven years to tell someone what happened, had she repressed the memory?

Had she been too traumatised by it all to speak up when they caught the wrong person?

" _I was scared."_ JJ said in a small voice, pulling Emily from her thoughts.

Hotch and Gideon exchanged a look. They were concerned.

They had no idea what was going on, which was bad enough, the last time a member of the team kept a secret hidden from the team they had almost been arrested.

Having witnessed something like that must have been traumatic for a young child, and now being back in the place that it happened it was no wonder the agent had been acting strangely.

Looking at JJ Hotch could see the tiredness in her eyes, she hadn't been sleeping, why hadn't see said something? If he knew the past the media liaison had with this Island he would have never asked her to come. She knew that surely? Although that's probably why she didn't say anything, they all knew she kept things close the chest.

She didn't like seeming weaker than them.

Like she couldn't deal with the things they saw just because she wasn't a profiler.

" _You were the witness who stepped forward, you saw the whole thing?"_ Hotch asked, a gentleness to his voice none of the team had heard before.

JJ nodded.

She didn't know what to say.

" _Had you repressed the memories until then?"_ Gideon asked, to him it made sense.

Children couldn't always wrap their head around situations like that, they would repress it.

JJ shook her head, no, she hadn't repressed the memories.

" _What were you scared of?"_ Emily asked her, causing JJ to look at her as Emily thumbs gently brushed her knuckles of the hand she was holding.

" _Michael."_ JJ whispered, looking into Emily' eyes seeing nothing but concern there, no anger.

Looking into her eyes made her feel safe.

She felt like maybe Emily was telling the truth.

Maybe Emily wouldn't leave her when she found out.

She starred into her girlfriend's eyes as she began to tell her what had made her so afraid, what had stopped her from coming forward for all those years, the memories of what had happened coming to the front of her mind.

 **Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

 _ **17 Years Ago.**_

Seven year old Jennifer was stood frozen, tears streaming down her face as she starred at her mother's lifeless body.

She couldn't understand why her Mom had not got up.

Why she wasn't crying.

Jennifer always cried when she was bleeding, when she was hurt.

There was so much blood, she must be hurt.

Why wasn't her mom crying?

At first Jennifer thought she was asleep.

But her mom's eyes were open.

How could she be asleep if her eyes were wide open?

" _Oh God. What have you done?"_ Michael Collins exclaimed in desperation as he dropped to his knees next to his dead wife.

" _Why isn't Mommy getting up?"_ Jennifer asked in innocence not understanding what was happening, her voice small.

" _Because she's dead! Look what you did!"_ Michael screamed turning on his daughter.

" _But…I…he."_ Jennifer tried to speak, frightened of her father's anger.

" _Why did she have to do that? Why did she have to save you? You're disgusting! A devil child!"_ Michael said as he stood allowing him to lean over Jennifer and shout in her face.

" _I want Mommy!"_ Jennifer cried trying to back away from Michael who grabbed her by her arms tightly, not allowing her to get away.

" _Daddy stop, you're hurting me."_ Jennifer cried as her father's grip on her arms tightened tears streaming down her face faster.

" _Don't call me that! You're not mine. No child of mine would be this pathetic."_ Michael said pulling her closer to himself bending down so he his face was right in hers.

" _Listen to me very carefully. You. Saw. Nothing. Do you understand me?"_ He said to the terrified seven year old, knowing he needed to take control of the situation.

" _But, he, he had a gun and he-"_

The sound of a slap echoed around the church loudly cutting Jennifer off.

" _You saw nothing."_ Michael repeated calmly.

" _You were with me and we found your Mom like this."_ Michael told the child.

" _Do you understand?"_ He asked.

" _Do. You. Understand?"_ He asked louder, shaking her shoulders to get her attention.

Another loud slap echoed around the church followed by a second one that almost sent Jennifer flying to the floor, only to be held still by Michael's tight grip on her arms.

" _I said do you understand?"_ Michael yelled in the seven year olds face causing her to nod her head in fear.

" _Good."_ Michael said calmly, too calmly.

"If you ever tell anyone what you saw I will make you wish that he had not missed. What happens to you will be much, much worse. Now tell me, what did you see?" Michael threatened the little blonde, before asking for confirmation on what he had told her.

" _I…I, didn't see anything."_ Jennifer said her voice small, head down a faraway look on her face.

* * *

 **AN:** Comments? Any ideas who it was that killed JJ's Mom, still think it was her dad? Please leave me a review to let me know what you thought.


	9. Chapter 9: JJ's Theory Explained

**AN:** Hey guys, hope you are all well and still enjoying the story, sorry this is up late, well not later than Sunday like I said, but late at night UK time, this chapter holds some sensitive topics and I was re-reading a few times as I wanted to handle them delicately. Thank you again to everybody who is readying liking favouring and reviewing, I love to hear from you all so please keep doing so!

 **102000QP:** Thanks, glad you enjoyed, you are about to find out. Let me know what you think.

 **USCutie15:** Thanks for the review, glad you are enjoying so far, as for JJ's half-brother, well keep reading you are about to find out! Let me know what you think.

 **Elphiemolizbethbau:** Haha that made me laugh yes, he is a fuckweed! Thanks for your review, you are about to find out will your theory be correct? Let me know what you think!

 **MyCriminaIMind:** Thank you for your review, I'm glad you are enjoying. Thank you for your comment on my writing it always means a lot to hear I am doing a good job. As for Donnie and Michael and whether they are involved in the murder, well you are about to find out! Hope you enjoy what's to come.

 **Kensi1997:** Thank you for your review and Hi, welcome. I'm glad you are enjoying the story so far, let me know what you think of this latest chapter. BTW I am eagerly awaiting a new update for your story kids in the BAU 2, it's a great story .

 **AN:** So here is the next chapter, please let me know what you all think!

 **WARNINGS:** **Violence, Language, suicide, hints of abuse, talk of sexual assault and rape warnings for this chapter.**

* * *

 **Chapter Nine: JJ's Theory Explained.**

 _ **13 years ago.**_

Opening her eyes she could see it was still dark out, still night time.

She looked to her side confused, her sister had been with her when she fell asleep.

Looking to the alarm clock on the bedside table she saw it was now 4.30am.

Her breathing was normal, so it wasn't another nightmare that had woken her.

Suddenly her eyes feel to the open bathroom door, where the light was on and a slow dripping sound could be heard.

Slowly eleven year old Jennifer Collins rose from the bed making her way to the bathroom.

" _Rosy?"_ She called thinking that maybe her sister was in there, maybe that was what had woken her.

" _Are you-"_

She stopped dead in her tracks in the open doorway.

" _Rosy?"_ She whispered shocked.

There was blood dripping on the bathroom floor.

So much blood.

Too much blood.

Blood running down the lifeless arm dangling from the bathtub.

Blood everywhere.

" _Rosy!"_ She yelled rushing to her sister's side.

" _Rosy! Wake up! You have to wake up!"_ Jennifer yelled at the top of her lungs terrified.

" _What the hell are you yelling about? Waking the whole damn house up!"_ Michael Collins sneered storming into the bathroom.

" _She…She won't wake up."_ Jennifer said scared, her eyes wild and terrified as she turned to Michael.

" _Get out the way!"_ Michael said pushing Jennifer towards the wall as he rushed towards Rosaline.

" _Rosaline! Rosaline!"_ Michael screamed shaking the seventeen year old.

" _Call an Ambulance!"_ He ordered to Donnie Collins who had just appeared in the doorway.

Twenty-three year old Donnie nodded as he rushed from the room to get a phone as Michael continued to shake Rosaline trying to get her to wake up.

" _Is she…is she going to be okay?"_ Jennifer asked in a small scared voice.

She was terrified, she had only seen that much blood once before in her life, when her mother had died. She couldn't lose Rosaline to.

" _Shut your mouth"_ Michael growled out, turning towards Jennifer.

" _This is your fault. You said something to her."_ He said approaching her as she backed further into the wall in fear.

" _Didn't you?"_ he said angrily in Jennifer's face.

Quickly Jennifer shook her head, she hadn't said anything, she never said anything.

" _Do not lie to me girl!"_ Michael yelled after slapping her across the face.

Hard.

" _I didn't say anything. I swear."_ Jennifer said fearfully tears streaming down her face.

" _The Ambulance is on the way."_ Donnie announced rushing back into the room, Michael nodded in response while still staring at Jennifer.

" _Look after your sister, I need to lock the trash up."_ He spat grabbing Jennifer's arm roughly and pulling her out the room.

" _Make sure you throw away the key this time, so she can't do more damage."_ Donnie called after them watching as his father pushed his half-sister roughly down the hallway towards the stairs.

" _Dad, please! Don't."_ Jennifer begged, terrified.

" _It's sir when we are not in public you pathetic girl."_ Michael growled smacking her on the back of the head and pushing her down the stairs.

Jennifer almost lost her footing and tripped down the last two stairs as Michael continued to push her before catching her arm again and dragging her towards the garage.

" _I'm sorry sir, I didn't mean to. Please don't lock me in there!"_ Jennifer apologised, begging again.

She hated being locked up, she could always feel the walls moving in on her and the panic setting in when she was locked up.

" _Keep moving."_ Michael ordered, ignoring her pleas.

He opened the door leading from the house to the garage and pulled her in stopping at the back of the garage in front of his workshop.

Taking the keys off of the hook on the wall he unlocked the door and opened it before pulling Jennifer close to himself so her face was right by his own.

" _You better hope she lives."_ Michael threatened before forcefully shoving Jennifer into the workshop with such force that she fell to the floor before slamming the door shut and locking it plunging the room into darkness.

 **Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

 _ **Present Day.**_

" _What did he do to scare you?"_ Emily asked her eyes trained on JJ's trying to show her girlfriend that she supported her and was here for her, as the blonde looked for comfort and the sense of being grounded by looking into Emily's eyes.

" _He, he told me to say that I didn't see anything. He said if I ever told the truth I would feel a pain worse than my Mom had."_ JJ replied.

" _You were seven!"_ Garcia said disgusted.

" _Who the hell does that to a seven year old?"_ She continued angrily.

" _What's his full name? I'm going to find him and erase him."_ She finished.

" _Garcia."_ Hotch warned.

" _He's in Goal."_ JJ cut in.

" _He was sent away for giving false evidence, conspiracy and…other things."_ JJ finished

" _Did he ever hurt you?"_ Emily asked, concerned.

" _No."_ JJ lied whispering, looking down.

" _JayJe-"_

" _What happened to me doesn't matter."_ JJ cut in before Emily could speak, they had gotten off topic.

JJ took a breath before forcing herself to look at her team members in the room.

" _Yes it does."_ Emily insisted after JJ's eyes meet her own again.

" _Not to the case it doesn't. I think that Charles Tyln is the unsub."_ JJ stated, affectively changing the topic of conversation as well as getting back on track with why she decided to tell her bosses about her mother.

" _Why?"_ Hotch asked curiously, he wanted to see where she was going with this, it hadn't gone unnoticed to him the abrupt topic change, nor how adamant the blonde seemed about what she had said.

" _During the retrial I remember him talking about my Mom's murder as though he did it and as though he was proud of what he had done. It was like she was his trophy kill."_ JJ explained.

" _He kept saying that I was a liar, that I made it all up until Donnie-, until the killer got tongue tied on the stand and confessed to everything. After that he was upset, he was angry that people didn't believe still that he had done it."_ She continued.

" _You all think they victims look like me, they do. But I look like my Mom. Exactly like my Mom. I think it's why Michael hated me so much, I reminded him of her and everything that happened to her, he hated that."_ JJ finished.

The room was silent as everybody took in the information.

" _Michael is your father isn't he?"_ Gideon asked, seeing the connection.

" _I thought he was my father. I didn't find out till later that he was really my step-father."_ JJ confirmed with a sigh.

She looked to Emily trying to find some strength she wanted to believe Emily when she said she would never hate her, but she was finding it hard.

Taking a deep breath she took her hand from Emily's, causing the brunette to look at her concerned, before folding her arms in front of herself.

" _I think if we dig deep enough into the victims lives we will find that all of them, not just four of them, were sexually assaulted before finding out they were pregnant."_ JJ said her skin paling, she felt sick.

" _I think Charles is killing the victims to reclaim the murder he in his eyes lost and he is killing the unborn babies so they can't take those kills away from him like I did on March 28_ _th_ _almost ten years ago."_ She theorised, explaining what she had thought since she made the connection with the dates and the photographs in her head.

Silence fell over the room again.

" _I have to go."_ JJ rushed out before fleeing from the room.

After exchanging a quick glance with her bosses Emily soon followed after her leaving the room in silence once again.

Hotch stood and walked over to the door closing it before turning around and leaning on the closed door collecting his thoughts.

" _Garcia, I'm going to send the jet to pick you up. We need you out here. Till you get here I want you to find out everything you can about Charles Tyln, his past, his friends, what he's been up to after he was released. Everything."_ Hotch said.

" _Yes sir."_ Garcia said before hanging up the phone, a beep was heard over the speaker phone signalling that she had ended the call.

" _I'm in half a mind to send JJ home on the jet. She shouldn't have to be here while reliving all this."_ Hotch said concerned.

Though he rarely showed it he did worry about all his team and the effects that these cases had on them.

" _If it wasn't for the fact I think she is right I would do, but we need her."_ He finished.

Gideon nodded in agreement.

" _We will know more when Garcia gets back to us, but from what she said he fits the parts of the profile we have figured out."_ Gideon agreed.

" _The victimology and the dates are one hell of a coincidence if it's not him."_ He finished. Stating what they all had thought.

" _Do you think she will be okay?"_ Hotch asked concerned.

They all had a past, he knew that.

Just recently though he was finding out how much of a past some of his agents in the team had.

It made them all the people they are today, it allowed them to profile things others could not, it made them stronger.

He was worried about her, she had been through a lot from what they had found out.

A lot of things they could have never imagined her having to go through as a child and probably a lot more they did not know about.

Too much for someone so young.

Too much for any person.

" _She's strong, a fighter._ Stronger _than we all could have known. She'll find her strength again to see this through, to catch the monster that's doing this and get justice for those victims."_ Gideon said.

" _What if she can't?"_ Hotch asked.

" _Then we will be here for her to lean on and draw strength from, we're a team."_ Gideon said simply.

 _ **Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**_

After fleeing the room JJ had ran to the nearest restroom with Emily close behind.

Upon entering the room Emily had seen JJ hunched over the sink as though she was about to be sick.

Thinking quickly and knowing the blonde would hate it if anybody saw her in this position she quickly locked the door of the rest room so no one else could enter before walking to the far end of the room and opening the window wide to let a cool breeze pass through the room, cooling them both down as well as making sure JJ could feel as though she was not locked in completely.

Now five minutes later JJ was sat on a small ledge that was lower to the floor than the sink was with her head down looking to the floor.

She hadn't been sick, the feeling had passed, she didn't know how she felt now.

Emily after opening the window had walked back to the door and leaned against it giving her girlfriend some privacy to collect her thoughts knowing JJ would talk to her when she was ready.

" _How can you look at me?"_ JJ asked feeling Emily's eyes on her.

Pushing off of the door Emily walked over to where JJ was sat on the ledge even with JJ sitting down the small bit of height from the ledge made them as tall as each other now.

Standing in front of JJ Emily placed a hand on either side of her girlfriends sides down near her hips waiting until she looked up at her.

" _How can I not? You're Beautiful."_ Emily answered as though it was the simplest thing on earth.

" _No I'm not."_ JJ said looking down again.

" _Hey."_ Emily said a hand leaving the blondes one side to lift her chin so they were looking into each other's eyes again.

" _I'm disgusting."_ JJ said tears forming in her eyes.

" _No you're not baby, I promise you."_ Emily said one hand cupping JJ's cheek tenderly the other rubbing up and down her one side.

" _The man who assaulted your Mom is disgusting. What he did is disgusting. You aren't. You are not to blame for it. You are the one good and pure thing that happened from that."_ Emily said.

" _My Grandma told me that once."_ JJ said after a while, looking into Emily's eyes.

" _Yeah?"_ Emily asked intrigued.

JJ nodded.

" _She sounds like a smart lady. You should listen to her."_ Emily said with smile, which grew into a grin as JJ gave her a small smile back.

" _I asked her once why my Mom kept me, after, you know, what happened to her."_ JJ said.

" _She told me Mom didn't realise she was pregnant at first. She came here on holiday, trying to get back to some sort of normality and got sick one night. She went to the doctors and they told her she was pregnant. Grandma said that Mom had been in a state of shock since it happened and the news brought her out of it. When she got home Mom went for an ultrasound and Grandma went with her, Grandma said Mom seemed so happy to see me on the screen, that she seemed at peace after she saw me. That she started to become more like herself again and that she…she loved me, the moment she saw me."_ JJ finished chocking up on the word 'loved'.

" _How could she not have, you were a part of her. It doesn't matter how you came into this world. You were her daughter and she was your mother. Of course she loved you."_ Emily said quietly.

" _I think that's why Donnie and Michael hate me…they said I was a devil child, that I caused my Mom so much pain, that I destroyed our family."_ JJ confessed tears slowly starting to trickle down her cheeks.

" _That's not true. Any of it. You didn't do anything, you didn't cause your Mom any pain. It sounds more like you did the opposite. You helped her through a horrible ordeal."_ Emily said gently using the thumb of her one hand to brush away the tears from JJ's cheeks.

" _The man that killed your Mom was this Donnie?"_ She asked, she had heard JJ say that name before, in the other room when referring to the killer.

JJ's eyes widened in fear, she hadn't realised she let the name slip, Emily knew now, she couldn't lie.

Not that she needed to he was in prison now, they both were.

They couldn't hurt her any more, not that that stopped her from feeling afraid.

The fear had been conditioned into her for so long as a child it was the first emotion she felt when thinking about either of them.

Taking a couple of deep breaths JJ braced herself for the next question before nodding in confirmation to Emily.

" _You know him? Personally I mean. Who is he?"_ Emily asked both her hands returning to JJ's side giving the blonde a small comforting squeeze, she had seen the fear in her eyes.

" _My step-brother."_ JJ admitted.

Emily nodded, that made sense, well as much sense as any of this did.

Looking at JJ Emily could still see fear in her eyes and tiredness.

She didn't like seeing either of those things in her eyes.

Seeing fear in her girlfriend's eyes almost broke her heart, she didn't want JJ to ever be scared around her, she knew, or at least hoped, that the fear was not because of her.

Gently Emily took both her hands from JJ's sides and placed them on her back pulling the blonde towards her.

She sighed in relief when she felt JJ lean into her and wrap her arms around her neck still looking into her eyes.

She knew JJ had lied earlier in the office, she also knew why she had.

She knew JJ.

JJ hated people knowing of any slight weakness she had, before Emily thought it was through pride, a stubborn streak the blonde had sometimes in not wanting to ask for help.

Now though she was sure it was through fear, fear of that weakness being used against her.

To hurt her.

" _I love you, I'm not going to hurt you like they did."_ Emily promised before kissing JJ gently on the lips.

She was relieved again when JJ kissed her back pulling the two of them closer together.

It wasn't a deep kiss, it was gentle.

A promise.

A Kiss to reassure her and to show how much she loved her.

 **Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

Meanwhile at the outskirts of Tybee Island near the docks that the ferries use to bring people over from the mainland port a man was waiting at the side of the road.

It was the same man from the prison, the same man that took the photo on a mobile phone of JJ outside the café.

He had his baseball cap back on and was still wearing the same clothes only now he had a large brown messenger bag over his shoulder.

Suddenly a black van pulled up on the dirt track side walk next to the man.

He walked up the van and opened the passenger door before getting in.

He turned to look at the driver.

" _Did you get them?"_ The driver asked, a women in her mid-thirties, she had short brunette hair was thin, she had red rims under her eyes, she looked as though she had taken something recently.

" _Yeah I got them."_ The man said.

He opened the messenger bag and pulled out two vehicle license plates, he passed them to her.

" _You remember the plan?"_ He asked.

" _Wait for your signal, after its done change the plates in the multi-story third floor."_ She said with a nod.

" _It has to be the third floor, it's the only one with no cameras, otherwise they will be able to track us. You will need to stay there a while too, so they don't figure out it's the same van."_ The man said.

" _I know I got it."_ She assured.

" _Did Donnie say anything?"_ She asked.

" _Just to make her suffer."_ He replied with a grin.

" _Won't be a problem."_ She replied matching his grin.

* * *

 **AN:** So…. Who knew it? That Donnie was the killer, about JJ's Mom? I know some of you did but did you all. Do you think JJ's theory on the unsub is right? Who do you think this new lady is? What do you think about JJ's Grandma and what she said, would you like to see some flashbacks of them?

Let me know what you thought of the chapter, likes dislikes anything you would like to see.


	10. Chapter Ten: You're my Prince

**AN:** Hey guys, thanks again for all the reviews and to everybody reading and liking/favouring the story, I hope you enjoy this next update, this chapter will be very Jemily based and be a bit more fluffy and possibly even cheesy than previous chapters to some extent. There's been a lot of angst for poor JJ recently I think we all need some fluffy Jemily cuddles. Hope you all enjoy.

 **Elphiemolizbethbau:** Thanks for your review, haha they always made me laugh, yes they are rather horrid to but it nicely aren't they. Hope you enjoy what's still to come.

 **102000QP:** Thanks for your review, I'm glad you liked the chapter, there are some flashbacks of JJ and Grandma I already have planned out, but I am going to try and fill in a few more where possible. Hope you enjoy this latest chapter.

 **MyCriminaIMind:** Thanks for your review, I'm glad you are enjoying and hope you continue to do so. Thank you for your comments again on my writing, don't worry about not knowing, I have a lot mostly all of this story planned out in my head I was just wondering if there are anything's that you guys would like me to try and fill in where they may be a few spaces, that you might like to see in the story. Hope you like this next update.

 **USCutie15:** Thanks for your review and comments on my writing. Glad you enjoyed the last chapter, I hope you like this one too! There a nice Jemily moment or two in here. As for our unsub/unsubs well you will have to wait and see, won't be long though till things start to come to a head. Let me know what you think.

 **Kensi1997:** Thanks for your review and comments on my writing, glad you are enjoying the flashbacks, there will still be more to come don't worry. I hope you enjoy this next chapter.

 **AN:** So on with the chapter we go, please let me know what you think.

 **WARNINGS:** **Mentions of drugs and hints of abuse in this chapter.**

* * *

 **Chapter Ten: You're my Prince.**

A Phone vibrating on the bedside table brought Emily out of the slight slumber she had fallen into.

After their earlier conversation Emily had texted Hotch to let him know she was taking JJ back to the hotel and would be back when the blonde had fallen asleep as she was exhausted.

Hotch had replied telling Emily to stay with her, he would call her if he need her, which Emily was grateful for. She didn't want to leave JJ, but she knew they had a job to do and they have to still be professional.

Upon returning to JJ's hotel room the two of them had settled on the bed together with Emily resting against the headboard and JJ laying curled up next to her, her head resting on Emily's chest as they watched a movie quietly on the TV in the room giving both of them peace to let their minds go over all that had happened so far through the day.

JJ's exhausted muscles finally began to relax as Emily had been gently running her fingers through her hair and up and down her back eventually lulling the blonde into a much needed deep slumber.

Emily had soon followed suit, the low hum of the TV and the warmth from JJ's body pressed against her making her realise how tired she was.

Before giving in and allowing sleep to come she had sent a quick text message to Morgan asking him and Reid to help her with a few things, a plan she had set in action in her mind while watching JJ sleep.

The phone on the table vibrated again, this time for longer signalling a call rather than a text message, sighing Emily reached towards the bedside table gently not wanting to wake the blonde and picked up the phone.

Looking at the caller ID she saw it was Hotch calling, so quickly pressed the answer call button before placing the phone to her ear.

" _Hi Hotch."_ She said in greeting, quietly, not wanting to wake JJ.

" _I just wanted to give you the heads up that Morgan and Reid now know about the situation. I filled them in on what's going on. Not everything, just the basics. They know not to pry, they understand what they need to for the case. The rest is for JJ to tell when she's ready."_ Hotch said.

That made sense Emily thought, Morgan had given in very easily to her requests by text message earlier, no teasing, no mention jokingly of her owing him a drink later.

" _Thanks Hotch."_ Emily said with a relieved sigh.

" _I'm sure Jen will appreciate that."_ Emily continued, thanking him on JJ's behalf.

Telling herself, Hotch and Gideon had been hard on the blonde, she didn't want her having to have the conversation again until JJ was ready to do so.

" _We got a bit of information from Garcia, about the trail. It seems that Charles Tyln and Donald Collins, the killer, may have known each other at the time of the murder. That's one of the reasons it went to retrial, there was thought that Donald had cohered Charles into confessing for the murder. There was enough doubt to call the retrial, but no evidence to fully support the claim until as JJ said, Donal got rattled on the stand"_ Hotch explained.

" _He's her step-brother you know?"_ Emily asked, partially stating the fact.

" _Yeah, we figured as much. Do you think she would know if the claims were true?"_ Hotch asked.

" _I dunno. She hasn't said anything to indicate that. I don't really want to push her too much Hotch."_ Emily said concern in her voice.

She knew for the case it would be useful information to have, but she wouldn't do that to JJ, screw being professional.

" _There is another way."_ Hotch started.

" _We interview Donald Collins."_ Hotch suggested.

Emily nodded to herself a sigh leaving her body, her one arm unconsciously pulling a sleeping JJ a little closer to herself, as though to protect her.

" _I wanted to ring you first, before I make any arrangements. From the information Garcia has on the retrial it seems he has a strong hatred of women. I think this interview will go better with it being me and you there."_ Hotch explained.

Emily's hand that had been stroking the blonde's hair while she listened to Hotch paused.

She knew Hotch was right, the two of them together would get more results if there was truth to the claim, but could she do this professionally?

Hell could she do it all, would JJ even want her too?

" _I want you to know this isn't an order, I won't think any less of you if you say no to this. This is going to be personal for all of us, but I understand if this is something you can't do."_ Hotch assured her after receiving no answer.

" _I want to do it."_ Emily answered making up her mind.

" _I want to look into his eyes when I tell him what I think of him."_ She continued.

" _Don't worry Hotch. I will be professional about this, but there's one thing I need him to know."_ Emily finished.

" _Okay."_ Hotch agreed.

" _I'll arrange it for tomorrow morning"_ He said finalising the arrangements between the two of them.

" _I understand you have plans tonight. If you need any help let me know."_ Hotch said his tone of voice changing from business to a more friendly natured tone.

" _Thanks Hotch, will do."_ Emily said with a smile before hanging up the phone.

She looked down to the blonde asleep next to her and dropped a gentle kiss to her forehead, before turning her attention back to her phone.

She opened a text message from Morgan that read – 'All sorted, let me know what you are ready, Derek.'

Smiling Emily began typing out her reply with one hand, the other hand drawing patterns on JJ's back as she slept.

 **Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

 _ **10 years ago.**_

Mrs Jareau couldn't believe this was happening, how she had not seen the signs she did not know.

You read and hear about it all the time, things to look out for.

Things to pay attention to.

How had it got so far without her even realising?

She knew that she hadn't been here enough, she should have been here more.

Especially after Rosaline.

That should have been the first warning sign.

Right now was sat in a small chair hunched over a hospital bed her hand holding tightly onto her fourteen year old Granddaughter Jennifer Collin's hand.

The girl was small for her age and far too thin, the white hospital sheets making her look even more frail than she already was.

She was hooked up to Machines that were beeping at a slow pace showing that her heart rate was steady.

Her face was badly bruised, she had a cut lip too.

Her one hand was in a cast, Mrs Jareau had been told she had broken it from the landing after the car had hit her.

She wouldn't have known her Granddaughter had even been hit if it wasn't for the small towns Sheriff Stan Mosley calling her to tell her what had happened.

Mrs Jareau had moved a few towns over about five years ago, being in the town where she lost her husband had been too hard for her especially after Sandra's death, there were too many memories.

She moved to live with her son Richard Jareau, Sandra's older brother, and his family.

She had come back to visit as much as possible but she had no idea of what had been going on, she still didn't now.

They hadn't been able to ask Jennifer yet, only theorise, as the blonde was still asleep.

If it hadn't been for Sheriff Mosley making the snap decision to break protocol and call her rather than Jennifer's father or half-brother she probably would still know nothing now.

Sheriff Mosley had been the one who accidently hit Jennifer as the she had ran into the middle of the road right in front of him.

He had decided to call Mrs Jareau back to the small town upon seeing the state that the fourteen year old had been in after he hit her.

She had no shoes on, her feet were bleeding, how long she had been running he had no idea.

She had been bleeding badly from her back, the blood had soaked through her clothes.

She seemed very out of it when he had approached her to see if she was seriously injured from the collision, he had been sure that she was on some sort of drug.

She had been barely conscious when he had waited with her for the Ambulance to take her to the hospital but she had been mumbling things.

Things that worried him, that made no sense, but at the same time made perfect sense for the condition that he had found her in.

He had told Mrs Jareau, Susan as she always insisted he call her, everything when she had arrived no more than an hour after the incident.

He was sure she must have broken all the speed limits getting here but he decided now was not the time to comment on that.

So now he was stood behind the chair that Susan Jareau was sat on, both of them waiting patiently for the fourteen year old to wake up.

The doctor and nurses had seen to Jennifer's injuries and set up a drip to get some fluids into her body to help wash out what ever drug she may have been on.

" _Jennifer, open your eyes sweetheart."_ Susan said gently to the girl after hearing her moan and seeing her head move from side to side, she was waking up.

" _Come on Jenny, show me those lovely blue eyes of yours."_ She continued her hold on the girls hand growing a little tighter as Jennifer's eyelids began to slowly flutter open.

" _Grandma?"_ Jennifer croaked confused.

" _I'm here darling. How are you feeling? Are you in pain?"_ Susan quickly assured then asked her granddaughter.

" _I'm okay."_ Jennifer replied weakly, she didn't want to worry her Grandma.

" _Do you remember what happened?"_ Susan asked gently.

She watched as Jennifer nodded, her eyes meeting her own for a second before glancing behind her to where Sheriff Mosley was stood then moving back to stare down at the bedsheet.

Susan Jareau could have sworn she saw fear in Jennifer's face, just for a second, before her face became blank, devoid of emotion.

It seemed to her like this was something that was far too well rehearsed, practiced.

It made her worry how many times she may have missed it before.

" _It's okay you're not in trouble."_ She quickly assured her granddaughter, whose eyes looked up for second to meet her own before looking back down again.

" _If you are feeling up to it we do need to talk though. About what you said to Sheriff Mosley. About Donnie."_ Susan said watching closely for Jennifer's reaction.

She became worried as the machines Jennifer was hooked up to began to beep quicker indicating that her heart rate had increased.

Looking from the machines back to her Granddaughter she could see that Jennifer was struggling to breathe while shaking her head, her eyes closed tight.

Susan Jareau could now see nothing but fear on the blondes face.

 **Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

 _ **Present Day.**_

A knock on the door brought JJ out of her musings as she was sat on the bed listening to music on a channel on the TV.

" _Did you forget the keys again Em?"_ She called out towards the door smiling to herself as she got up off the bed and started walking up to the door.

Emily had left twenty minutes prior telling JJ she was going to get them both some food.

In the time that she had been gone JJ had taken a quick shower and had changed into more comfortable clothes of jeans and a long sleeved blue top.

" _Hey Bullseye."_ Morgan said in greeting with a smile when JJ opened the door.

'Bullseye' was his own personal nickname for JJ that came about after she had beaten him at darts the fifth time in a row one night.

" _Morgan! Hi."_ JJ said in surprise, she hadn't expected it to be him.

Morgan chuckled at her shocked look, he was glad Emily had let him be involved in this.

" _You might wanna put some shoes and a sweater on."_ Morgan said noticing the blonde's attire.

" _Why?"_ JJ asked confused.

"I'm taking you out somewhere." He replied with a smile.

" _I was waiting for Emily, she went to get us some food."_ JJ said still confused.

" _I know."_ Morgan said.

" _She sent me to get you."_ He finished.

He laughed to himself as JJ's mouth formed an 'o' shape before she disappeared into the room.

She returned a few moments later wearing a pair of converses that had been well used and a knitted cream sweater that looked expensive, causing Morgan to raise an eyebrow in her direction.

" _Isn't that Prentiss's sweater?"_ He asked, he could have sworn he had seen her wear it before.

" _Shut up."_ JJ said closing the door to her hotel room and locking it.

Morgan laughed again before holding his arm out to JJ.

After learning what had happened to JJ on this Island to say he was worried would be an understatement, but he knew JJ and he knew she would hate it if he treated her differently to normal.

In his own mind he thought that may have been why she had never told anybody.

" _May I escort the lady to the owner of that lovely sweater?"_ He asked with smile.

JJ let out a small laugh before linking her arm with Morgan's as the two of them began walking.

" _Such a gentleman."_ JJ joked with a smile.

" _I try."_ Morgan replied with a smile as the two of them walked up to a door, leading to a flight of stairs, walking past the lift.

" _Where are we going anyway?"_ JJ inquired as Morgan opened the door with his free hand letting JJ go in first before following her.

He placed his hand on her back gently guiding her to start walking up the steps.

JJ threw a confused look over her shoulder, Morgan said they were going out, yet he was leading up higher in the hotel.

" _It's a surprise. You'll soon find out don't you worry."_ He replied mysteriously.

" _I'm not a big fan of surprises."_ JJ admitted.

In truth she hated them, she had rarely found herself enjoying the surprises that life through at her, they made her nervous.

" _You'll like this one."_ Morgan promised her.

They both came to a stop at the end of the staircase, a door was at the end of the small corridor.

The door was already slightly open due an extension cord, which was plugged in a socket near the door, leading through it on to the flat roof of the hotel.

" _She's waiting for you."_ Morgan said indicating to the door.

" _On the roof? Why?"_ JJ asked.

Shaking his head Morgan smiled at his friend, she really didn't like not knowing what was happening.

" _You really hate surprises don't you?"_ He asked.

" _Can you blame me, with everything we see?"_ She replied.

Morgan nodded in agreement.

" _Fair point. It's just Prentiss out there though, how bad could it be?"_ He shot back at her with a smile before gently steering her again in the direction of the door and turning to leave.

Morgan knew Emily as well as JJ, he had known her longer that was sure.

He knew as well as she did that even though she acted as tough as nails, really she was a giant teddy bear at heart.

Unless someone she cared about had been hurt, then she was scary as hell.

" _See you later bullseye."_ Morgan said descending down the stairs as JJ walked up to the door.

Opening the door further JJ stepped out on to the roof before pulling the door back into place behind her.

Her eyes strained trying to see, still adjusting to the different light now that she was outside.

Following the extension cord on the floor to the left side of the roof top JJ could begin to see the outline of a figure of similar build to Emily.

" _Em?"_ She called, checking it was her girlfriend, while slowly making her way over to the figure.

" _Come here Jay."_ Emily called back as she plugged a cord into the last remaining socket on a two plug extension lead causing the roof to light up instantly in colour full lights.

Turning her head towards her Emily could see JJ was stood on the spot looking around in amazement.

Smiling Emily got up from the floor where she had leant down to plug in the socket and made her way over to her girlfriend.

" _I take it you like it?"_ Emily said chuckling as she stopped in front of JJ and gently looped her arms loosely around her waist.

" _I…It's beautiful."_ JJ said lost for words, looking around she could see lots of different coloured fairy lights hung up around them.

On the floor there was a blanket laid down with some pillows on it as well.

A small table was set up to the side with a CD player on it, classical music was softly playing from it.

Behind that was a larger table with some bowls filled with different foods on such as melted chocolate, strawberries, cake, sandwiches and a few other light snacks.

At the back of the table with the different foods on were wine glasses, two already filled and a wine cooler behind that with a bottle in it.

It was simple, but beautiful.

" _Just like you."_ Emily said kissing JJ softly, drawing her attention back on herself.

Emily laughed again.

" _Just so you know, you look adorable in my sweater."_ She said noticing what JJ was wearing.

JJ laughed too, shaking her head, a blush appearing on her cheeks.

" _Totally adorable, I'm going to have to leave more of my clothes around for you to wear."_ Emily said before kissing JJ again.

She smiled to the blonde before un-looping her arms from around her waist, taking her hand, and leading her over to the blankets and pillows on the floor.

" _How did you even manage to do this in the twenty minutes you were gone? Wait are we even allowed to be up here?"_ JJ asked looking around as she followed Emily.

" _I can be very persuasive."_ Emily said in response with a light chuckle.

" _I may have also had some help."_ She finished before sitting down the blanket and patting the spot next to her indicating for JJ to do the same.

JJ laughed as she sat next to her girlfriend, Emily was right she can be very persuasive.

" _Remind me to smack Morgan later, he could have given me some warning."_ JJ said with a smile causing Emily to laugh next to her.

JJ sighed in content as Emily pulled them both down so they were laying on their backs looking up at the sky.

Emily's arm was around the back of JJ's neck her fingers tracing gentle patterns up and down her arm, her head resting on one of the pillows next to JJ's.

" _Well, you'll need to smack Reid and Hotch too. They helped as well."_ Emily said after a moment's thought.

" _I think you just changed my opinion on surprises."_ JJ said in a whisper.

"Good." Emily said turning her head to face JJ's and placing a kiss to her cheek.

" _I wanted to do something to take your mind off of everything."_ She said gently, as JJ turned her head towards her looking into her eyes.

" _I remember you told me once that when you felt overwhelmed you would look up at the stars and you would feel completely at peace. I think we both need that right now, what do you think?"_ Emily asked.

" _I think this is perfect."_ JJ said threading her hand with Emily's that was tracing patterns on her arm and bringing their hands up to her mouth placing a kiss on her girlfriend's hand.

" _I think you're perfect."_ JJ said leaning in to kiss Emily, as she brought their joined hands down to rest above her chest.

" _So are you."_ Emily replied after they broke apart.

They both turned their heads to look up at the stars in the sky, Emily's thumb gently stroking the hand that held her own.

" _When I was little I would look up at the stars and always look for the prince. I know it's technically a knight, but I always called it the prince. I would imagine that one day he would jump out of the sky and come to find me."_ JJ said.

"You did huh?" Emily said turning to face JJ, listening intently.

" _I never really believed in fairy tales, not after everything that happened anyway. But looking at the stars and seeing the prince always made me feel better."_ JJ continued staring up at the stars, she had noticed Emily watching her.

" _How about now? Does it make you feel better now?"_ Emily asked gently.

JJ didn't answer for a moment, she continued looking at the stars up in the sky as Emily continued watching her.

" _I don't need to look for the prince anymore, not in the sky anyway."_ JJ said turning her head to look into Emily's eyes.

" _I found my prince, it's you Em. I never imagined it would happen. But when I'm with you I feel…I feel like a princess."_ JJ said with a tearful smile.

" _You are a princess Jennifer Jareau, and I'm honoured that you choose me to be your prince."_ Emily said leaning down to kiss her girlfriend, the classical music still softly playing in the background.

* * *

 **AN:** Don't worry guys there is more of that flashback from 10 years ago to come soon, watch out for it it's going to be important!

Please don't forget to let me know what you think, and if there's anything you would like to me try and add if I can.


	11. Chapter Eleven: Smarty-Pants

**AN:** Hey every one! Thank once again to everybody who is reading and reviewing as well as liking and favouring I love you all and really appreciate the time you take to do so, please keep continuing to do so.

 **102000QP:** Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed, I thought it was high time for a bit of fluff and humor for our poor girls and believe they are going to need it for what is to come, hope you enjoy the next chapter.

 **USCutie15:** Thank you, I wanted our girls to have some time to themselves away from all the craziness, JJ will open up to Emily in time don't you worry, hope you enjoy this chapter.

 **Elphiemolizbethbau:** Thank you so much, I'm glad you enjoyed it. Gosh I can see what you mean with it reminding you I didn't even realise, I promise that was not on purpose, but I am so happy that you thought I did it well. Hope this next update helps to qualm the anticipation.

 **MyCriminaIMind:** Thank you, she is great isn't she, JJ is really going to need her for what's to come, Hope you enjoy this update.

 **Kensi1997:** Aha I know, I did warn you all it was going to be cheesy! Hehe, you will see why it was needed soon enough. Hope you enjoy this update.

 **Letirreis:** Thank you so much for reading and for your review, I'm really happy to hear you are enjoying my story. JJ's been through a lot in this story and unfortunately there is more to come yet, but don't worry she has found her prince now, and we all know Emily will stop at nothing to protect her. Hope you continue to do so enjoy this next update

 **AN:** Please let me know what you think of this next chapter, there is going to be more information on the case, as well as some strong JJ and Reid friendship, which will need to be stronger still for what is to come. Don't forget to review!

* * *

 **Chapter Eleven: Smarty-Pants**

Emily smiled as she leaned back in the leather seat of the black SUV.

She knew there was nothing to smile about with where she was going, who she was going to interview.

She just couldn't help it.

Earlier, before herself, Hotch, Morgan and Gideon had left Tybee Island to go to Savannah to carry about the interviews the two teams of two had set off to undertake JJ had almost told her that she loved her too.

Almost.

JJ had changed what she was saying at the last minute and told Emily that she would miss her.

But Emily had heard it, the underlying meaning of what she said.

The slight stutter to her voice as said she 'I' to be begin with rather than 'I'll'.

That's what brought a smile to her face as herself and Hotch were driving to Savannah prison.

She was smiling because in the middle of all this darkness, all the stress, all the pain and hurt she was making a difference.

JJ was beginning to feel comfortable with her and within their relationship.

JJ was learning it was okay to be loved and to love back.

They were making progress.

" _Prentiss!"_ Hotch's loud voice startled Emily out of her thoughts.

Emily shook her head clearing her thoughts, before turning to face Hotch.

It was then that she noticed the car had stopped moving.

They were parked outside of Savannah Prison.

" _I take it last night was good?"_ Hotch asked noticing Emily's still faraway look coupled with the fact she had not even realised they had arrived.

" _Like a fairy-tale."_ She replied absentmindedly thinking back on the night.

She coughed afterwards before unbuckling her seat belt, embarrassed.

She hadn't meant to say that.

Hotch for his credit didn't mention it, but Emily could have sworn she saw a slight smirk on his face.

" _You ready for this?"_ He asked addressing the interview they were about to conduct.

Emily nodded, yeah she was ready.

" _You go ahead, I'll be right behind you."_ Emily said as Hotch opened the driver's side door of the SUV, before passing Emily the keys.

As Hotch stepped out of the SUV and closed the driver's door Emily reached into her back pocket and took her phone out.

Quickly she wrote out a small text message to her girlfriend, JJ had asked her to let her know when they got there and when they were leaving too.

Afterwards Emily opened the door to the passenger side of the SUV and climbed out while placing her phone back in her back pocket.

She closed the door to the SUV and began walking to catch up to Hotch, clicking the lock button on the keys to the SUV while she walked.

 **Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

Meanwhile at the police station at Tybee Island JJ and Reid were in the office they had set up for their time working on the case.

Currently Reid was in front of a whiteboard, while JJ was sat on a small sofa in the room reading through the file of information they had on the most recent victim.

Garcia had managed to find very little information on Charles Tyln after he was released from prison so far.

He had been released to the care of his sister Charlotte Tyln who was two years older than him.

The release conditions stated he stayed with her until the successful completion of a psyche evaluation, which had taken him nine months to clear.

Shortly after that he had begun draining what little money he had in his savings account before seemingly disappearing.

He had no current address, the last known one was his sisters.

No mobile phone record.

No credit card.

No bank accounts after he closed his savings account.

No paper trial what so ever.

It was as though he had vanished.

While flying over to meet the team Garcia was currently working on making a likeness image of what he should now look like after aging almost 10 years since his release from prison.

JJ and Reid had spent the morning mapping out where all the victims had been last seen before going missing.

The latest victim had been the hardest to pin point, which is why it had taken them so long to complete the task.

Feeling her phone vibrate in her pocket JJ placed the file she was reading down on the sofa and took out her phone.

Looking down at it she noticed she had one new text message from Emily.

The message said – 'Just got here. Just so you know, I love you more x0x0x0.'

" _Hey Spence?"_ JJ said smiling down at her phone.

That was message was just so Emily.

She had been silly to think that Emily wouldn't have noticed what she almost said this morning.

" _Hmmm?"_ Reid said in response still concentrating on the board.

" _You're smart right?"_ JJ continued.

" _Arguably a genius."_ Reid said in response.

" _What do you think of the notion of soulmates?"_ JJ inquired, remembering a story her Mother had once told her before she had died.

" _The original concept of the soulmate or other half as it was originally called comes from the writings of Plato. In Symposium, Aristophanes tells Socrates that human beings used to have four arms, four legs, and two faces, and they were happy and complete. But Zeus was jealous and split them in two with his thunderbolt, and now humans spend their lives searching for their other half. It wasn't until the 1820's that the specific term soulmate was first used. Poet Samuel Taylor Coleridge wrote a love letter containing the term, from then going into the 20_ _th_ _century the romantic notion of the term skyrocketed."_ Reid declared as though reading from a book while still looking at the board.

" _Why do you ask?"_ He said turning to face JJ.

" _I dunno, it's just there was this story my Mom told me when I was little, been thinking about it a lot lately."_ JJ responded seemingly lost in her own thoughts.

" _I always find myself guided more so by facts and figures rather than feelings and notions. I prefer to find the truth in things. I really can't say much about the notion of the soulmate as there is no evidence to support its merit other than people's beliefs which sometimes aren't entirely truthful."_ Reid said honestly.

" _But from what I do understand of the notion and from what I can see, you and Emily fit together really well. It's as though you are both in sync with each other's thoughts and feelings. You bring out the best in each other."_ He finished with a small smile before turning back to the board, after JJ smiled back at him.

" _Thanks Spence."_ She said quietly, he nodded in response.

" _How's it going?"_ She asked after a few moments, getting up from the sofa and moving to stand next to Reid in front of the board.

" _Looking at the information Garcia has been able to find on each of the victims last days before they were reported missing, they all seem to have been last seen in Savannah around this area."_ Reid said, drawing a circle in red on the map when he said 'this area'.

" _All apart from the first victim, she went missing from the church here on the Island."_ JJ reminded him.

" _Right."_ Reid replied.

" _She's different to the others."_ Reid continued.

" _From what we know, if Charles is our unsub, it's possible he himself hadn't even planned on killing her at first."_ He finished.

" _So you think she was just in the wrong place at the wrong time?"_ JJ asked.

" _Or to him the right place at the right time. Let's think about this. He's been out of prison for a year, it's the anniversary of the date he lost his claim to the murder he was proud of. What do you do when you mourn the loss of something or someone?"_ Reid theorised, throwing a worried glance in JJ's direction upon mentioning the anniversary of her Mother's death.

" _You go somewhere that reminds you of them, or what you lost."_ JJ said following his train of thought, not noticing his glance.

" _In this case the location of the murder he lost claim to, where my Mom died."_ JJ continued.

" _Right, our victim is there too, he notices her, and he notices the similarities. He overhears the town's people talking about her, about the baby she is carrying."_ Reid said, remember the missing person's report.

How the victims employer had said she thought the victim had left town at first.

That she thought the town's people's gossiping had gotten too much for her.

" _In his head she replaces what he had lost, she becomes his new trophy. Before he hadn't killed though, only fantasied about it, claimed glory from it in his mind."_ He finished.

" _He gets off on it."_ JJ says sickened.

" _A year goes by and he feels the need to kill again. Only this time the kill alone, the similarities to the kill he lost, it isn't enough. Something in that year changed him, not just the kill."_ Reid said.

" _Something in this area."_ He finished pointing to the circle on the map.

" _Hopefully Morgan and Gideon can find something useful from speaking to his sister. We really need a break in this case, there's not much time left."_ JJ said with a worried sigh.

" _We already got a break with what you told us, until yesterday we didn't even have a potential suspect. Now we just need to connect what's missing and find him."_ Reid said causing JJ to nod as they both looked at the board.

 **Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

Meanwhile back in Savannah, Morgan and Gideon were sat outside a small bungalow in the suburbs.

The bungalow seemed well kept, there was a blue VW beetle parked on the driveway.

Getting out the SUV and closing the doors behind them they made there way up the stepping stone path that lead through a colour garden to the house.

Arriving at a wooden door Gideon knocked before taking a step back next to Morgan as the door opened revealing a woman in her mid-thirties with light brown shoulder length hair, she looked at the agents confused.

" _Can I help you?"_ She asked.

" _Are you Charlotte Tyln?"_ Gideon asked, watching as the woman nodded.

" _I'm SSA Derek Morgan this is SSA Jason Gideon, we're with the FBI."_ Morgan said introducing both himself and Gideon as they both showed Charlotte their FBI ID's.

" _Ma'am we need to talk to you about your brother, Charles."_ Morgan continued.

 **xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

Later on in the afternoon at the station on Tybee Island Reid was in the office alone talking to Garcia over a computer system, who had just called, while JJ was talking to some of the officers in the station.

Currently JJ was asking the officers to station themselves by the dock to monitor who was coming and going from the island.

They needed to close down imports for the time being as they believed that the unsub was using the fact the security was known to be lax to his advantage.

Only police approved imports were to be allowed to and from the island, any vehicles coming and going from the island were to be stopped and thoroughly checked.

It was going to be essential to stopping and catching the killer, at the moment it was far too easy for him to elude the police.

" _How's she doing today?"_ Garcia asked, concern could be seen on her face on the computer, in the background you could see she was the jet.

" _Okay, considering. Better after last night I think."_ Reid replied still working away on the board from earlier.

" _How far away are you?"_ Reid asked changing the topic of conversation after he looked through the office window to see JJ making her way back.

" _About twenty minutes away, I think. Hey Jayj!"_ Garcia replied before greeting JJ who she saw just walked into the room.

JJ looked around confused, Garcia hadn't arrived yet had she, looking to the table she noticed her face on the computer screen.

" _Hey Pen, are you arriving soon?"_ JJ asked with a smile as she sat in a chair in front of the computer, just in front of where Reid was stood looking at the whiteboard, his back to them both.

" _Landing in twenty, should be with you pretties within the hour."_ Garcia replied happily, she hated flying on the jet as much as JJ, but not for the same reason, she just wasn't great with heights.

" _Actually, it might take you a little longer."_ Reid said from behind JJ, still facing the board.

" _What? Why? I thought you said there was a car waiting for me?"_ Garcia asked confused.

" _Well there was, until Morgan decided to borrow your car to go to Charlotte Tyln's house."_ JJ said her head resting on her one hand while she leaned her elbow on the table.

" _Well he can just bring it back right now!"_ Garcia said, she looked annoyed.

" _He can't just leave in the middle of an interview Garcia."_ Reid said matter of factually.

" _Well, can't you two come and get me?"_ Garcia asked after a thought.

She had been on a jet for hours, she did not want to waiting around for hours again for Morgan to come and pick her up.

JJ leaned back on her chair turning in it to face where Reid was standing behind her who had now turned away from the board to face the computer screen and JJ.

" _It won't take you long, and then I can help you with that board you have up there. You know a fresh pair of eyes and all that?"_ Garcia said sweetly trying to convince them.

JJ raised an eyebrow back towards the computer screen, distract them more like, she thought to herself.

" _Oh come on! Please?"_ Garcia said after getting no response.

" _I really wouldn't mind getting off of this island, even if it is only for twenty minutes or so."_ JJ said caving but at the same time being completely truthful.

" _Okay fine."_ Reid said caving as well as the two blondes looked at him.

" _But if I'm not finished when they all get back, you're both to blame."_ He said half-jokingly half seriously to the two blondes in front of him.

" _Don't worry smarty-pants."_ Garcia said smiling in victory.

" _Stop calling me smarty pants!"_ Reid insisted, walking towards the office door, causing Garcia to chuckle, while JJ watched amused.

" _See you soon Pen."_ JJ said getting up to leave.

" _Right back at 'ya Gumdrop. P.G out."_ Garcia replied before the computer screen went blank as JJ left the office following after Reid.

 **Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

Meanwhile at Savannah Prison Hotch and Emily had not been getting very far with their interview with thirty-six year old Donald 'Donnie' Collins.

Hotch had decided, that the two of them being in the interview room was wasting time, he had now gone to search Donnie's cell, leaving Emily alone with him.

Hotch knew if anyone was going to get something out of him it was Emily, not only was she a brilliant profiler, she was also brilliant at reading people, at noticing little changes in their behaviour.

She was also on woman.

Hotch knew what Donnie's thoughts on women were, they all did.

Being left alone in the room with Emily, even if he was cuffed to the table, would make him feel powerful.

Make him cocky.

Hopefully it would make him slip up.

They knew he was lying about not knowing Charles Tyln, they knew that from the first time they asked him, now they just needed to make him talk.

" _You know I had a girlfriend that looked a lot like you once."_ Donnie said, a smirk on his lips.

" _Did you tell her a load of lies as well?"_ Emily responded, unimpressed.

" _I'm not a lair."_ Donnie insisted.

" _Okay."_ Emily said with a nod.

" _So tell me how you know Charles Tyln."_ She asked.

" _I don't."_ Donnie said.

" _Yet you told me you're not a liar."_ Emily countered, leaning back in her chair.

" _Myself and Agent Hotchner told you earlier we were FBI. Let me tell you what we failed to mention."_ Emily started.

" _We are a part of the Behavioural Analysis Unit, meaning we interview scumbags like you all the time. We study human behaviour, specifically the behaviour of killers."_ She continued watching his reaction.

" _You're behaviour, is not that special I'm sorry to tell you. In fact pretty common. Your left eye twitches every time I say the name Charles. That tells me you know him, your body is reacting to the name even if you yourself won't."_ She said further.

" _But, you already knew all of what I just told you, you knew exactly who I was when I walked through that door. And I'm certain you know exactly why I'm here."_ She finished crossing her arms in front of her chest.

" _Do you want to play a game Agent Prentiss?"_ Donnie asked with a smirk after a silence had fallen on the room.

" _Jenny used to love playing my games, even if she did always loose."_ He continued a grin appearing on his face as he saw Emily's eyes narrow.

" _Tell me, how is my little sister? Does she still cry out in the middle of the night for her Mommy?"_ He asked, watching as Emily's eyes narrowed further, he was pressing her buttons.

" _Does she still whimper like a baby in the dark?"_ He mocked.

" _Shut your mouth!"_ Emily growled out quietly through clenched teeth.

She was angry, no scratch that, she was livid.

She refused to let him talk about her girlfriend like this after what he had put her through.

" _We are not here to talk about Jennifer, we are here to talk about Charles. And you, will answer my questions."_ Emily said calmly as she stood and began to walk to the door.

" _But while we are on the subject."_ Emily said turning back to look at the back of the man who had caused her JJ so much pain.

She leant an arm on either side of the table next to where Donnie was sat and leaned in so her face so right next to his left ear.

" _As far as I'm concerned the only person who is a disgusting. Devil. Child, is you."_ She finished before standing up straight and leaving the room.

 **Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

JJ groaned as she heard her phone ringing somewhere near her.

Her head hurt and the noise from her phone was not helping.

She felt as though she was dangling, she could feel something hard and cold against her head.

She could have sworn her arms were hanging the wrong way.

Trying to move her hands, was taking much more effort than it should have done.

She could feel something wet on her head, something sticky.

She could feel the SUV seatbelt tightly across her chest and shoulder holding her in place.

Her ears were ringing, but she could swear she could hear someone talking over the noise of her phone.

She tried hard to concentrate on the voice and what it was saying.

" _Jayje? Jayje? Are you awake? Don't panic okay, someone is here. They are going to help us."_ She heard Reid say to the side of her, his voice sounded strained, almost pained.

Why they needed help, she didn't know?

Her mind was jumbled.

" _Spence? What happened?"_ She croaked confused.

She tried to open her eyes, but found the light so bright that it hurt her head causing her to close eyes again.

Reid was saying something again but she didn't hear it.

" _My heard hurts."_ She groaned in pain.

" _You hit it pretty hard when we rolled."_ Reid replied next to her, his voice sounded weak but she could still hear his worried tone.

JJ gasped as her memory came flooding back.

They had been driving to the docks, to take the ferry to pick up Garcia, when a van had appeared out of nowhere and smacked into the side of their SUV causing it to spin off the side of the road and roll down into a large ditch.

" _Are you okay?"_ She asked concerned, trying to blink open her eyes again.

" _Think I might have broken a rib."_ He replied.

" _Or two."_ He continued.

" _It hurts when I take deep breaths."_ He finished.

JJ tried opening her eyes again, this time successfully just in time to see Reid's door being pulled open.

Reid began to greet whoever was there before suddenly a loud smack was heard.

JJ's breath caught in her throat as Reid's head fell to the side, unconscious, before he was ripped out the SUV forcefully by black gloved arms.

" _Stop you'll hurt him!"_ She yelled frantically, something was wrong.

" _Spence? Spence!"_ She yelled even though it hurt her head.

Something was very wrong.

She heard someone shush her through the open window next to her and turned her head slowly towards the voice as she felt something prick her arm.

" _Sara?"_ She asked in recognition, her eyes wide as she looked from the face of the person to the needle stuck in her arm.

" _What are you"-_

Her voice cut off as darkness overtook her, her body succumbing to sleep.

* * *

 **AN:** dun dun dun, well I know im a big meanie for leaving it here like this but, you will get another update on Sunday I promise.

Don't forget to let me know what you think!


	12. Chapter Twelve: All In

**AN:** Hey guys here is your Sunday update as promised theres not a lot of the team in this one but there is plenty of them to come soon. I have changed the rating for this story to 'M' now this chapter is an absoulute 'M' and some of the ones before were a 'T' is not an 'M'.

Thank you again to everybody who is reading and reviewing I love to hear from you all.

 **USCutie15:** Thanks for your review, stick around and you'll see Sara is a strange one but a big part of this story, hope you enjoy.

 **Elphiemolizbethbau:** Thanks for your review, I'm glad haha, looks like we both have similar things in our heads for writing at times. Your right this is really not good at all, and unfortunately its about to get worse. Hope you enjoy what's to come.

 **Letirreis:** Thank you so much for your review, I'm glad you are enjoying. You'll have to keep reading and find out, hope you enjoy the story to come!

 **MyCriminaIMind:** Thanks for your review, as promised here is your Sunday update. Haha that made me laugh I could imagine someone yelling at their screen, it was quiet foreshadowing wasn't it. Hope you enjoy the update, sorry it might still be a bit tense though.

 **Kensi1997:** Thanks for your review, those butterflies might be around for a couple for a couple of chapters to come yet, hope you enjoy the update.

 **102000QP:** Thanks for your review, Im glad you liked that, I felt it was important for Emily to be able to confront him on some of the things he said to JJ even if she doesn't know everything yet. Hope you enjoy todays update.

 **Rmpcmfan:** Thank you so much for all your reviews, Sara and JJ do know each other yes, your about to find out how. I'm glad you still with me for this story, let me know how you find this next chapter.

 **Additional AN:** **Hi guys just wanted to mention I have started a one shot series connected to this story, if you are enjoying this one you may want to check it out, it will be small snippets into how Emily and JJ meet, become friends and start dating, it will include some scenes mentioned but not shown in this story, let me know what you think of those ones up so far if you decide to read.**

 **AN:** Righty on with the chapter!

 **WARNINGS:** **Language, Violence, Mentions & Signs of Child Physical & Sexual Abuse/Molestation.**

* * *

 **Chapter twelve: All In.**

 _ **10 years ago.**_

14 year old Jennifer Collins was exhausted, that last round had taken a lot out of her, but she couldn't sleep.

It felt like she hadn't eaten properly in days which was making her feel weak.

She could feel the t-shirt she was wearing sticking to her back, stuck to the welts there that were no doubt still bleeding.

She wasn't even sure what she had really done to deserve that last round, well other than make Michael really angry.

That's all she seemed to be able to do at the moment.

Things had been bad between them before her Mom died.

They got worse after she died.

After Rosaline, they got really bad.

She didn't know what to do.

No matter how hard she tried she always ended up with the same result, in pain locked in that damn workshop.

She was so used to this happening now that it really shouldn't frighten her any more, but it did.

Every time she was shut in that room she felt the panic set in, the fear from what she couldn't see from the darkness.

The panic that the walls would crush her and she would never get out.

That was another part of the reason as to why she couldn't sleep at the moment, that feeling of breathlessness, of being trapped.

She knew she was going to be stuck in the room for hours, if not longer, she knew that she needed to sleep she just couldn't.

Fear makes the human body work on overdrive, she remembered learning in science, it was called the fight or flight response where your body would run on adrenaline.

Maybe that was why she couldn't sleep, too much adrenaline in her system.

" _Get up."_ She heard from the doorway, her mind was foggy she couldn't pin point who it was that had said that.

When the door had even opened she had no idea.

Turning her head towards the door, she slowly began to sit up from the floor she had been lying on wincing while doing so, her back was in a lot of pain, so was the rest of her.

" _I said get up!"_ The voice said louder this time as Jennifer felt a hand grab her arm roughly hauling her up from the floor causing her to be face to face with the person in the room with her, it was Donnie.

" _Do you need another lesson in how to behave in this house?"_ Donnie threated, his speech slurred a sickening smile on his face, he was drunk.

Jennifer shook her head as she tried to back away.

She did not need another lesson, especially when she was still feeling the effects of the last one.

" _Do as I say then."_ Donnie replied pulling hard on Jennifer's arm yanking her out of the room and through the garage back towards the house.

Part of her was relieved to be out of the workshop, another part of her was worried about what would happen and why she had been let out seemingly very early.

When that happened it was never good.

Walking through back into the house Jennifer could hear music and laughter, Donnie had his friends over, why he wanted her in the house to she had no idea.

They walked into the kitchen where four men Donnie's age of around 26 were sat around a table playing a card game, money could be seen in the middle of the table, beer bottles and cans were all over the kitchen.

Two women around Donnie's age were also in the room sat at the kitchen counter on stools, they had drinks in their hands as well.

" _Give her something to get her relax would ya?"_ Donnie said to one of the women as he pushed Jennifer into them, smacking her hard on the back in the process causing her to wince again in pain.

" _Like what?"_ The one woman said, she had short brown hair, her eyes were red rimmed, she was clearly drunk if not on something else as well.

" _You know what."_ Donnie replied taking a seat at the table with his friends and picking up his cards.

" _You outta of cash mate."_ One of the men around the table said.

" _Thought you might like to play for something else."_ Donnie replied.

" _What's that?"_ Another of the men asked looking at his hand.

Donnie raised an eyebrow at him and nodded his head in the direction where Jennifer was stood swaying on the spot looking down at her arm confused.

" _All in then."_ The man said.

" _All in."_ Donnie replied with a smile.

" _How do we know she's any good?"_ Another man asked watching as the brunette woman sat a crying and nervous Jennifer down on a stool next to her, forcefully.

" _Win and find out."_ Donnie replied not looking up from the cards in his hand.

Things felt like they were slow motion for Jennifer, she didn't understand what was happening around her.

The pain in her back was less now, but her head felt foggier, almost disconnected from the rest of her body.

What the hell did that woman give me? She thought to herself.

" _What…did, did, you…what was"_ Jennifer tried to ask, her speech slurring, she couldn't form a full sentence.

" _Chill out kid, just let it help you relax."_ The other woman said, a red head, who was sat next to the brunette woman.

Jennifer shook her head before pulling all her strength together to pull the brunettes arm that was pushing her down onto the stool off of her chest.

Her sudden movement caused both herself and the brunette to tumble to the floor, the brunettes drink spilling all down herself.

" _You stupid little shit. Damn it Donnie!"_ The Brunette yelled furiously shoving Jennifer away from herself as the blonde tried to scramble to her feet only to fall on the floor again due to the force of the shove.

Sighing Donnie stood from his chair and stalked over to the two girls on the floor and hauled Jennifer up to her feet by pulling on her hair.

" _Sit down and behave! Or do I need to take a belt to your ass again?"_ Donnie whispered threateningly into Jennifer's ear before shoving her down on the stool again smiling as the girl's eyes widened in fear, she really couldn't take anymore right now.

He leant over Jennifer to pick up a drink behind her, smiling as he felt her tense and shiver due to the close contact.

" _What? Did you like that? You're a little whore Jenny, just like your mother, I bet she loved it really. If you know what's good for you, you will too."_ Donnie said stroking a hand down Jennifer's face laughing to himself as she tried to pull away.

" _Maybe you need a practice run first hmmm?"_ He asked as he hauled Jennifer up from the stool again and pushed her into the kitchen counter her back hitting it hard causing her to cry out in pain.

Taking the opening Donnie shoved his tongue down Jennifer's mouth kissing her and pushing his body into her so she couldn't get away, placing his drink on the counter behind her again.

" _You liked that didn't you?"_ He said as he pulled away his one hand leaning on the kitchen counter while the other one began to play with Jennifer's right breast, squeezing a little too hard causing her to whimper in pain.

" _You're a little whore, you love it."_ He said moving his head down to bite Jennifer on the neck her eyes watching him wide in fear.

" _No...stop, I don't…."_ Jennifer tried to say, her speech still not coming out right.

" _No lies Jenny, you love it."_ Donnie replied his hand traveling downwards.

She didn't like this, she didn't want it, is this what his friends were going to do to her.

She felt trapped, she couldn't move as he had her pinned.

She could feel the panic setting in, the same panic when she was shut in that room.

She didn't want this.

She wanted it to stop.

She wanted to get away.

" _NO!"_ Jennifer yelled pushing Donnie away from her with such force that he fell back onto the table knocking it and all its contents to the ground.

She didn't stop to look at the damage, nor to see if he was hurt, she just ran.

She ran as fast as she could right out the house door, she was sure they would follow her so she didn't dare stop and look back she just kept running.

All she knew was that she had to get away, she had no idea where she was going, she just ran.

Tears were streaming down her face from the pent up fear she had felt but she didn't stop to wipe them away she just kept running and running.

She wasn't looking where she was going she was just running, she didn't see the car coming.

She didn't register the headlights of the car flashing or the beeping of its horn.

She didn't know it was there at all until she collided with it hard.

 **Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

 _ **Present Day.**_

In the out skirts of Savannah Morgan and Gideon were still interviewing Charles Tyln's sister Charlotte at her small bungalow.

Currently the three of them were sat around a small coffee table in the living room, they had been talking for the past hour as Morgan and Gideon tried to find out more about Charles past, about his childhood.

So far they had learned that Charles had had a troublesome relationship with his father.

He had been seen by his father as a mommy's boy and a weak child due to that, the rift only got worse after their mother had left when Charles was ten years old.

He as a child would never go on hunts with his father not liking having to kill animals for the sake of taxidermy, the family business.

He had hated the hunting, but also hated to be seen as weak.

He had always looked for ways to get his father's approval which is why he took honour is being called a killer, well at least that was what Charlotte thought.

She had said she had always known he was innocent, but her brother had been so insistent that he had been the killer that no one ever believed her.

She thought that he took honour in the kill as he believed it would make their father happy, it did the opposite.

Her father now despised his son, wanting nothing to do with him.

She hardly saw him either.

The last time had been ten months after Charles or 'Charlie' as Charlotte called him, had been released from prison.

There had been a huge argument.

After the argument both Charlie and their father had left, that was the last time she had seen or heard from either of them.

" _Sorry, excuse me."_ Morgan said as he stood taking his ringing phone from his pocket and walking towards the hallway for privacy.

" _Hey Garcia…Garcia….Baby girl...Calm down! Start again slowly."_ Morgan said down the phone, Gideon turning to look at him.

He couldn't hear the conversation but he could see from the look on Morgan's face and the sound in his voice that something was wrong.

Very wrong.

" _We'll be right there."_ Morgan said into the phone while walking into the room before hanging up the phone and placing it back in his pocket.

Walking up to Gideon he whispered in his ear before straightening up.

"Thank you for your time Miss Tyln, I'm afraid we are going to have to go. If you hear from Charles, or remember anything, anything at all, please contact us." Gideon said handing over a card to Charlotte biding her farewell before following Morgan out the door.

Both with one thought on their minds.

They hoped Garcia wasn't right.

Otherwise Emily was going to turn into the next serial killer the BAU have to profile.

They would have to send another team though.

As she would kill them all.

 **Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

" _Wakey, wakey."_

Her head pounded, who was that calling her?

It sounded like a male voice, it wasn't Reid, it wasn't anybody from the team, who was it?

" _Come on, we really want you awake to see this"_

She was sure she didn't want to be awake for whatever 'this' was, her head may pound but she remembered everything, the crash, Reid being forced out of the car, seeing Sara, everything.

" _It's going to be so much fun"_

Wait.

That voice she recognised.

" _Sara?"_ She asked confused, she couldn't open her eyes yet, the pain in her head still hurting.

" _Jenny?"_ The voice said back mockingly.

" _What did you do to me?"_ JJ asked, her eyes opening now but straining in the light.

" _Gave you something to help you relax, seems to be working better this time."_ Sara replied.

" _Where's Spence?"_ JJ asked suddenly afraid.

Her eyes had adjusted now and after looking around the room she was in she couldn't see him.

She couldn't see much of anything at all.

It looked as though they were under ground, the only light she could see was from battery operated lanterns.

Her eyes grew wide with nerves as Sara made her way over towards her stopping right in front of her.

She flinched as Sara's hand went past her head to grab something behind her.

She heard a groan.

" _Spence?"_ JJ asked trying to turn around.

She found she couldn't, she was restrained to a chair with tightly knotted ropes, she couldn't move.

" _JJ?"_ Reid replied confused.

He didn't know where they were, the last thing he remembered was being knocked unconscious after being forcefully dragged from the SUV.

" _Where are we?"_ He continued, he could see even less then JJ could.

He was sat tied to a chair just like JJ, they were almost back to back, neither of them could see each other or much else for that matter.

" _You'll find out soon enough."_ Sara replied to Reid's question while smiling down at JJ who was staring back at her.

" _Who are you?"_ Reid asked.

" _Has Jenny here never told you about me? We're practically family, I was almost her step-sister in law after all"_ Sara replied with a slight chuckle.

" _We are nowhere near family."_ JJ replied not looking away.

" _Thanks to you that is."_ Sara said as she spat at JJ's face, smiling as the blonde flinched due to the contact.

" _I lost everything because of you."_ She continued bending down in front of JJ to get right in front of her face.

" _We are going to destroy you! And then maybe, if you're lucky, I'll let him kill you."_ She said pointing behind her where the man with the baseball cap who had taken photos of JJ was stood playing with a knife in his hands.

" _Or maybe we will kill your friend here while you watch. You can add him to the list of people you have killed, all the people that are dead because of you."_ Sara continued not happy with the way JJ was not reacting to her, she wanted to break her.

" _Leave him alone."_ JJ yelled angrily through gritted teeth, she refused to let anybody, especially Reid, get hurt because of her.

" _Touchy, touchy."_ The man said walking towards them smiling, the knife still in his hands.

" _Your brother would have almost been proud with the venom in your voice then."_ He continued smirking at JJ's disgusted face at the mention of her 'brother'.

" _Charlie, you know as well as I do he would want us to teach her a lesson."_ Sara said looking towards him with her eyebrows raised.

" _Hmm? I think your right. He told me about some of the lessons you were taught when younger. I think you need a refresher course in respect, I want you to call me 'sir' like you did your father."_ Charlie said as walked up to JJ.

Kneeling down in front of her he lifted his hand holding the knife and began to gently trace her law line with it, not hard enough to cut her though.

" _He's not my father."_ JJ insisted, she refused to meet his eyes, she refused to let him see the fear they held.

" _Oh I know that silly. I know you're a – what was it Donnie said?"_ Charlie started.

" _A devil child."_ Sara supplied.

" _Yes a devil child."_ Charlie finished his knife still tracing her law line enjoying the way she was trying to remain unaffected by his words, and his toy.

" _Would you like to know how she felt when you were conceived?"_ Charlie asked with a grin, his other hand traveling slowly up her inner thigh.

" _Leave her alone!"_ Reid yelled struggling against his restraints after hearing JJ let out a small whimper in discomfort.

" _I thought you had fallen asleep again back there."_ Charlie mocked after laughing at the outburst.

" _Sara you're right, I think she does need a lesson, they both do. Let's see how long the two of you stay friends when you earn each other punishments."_ He continued, chuckling at JJ's confused expression.

Charlie turned around and nodded to Sara who disappeared out of JJ's sightline for a few moments, only to return a few seconds later with an electric cattle prod.

" _This is going to hurt more than you think. I'm good with toys. I like to juice them up."_ Charlie said chuckling as he saw the 'toy' that Sara had chosen to use.

Sara smirked at the look of fear on JJ's face that turned into confusion as she walked past her towards Reid.

" _Don't worry Jenny you'll get your turn later."_ She said as she came to a stop in front of Reid.

She looked down to him her neck crunching as she moved her head from side to side.

" _Leave him alone! It's me you want! Leave him alone!"_ JJ yelled in panic, trying to move, trying to help her friend ignoring Charlie's hand that was still running up and down her inner thigh.

She couldn't let him get hurt because of her, it would be her fault.

" _Just remember, this is all her fault."_ She said as she tore open Reid's shirt before connecting the prods tip with his stomach causing him to yell out in pain as his body began to convulse from the shock.

* * *

 **AN:** Poor JJ and Reid. Pretty crazy those two aren't they okay let's be honest they are horrible! There's more to Sara's story yet, lets more.

Let me know what you think.


	13. Chapter Thirteen: Promise Me

**AN:** Hey guys sorry this one is up a little late tonight, still up in time though! I got called into work so got delayed!

I wanted to get this up so I'm afraid I haven't had a chance to reply to all your reviews yet but I promise to do so with the next chapter.

Once again thank you all so much for all the reviews and to everybody who is reading! Please continue to do so and let me know what you think!

 **WARNINGS:** **Violence, Indications of Child Abuse.**

* * *

 **Chapter Thirteen: Promise Me.**

It had taken Morgan and Gideon less than twenty minutes to get back to the docs to pick up Garcia after she had called them.

Then a further twenty minutes on the ferry to get them on the island, all the while Garcia and Gideon had been still trying to contact JJ and Reid with no luck.

It was while driving back towards the police station from the docs that they saw it.

The SUV.

One of theirs.

On the side of the road, burnt to a crisp.

An island rescue crew and police were gathered around the SUV, what remained of it.

No one was in the SUV, all that was recovered near the site was a single phone, JJ's.

Dread had panic had set in then.

Garcia was right, something was wrong, something had happened.

If they had crashed and were able to, they would have called for help.

They wouldn't have left the SUV unless they had to and even then they would have stayed close to the accident site.

They were nowhere to be found.

Luckily all the SUV's used by the team came with front windscreen cameras that recorded constantly to a backup drive connected to the CD player.

Even though the SUV was burnt to a crisp, once safe, the camera's backup drive had been removed and they had taken it back to the police office where Garcia had managed to extract the files stored.

The three of them had watched as they saw a black van plough into the SUV sending it rolling down a hill at high speed, gasping as they heard JJ's scream of surprise and Reid's yelp of pain at the contact.

They watched as minutes later Reid was torn from the driver's side, JJ screaming after him, by a hooded figure they assumed to be a male from his stature.

They watched in horror as the hooded figure knocked Reid out cold before dragging him up the hill out of the camera's a view, a few moments later the same happening to an already unconscious JJ before flames surrounded the camera lens.

Morgan had grown angry when they couldn't see the faces of the two unsubs saying the footage was useless as they already knew someone had taken them.

Gideon had been quick to say otherwise.

The footage did help them, it gave them the number plate of the van that had hit them, it gave them a starting point.

It also showed them there was a gap in the profile so far, Charles had a partner.

That partner Gideon believed was a woman from what they could make out, they just needed to figure out who the partner was and how she was connected.

They were now almost certain that the unsub was Charles, all of this, the timeline, the victims, what had just happened, everything led back to him.

Garcia had quickly managed to get the small islands security feed up on her computer so she could try and track where the black van had gone.

She had managed to follow the van to the multi-story parking lot at the edge of town near the docs before the trail went dead.

The van was seen going into the multi-story, up to the third floor, then it had yet to be seen again, from the date stamp on the security camera footage when the van had went to the multi-story it had been almost two hours since the van was seen going into the third floor.

Gideon and a few of the officers from the station had quickly descended upon the multi stories third floor searching for the van, it was nowhere in sight.

Garcia ran her hands through her hair in frustration, she was sure this was wasting time, they, herself and Morgan should be out their searching with Gideon and the police.

Instead they were in the police office, Morgan going over the information they had collected on Charles so far trying to find out who this woman was, while she was watching security tapes from the island still trying to see if there had been any other sightings of the van.

" _This is stupid! We should be out there looking too!"_ She exclaimed, she felt useless, she couldn't find that damn van.

" _I know how you feel baby girl, but there is nothing we can do out there. We don't have enough information."_ Morgan replied with a sigh.

" _Meanwhile those people are doing god knows what to Gumdrop and Pretty Boy."_ She replied upset.

" _That's why we have to do everything we can to find them, look at every angle. I know it's hard but we have to stay strong. We can't fall apart right now, they need us."_ Morgan replied, trying to calm Garcia down, himself to if he was honest.

He knew this was hard for Garcia, she was usually more shielded from the violence of cases like this. Staying in Quantico meant she was not having to be right in the middle of it all while still helping the team.

Here she was in the middle of it all trying to help, the problem was at the moment they didn't have enough information to go on.

" _I know that…I just feel... Responsible."_ Garcia said with a sigh, defeated.

" _If I hadn't had been so impatient they would have never been on the road. I asked them to leave the station to get me."_ She continued, she felt a large amount of guilt, it was partly why she was so frustrated.

" _This isn't your fault."_ Morgan replied instantly.

" _The way this went down, how quickly it happened, it must have been planned. I think they would have tried this at any time, the opportunity just presented itself for them today."_ He continued, he wouldn't let her think this was her fault.

They were a team, they made the choice to split up as it was the best way to utilise the time they had.

No one person was to blame, yes they should have taken more precautions, but that doesn't make it any one person's fault what has happened.

" _Let's just hope Emily sees it that way."_ Garcia replied worried.

They hadn't been able to contact Hotch and Emily yet, the two of them to their knowledge were still at the prison.

They were worried how Emily was going to take the news when she found out.

They knew it wasn't going to be good.

It affected all of them deeply when a member of the team was in danger, this was different.

They had no idea where Reid and JJ were and what was happening to them.

 **xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

" _Spence?"_ JJ called into the darkness.

She couldn't see anything, they had taken the lanterns with them after they left.

She could feel that underlying panic from not being able to see where she was, of not seeing a way out.

The worry was what she felt most at the moment though.

That and guilt.

" _Spence? I'm so sorry."_ She whispered guiltily into the darkness.

She could hear her friend wheezing softly behind her, he was having trouble breathing.

She couldn't see what Sara had done to him, but she had heard it.

As well as the cattle prod, she was sure that Sara had thrown a good few punches as well which had no doubt damaged his ribs further.

" _Don't lis-ten to them JJ…this isn't your, fault."_ Reid wheezed out, his speech broken from not being able to breathe properly.

" _I should have stopped her, it's me she wants...they want."_ JJ insisted, to her this was entirely her fault, Reid shouldn't even be here.

" _You didn't want to leave the station, I should have listened."_ She continued, the guilt she was feeling was overwhelming.

" _It's not…your fault…besides…Garcia would have…gotten her way re…gardless."_ Reid replied, breathlessly.

" _We can't let them…break us…okay? We have to stay strong…the team will know…something is up….they will find us….Emily will kill them…for laying a finger…on you…then we will…go have a beer with Morgan."_ He continued, trying to make JJ feel better smiling slightly when he heard a short laugh burst from her at the mentioned of going for a beer.

" _That's Morgan response to everything."_ JJ said fondly.

In truth Reid had no idea how long they had been away, but he had faith in the team. Garcia was impatient, she would realise something was up when neither himself nor JJ answer their phones when she would no doubt call to see where they are.

Garcia would alert the others he knew that, they were all on high alert with the victim's likeness to JJ and the bombshell she dropped the other day, her going radio silent would send the whole team in a frenzy.

He had no doubt that the team, especially Emily, would not rest until they found them and brought them home, he just hopped it wasn't too long. He didn't know how much more his body could take, he was glad so far they had hurt him and not JJ, she was like a little sister to him.

He was worried about her though, she sounded almost defeated, she believed what they had said, she thought his pain was her fault.

It wasn't.

They hurt him.

His pain was their fault, and he refused to let JJ think otherwise.

" _Spence?"_ JJ asked, bringing him out of his thoughts.

" _Hmmm?"_ Reid grunted in reply.

" _I need you to promise me something."_ JJ said seriously.

" _Promise me you won't do or say anything to make them angry. You, you're in pain. I can hear it, you are having trouble breathing. They are angry at me, let them concentrate on me when them come back."_ She insisted, bravely.

She knew Reid, they were close friends.

Even though she was only a few months younger than him, he was extremely protective of her.

Emily used to tease them both about it before the two of them had started dating, then JJ learned it was because she was jealous.

" _I can't do that JJ."_ Reid said, his voice was still breathless but he forced out the whole sentence with strength than he felt.

" _Promise me Spence. I won't have you getting yourself hurt on purpose to protect me."_ JJ insisted.

" _Jayje"-_

" _Promise me!"_ She cut in, her voice breaking at the end with emotion.

Neither of them said anything for a few moments as silence fell over the room bar from Reid's wheezy breaths.

" _Okay."_ He relented.

" _But you have to promise me that…you won't either."_ He continued, it worked both ways, he didn't want her goading them to protect him just as she didn't want him to do the same for her.

" _And whatever happens we… do not blame each other…they are going to… try and turn us against each other…we can't let them."_ He insisted further, he knew she still blamed herself for his earlier 'lesson' as they had called it.

" _JJ?"_ Reid asked, she hadn't responded, he wondered if she had even heard him.

" _Someone's coming."_ JJ said in a whisper, worry in her voice.

They both went silent, Reid could hear the footsteps now too.

They were coming back.

" _Remember whatever happens this isn't your fault."_ He whispered.

" _It's not yours either."_ JJ whispered back after a moment of silence.

 **xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

Their time at the prison had been a bust.

Emily and Hotch had tried everything but couldn't get anything useful out of Donald 'Donnie' Collins.

He had been more than willing to try and divulge the details of the horrible things he had put JJ through though, only to be shut up instantly by Emily.

She had refused to let him say anything about JJ, she refused to listen to him.

She wanted JJ to tell her these things when she was ready too, not have to hear it from her step-brother mockingly.

The things he had said before Emily had shut him down and what they implied had been playing around in her head the whole way back to Tybee Island.

One thing he had said in particular had stuck in her mind, it made her remember something from a couple of weeks ago, something she had felt on JJ's back.

 _ **##Flashback: Two and a Half Weeks Ago##**_

Emily and JJ had just returned to Emily's flat after going out to dinner.

JJ had just sent Emily away to pick a movie for them two of them to watch while she got the two of them something to drink.

JJ was very comfortable at Emily's flat, they spent a lot of time there even before dating, she knew her way around the flat well.

Emily had picked a movie and placed it in the player before taking a seat and waiting for JJ to come and join her on the sofa.

A few minutes later JJ returned with two large glasses of red wine and placed them down on the coffee table before sitting herself down on Emily's lap cuddling in close to her.

Emily wasn't surprised at this, JJ was very tactile, and since they had started dating JJ had become even cuddlier than she had been beforehand.

Often in the past few weeks JJ would randomly cuddle up to her telling her that she missed her, Emily didn't mind at all she enjoyed the feeling of having her girlfriend close and being able to hold her.

Part of her wondered why JJ would do so though, why there was always such tension in the muscles in her back at first.

" _You okay?"_ Emily asked softly after a few moments, pulling the blonde in closer to herself, her one hand rubbing up and down JJ's back gently knowing it always relaxed the younger woman.

JJ nodded before lifting her head from Emily's neck and kissing the brunette softly.

" _I just missed my Emily cuddles."_ JJ replied after the kiss, a smile on her face.

Emily laughed shaking her head, there had been plenty of 'Emily cuddles' already today, she was seriously considering whether or not the blonde was addicted to cuddles.

" _You are far too cute sometimes, you know that right?"_ Emily said with a chuckle, pecking the blonde on her lips again after.

" _It's not my fault you're a big softie teddy bear."_ JJ replied as she slipped off of the brunettes lap to sit next to her on the sofa before snuggling into her side once again.

" _Only with you."_ Emily replied drawing the blonde in closer once again.

" _Jay, what's this from?"_ she asked suddenly.

JJ's top had ridden up as she slipped onto the sofa causing Emily's hand, that had slipped to the blonde's waist, to begin stroking her bare skin.

" _Huh?"_ JJ asked confused looking up into Emily's eyes.

" _This."_ Emily said her hand tracing along a scar she could feel on JJ's lower back near the waist line of the jeans she was wearing.

" _Where did you get this scar from?"_ She continued warily, she had felt the blonde tense in her arms after she had brought her attention to the scar.

 _ **##End of Flashback##**_

JJ had told her that scar was from an accident she had as a child. Emily hadn't entirely believed JJ nor had she pressed her for more information at the time not wanting to cause JJ to pull away from her.

After what Donnie had said today though, she was sure that scar wasn't just a childhood accident.

She just hoped one day JJ would tell her the real reason for the scar, she had a pretty good idea, but she wanted to hear it from her girlfriend.

For now that could wait though, all she wanted to do tonight was go back to the hotel with JJ crawl into bed and fall sleep holding her safely in her arms knowing that that creep could no longer hurt her.

That was the only thought on Emily Prentiss's mind as she made her way through the police station at Tybee Island in search of her girlfriend.

She smiled to Morgan as he walked past her, seemingly distracted, towards Hotch, a series look on his face.

Walking into the little office they had set up in the police station Emily saw Garcia leant over her laptop busily watching some CCTV footage.

" _Hey Pen, what time did you get in?"_ Emily said to her friend, not noticing Garcia's eyes widen in surprise and then look to her in worry.

" _Have you seen Jayje?"_ Emily asked her before Garcia could respond, noticing that her girlfriend didn't seem to be in the station.

" _Emily."_ Garcia said.

" _I think you should sit down."_ She continued.

* * *

 **AN:** sorry guys… you'll have to wait till next time for Emily's reaction.

How do you think she will take it?

What do you think will happen to JJ and Reid?

Let me know what you guys thought of this update!


	14. We're Going To Have So Much Fun Together

Hey everybody, thank you so much to all those that are reading and reviewing etc, I really do love to hear from you all.

 **Letirreis:** Thanks for your reviews, you are about to find out, Hope you like the update.

 **USCutie15:** Thanks for your review, JJ and Reid may have more to go through yet but Emily wont stop till they are saved we all know that. Keep an eye out, the scar will be mentioned again soon. Hope you continue to enjoy the updates.

 **Elphiemolizbethbau** : thanks for your review. Hhaha ooh yes, Emily will destroy them when she gets her hands on them. Keep reading, hope you enjoy this latest update.

 **MyCriminaIMind:** Thanks for your review. Haha you know me far too well. Maybe a bit more. Yes these unsubs better watch out when and if Emily gets to them. Let me know what you think of this latest chapter.

 **102000QP:** Thanks for your review, let me know what you think of Emily's reaction and the update.

 **Thalie57:** Thanks for your review and all your PM's, I love hearing what you think of the story, glad you are enjoying the flashbacks of Emily and JJ there may be some more to come, let me know what you think of the latest update.

 **Guest who reviewed chapter 13 on august 17** **th** **:** Thank you for your review and for reading, I'm glad you are enjoying the story so far, you may be right poor JJ and Reid are in a horrible situation. Let me know what you think of the update.

 **Rmpcmfan:** Thank you for your review, your right with Reid being there too it adds even more guilt to JJ, let me know what you think of the latest updates.

 **Kensi1997:** Thank you for your review, let me know what you think of the latest updates.

 **Guest who reviewed chapter 12 on august 14** **th** **:** Thank you for your review and for reading, I'm glad you are enjoying the story and the way I write it, hope you continue to do so.

 **AN:** This chapter was hard to write, please pay attention to the warnings below, they are there for a reason, I do not want to upset or offend anyone with some of the topics this chapter deals with.

 **WARNINGS:** **Violence, Mentions of Child Abuse. Sexual Assault.**

 _ **Writing in bolt italics like this are speech and conversations in peoples minds, memories of things said etc.**_

* * *

 **Chapter Fourteen: We're Going To Have So Much Fun Together.**

 ** _"It's JJ and Reid, they are missing."_**

 ** _"Something happened."_**

 ** _"The car they were in was found abandoned and destroyed."_**

 ** _"We are doing everything possible."_**

 ** _"We will find them."_**

Emily was frozen.

She felt like she was having an out of body experience.

She could hear everything that they were saying but she just couldn't respond.

She couldn't move.

Her mind just kept on going over everything Garcia had said.

Her mind kept on replaying it all.

Jayje was missing.

The unsub had her.

Charles had her.

Reid too.

JJ was in danger and there was nothing she could do.

" _No."_ Emily said suddenly.

" _Prentiss?"_ Hotch replied confused.

She had been silent for the last half an hour, which had worried him, at least she was now talking even if he didn't know what she was saying 'no' to.

" _You can all do whatever you want but I'm not going to rest back at the hotel. Not till Jayje is back here where she should be, with me, Reid too."_ Emily said looking at each of teammates.

She had heard Gideon just suggest they get some rest and regroup in the morning.

Even though she knew that was the logical thing to do, that they would all be able to work better with clear minds after being well rested, she couldn't.

JJ had been taken, she was in danger.

Emily couldn't and wouldn't rest, not till her girlfriend was back safely.

" _I don't want to stop either, but Gideon is right. We won't be any help if we aren't at our best."_ Morgan said trying to convince his friend.

" _No, I'm not leaving."_ Emily insisted.

" _Emily-"_

" _No. There's a couch right there, if I get tired I'll sleep here. I'm not leaving when we have work to do."_ Emily cut Morgan off, her tone final.

Silence fell over the room as the other agents looked at each other, they knew this was personal for Emily, usually she wasn't one to not follow orders.

They knew from the tone she had just used that she would not give in.

" _Okay. You can stay. But if you find anything, and I mean anything, you are to contact us and wait for backup before taking any action. Understood?"_ Hotch relented, firmly.

Emily nodded, knowing it was really the only way she would get the team to let her stay and continue searching.

" _The rest of us, back to the hotel for tonight, we will meet here at six sharp."_ Hotch ordered.

" _Actually sir?"_ Garcia called as the other members of her team, bar Emily, began to make their way towards the small offices door.

" _I think I'll stay and help Emily, if that's okay?"_ Garcia said, directing the last part of her question to Emily, she received a ghost of a smile and a nod in response.

" _Okay. But those conditions we discussed still stand, neither of you follow any leads without the rest of us."_ Hotch stated firmly.

" _Yes sir, thank you."_ Garcia complied before turning back to her computer screen.

Morgan, Gideon and Hotch bid the two female agents goodnight before leaving the office and the police station for the rest of the night.

It wouldn't be too long till they were back, it was already 2am, they would be back in less than five hours.

The problem was a lot could happen in those five hours.

 **Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

 ** _"What are you thinking about?"_**

 ** _"You. Us"_**

 ** _"Is that a good thing?"_**

 ** _"Absolutely."_**

 ** _"Then why are you crying?"_**

 ** _"I, I don't know."_**

 ** _"It's okay, don't cry baby."_**

 ** _"Don't leave me."_**

 ** _"I'm not going anywhere I promise."_**

" _Wakey, wakey."_

" _Emily!"_

 ** _"I love you."_**

" _Emily!"_

" _She's going to see you soon you know? Your little girlfriend. She will see you, but you won't see her."_ Charles said chuckling, rubbing a wet cloth over the lash marks on JJ's back causing her to wince and try to move away from him.

Only she couldn't move far, he had her pinned down to a single bed.

" _Don't move! I need to clean these, don't want you getting infected and dying on us do we?"_ He ordered, before pressing the cloth into JJ's back a little more forcefully.

" _Well, not yet anyway. It's not time yet."_ He continued as he rinsed the cloth before rubbing it over more lash marks lower down JJ's back.

The lash marks were the remains of JJ's earlier 'lesson' from Sara.

She had taken great pleasure in painting JJ's skin with the lashes from the whip she had used.

She had told JJ she chose that particular 'toy' to remind her of the 'beltings' she used to get from Donnie and Michael.

It had.

Each lash Sara had given her reminded her of different 'lessons' from when she was younger.

After a while she had passed out from the pain and retreated into her own mind.

She wished she was there now, back in her mind, with Emily.

Her girlfriend had held her in her mind, had spoken to her softly, had kissed her, had told her she loved her.

JJ would much rather be in her mind right now, than here, in this weird underground cave with these couple of 'wackjobs' as Emily could call them.

Emily was the only thing that was keeping JJ sane at the moment, her and Reid.

She wished she was more like Emily.

Stronger, able to hide her fear.

" _Where's Spence?"_ she muttered suddenly, only half conscious of doing so after turning her head a little to scan her surroundings.

She couldn't see him anywhere.

It looked as though she was in an entirely different room before.

When she had gotten here she didn't know, they must have moved her after she had passed out.

" _The little boy scout? He's spending some quality time with Sara before she makes a special delivery. I thought you and me could spend some quality time together in the meantime. What do you think?"_ Charles asked smirking as the blonde flinched at the sound of his voice obviously forgetting that he was there.

" _I think I'd rather shoot myself in the face."_ JJ replied, Emily would be proud of that one, it was more like something she would have said.

JJ knew she shouldn't bate him, she shouldn't give him reason to hurt her, but she couldn't help herself, she didn't even know why she had just said that.

" _And miss out on all the fun we're going to have? No way!"_ Charles said laughing, the little blonde had spirit, he would give her that, he was going to enjoy breaking that out of her.

" _They're going to kill you, and her, you know? My team. They will find us. You won't get away from this alive."_ JJ said confidently, where that confidence came from though she had no idea, her mind was telling her to shut the hell up while her mouth had a mind of its own.

" _Really?"_ Charles replied amused.

He threw the cloth back down in a bucket of bloodied water on the floor and then proceeded to turn JJ over on the bed so she was no laying on her back, facing him in only her bra and underwear.

He doubted the blonde even realised she wasn't wearing any other clothes than this as he chained her arms and legs to each end of the bed.

" _You think they will be able to find you? Let me ask you something. Have you figured out where exactly we are yet?"_ Charles asked, standing up straight to look down at JJ watching the horror flash on her face as she realised she was exposed and restrained to the bed.

" _You haven't? I'll give you a clue. We are currently where this all started, seventeen years ago."_ He continued with a smirk.

" _Well, underneath where it all started. Right up there, right above where you are now is the exact spot where your mom died."_ He finished laughing.

JJ froze, she almost stopped breathing.

He had to lying right?

How was that possible?

Did anyone even know that these tunnels, these caves, existed?

" _Hey Jenny?"_ Charles said drawing her attention back to him.

" _Have you ever wondered what you're Mom felt?"_ He asked sitting next to her on the bed.

" _How she felt when you were conceived?"_ He continued with sickening smile, stoking a hand down the middle of her bra covered chest to her bare stomach.

" _Have you ever been with a man? Or have you always been too scared? Like you were when you were fourteen? Sara told me about that you know, about how you ran away, got yourself run over. Is that why you're with, Emily, is it? Too afraid to be in a real relationship?"_ Charles mocked, his hand continuing to stroke the same path up and down loving the way JJ shivered at his touch trying to move away from him.

" _I am in a real relationship."_ JJ said in determination with a gulp as she closed her eyes trying to ignore his wondering hands.

" _I wonder if you will still think that way after."_ Charles said, his one hand moving up to cup JJ's right breast while the other hand snuck around her back unclasping her bra.

" _No. Please, don't. Not this. Anything but this."_ JJ pleaded a tear slowly making its way down her face, her eyes still closed.

Any strength she had now gone as she realised what he intended to do. She didn't want this, she hadn't ever wanted this, the only person she had ever considered being with was Emily and she was still not ready for that yet with Emily.

" _Shhhh. We're going to have so much fun together, you'll see."_ Charles whispered pulling JJ's bra away from her body while he moved to straddle her waist.

 **Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

Emily sighed running a hand through her hair as she looked at the clock.

It was 5am.

JJ and Reid had last been seen at just gone 3pm.

That was fourteen hours ago.

Fourteen hours.

It had been twenty-one hours since Emily had seen JJ last.

Almost a day.

Too long.

Twenty-one hours ago JJ was safe, seven hours later she was missing.

Now Emily had no idea where JJ was.

What was happening to her, whether she was even alive or not.

The rest of the team thought she was, Charles was organised, he wouldn't kill her until it was time.

Like the others. All on the same day. March 27th.

Today was March 19th.

That gave then just over a week.

Only it didn't.

Every hour that went by was another hour where JJ, Reid too, could be having god knows what done to them.

" _Emily?"_ Garcia asked, pulling her out of her thoughts.

" _Sugar-plum? Maybe you should get some rest."_ Garcia suggested, they had not managed to get anywhere in the time since the team left, she had seen her friend getting more and more frustrated as the hours went by.

" _I can't. Jayje needs me."_ Emily said with a sigh, she couldn't sleep, not when JJ was still out there, Reid too.

" _I'll keep looking. I'll wake you if I find anything."_ Garcia offered.

She was worried.

She had never seem Emily this way.

She seemed defeated, determined to find them yes, but at the same time defeated.

" _No. You should though. You must be tired after your flight earlier."_ Emily replied still looking at the clock.

" _I'm fine. Don't worry about me."_ Garcia insisted, yawning afterwards causing Emily to look at her over her shoulder.

A knock at the door interrupted them both.

" _Agent Prentiss?"_ One of the officers from the station asked.

He was stood by the door, he had a large A4 sized brown envelope in his one hand.

" _This was just delivered for you."_ He announced walking up to Emily to pass her the envelope.

Emily muttered a 'thank you' to the officer as he left the room before taking a look at the envelope in her hand.

It was a standard brown A4 envelope, tape sealed, with a single white label stuck on the front which had 'Agent Prentiss' written on it.

Gently Emily opened the envelope and shook it letting the contents fall onto the table gasping as she saw what was inside.

Two single polaroid picture photographs.

" _Oh my god!"_ Garcia exclaimed seeing the photo's, her eyes widening in shock.

" _Officer?"_ Emily shouted rushing out of the office in search of the police officer who brought her the envelope.

" _When did that Envelope arrive for me? Who delivered it to you?"_ Emily demanded after finding the officer in question.

" _Some woman from a courier asked me to sign for it just before I brought it into you."_ He replied confused.

" _It didn't have a courier mark on it, she couldn't have been with a courier."_ Emily said before rushing out the station front door the officer following her close behind.

Running through the doors she stopped just outside the station on the street and looked over every possible area of the street she could see.

It was empty.

The woman was gone.

" _If she wasn't a courier, who was she?"_ The officer asked worried, he had signed for the envelope he hadn't even thought to look to look at the courier mark.

" _I don't know."_ Emily replied deep in thought.

" _You spoke to her?"_ She asked.

" _You saw what she looked like?"_ She continued hopeful.

" _Well yeah, but I didn't get a great look."_ He replied, hating the way the hope left the agent's eyes instantly after he spoke.

" _The cameras might have got a better angle though."_ He continued after a thought.

" _Cameras?"_ Emily asked, to her knowledge the station had none, Hotch and JJ had spoken about that a few days ago.

" _We installed them after Agent Jareau suggested it, she said there was reason to believe the murder might try to involve himself in the investigation. Having cameras would allow us to monitor who came to the station."_ The officer replied.

" _Does Garcia know about this?"_ Emily asked pushing past the officer back into the station, she was on a mission, she needed to know who delivered that envelope, it could be one of the unsubs.

" _She can access the feed, she was given the information earlier."_ The officer said following Emily back into the station.

He continued following her as she made her way back into the office the team had been using.

" _Garcia"-_

" _Already on it, I've found our early morning delivery lady on the stations live feed, just working on a close up ah! Here."_ Garcia said cutting Emily off, turning the monitor around to show Emily and the officer.

On the screen a image could be seen of a woman wearing a blue courier marked cap, her head was tilted up towards the ceiling slightly so her face could be seen.

It was Sara.

" _That's her."_ The officer confirmed.

" _Do you recognise her? Is she a local?"_ Emily asked.

" _No. Not that I know of."_ The officer said.

" _I'm running her face through the database, the image is clear enough that we should be able to get a match."_ Garcia said confidently.

" _Call Hotch. We need the team here for when the ID comes through."_ Emily said after walking up to Garcia and leaning her hands on the back of her chair.

This was what they had been waiting for.

Something, anything to go on, a starting point.

She was glad the police on the island had listened to JJ and installed these cameras, this woman had obviously not been expecting that, she probably had no idea they even had this footage.

* * *

 **AN:** ooooooo! Let me know what you thought guys! Got to admit this was another hard one to write due to the scene with JJ, shes been through so much already, is this footage the break the team needs?


	15. Chapter Fifteen: Anchor

Hi all, hope you are all okay, I'm so sorry I couldn't get you this update, my work weekend had been insanely busy and I just crashed upon returning home last night, I will make up for it I promise by giving you another update very soon. Can I just say thank you so much to everybody that had been reading and reviewing I received 11 reviews for the last chapter! 11! It's the most I have ever gotten for one chapter and I am truly very happy and amazed by that.

 **fallenangel1396:** Thank you so much for reading and for the review, I'm glad you are enjoying so far and I hope you continue to do so.

 **USCutie15:** Thanks for you review, glad you are enjoying. I know right JJ and Reid need out of there and like now! The team are closing in now though, keep reading!

 **Rmpcmfan:** Thanks for your review, I see you noticed the link over to the oneshot I planted haha. They will catch them one way or another, Emily is more determined than ever now.

 **MyCriminaIMind:** thanks for your review, haha I get you, it's like when I keep saying I'm glad people are enjoying but I'm thinking in my head well not enjoying enjoying but you catch my drift right! Yes Emily is true girlfriend cuddly but brutal bear mode right now, Charles and Sara should be shaking in their boots when she catches them!

 **Elphiemolizbethbau:** thanks for you review, they are closing in now don't you worry, I know what you mean that, its horrible for JJ right now, Reid too!

 **102000QP:** Thanks for your review, they need a break through badly don't they, did it work? You are about to find out.

 **Letirreis:** Thanks for your review, I know JJ has been through too much already, she needs to saved soon she need her prince to come to the rescue!

 **Kensi1997:** Thank you for you review. I know what you mean with fics on here, there are some amazing ones, thank you for what you said its always great to hear. Hope you continue to enjoy.

 **Guest who reviewed chapter 14 on august 19** **th** **:** Thank you for reading and for your review. I'm glad to hear that, it is a topic that I wanted to present with the respect and seriousness it need to treated with and I'm glad I managed that. JJ are Reid are in for a tough ride, let just hope the team close in sooner rather than later, let me know what you think of the next update.

 **Thalie57:** Thank you again for all your PM's and for reviewing here too. Emily is deffo in full warrior mode now, with her gunning for Charles and Sara the team will soon be closing in.

 **TheHurricane808:** Thank you for reading and reviewing, here is your update and I promise another one really soon! Thank you for your comments, I'm glad you are enjoying the timing of the flashbacks and the lay out of the story, hope you continue to do so.

 **AN:** On with the chapter! This again was a hard one to right, I don't like having poor JJ and Reid going through all these things, let me know what you all think.

 **WARNINGS:** **Mentions of rape/sexual assault, murder, child abuse, violence and torture**

* * *

 **Chapter Fifteen: Anchor**

" _How's this?"_

" _Good…really good. You have magic hands Em."_

" _I aim to please…what's making you so tense anyway?"_

" _It's hard to explain."_

" _Try me, been told I'm a good listener."_

" _You are, I'm just not a great talker."_

" _You are a great talker, miss media liaison for the BAU."_

" _This is different."_

" _Different how?"_

" _I…it just is, I'm sorry."_

" _It's okay Jay. You'll tell me when you're ready, I know that. You have nothing to be sorry for."_

" _It's just I've never done this before."_

" _What? Had a massage?"_

" _No! Well yeah I haven't really done that either…but I meant this. Us. A relationship. Usually when things get too…close…I bail, before…before things get too…umm…"_

" _Intimate?"_

" _Yeah."_

" _Does the idea of that make you nervous? Being intimate with me?"_

" _Kinda…"_

" _The intimacy itself or the fact I am woman?"_

" _Both…I dunno. It's silly."_

" _It's not silly Jayje. It's completely normal. Being with someone in that way, it's a big step, it's important. Whether it's with a man, or a woman it's still just as nerve wracking believe me. Can I tell you a secret...I'm nervous too."_

" _You are? Why?"_

" _I've always gone into relationships way to fast, got caught up in the moment and bam! Before I know it the relationship changes and it's all about being physical. I hate it. I don't want that for us."_

" _You don't?"_

" _No, one day yes of course, you're beautiful how could I not? Just not now. I want to spend my time getting to know you, Jennifer Jareau. I want to know what's going on in your head when you do that cute little side smile. I want to know everything you like, everything you hate. I want to know why freeze up during thunderstorms. I want to know why you don't like small spaces. Everything. I want you to know everything there is about me too, like a full disclosure. That terrifies me you know? I've never been so open with anyone, but I want to be with you, and I want you to trust me, the way I trust you."_

" _I do."_

" _Do, what?"_

" _Trust you. I always have. I know I don't always show it, but I do. I want all that with you too, you know the full disclosure? I want to know everything about you, and I want you to know about me, I really do…but it's been so long since I had someone I could really talk to about…everything… I don't really know how to."_

" _Me neither. That's okay though, we can help each other along the way."_

" _I'd like that."_

" _Me too."_

… _._

… _._

" _I don't just… not like small spaces…they scare me…being in them…I feel like I'm trapped and I'll never get out. That terrifies me._

" _You're claustrophobic?"_

" _I think so, yeah. All I know is that if I'm in a room and the door or windows aren't open I feel like I can't breathe. Like the walls are moving in on me. It's stupid."_

" _It's not stupid."_

" _Yes it is. I almost have a panic attack every time we're on the damn jet. I almost took your arm off when Garcia shut us in that closet because all I could concentrate on was the fact I was scared and that I couldn't get out."_

" _You can't help what you're afraid of any more than you can help your response to that fear. A phobia is a deep rooted fear it's not something you can control."_

" _Doesn't mean I should let it control me the way it does either though."_

" _You're right. But it doesn't."_

" _Doesn't what?"_

" _Control you. Every time we are on the jet, you're a bag of nerves, you're jumpy, you're anxious, and you run out of there as soon as you can. But you still get on."_

" _So?"_

" _That's you taking control. You don't let it control you. By getting on the jet in the first place you are taking control of your fear. Even though you know how it makes you feel being in that environment you still do it."_

" _I never thought about it that way..."_

" _You're stronger than you give yourself credit for."_

" _Maybe."_

" _Defiantly…Can I ask you something? When Garcia locked us in the cupboard in her office you we're having a panic attack then when you flipped me weren't you?"_

" _Yeah…I couldn't hear you…not at first…I couldn't concentrate on anything…then I felt you grab me and I started to be able to hear you."_

" _I held you because you were flailing around so much I was worried you were going to hurt yourself. It was weird though, when I touched your shoulder the first time you freaked…but when I held you, you calmed down almost instantly."_

" _I realised it was you…I can't explain it…I just felt…safe…it was like you were my anchor or something…you helped clear the fog in my mind."_

" _I'm glad. I want you to promise me something…if you feel yourself panicking, I want you to come and find me. We don't have to talk about what's happening, not if you don't want to. Just come and find me, you can hold my hand till the fog clears. I'll be you're anchor again, okay?"_

" _You'll be my anchor again?"_

" _Always."_

Splash.

It was freezing.

Splash.

The coldness from the water being thrown was starting to take effect.

Splash.

It had woken JJ up, brought her out of her memories again.

Took her away from Emily, again.

The force of the water hitting her hurt, it stung.

Splash.

She couldn't see clearly.

What was even being used to throw the water?

Why was it a constant stream hitting her in the face before traveling down her body?

Was that a hose of some sort the water was coming from?

That would make sense as to why the water just kept coming and coming, a bucket couldn't hold that much.

" _Ah, good you're awake. You know it really is very rude to go falling asleep when we were playing a nice game there."_ Sara teased after turning the hose off, stopping the flow of water.

" _Nice dream was it Jenny? I almost thought I would leave you to it, you had such a lovely little smile on your face. Then I remembered, it should be me smiling and having fun here, not you!"_ She continued with malice.

" _Was it about your girlfriend? Charlie said you were nice and tight, the best he's had in a long time. Was that you're first time with a man? Do you think Emily will ever touch you again knowing what a little whore you are? I've been trying to wash the dirt off of you, just won't seem to go, guess you need more than water to get rid of your filth."_ Sara continued with a smirk as she threw the hose down on the floor, moving away from JJ towards the side of the cave.

" _Stop it..."_ JJ replied weakly, she didn't have a lot of fight left in her.

Her body hurt.

Everywhere.

The lashes on her back and bottom stung.

Her arms ached from being chained up to the ceiling.

Her naked body was now wet and freezing.

She was pretty sure her ribs were broken in places now too, like Reid's.

She didn't even know if he was still alive or not, she hadn't seen him in what felt like days but was probably only a few hours.

She couldn't tell how much time had passed.

All she felt was pain.

And shame.

She hadn't wanted that, and she didn't want to be reminded of it.

He had forced her to open her eyes and watch him.

She saw the sickening smile on his face.

She felt his hot breath on her neck.

She felt the bruises begin to form on her thighs from the force of what he had done.

She felt like he had ripped her in half, not just her body but her soul.

" _Stop what?"_ Sara asked intrigued, coming from the corner carrying something behind her back.

" _Saying her name…you don't know her."_ JJ replied with more power than she knew she had right now.

She wouldn't let them talk about Emily, not her Emily.

Not the one person that was keeping her going through all this so far.

She couldn't let herself think of Emily like that, she had to believe her.

She had to believe and trust in Emily.

Trust that she meant it when she said she could never hate her.

That she loved her.

That she would always be her anchor.

" _Why, worried I'm right? Worried that she will see you for what you really are and just leave you here in my care? "_ Sara mocked, stroking her hand along JJ's back to feel her handy work smiling at the shiver it stirred in JJ at her touch.

" _She'll never leave me, us, here."_ JJ replied looking Sara straight in the eyes, fear be controlled she thought to herself, she wouldn't let her see how afraid she really was.

" _Still think that do you? How sweet. I paid her a visit earlier when you were getting busy with Charlie you know? Well not her exactly, but I left her a present. I wanted her to see you for who you really are, I wanted her to see what you did to your little friend out there. I wanted her to see that we were trying hard to beat the devil out of you."_ Sara said smugly, slapping JJ hard on her naked bottom.

JJ laughed.

Not just a little snort of laughter either.

A full blown belly chuckle that her body hugely protested about due to the pain it caused.

" _Do you want me to get the whip out again? What's so funny?"_ Sara asked angrily yanking on JJ's hair hard with one hand before slapping her again in the same spot on her bottom harder with the other.

"You." JJ replied, flinching slightly in discomfort, she was pretty sure the slaps had caused a welt to start bleeding again.

" _You just made her even more determined. She'll never stop looking now. I take it you delivered this yourself? To the station?"_ JJ said with a smile, she knew that Sara had from the look on panic that flashed across her face.

" _What of it? There's no cameras there, no one knows me. They won't even know I was there."_ Sara replied confidently.

" _Are you sure about that?"_ JJ asked, looking straight into Sara's eyes.

Sara tilted her head to the side looking at JJ through narrowed eyes.

Surely the girl was just trying to get into her head, Donnie had always told her she was annoyingly smart even as a child.

She was just trying to get her to lose her cool, get her to beat her unconscious again so she didn't have to feel the pain anymore.

" _You're bluffing."_ Sara replied not breaking eye contact.

" _Even if you're not, and by some miracle they find you, there will be nothing of you left. I don't know about Charlie, but I think we will kill the boy, keep you around instead, maybe you can watch? Yeah, that will be great, it will be so much fun. Just know this, I will destroy you before they get to you, before she gets to you. That's a promise."_ Sara said watching gleefully as JJ's eyes showed nothing but fear as she noticed what Sara had brought over with her.

A massive blow torch.

" _Donnie told me once how he used a fire poker on you this one to shut you up. Said it left a nice little scar. Also that he could smell the devil burning out of you as it touched your skin."_ Sara said as she picked the large blow torch up.

" _Not the same, but it should work just as well. I can't seem to wash the filth off of you, let's see if I can burn it out, shall we?"_ Sara said menacingly as she turned the blow torch on watching as the flame turned from a blue to a deep red.

Slowly she moved the flame over the skin on JJ's bare thigh, laughing at the ear piercing scream that left the blondes mouth when the flame came into contact with the her already bruised skin.

 **Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

" _You wasted a lot of time the other day you know, lying to agents Hotchner and Prentiss like that."_ Gideon said to the man across from him.

" _But that's what you were hoping for wasn't it Donald? To stall them, give Charles and Sara more time?"_ He continued starring the man in front of him down.

Garcia had managed to ID the woman that delivered the package to Emily at the police station as Sara Goulman, age 34.

After doing some digging they had found that Sara had once been engaged to Donald 'Donnie' Collins, she had been involved in the retrial, she had been part of Donnie's defence but her statement had been rebuffed due to the relationship and due to her not knowing Donnie at the time the murder had taken place.

She had moved to Savannah a few months after Donnie had been sent to prison there and had been there ever since.

She had recently been fired, a few months ago, from a courier company as parcels she was meant to be delivering kept going missing without a trace. The items never turning up.

It was that same courier company she had posed as working for at the station when she dropped of the envelope.

Emily and Hotch had visited the courier company to talk to the manager about Sara, which is when they had found out about the missing parcels and what items they contained.

All seemingly random items, but the kind that need a signature for proof of delivery due to what they were, too dangerous to go through normal delivery prompting the use of a courier.

Items that when grouped together in a list could be used to inflict a lot of damage and pain to a person.

" _I don't know what you're talking about."_ Donnie said, he didn't sound as convincing though, bringing up Sara had thrown him, just as Gideon had hoped.

" _Surely you remember Sara, the woman you proposed to?"_ Gideon replied.

" _What about her?"_ Donnie asked.

" _She left a parcel for Agent Prentiss earlier this morning. It had some disturbing photographs in it. We found more, not exactly the same but still disturbing, at her apartment in Savannah. It's not far from here, two more Agents are still there are we speak."_ Gideon said as he leant down to retrieve a small box from the floor by his chair looking over to Donnie afterwards, watching as his eyes widened just slightly when he caught sight of the box.

" _We found the originals of these at Sara's apartment."_ Gideon said as he slid the box along the table so it rested in front of Donnie.

" _I've never seen this before in my life."_ Donnie said not even looking down the box.

" _I find that doubtful, considering these were found hidden in the washing machine that you personally signed off as broken."_ Gideon replied, with a knowing smile.

After leaving the prison the other day Hotch had asked the guards to keep Donnie in isolation and search not only his cell but where he carried out his duties for any suspicious.

The box has been found earlier this morning.

" _Coincidence."_ Donnie said shrugging his shoulders.

" _I don't think so, considering what's in there. At the very least that box shows you out to be a stalker of a federal agent, if not an accessory in the murder of nine women and the abduction of two federal agents."_ Gideon said not breaking eye contact as he opened the box and spilled its contents out on the table.

Inside were hundreds of photographs and newspaper clippings of JJ, as well as newspaper clippings of the then missing, but now dead women that had been Charles's victims so far.

" _We already tested for prints. Yours we all over what's in here. As well as another set of prints that belong to Charles Tyln."_ He continued watching as the colour drained from the young man's face in front of him.

" _I am more than happy to make your life in here a living hell. To make sure you never see the light of day again. How bad it is, well that's up to you Mr Collins."_ He finished calmly.

" _I know him."_ Donnie admitted reluctantly with a sigh.

" _I know that. Knowing Charles was never the real question."_ Gideon said matter of factually.

" _Why ask then?"_ Donnie asked confused, why did they keep asking the same thing if they already knew the answer.

" _To get inside your head. People reveal the most when they think they are in control. You thinking we were dependant on you answering us about knowing Charles let us profile you. More information on Charles would have of course been and would still be useful, but it's not essential. You know the answers to all we need to know. You like being in control far too much to not know. This plan was probably yours to begin with. The first murder, that was all Charles trying to become the person you helped him believe he was. But the other eight murders and the abduction now. That's you, indirectly, but still you all the same."_ Gideon said, he didn't leave room for argument.

" _Charles, he loves you, he will do anything you ask of him. You protected him and helped him years ago, when you were both younger, from his father. You are like a brother to him. He will and does do anything you ask, he covered for you, for the murder you committed. What did you tell him? It would make him seem strong? That his dad would respect him more? That didn't work though, it made their relationship worse because he was found out. He lied to protect you. That was weak in his father's eyes and he was more than happy to tell Charles that. He felt weak again for the first time in years. He wanted to feel strong again. And there was victim number one, she was his opportunity to be strong again."_ Gideon said, he had figured out the same thought process Reid had JJ had before they were abducted from the notes they had left behind on the whiteboard in the teams office at Tybee Island.

" _He was so happy after he killed that first victim that he came to you. To show you that he was strong just like you told him. You saw this as an opportunity to gain the control back you had lost, so you coached him on how to hurt the other victims more, prepared him for now. Prepared him to help you gain back your control over Jennifer once again like you had over her when she was a child. The control Jennifer took from you when she told the police what she saw you do. You're punishing her and her mother all over again in your mind, without even having to lift a finger yourself."_ Gideon continued.

" _You're a horrible human being, the worst killer I have had to interview. Truly, I'm probably not being the most objective here, this is personal for me. I have so many questions I want to ask you but there is only one question, if answered correctly, which will help you right now though."_ Gideon said confident in the profile.

Donnie crossed his arms in front of his chest but didn't reply.

He didn't agree or refuse the statements, he said nothing.

Gideon was growing more and more impatient on the inside, two of his agents were missing having god knows what done to them and this joker was still playing a game that he started when just a child himself.

They had him, surely he had to understand that.

There was no getting out of this.

Gideon planned to make his life a living hell in prison from now on, and even if he didn't he was sure Emily would, he was sure the whole team would.

They were like a family in a way.

A true family, who protected and loved each other.

No matter what.

" _Where are they?"_ Gideon asked seriously, he was done playing games.

* * *

 **AN:** ooooooo sorry guys gotta leave it there for now, don't worry next update will be very very soon and you will want to stick around for it! Please drop me a review to let me know what you thought


	16. Death Would Be Too Good For You

Hi all, thank you again for all that are reading and for all that have left a review here is your next chapter as promised, hope you all enjoy, don't forget to let me know what you think I love hearing from you all.

 **MyCriminaIMind:** Thanks for your review, I'm glad you enjoyed the flashback, I wanted there to be a bit of light in the darkness for JJ, she really needed it, I think you guys as the readers did too. As for seeing more of Emily, well you deffo will in this chapter, hope you enjoy!

 **fallenangel1396:** Thanks for reading and for your review, I'm glad you are enjoying. Hope to keep you pulled in for the rest too! Let me know what you think of this latest chapter.

 **USCutie15:** Thanks for your review, as for is JJ and Emily will be together again in this one, well you will just have to read and find out, hope you enjoy.

 **Thalie57:** Thanks for your review and PM's glad you enjoyed the flashback I think it was needed not just for JJ but for you readers too! Yes Donnie wont be getting away with this, none of them will! Let me know how you find this next instalment.

 **TheLastShad0w:** Thanks for reading and for your review, I'm glad you are enjoying so far, even though this story is mainly Jemily I really wanted a strong team/family sense to the story as well so I'm really glad to hear its going as I wanted. Hope you enjoy the next update.

 **Rmpcmfan:** Thanks for your review, you right, if anyone can get through to a person to find out and get them to do what he wants its Gideon, lets hope it pays off!

 **Elphiemolizbethbau:** Thank for you your review, and your comments on my writing, that means a lot. I think you may like this chapter, Emily has her work cut out for her in this one but she comes out a trooper for sure, let me know what you think!

 **Guest who reviewed chapter 15 on August 23** **rd** **:** Thank you for your review, JJ may have been through a lot and is still going through a lot but she is strong it will take a lot to break her, and knowing that Emily will always be by her side gives her strength to keep fighting! Hope you enjoy this new update!

 **Letirreis:** Thank you for your review, Emily deffo needs to take care of her, hope you enjoy this update. PS. Omg! Loving your story, sorry it took me so long to find it!

 **WARNINGS:** **Violence, mentions of torture, language.**

* * *

 **Chapter Sixteen: Death Would Be Too Good For You.**

Quietly they made their way through the caves, guns out and ready, torches on top to light their way.

Gideon had got a little bit of information out of Donnie, but not much that could help.

Enough to lead them in the right direction though.

Donnie had reluctantly told Gideon of a place in the woods on Tybee Island at the back of the church, where he and Charles had played as children during family holidays they had there before Jennifer was even born.

A place deep in the woods where they had built a den near an old underground cave system that had been closed off for years due to being too dangerous for the public to enter.

Garcia had done some digging, she had to do this the old fashioned way though as these caves were not on any computer system blueprints or newer maps of the island.

She had managed to find a very old map detailing a small amount of information on the caves, while looking at the map route of the caves against the newer map of the island the team noticed something that stood out a little bit too much for their liking.

The underground caves spread out far on the island covering the whole woodland area as well as spreading out to be directly under the church.

Hardly no one even knew that they existed, those that did thought they had been completely destroyed years ago during the Tybee Island bomb explosion.

Everyone was running on high adrenaline, this was the place, it had to be.

This church held far too much importance to Charles, to JJ, to the whole case for it to not be.

They had found the black van near the entrance of the caves in the woods, far enough in that no one, unless looking for that specific area, would have been able to find it.

On entering the caves, they noticed it had been set up like a torture chamber, lots of smaller caves connected in the one big one underground cave, they had walked through rooms filled with nightmare educing tools and devices.

Garcia had wished she hadn't come after seeing some of those items.

She rarely came out in the field, she hardly ever carried a gun.

She couldn't have stayed though, she couldn't have not come.

Her team needed her, she needed to be here.

For JJ and for Reid.

That's what she kept telling herself.

She was doing this for JJ and Reid, she had to bring them home.

Clutching the gun that Gideon had insisted she carried for protection tighter, she made her way into another of the small rooms in the cave.

She could see light coming from it, she looked behind her briefly to see Gideon and two officers following her closely.

Taking a few steps into the room she froze for a moment her eyes wide, before snapping back into action.

There in the middle of the room was Reid.

He was tied to a chair.

There was blood everywhere.

His hair had been cut off jaggedly.

His face looked like one massive bruise.

His head was lolled to the side, he was barely conscious.

There were cuts and strange marks and bruises all over his chest are arms, he wasn't wearing a shirt.

The only thing stopping Garcia from running straight to him was the fact that Charles was stood behind him with a knife to his throat.

" _Come any closer and I'll end him."_ Charles threatened, the knife tightening against his neck.

Garcia stayed rooted to the spot, her eyes on Reid, her gun still aimed and ready, she wasn't sure enough of her abilities to take a shot though.

" _Drop the knife Charles."_ Gideon said as he came to stand next to Garcia, his gun also trained on Charles, he watched silently as Morgan and Emily came through another door behind Charles, blocking his exit that way.

He nodded to the officers behind him silently asking them to cover the third opening in the cave as he saw Hotch and a few more officers come through the fourth.

They had him surrounded now.

" _Drop the knife and get down on your knees."_ Morgan instructed from behind Charles causing him to look around for a moment, he could see he was trapped.

" _Don't even think about it."_ Emily said as she noticed him tense his arm holding the knife moving slightly.

" _I'll kill him!"_ Charles yelled.

" _I mean it! I'll kill him."_ He continued.

" _To what end?"_ Gideon asked lowering his gun and taking a step forward.

" _You know as well as I do if you move to kill him there will be a bullet in the back of your head faster than you can blink."_ He said simply.

" _You don't want to die, do you Charles? How will everyone hear your story, hear what you did to all those women if you're not around to tell them? You'll die down here in this cave and no one will know a thing about you. They will forget all about you, just like they did after they caught Sandra Collins real killer almost ten years ago. Is that what you want Charles? To be forgotten about? Just like before?"_ Gideon said taking another step closer trying to talk Charles down.

" _Shut up! I said don't come any closer!"_ Charles yelled the knife tightening again, causing Gideon to look at Morgan signalling to him not to shoot, not yet.

" _I can help you. I can make sure they know everything Charles. Make sure everybody knows about what you have done, about how strong you have become. They wouldn't be able to take it all away again this time, I won't let them."_ Gideon said inching slightly closer again.

He was now close enough to be able to see that Reid was still breathing, his chest rising and falling slowly, he was alive.

" _They would know everything, they wouldn't take it from me again?"_ Charles asked, his tight grip loosening just a little bit.

" _That's right, but before I can do that you need to give me the knife."_ Gideon said taking a step closer again, he was within arm's reach now, Morgan did the same behind Charles.

" _Everyone will remember me? They will know this was all me?"_ Charles asked looking from the knife to Gideon's face the back to the knife again, he was still unsure.

"I'll make it so they never forget you. That's a promise." Gideon assured him.

Gideon was confident in his profile, Charles treated these kills like trophy, to him being a killer was being strong. He wanted everyone to know he was strong, he needed everybody to know what he had done.

He knew that had him, he could see that he was close to giving in he just need to get the knife away from Reid before they took Charles down, they couldn't risk him being hurt any further.

Charles nodded and slowly handed Gideon the knife, he didn't want to die, he wanted to be remembered, he wanted people to know he was strong, they knew that now.

It all happened so fast, as soon as Gideon had the knife in his hand Charles felt himself being pushed down on the ground from behind, he felt cuffs being slapped around his wrists before being hauled up and pushed into the wall.

" _Tell us where Agent Jareau is now!"_ Morgan said after pushing Charles into the wall.

They didn't have time to waste, the needed to find her now.

They had no idea where she was and what state she was in.

" _Jenny? She's with Sara. It was her turn to play."_ Charles said with a smile, Sara was great at coming up with games, part of him was sad he was missing this one.

" _Where are they?"_ Morgan asked pushing him again more forcefully.

" _That way."_ Reid said weakly lifting his head.

It took almost all the energy had left to do so, he was tired, he was hurting but so was JJ and she wasn't safe yet, he wanted to help, he had to help.

" _She…took her that…way."_ He continued nodding towards the door where the officers were stood, the door Gideon had asked them to block.

The one entrance to this room that none of them had entered from, the area of the caves under the church that they had yet to get to.

" _Prentiss wait!"_ Morgan called out watching as Emily ran from the room through the entrance Reid indicated, her gun already drawn out.

Hotch and the officers quickly followed suit doing the same.

Garcia handed her gun to Gideon as she passed him and knelt down in front of Reid beginning to untie him from the chair.

She wanted to go with them too but she thought she would be better use here with Reid at the moment, she trusted that Emily and Hotch would get to JJ.

" _Hurry…she can't take much more…"_ Reid said weakly trailing off at the end, passing out from the pain his body felt, knowing he was safe now.

Gideon signalled to the two officers left in the room to take Charles and call for medics as Morgan also made his way through the cave entrance Reid had indicated.

 **xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

Emily ran through the caves as fast as she could checking every room as she went, she could hear something in the distance.

It sounded like someone was digging.

She could hear Hotch and Morgan calling her name, they were right behind her.

So were the officers.

She knew they should enter as a team but she just had to get to her.

Sara and JJ had been nowhere to be found yet.

Reid was badly hurt, he had barely conscious when she left the other room, it looked bad.

What they had seen on their way through these caves looked bad.

Was JJ in the same state as Reid?

Was she worse?

She didn't know, and right now she didn't care, all she cared about was finding JJ and quick.

She ran towards the digging sound and almost came to a complete stop when she entered the part of the cave the noise came from.

There was a bed in the middle of the room.

A single bed.

The sheets on it were stained in blood.

There were battery lanterns light the room up.

Near one corner of the room she could see movement out of the corner of her eye.

" _FBI! FREEZE!"_ She yelled.

There in the one corner of the room stood Sara she had a shovel in her hand, there was a newly dug patch of ground near her and a small pile of soil left to the one side.

" _DROP THE SHOVEL AND GET ON THE GROUND NOW!"_ Morgan yelled coming in behind Emily, his gun also trained on Sara.

Sara didn't, she looked at them and smiled wickedly before turning back to the pile of soil again intending to shovel some more of it.

 **BANG!**

The gun shot echoed around the cave loudly.

Sara fell to ground clutching her arm, where the shot had it her, tightly.

" _What the fuck!"_ Sara exclaimed loudly, she hadn't expected that.

It hurt.

She had never felt such a pain so suddenly like that before, in her mind she wished she had used guns on Jenny to, they hurt like hell.

She tried to get up but found herself being pushed back down to the floor, her face in the dirt.

" _Where is she?"_ Emily asked pushing Sara's head down to the floor further.

" _Tell me where she is!"_ She said louder, angrier.

" _Emily don't."_ Hotch said concerned.

" _Let us take her."_ He continued worried.

He could see the anger in her eyes, he could hear it in her voice.

He was worried she would do something stupid.

If Emily shot Sara again he wouldn't be able to protect her.

Emily had already disarmed Sara, she was not a threat to them anymore.

" _Think of Jayje Prentiss, she's going to need you. Don't do it."_ Morgan said slowly walking up to the pair on the floor.

He could see the anger in Emily's eyes too, he could see her hand slowly reaching back towards her gun again.

Emily looked to him for a moment before suddenly hauling Sara up by the arm she had been shot in causing her to shout out in pain.

Emily pushed her roughly into the cave wall before grabbing her cuffs and slapping them around her wrists, tightly, with her arms behind her back.

She wanted to kill her.

She wanted to shoot her for what she had done to Reid, Charles too.

She wanted to shoot her for anything she may have done to JJ.

She didn't even know if JJ was alive, she hoped to god that she was.

Morgan was right though, JJ was going to need her.

As much as she wanted to she couldn't kill Sara.

Not without losing herself too and Sara was not worth that, she didn't deserve the easy way out of this.

" _Death would be too good for you. I want you to suffer, I'm going to make sure you do."_ Emily growled out in Sara's face as she turned her around to face herself before pushing her forcefully towards Morgan.

Emily took a few deep breathes to calm herself while looking around.

They still had to find JJ.

Looking to floor she noticed something.

She had heard digging.

Though from the looks of the ground, Sara hadn't been digging something up, she had been burying something.

 _"Hotch…"_ She said her eyes wide.

Please, god no. please don't tell me they have, she thought to herself.

" _I know."_ He noticed it too.

" _We need more shovels now!"_ He yelled out to the officers around the cave before grabbing the one Sara had been using and beginning to dig up the soil, quickly.

 **xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

" _It's okay, I've got you."_

It's not okay, nothing is okay.

She didn't want them to have her.

She wanted this all to be over.

" _Open your eyes Jay."_

Someone was lifting her, she could feel an arm under her knees and an arm around her back before she felt herself being slowly placed down.

She closed her eyes tighter, she didn't want to look.

She braced herself knowing that pain would come soon.

She just wanted it to stop, she couldn't take anymore.

She wanted it to be over.

" _It's okay Jayje, you're okay."_

Who was that speaking to her?

She couldn't make the voice out.

Her mind was still all foggy, she couldn't concentrate.

" _Open your eyes beautiful."_

The voice sounded soft.

Warm.

Different to the voices she had been hearing for the last few days.

" _Baby look at me, its okay you're safe now."_

Safe?

She hadn't felt safe for days.

The last time she felt safe was in Emily's arms.

Wait.

The voice, it called her baby.

Only Emily does that.

" _Emily?"_ she whispered unsure, warily

This could be another trick, her mind playing with her.

Or Sara trying to confuse her.

" _I'm right here Jay, I've got you. Just open your eyes for me."_ The voice replied.

It couldn't be Emily, it was Sara playing tricks on her again.

Pretending to care just she could hurt her more, get her hopes up and smash them back down like when she smashed that nail into her hand.

It couldn't be Emily.

Could it?

She could feel someone stroking the hair out of her face, tenderly.

She couldn't remember Charles or Sara ever touching her that way.

There was only one person she knew that touched her with that much care.

Emily.

Please be Emily, she thought to herself as she slowly opened her eyes.

She couldn't see anything at first.

It had been so dark before, she had been suffocating in the darkness, trapped in that small coffin.

Sara had buried her alive.

She had been so scared, she had closed her eyes and tried to imagine she was anywhere but locked in that coffin.

She tried to block out the sound of the soil been thrown on the coffin.

Her breathing had become short and rapid due to the panic she felt.

Maybe she was still in there, maybe she was dying and her mind was trying to be kind to her.

Could it really all be over?

Was she dead?

She doubted that.

She had felt the coffin being lifted and shaken around before.

She had felt the oxygen begin to fill her lungs again.

She had felt cold air hit her naked skin making her shiver.

She felt too much to be dead.

She could feel all the pain from the beatings.

She felt cold and exposed.

She could feel soft hands holding her.

As her eyes adjusted to the light she could see she was lying across someone's lap as they sat on the floor.

She could see the coffin open to the side of her, seeing it there made her shiver even more.

She had thought that was going to be the end of everything in that coffin.

She thought she would never get out, she thought she was going to die.

What scared her the most was that she was almost relieved that she was going to die.

She had wanted it all to end so badly.

She couldn't take the pain anymore, the shame, the feeling of her soul being destroyed.

She had wanted it to all be over, she had wanted to die.

Almost.

The only person that had kept her going was Emily.

She wanted so bad for Emily to be here right now.

Whoever was holding her must have felt her body begin to shake, as one of the hands she felt on her naked skin began to gently rub up and down her arm.

" _You have no idea how happy I am to see those stunning blue eyes right now."_ The voice said from above her.

Slowly JJ turned her head to look up into chocolate brown eyes, Emily eyes.

" _Emily."_ JJ breathed out weakly as tears started streaming down her face.

She was overwhelmed with emotion she couldn't help it.

She had been so afraid and in so much pain, but one look into her girlfriends eyes brought her so much happiness.

In that moment she was glad she had held on.

Glad she hadn't given in and welcomed death.

Staring up into Emily's eyes she felt a sense of calmness wash over her.

She actually felt safe.

Suddenly she felt that safety slipping away, someone was approaching them, she saw a hand coming out of nowhere and flinched.

She heard Emily say something again but couldn't make it out, her mind was becoming foggy again.

She could hear shouting, she could hear Sara.

Her body tensed, she began to hyperventilate and tremble in Emily's arms, her eyes began to dart around wildly.

She could see Hotch trying to cover her with something.

She could hear Morgan yelling for a medic in the background.

She could hear talking from all around her, there were so many people here.

So many people that could hurt her.

She knew deep down that her team wouldn't ever hurt her, but she wasn't thinking straight right now.

She didn't want Hotch to touch her, she didn't want any men near her at all, she didn't want any more pain.

She just wanted Emily.

She trusted Emily, she would never hurt her, she was the complete opposite of Sara.

She didn't want them to take her away from Emily.

Right now she couldn't see Emily, she was stuck in her fear, all she could see was people who were going to try and hurt her.

" _No! Emily! Don't leave me. Emily!"_ She cried with more force then she thought she had right now in her panicked state.

In her mind she thought they were going to hurt her, they were going to take her away from Emily.

" _Hey, hey, it's alright. I'm right here, I'm not going to leave you I promise. I've got you beautiful."_ Emily said as she gently lifted JJ in her arms, drawing her in close to hug her carefully, mindful of her injuries.

The blonde was covered in deep red lash marks, burns, bruises, dirt, all sorts of strange marks and blood.

They were all over her, from head to toe, Emily didn't want to cause her anymore pain but she needed to calm her down.

She could see JJ was becoming more and more panicked with everything that was happening around her, it was just all too much for her right now.

It was breaking Emily's heart apart seeing her this way, so hurt, so untrusting and fearful of everything and everybody around her.

What the hell had they done to her?

" _Hotch, you need to get everybody out of here, now."_ Emily ordered while taking the blanket from him and wrapping it around JJ holding her tightly to her chest hoping if JJ could feel her close it would help to calm her.

" _I'm right here Jayje, I've got you. I'm not going anywhere I promise. I've got you."_ Emily said gently turning her attention back to her terrified girlfriend, rocking the both of them gently.

JJ was having a panic attack, she couldn't breathe.

She was terrified.

There was just too much going on in her head, she needed Emily, she needed her to be her anchor.

" _It's okay. You're okay. No one's going to hurt you, I promise. Just concentrate on me okay? I'm right here, I'm not going to let anybody hurt you. I've got you, baby, I've got you."_ Emily said gently, her one hand carefully guiding JJ's face upward to look at her, while the other still held her close.

" _That's it, just look at me. Just concentrate on me, I'm not going anywhere."_ She continued talking quietly looking into JJ's eyes as JJ stared into her own.

Slowly Emily felt JJ's body begin to relax in her arms, her breathing slowed again and her body stopped trembling as violently.

JJ started to move slowly curling herself into a ball and pressing herself as close to Emily as possible, her one hand slowly lifting to try and grab Emily's shirt.

She whimpered slightly when she found she couldn't, she didn't have the strength to life her arm high enough.

Emily felt warm and safe, right now that's all she wanted.

She wanted to just curl into her arms and never leave.

" _It's okay, I'm right here."_ Emily assured her hearing the whimper.

Knowing what her girlfriend wanted Emily gently clasped their hands together and lifted their joined hands to her lips kissing JJ's softly.

" _I need to you stay with me till the medics get here, okay?"_ Emily said squeezing the hand she was holding as she saw JJ's eyelids closing slowly.

" _..Tired…"_ JJ mumbled barely conscious, trying to open her eyes again.

She had no energy left, the panic attack and everything else that had happened to her in the last few days had completely drained her.

" _I know baby, but you have to stay awake. Come on open your eyes again for me."_ Emily said slightly panicked.

JJ couldn't open her eyes, she was so tired.

It was all catching up to her.

The pain and exhaustion.

The relief of being in Emily's arms again.

She felt herself drifting off to sleep, she could hear Emily talking, there was panic in her voice.

She couldn't respond though, she couldn't even make out what she was saying.

She just felt warm, protected, relaxed.

She felt peace.

* * *

 **AN:** I must admit I almost very mean and was thinking of leaving it before they got to JJ in this chapter, but I thought you guys would actually cyber kill me if I did that to you, so I left it here instead. Don't forget to review and let me know what you think.


	17. Chapter Seventeen: Protectors

Hey everybody, so sorry for the late delay again this week! Work was mega crazy, but that's what you get for working on bank holidays and doing double shifts as well as night shifts.

Thank you so much for everybody who has been reading and reviewing, I really love to hear from you all and I'm glad that I left the last chapter where I did or I think some of you deffo would have cyber killed me haha.

 **MyCriminaIMind:** Thanks for your review, haha I know right, im glad I did too I think it was needed, hope you like the next update.

 **Thalie57:** Thanks for your review and pm Emily did good didn't she, she really came through there for JJ and herself. Glad you enjoyed the chapter hope you enjoy the next one.

 **USCutie15:** Thanks for your review, glad you enjoyed, must admit I was a bit worried about that one and this next one, Hope you enjoy.

 **Kermidd:** Thanks for reading and for your review, I'm glad they have JJ back now too, still a long way to go for her though, hope you enjoy the update.

 **Elphiemolizbethbau:** Thanks for your review, uhoh I think I need an Emily to protect me ahha, I hope this chapter takes away your want to cyber kill me, let me know what you think.

 **Sinca:** Thank you so much for reading and for your review, I'm glad you thought so, pace is something I always worry about in writing, do I show enough, not enough, too much? Its good to hear I'm getting it right in the most cases. It would have been unrealistic for JJ's trauma to just suddenly be over, what shes been through in her childhood and now is not something you can truly forget, she will need time to heal and I hope I write that how it should be written. Hope you continue to enjoy the story.

 **102000QP:** Thanks for your review, I'm glad you enjoyed, Im glad JJ and Reid are safe now too, hope you like the next update.

 **Letirreis:** Thanks for your review, I know a proper emotional rolocoaster eh? There may be a few more like that yet, hope you like the update.

 **Kensi1997:** Thanks for your review, I'm glad you thought so, hope you like the next chapter.

 **fallenangel1396:** Thanks for your review, Im glad you enjoyed the rescue it was a long time coming, your right they have a lot to get through this chapter is just showing the start of it, hope you enjoy.

 **Guest who reviewed chapter 16 on august 26:** Thank you for your review, I'm glad you thought so, pace is something I always worry about and its good to hear I got it right. You are right the recovery will be hard for them all, you will see the start of it in this chapter hope you will continue to enjoy.

 **T-Rex Ninja Kid:** Thank you for reading and for your reviews, I'm glad you are enjoying the story so far and hope you continue to do so.

 **AN:** Righty on with the chapter, there's very little JJ in this one guys sorry, but you will see why when you read it. AS always let me know what you think by sending me a review or PM I love to hear from you all.

 **WARNINGS:** **Mentions of torture, sexual assault and violence.**

* * *

 **Chapter Seventeen: Protectors.**

" _Jayje?"_ Emily asked feeling a hand on her shoulder jarring her awake suddenly.

She looked up to see Hotch standing behind her looking at her in concern.

" _She's still the same. The doctors will be in soon to take her to do more tests."_ Hotch told her.

Looking away from him Emily's eyes fell to the bed where JJ was currently laying hooked up to many different machines, one of which was breathing for her.

She was in a medical induced coma.

She had been for two days since leaving the operating theatre here at Savannah hospital.

During the emergency helicopter flight to the hospital JJ had regained consciousness and panicked not knowing where she was and not being able to see Emily who was beside her.

She had thrashed around trying to get away from the medics so much that one of her broken ribs had pieced her left lung causing it to collapse and for her to bleed internally.

This, being added to the trauma her body had already sustained, had caused her to flat line just before they reached the hospital.

They had managed bring her back using shock pads only for her to flat line again on her way to the emergency room.

Emily had witnessed everything.

She had been there the entire time, holding JJ's hand, begging her to fight, telling her that she loved her and that she would never leave her.

She hadn't left her since JJ had been allowed visitors after coming out of the operating theatre.

Not for a time longer than it took her to use the toilet.

Not once.

She had been sat by her hospital bed holding her hand ever since she had gotten out of theatre.

She had eaten little food, only eating when the team practically forced her to, her hand still attached to JJ's while she did so.

She had barely slept, only doing so when tiredness overtook her and she fell asleep leaning on JJ's bed, still holding her hand.

She was a mess, the team were all incredibly worried about her, they knew JJ and Reid were in terrible shape, they didn't even know for sure if JJ would wake up.

They all had a lot to recover from.

All of them.

Hotch was pretty sure he would never forget the look in Emily's eyes when they met her and Garcia, who had accompanied Reid to the hospital, in the waiting room.

Her eyes had looked empty.

It was as though she had been frozen.

She had sat in a chair and not moved.

She hadn't spoken a word to any of them.

Garcia had pulled Hotch aside and told him what she had seen when JJ was brought into the hospital and rushed passed her towards the theatre. She had told him how Emily had been racing with the medics holding JJ's hand begging her to fight. How one of the medics had been on top of the stretcher, a leg on either side of JJ as to not hurt her while doing chest compressions on her lifeless body. How the doctors had rushed out to join them and the nurses had forcefully kept Emily back telling her she couldn't go into theatre with them and that they would let her know how JJ was doing as soon as they could. How Emily had just stopped, staying rooted to the spot, starring at the door JJ had been taken through until Garcia practically dragged her away to the waiting room and sat her down in the same chair she was sitting in when the rest of the team had turned up half an hour later.

An hour and a half after the team had arrived a doctor had come out to tell them that Reid was stable and was awake and that they could visit him but only two at a time as he was weak. They assured the team that physically he should make a full recovery from the torture he had endured.

He had broken ribs one of which had been close to puncturing his right lung. A broken arm in four different places. All the fingers on the hand of that same arm were broken. He had taken many blows to the head causing mass amounts of bruising as well as a serve concussion. He had wounds and marks on his torso that looked like the fading marks that shock pads leave, making the doctors believe he had been electrocuted. His lungs were inflamed and showed signs consistent with being drowned, repeatedly.

Gideon and Morgan had left to see him shortly after the doctor had left, they wanted to wait to see how JJ was, and to support Emily, but they knew Reid needed them too.

He would need his team now more than ever after all he had been through and they wanted to see for themselves that he was really going to be okay, physically anyway.

Hotch had promised to let them know as soon as they found out any news about JJ's condition, and had said he would be in to see Reid himself later too.

Roughly another hour had passed before another doctor, female this time, entered the room with news on JJ.

She informed them that they had managed to find and stop the bleeding and that for now JJ was stable enough to be moved to the ICU.

However due to the blood loss and JJ's brain being staved of oxygen for an unknown amount of time her condition was critical, the next 72 hours would be crucial.

The Doctor told them how JJ also had a lot of the same injuries as Reid had.

She had broken ribs, one of which had punctured and collapsed her left lung. She had marks on her skin similar to Reid being thought to have been from being electrocuted. She also had many large open lash marks all over her body, some were bone deep and had needed stitches to help the skin heal, and others they believed would heal naturally over time. She had lung inflammation consistent with repeated drowning. Her one hand was in a cast now and would require surgery at a later date to repair the nerve damage where it looked as though a large sharp object, possibly a nail, had been hammered into her hand repeatedly. She had burns of different degrees on her legs and arms, some on her stomach too. Some would heal by themselves, others may need skin grafting to heal without leaving a scar.

There had been more injuries too that the doctor had told them about, injuries Hotch did not wish to remember or repeat in his mind.

Injuries consistent with sexual assault, that confirmed his fear upon seeing those blood stained sheets on the bed in that cave.

After looking and the scene where they found JJ and Reid they had hopped their thoughts on that bed had not been true, but the doctor had all but confirmed their fears.

JJ had been raped, repeatedly.

She could have further complications than she already had due to this, she would need more medication, more tests to make sure there was not any permanent physical damage from what had happened to her.

" _We're ready for her now."_ A nurse said walking into the room bringing Hotch out of his thoughts and memories of what had happened two days ago.

He nodded watching as two other nurses followed her into the room, both of them moving to stand by the bed JJ was on, one of them on either side.

" _Emily? You need to let go of her hand."_ Hotch said grasping her shoulder again to get her attention, she had yet to even acknowledge the nurses in the room, her attention solely on JJ.

Feeling the pressure on her shoulder Emily looked around warily, still tired, to see three nurses were waiting patiently in the room, two of them by the bed one either side while the third was waiting by the ventilator machine, ready to wheel it and JJ out of the room.

Standing Emily released her grip on JJ's uninjured hand and slowly bent down to place a gentle kiss on the blonde's forehead.

" _I'll be here when you get back, I promise. Keep fighting for me baby. "_ Emily whispered softly in her ear, before standing back up and taking a step back to be in line with Hotch as the both of them watched the nurses wheel JJ and the ventilator out of the room.

" _Why don't you go freshen up Prentiss? Grab a shower, some food, take a walk. You can't just keep staying here all day every day."_ Hotch suggested.

" _I can't, not yet. I will when she's awake."_ Emily replied staring at the empty space JJ's bed was in moments before.

" _You and I both know when she wakes up you won't leave her side unless she tells you too. You need to take care of yourself too Emily."_ Hotch insisted worried about the agent.

She wasn't coping she couldn't compartmentalise this, none of them could truthfully.

" _I am taking care of myself."_ Emily replied stubbornly.

Hotch didn't say anything, he raised his eyebrows in response causing her to sigh.

She knew he was right, she did need to look after herself, she was going crazy staying in the hospital room watching the machines breath for JJ all day long.

" _If these tests go well they are going to try and take her off the machines today. She could be waking up any day now. She's going to need you when she wakes. She will need you rested and at your best."_ Hotch said, he knew he was only saying what Emily herself already knew, he just hoped that by him saying it, she would listen.

" _JJ would want you to take care of yourself. If you're not back I can ask them to wait before taking her off of the machines."_ Hotch suggested seeing the uncertainty about leaving in her eyes.

" _Okay."_ Emily relented, she knew he was right.

She really did need to shower at least, if nothing else.

" _You'll call me when they are back? You won't let them do anything without me here?"_ Emily asked, she needed to be sure.

She promised JJ she wouldn't leave her, she didn't want JJ to wake up without her there holding her hand, she wouldn't break her promise.

" _Of course."_ Hotch promised.

 **Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

" _I told you to get the – "_ Reid started shouting, stopping when he noticed who had entered the room.

Emily had been walking by on her way back to JJ's room when she had heard the commotion.

She had seen Garcia running out of the room almost in tears, soon to be followed by Morgan who looked defeated have just being told to leave Reid the 'hell alone' as he had put it.

They were both worried about Reid, he wasn't sleeping, he was refusing medication, he was angry.

He wouldn't let them help him, he wouldn't let anyone help him.

It was breaking Garcia's heart seeing him that way and not knowing how to help.

It was making Morgan feel powerless as he stood outside the room watching Reid scream in frustration using all the power he had to throw the jello pot he was trying to eat from across the room in anger when his hand wouldn't stay steady enough for him to be able to eat the jello.

" _Hey."_ Emily said softly, closing the door too, before leaning against the wall next to it.

Garcia had wanted to come back in herself, but Emily had insisted they let her try, she had yet to see Reid since the rescue, she owed it to JJ to at least try and be there for him, JJ wouldn't want him to go through all this alone.

" _Hi."_ Reid replied quietly, looking down he couldn't look her in the eyes

" _I'm not really a fan of that stuff either."_ Emily said lightly, seeing the jello pot on the floor that Reid had thrown in anger.

" _I like it…I just couldn't get my hand to…"_ Reid said trailing off as he lifted his arm shakily that wasn't in a cast.

Emily nodded.

That made sense.

Garcia had told her how he had been refusing any pain killers.

He was going through withdrawal systems and that with the pain from his injuries was making things difficult for him.

" _How is she?"_ Reid asked suddenly, bringing Emily out of her thoughts.

He knew of JJ's condition, it was one of the only things he openly asked anybody for.

Information on how JJ was doing.

" _Still the same. The doctors have taken her off for some tests. They think she might be ready to come off the machine but wanted to check on the swelling first."_ Emily replied gently, she could see he was worried about JJ, almost as much as she was, she didn't want to overwhelm him, she didn't want to lie either.

He looked up to the bright hospital lights blinking back tears.

He felt so much guilt, he didn't know how to express it.

" _This isn't your fault, you know that right?"_ Emily said, she had seen his reaction, she could see the guilt in his features.

She needed him to believe her when she said this wasn't his fault, mainly because it wasn't, but also because JJ would not want him blaming himself.

" _I should have done more to protect her…the day you found us, I was so high from the drugs they kept injecting me, injecting us, with. I should have fought harder to protect her, but instead she was protecting me….she let them lock her in that coffin to protect me, it was my fault they did that to her…they told her they would kill me if she didn't do as they wanted…I promised I would protect her and I failed."_ Reid saidholding tears back as he spoke.

" _What happened to Jayje is not your fault. She protected you because she cares about you and didn't want you to get more hurt than you already were. I'm sure some of your injuries came about the same way with you protecting her, does that make it her fault that you got them?"_ Emily asked, she needed Reid to know this wasn't his fault.

" _Of course not! None of it is her fault, she didn't deserve any of those, things, they did to her, they kept saying they were teaching her a lesson…but she didn't deserve it."_ Reid insisted agitated.

" _Neither did you. What happened to you and Jayje is not your fault, nor is it hers. You said it yourself, the things that 'they' did. Charles and Sara. They did this. They are to blame."_ Emily replied simply emphasising the 'they'.

" _What happened to you both was completely out of your control and no way your fault. You have absolutely nothing to feel guilty about. Jayje would not want you feeling guilty and blaming yourself over what happened to her like I'm sure you wouldn't want her to do the same over what happened to you."_ She continued.

Reid looked down again, this time to floor where his jello pot had landed.

He knew what Emily said was right, he knew that but he just couldn't stop feeling guilty.

He was here, he was awake, and he was sat up in bed talking while JJ wasn't.

She wasn't even conscious.

They still didn't know for sure if she would have brain damage from what happened or not.

They didn't even know for sure that she would wake up again any time soon.

She wasn't able to ask anyone for help, while he was pushing everybody away, refusing help.

He didn't even know why.

He knew that he needed help, so why couldn't he accept it?

" _I don't know how to ask."_ He whispered out still staring at the jello pot, not realising he had spoken out loud.

Emily had heard him though, loud and clear.

She understood what he meant, she was a good profiler after all.

Pushing off from the wall she slowly made her way over to the bed, picking up a fresh pot of jello and a spoon from the wheelie table by the bed.

She pushed the table further down the bed to give herself more room to sit next to Reid before opening the jello pot lid and placing a small amount on the spoon.

" _What are you doing?"_ Reid asked.

" _Helping. Now eat up."_ Emily said moving the spoon with the jello on in front of Reid, leaving the rest to be his choice.

She was willing to help him, he just needed to accept the help.

Reid looked from Emily to the spoon to Emily again, unsure, before slowly leaning forward and eating from the spoon.

" _The nurses can give you something to help with the pain and the withdrawals if you ask them."_ Emily said while scooping some more jello on to the spoon for Reid.

" _I don't want anything. I don't like how it makes me feel."_ Reid responded before taking another spoonful of jello from Emily, his uninjured hand sloppily rubbing along the veins in his arm where the needles had been injected.

" _I can ask them if there is something that won't make you drowsy, something that can be added to the drip rather than injected, if you'd like me to?"_ Emily asked the profiler in her figuring out why he had been refusing the medication.

She reloaded the spoon again and offered it to Reid who ate the contents quickly before nodding to her, allowing her to look into this for him, he knew she was right, he needed something for the pain if not for the withdrawals too.

They continued in silence for a few minutes as slowly Reid accepted each spoonful Emily offered him, both of them comfortable enough with each other's company for the situation to not be awkward.

" _Are you still hungry? I can find some more."_ Emily asked placing the now empty jello pot and spoon down on the table behind her.

" _No I'm good. Thank you."_ Reid replied with a small smile causing Emily to smile back.

He had a long road to recovery, Emily knew that, but he was trying.

He accepted the help that she offered, he knew she and the team were there when he needed them.

" _Okay."_ Emily said softly.

" _Didn't you say they were going to take JJ off the machines soon?"_ Reid asked after a few moments of silence.

" _Hopefully, if she's stable enough and the swelling in her brain has gone down enough, yeah."_ Emily replied looking down at her watch to see the time, she had been gone just over an hour now, the tests would be over by now.

" _You should go, I'll be okay. Morgan and Garcia are probably still out there listening in anyway."_ Reid said looking to the door and then back to Emily seeing her looking at her watch.

" _Probably yeah."_ Emily said with a small smile, Garcia would be for sure she thought to herself.

" _Does that phone have credit?"_ Emily asked looking towards the phone set on a trolley to the side of Reid's hospital bed and then looking back to Reid to see him nod.

" _So does JJ's. I'll have Garcia get you the number. Okay?"_ Emily said waiting until Reid nodded in response before she got up from the bed to leave.

She wanted him to know even if she wasn't physically there with him like she had been just now, that she was still here for him, all he had to do was call and ask.

She made her way towards the door and was about to open it before she paused.

" _Hey Spencer?"_ She asked seriously.

" _Yeah?"_ Reid replied concerned, Emily never called him Spencer, always Reid.

" _You're wrong you know, about what you said earlier."_ Emily said turning back around to face Reid.

" _About what?"_ Reid asked confused.

" _About not protecting Jayje. You were so out of it when we got to you so I'm not sure you even remember this, but it was you that told us where to find her. It may have been Morgan and Hotch that dug up the coffin, it may have been me that pulled her out of it, but we only got there in time because of you. You protected her more than realised. She's only alive, she only has the fighting chance she does now because of you. You saved her life. I need you to remember that okay? When you feel guilty, when things get dark, just remember that you protected her and she protected you."_ Emily said gently with a smile, tears in her own eyes before walking out the room.

* * *

 **AN:** Sorry for those that wanted more Jemily in this chapter, but I thought it was important for a more Emily based chapter, and Hotch too. I promise there will be more JJ in the next one, let me know what you all thought.


	18. Chapter Eighteen: The Story

Hey guys, I'm back. There's not a lot of the team as a whole in this one, it focuses more on Jemily moments with a few others in there too, but there will be more of the team in the next one I promise.

Thank you all so much for reading and reviewing, I forgot to mention in the previous chapter author notes but we have hit and passed **100 reviews!** That's amazing guys! Thank you so much to everybody, I hope you all continue to enjoy what's left to come with the story.

 **Sinca:** Thank you for your review, I'm glad you enjoyed the last chapter, I have a feeling this one may leave you feeling a little bit giddy too! Hope you enjoy, let me know what you think.

 **MyCriminaIMind:** Thank you so much for your review, hearing coments like that are amazing and make feel as though I am getting the points across I want in this story so thank you for that. I'm sorry I made you cry, maybe keep some tissues at hand ready for this one, it's a little bit emotional as well. Let me know what you think.

 **USCutie15:** Thank you for your review, I'm really glad you enjoyed the chapter, I didn't write a lot of Reid during the abduction sequences so felt it was important to have so more in depth time with him now. You're wish for more Jemily will be granted here, hope you enjoy!

 **102000QP:** Thank you for your review, I'm glad you enjoyed, a lot of this story is written more in JJ's pov and perspective, it was good to be able to delve more into Emily's. Hope you enjoy this next chapter.

 **fallenangel1396:** Thank you for your review, I'm really glad you enjoyed the chapter, I can imagine it had an impact with that song, it is a beautiful song, this next chapter had a song mentioned in it that also fits very well. Let me know what you think.

 **Elphiemolizbethbau:** Thanks for your review, I'm glad you enjoyed, don't worry I love writing Jemily there will be plenty of them to come, hopefully this chapter makes up for the lack of in the last chapter.

 **visje97:** Thank you for reading and reviewing, I'm glad you are enjoying the story and hope you continue to do so, let me know what you think of this latest update.

 **T-Rex Ninja Kid** : Thanks for your review, I'm glad you enjoyed that chapter, it was good to write in Emily's perspective more, as for JJ's well you will have to wait and see, and also hope that Reid will listen and take in what Emily had said to him, hope you enjoy the update.

 **Letirreis:** Thank you for your review, I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter, your right it will be hard for the team having two of their own injured, we will be touching more on the fact in the next chapter after this one. Hope you enjoy the update.

 **Secondary Disclaimer** **:** I do not own the song mentioned in this chapter, those rights solely go to the creators.

 **WARNINGS:** **Mentions of violence.**

* * *

 **Chapter eighteen: The Story.**

" _Hey beautiful. It's me again, I'm sorry I left you for a while before, Hotch insisted I rest up somewhere other than this hospital chair for the night."_ Emily said as she leaned over the hospital bed to place a gentle kiss on a sleeping JJ's forehead.

The tests the other day had gone really well and the doctors had taken JJ off of the machines, they also started to wean JJ off the drugs they had her on to induce the coma.

The doctors were confident that JJ should wake up any day now, she no longer had drugs in her system keeping her asleep.

She was now only asleep due to her body still believing it needed the rest, which in truth is probably did, she had been through a lot.

They believed when she was strong enough she would awaken.

Hotch Garcia and Gideon had finally convinced Emily last night, to go back to the hotel they had been staying in when not at the hospital, to get a full night's proper rest.

All of them fed up seeing her slummed in a hospital chair half asleep on JJ's bed side, not taking care of herself, they knew JJ would be furious with them if they didn't at least try to get Emily to take better care of herself.

Garcia had promised to stay with JJ the whole night and to call her if the slightest sign of her waking up occurred, even if all that happened was that her eyelids moved a small fraction.

Nothing had happened through the night though, JJ had still been seemingly peacefully asleep the whole night, not moving the tiniest bit other than the slow steady lifting and decreasing of her chest as she breathed in and out, all on her own now.

Last night had been the first time Emily had left JJ's side again since visiting Reid, she had not wanted to break her promise to JJ.

She had promised JJ that she would be with her, holding her hand when she woke up, there was no way she was breaking that promise.

She had also kept her promise to Reid.

She had spoken to the doctors and they had managed to administer drugs through the IV drip to help with his withdrawals and pain, he was now doing a lot better because of this.

They also spoke regularly on the phones in both his and JJ's room over the last few days.

Even though she hadn't seen him in person she had noticed a small improvement through the conversations they had been having.

He was nowhere near his old self yet, but his concentration was improving, as well as his confidence to ask questions and begin to ask for what he needed.

" _The doctors think you will be waking up any time now, I'm glad you waited for me to come back though, I want to be the first thing you see when you open your eyes, just like I promised you."_ Emily continued while taking a seat in the hospital chair that had become hers these last few days dropping her bag to the floor as she did so.

" _Have the doctors been in to check on her yet?"_ Emily asked picking JJ's un-casted hand up in her own before turning to Garcia who was still in the room on the opposite side of the bed sat in an identical chair to Emily.

" _You just missed Dr. Marsh. She said our sweetness is doing really well, her brain activity has improved a lot over the last couple of days, she doesn't think it will long now. She's ready to wake up physically."_ Garcia said explaining what JJ's doctor had told her with a smile.

The last few days have been terrifying for Garcia, for the whole team.

Reid had been all but a shell of his former self and up until two days ago they didn't even know that JJ would ever wake up again for sure.

Garcia didn't know if she would ever be able to talk to her Gumdrop again.

The increased brain activity had been the sign they needed to show she was coming back from the darkness her body and mind had fallen into.

She was slowly coming back to them, to her team, to her family.

" _You hear that Princess? The doctor says you're ready. You're a fighter Jennifer, you always have been and always will be. You fight your way back to me baby."_ Emily whispered in JJ's ear before kissing her cheek, her one hand coming up to stroke the blonde's hair out of her face.

" _Thanks for staying with her last night. I didn't know how tired I was till my head hit the pillow. It really helped ease my mind knowing you were here with her though."_ Emily said looking to Garcia with a smile as she leant over the hospital bed still stroking JJ's hair tenderly.

" _Of course, no need to thank me. I was more than happy to spend time with my Gumdrop."_ Garcia replied with a smile watching as Emily turned her attention back to JJ whispering something she couldn't hear into her ear.

Seeing Emily this way almost brought tears to Garcia's eyes.

Emily was loyal, she was protective, she was fierce, she was strong and she was scary at times.

Those that truly knew her, knew she was sensitive and compassionate and extremely caring.

Garcia had never seen her this way though.

She had never seen so tender, so raw, so open.

Usually she kept her emotions hidden away.

She didn't let people see how she truly felt, but these last few days whether it was from tiredness or just purely no longer caring as she had far too much going on, Emily had bared her soul for all to see.

The love Garcia felt coming off her in waves towards her friend was heart quenching.

It was clear to anyone who walked into this room that Emily Prentiss loved Jennifer Jareau deeply.

With so much passion and force that she could and would burn down entire nations just so she could hold her girlfriend in her arms.

So much so it almost felt as though she was intruding, being here with them.

She knew that was stupid of her to think that way, but she couldn't help it.

" _I'll leave you lovebirds alone."_ Garcia said standing from her chair and stretching.

" _You don't have to go."_ Emily replied.

" _I know, but I'm sure you want some time alone with her, and I was going to go see how Smarty-Pants is doing today."_ Garcia said picking her bag up from the floor and walking over to the other side of the bed where Emily was sat.

Emily nodded and smiled at Garcia watching as she picked up her jacket from a small wheelie table to the side of the room near the door.

" _Tell Reid I'll call him later."_ Emily said standing to briefly hug her friend before sitting in her chair again, re-attaching her hand to JJ's.

" _Will do Emilino, will do. Right my fluffiness's I'm off. Adios Amigo's."_ Garcia called out as she left the room, causing Emily to shake her head and roll her eyes.

" _You see Jay? You gotta wake up soon and save me from her. She's nuts."_ Emily joked to the still sleeping blonde beside her, leaning down to pick up her black bag.

Placing the bag on her lap she began to search through it with her free hand that was not holding JJ's.

After a few moments she pulled out an IPod and earbud headphone set.

" _I saw online somewhere that music is a really good stimulation for when someone is coming out of a coma, apparently it helps to focus the mind. So I thought we should give it a go."_ She said while turning the IPod on and scrolling through to a playlist entitled 'Date Songs'.

" _You might recognise this playlist. It's the one you made when you tried to cook for me that one time and we ended up eating burnt macaroni cheese. You always have been a terrible cook. I'll teach you when you wake up, like I said I would."_ Emily said as she pulled her chair a little bit closer to JJ's bed before carefully placing an earbud in JJ's one ear, then placing one in her own.

She scrolled through the playlist until she found the song named 'The story' by Sara Ramirez, hitting play with a small smile as the music began to softly play in both her and JJ's ears.

" _We've only just began our story, when you wake up we can spend our days finishing it together. No matter what happens I'm not going anywhere, I promise."_ Emily said leaning in close to JJ so she could place her head gently on her chest feeling comforted by the steady rise and fall of her girlfriend's chest and the music that was playing softly.

 **Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

" _Knock, knock."_ Garcia said as she knocked on the hospital room door four hours later causing Emily to pull her earbud out and turn around to look towards the door.

" _I have a visitor for you."_ Garcia said excitedly poking her head around the door, her body and arms still hidden causing Emily to look at her confused.

" _Ta da!"_ Garcia said as she came into the room fully, pushing Reid in a wheelchair in front of her, a huge grin on her face.

" _I see you ditched the hospital bed for a new set of wheels."_ Emily said with a smile to Reid who shrugged his good shoulder back in return.

" _His doctor said he's getting stronger and as long as he uses the chair he doesn't have to be in bed all the time. So we thought we would save you a phone call and come and see you, right oh smart one?"_ Garcia said directing her last part to Reid, speaking like her usual bubbly self.

It was how she coped when things got tough.

When she was worried about something or someone, she would be even more bubbly than normal, use even more pet names, say even crazier phrases than normal.

The team had all been expecting her to be in 'bubbly overdrive' as they had dubbed it, and so far she had not disappointed.

Emily smiled softly to Garcia, she knew she was just trying to help in her own way, before turning her attention back to Reid.

He did look stronger in a way.

His eyes seemed less nervous, they were darting around less.

He was sitting up a little straighter in the wheelchair he was in, the pain medication he was now on obviously helping with the pain from ribs and other injuries.

Reid didn't notice her looking at him, his eyes were fixated on the bed.

Fixated on JJ.

It had been days since he had seen her last.

The last time they saw each other was present in his mind all the time, like a recurring nightmare he couldn't shake.

The look in her eyes as she saw the bat held above his head.

The scream of 'Spence' that left her when Charles had smacked the bat full force into the wall behind his head as a warning.

The way she froze when they brought that coffin out.

The whimper he heard leave her lips when they closed the coffin lid locking her in.

" _What were you listening too?"_ Reid asked quietly noticing the earbud on the bed next to the IPod, using that to distract himself from looking at JJ, from remembering the terror in her eyes.

" _Hmm?"_ Emily asked, not hearing the question at first, too busy thinking about all the little changes she could see in Reid since the last time she saw him.

" _It was a playlist Jayje made for one of our first dates."_ Emily replied her brain catching up with what Reid had just asked her.

" _She attempted to cook for us and we ended up eating burnt macaroni cheese listening to the songs on here."_ Emily continued smiling at the memory as Reid watched her intently.

" _You ate what she cooked?"_ Garcia asked shocked from where she stood behind Reid's wheelchair.

" _You are brave woman Emily Prentiss. Remember when Morgan lost a tooth eating one of the muffins she made."_ Garcia said fondly with a laugh.

Her laughing only increased more as Emily chuckled and Reid smiled a small smile looking back towards the bed where JJ was laying.

Garcia almost felt like crying.

That was the first time she had truly laughed in days.

The first time in days she had seen a genuine smile on both Emily and Reid's faces.

The first time since all this happened that she felt like there was a small chance that eventually they would be okay.

All of them.

" _Do you want to talk to her?"_ Emily asked softly to Reid after a few moments of silence when she had noticed him staring to the bed JJ was in looking unsure of what to do with himself.

She watched as his eyes snapped back to her own quickly before he swallowed, playing with the edge of his cast on his one arm.

" _I don't know what to say."_ He replied honestly after a pause.

" _Neither do I half the time."_ Emily said, briefly looking up at Garcia telling her with her eyes to move Reid closer to the bed.

Getting the hint Garcia did, she wheeled Reid right up to the bed, so he was sat in his chair right next to Emily who carefully took the earbud out of JJ's ear with her one hand the other still holding JJ's hand.

" _Just tell her whatever comes to mind, I bet she will be glad to hear your voice. She must be bored of us talking to her all the time."_ Garcia joked from behind Reid, watching as Emily leant down to kiss JJ's forehead before letting her hand go and standing from her chair.

" _I like to think it helps her, knowing that we are here."_ Emily said placing a hand on Reid's good shoulder giving a gentle squeeze before walking towards the door, Garcia following closely behind.

" _Hey."_ Reid said after a sigh, taking the hand that Emily had been holding in his own uninjured hand softly before looking up to JJ's face.

" _I need to confess something to you… I know we both promised each other that we wouldn't blame one another or ourselves for what happened down there, but I do… You, you almost died because of me."_ He continued trying to hold back tears.

" _I was so angry with you, when you let them beat you like that and lock you in that coffin. I thought you had given up on yourself, on me, on the team."_ He said looking up to the hospital bright lights on the ceiling letting out another long sigh.

" _It wasn't until I spoke to Emily the other day that I realised I was wrong."_ He continued looking back to JJ again.

" _You didn't give up at all. I realised you did that to protect me, the same way I let them drown me to protect you… Sometimes I wish you hadn't. I wish you had let him beat me to death with that bat, so I don't have to feel this way. So I don't feel like I do now… Guilty."_ He said sadly, the tears he tried to keep back slowly rolling down his cheeks.

He looked behind him slightly to see Emily and Garcia just outside the door deep in conversation, before turning back slowly as to not make his injuries hurt more.

" _Emily told me you wouldn't want me to feel guilty about what happened, and she's right I know you wouldn't, but I can't stop myself... I don't think I will be able to until you're here with me… I can't do this without you."_ He said, squeezing her hand a little tighter.

For a moment he thought he felt her squeeze his hand back at his second mention of Emily, just for a moment.

He knew it was probably just his mind playing tricks on him though, looking at JJ's face there was no change, she hadn't moved.

He must have imagined it, his hoping and wishing for her to wake up causing him to imagine things.

" _Emily. She, she's been amazing. I can see why you two work so well together, why you love her the way you do… You we're scared you wouldn't get the chance to tell her, but you have that chance now. She is everything you told me she was and more. She's helped me much, more than I think she even realises she has... But she needs you, you know? That's why you have to wake up JJ, Emily needs you to wake up, she needs to hear that you love her like she loves you."_ Reid said before looking down at JJ's hand that was in his own confused, he could have sworn that he felt her hand tighten in his own again.

" _Emily."_ He said turning slightly towards the door letting go of JJ's hand in the process.

As he turned he heard a groan, looking back to bed he could see JJ's eyelids twitching slightly.

" _Emily!"_ He called louder, gaining both her and Garcia's attention from the door way.

" _What is it? What's wrong?"_ Emily said in worry as she rushed back into the room towards Reid.

" _Look."_ He said, watching JJ's eyes twitching, her fingers in the hand he had be holding began to twitch now as well.

" _Jayje, it's Emily, I'm right here. Can you hear me?"_ Emily said softly after moving the chair she had been sat on out of the way and bending over the bed to lean closer to JJ, her one hand cupping JJ's cheek tenderly stroking her skin softly.

Garcia stood behind Reid again having followed Emily into the room.

She squeezed his good shoulder gently as he looked up at her, hope in his eyes.

Garcia smiled to him before they both watched the scene in front of them.

JJ was waking up, she was coming back to them.

Garcia gasped as she saw JJ's head roll gently from side to side, her eyes opening the closing again just for the briefest of moments.

" _Come on Jay, open your eyes for me baby."_ Emily encouraged, still stroking her cheek softly with tears in her eyes.

Emily, Garcia and Reid all held their breath as they watched JJ groan once more before her eyes opened again slowly and tiredly blinking a couple of times before focussing on Emily's face.

" _Hey beautiful, welcome back."_ Emily whispered with a smile, tears of happiness flowing down her cheeks as she looked into JJ's eyes.

She couldn't stop them.

She was just so happy, so relieved.

" _I'll go let the doctor know."_ Garcia said waiting for a nod of confirmation from Emily before dashing from the room to find JJ's doctor and the rest of the team.

Emily watched as JJ slowly lifted her hand frowning, before using shaky fingers to try and brush Emily's tears away.

" _D-don't…cry."_ JJ croaked out her voice horse and dry.

" _Shhhh, I'm okay, these are happy tears."_ Emily said using her free hand to remove JJ's hand from her face holding it gently, her lips grazing JJ's knuckles while still looking into her eyes.

" _Spen-ce?"_ JJ croaked out, her forehead wrinkling in worry for her friend, her mind was foggy.

She couldn't fully remember everything that had happened, but she could remember the last time she had seen Reid he was in danger, Charles had threatened to kill him, for real this time.

Her eyes widened in fear remembering Charles, she didn't want to remember him or anything that had happened in those caves.

She tried to focus her mind on the room she was in now and how it was different to those caves, the fact this room was light and airy, spacious, open.

She could feel Emily holding her hand and stroking her cheek keeping her grounded.

Keeping her anchored.

Keeping her safe.

" _I'm here."_ Reid said from Emily's side, leaning towards the bed the best he could in his wheelchair.

" _S-spence?"_ JJ chocked out tears coming to her eyes, as she tried to look for him.

She couldn't see him, she needed to see him to know that he was okay.

That he was alive.

Emily seeing this moved back ever so slightly so JJ could see him, see that he was here with her.

She watched as relief flooded her girlfriend's features at seeing their friend.

" _You're both safe now, everything is going to be okay, I promise. I love you Jayje, I love you so much."_ Emily said watching as JJ's eyes slowly looked back up into her own eyes smiling tiredly at her before resting her head closer to the hand that was gently stroking her cheek.

Emily loved her.

Emily was here.

Emily promised her everything would be okay and JJ wanted nothing more than to believe her.

So for now, she let her mind stay foggy and just concentrated on Emily.

Her soul mate.

Her anchor.

Her love.

* * *

 **AN:** I know this is far to mushy…but I wanted to write some Jemily mushiness, hope you all enjoyed, don't forget to review and let me know what you think.


	19. Chapter Nineteen: Clarity

Hello all, I'm so sorry for how late this chapter is getting to you. I had a slight accident at work this past weekend and landed myself in hospital. I'm home now and I will be fine don't worry! Although I do now have a cast on my one hand much like Jayje, as you know this makes typing a little bit slower but still possible.

Thank you all again to everybody who is reading and reviewing my story here and the one shots too, the support I get from you all is amazing and I hope you continue to enjoy whats to come with both sets of stories.

 **fallenangel1396:** thank you for your review, it's a great song, Hope you enjoy whats to come.

 **MyCriminaIMind:** thank you so much, haha sorry for killing you song, but your right it is an amazing one, hope you continue to enjoy whats to come.

 **Thalie57:** thank you so much for your reviews and pm's, I love to hear from you. Glad you enjoyed and I think you will love this chapter, plenty Jemily. Let me know what you think.

 **Guest:** Thank you for your review, yeah JJ is back, she has a long way to go and its just getting started this chapter will give you a small glimpse into her mindset at the moment.

 **Elphiemolizbethbau:** thanks for your review, haha your right of course there isn't. This one may be a slight bit mushy at times too, hope you enjoy.

 **USCutie15:** Thanks for your review, haha, if you going to arrest me, just mind the hand okay? Lol. Glad you enjoyed, hope you enjoy this one and whats to come as well.

 **Sinca:** Thank you for your review, im glad you thought so, let me know what you think of this next chapter too.

 **Rmpcmfan:** Thanks for your review, hope you continue to enjoy.

 **102000QP:** Thanks for your review, glad you are enjoying the interactions, this chapter is mainly Jemily based which I hope you enjoy, but I think you will really love the next one too. Let me know what you think.

 **T-Rex Ninja Kid:** Thanks for your review, that's good to hear, makes me think you will really enjoy this chapter then, it's a big step for JJ here, let me know what you think.

 **Letirreis:** Thank you for your review, haha that's true its hard not too love the mush, hope you continue to enjoy where the story goes, let me know!

 **AN:** on with the chapter, time for a bit more insight in to how JJ's mind is working at the moment, hope you enjoy, just so you know this is set one week after JJ had woken up, it's a small time jump I felt was needed.

 **WARNINGS:** **Mention of torture, violence, suicide.**

* * *

 **Chapter Nineteen: Clarity.**

It had now been a week since JJ had awoken.

A week filled with fear, pain, confusion, panic, and soft, safe, reassuring embraces.

A week filled with sleepless nights, with hushed tones, gentle and careful touches.

A week filled with love and fear.

JJ had been so afraid of the slightest noise or movement at first.

The fear was primal almost, and it shattered Emily's heart to pieces to see her this way knowing there was very little she could do to help.

All she could do was talk to her until JJ had calmed down enough to realise it was Emily in front of her and not one of the monsters from her childhood or the cave that had hurt her.

In those moments where the fear induced fog cleared the blondes mind Emily would see absolute relief flood her girlfriends features for the briefest of moments before she would throw herself into Emily's awaiting arms shaking with fear until tiredness took over and she fell into a restless sleep exhausted.

Unfortunately this happened more often than any of the team or doctors and nurses from the hospital would have liked in the early part of the week.

To the extent that the nurses had been considering moving JJ to the psychiatric ward to begin with.

That was until Emily had had a rather serious chat with JJ's main Doctor, Dr. Marsh, and the two of them came to the conclusion that it would do JJ more harm than good at this stage.

The best way to deal with JJ's fear filled panic attacks was to figure out what triggered them in the first place and how best to help calm her when they were triggered.

It had been hard to pin point the exact things that were triggering JJ to begin with due the fact that after becoming more awake and alert JJ had stopped talking unless extremely frightened.

This left the team having to profile her every action and reaction to try and find the triggers that scared her, so that they and the hospital staff could try to prevent it from happening in the first place.

So far they had learnt that sudden fast movement was a trigger that would cause JJ to curl into herself and whimper as though protecting herself from being hit.

They had also found that touching JJ unless she initiated contact, when in her fearful dazes, would make the panic attack worse. Emily had found that out the hard way the first time JJ had had a full blown attack. She had tried to comfort the blonde by attempting to hold her hand, which had resulted in her being hit in the face by JJ as she flailed around trying to escape the attacker in her mind.

Water touching JJ was a trigger causing her to gasp for breath as though she couldn't breathe, this made bathing hard. At this moment in time JJ could only handle being cleaned using a wet wipes, too much water on her skin would cause her to panic. On top of this the nurses found they could only get close enough to her in the first place to do this if Emily was right next to her for her to hide against in the process.

Anyone who wasn't Emily touching JJ was a trigger causing her to flinch away from them and burrow into Emily's side, making it hard for Dr. Marsh to check the wounds on the blondes body.

Men standing to close would leave JJ fearfully screaming and begging for them to not touch her, this had reduced Morgan to tears the first time it had happened.

Emily leaving the room was a major trigger. They found this out when JJ had begun screaming and shouting for Emily after she had left the room to briefly talk to Hotch. It had taken Emily the best part of an hour to calm her girlfriend down and reassure her that she was not alone in the room, Garcia had been there, and that she would not leave her alone again unless JJ told her it was okay.

Eating, more specifically being made to eat, was a trigger causing JJ to freeze up in fear. The only way they had gotten the blonde to eat so far was if Emily ate the food first. They had a system between the two of them, Emily would eat a spoonful to show JJ it was okay, that it wouldn't hurt her and that she wouldn't be hurt for eating, then slowly JJ would eat a spoon too. This would continue with each spoonful until the meal had gone. It had been a painstakingly slow process at first, but gradually through the week JJ's confidence with being able to eat had grown, she would now eat after Emily only having to eat one spoonful before her, rather than eating every other spoonful before her.

There were many more triggers the team had noticed but these were what they considered the main fear factors JJ had at the moment.

These and the nightmares.

It wasn't good for JJ to in the state the fear reduced her to.

Dr. Marsh was worried it would cause more damage to her injuries.

The team were worried it would worsen the psychological damage the torture had caused.

Emily was just plain worried.

The look in JJ's eyes when she was afraid like that was terrifying to see, it was as though the blonde didn't recognize or see her at all.

It was when JJ had 'episodes' as Dr. Marsh had called them, that Emily really feared she could still lose her girlfriend.

Physically she was still here, but Emily was terrified that she would lose JJ to her own mind and the horrors that now lived there due to everything she had been through.

She was terrified her love would not be enough to get JJ through this.

That she would not be enough.

Every tiny piece of progress they made was a blessing in Emily's eyes.

It was a sign that JJ was still fighting to come back from her fears.

Currently, Emily was sat on JJ's hospital bed her back leaning against the headboard, both her legs drawn up on to the bed while JJ was sat in front of her leaning gently against her chest in-between her legs.

Physically JJ had been getting stronger and stronger through the week.

Her ribs were not completely healed, that would take time, but she was now strong enough to sit up with some help.

She was strong enough that she didn't need the drip any more, pain medication was given to her through tablets and drinks that she would take with Emily's assurance that nothing bad would happen to her for taking them.

The welts on her back and bottom were nowhere near healed but they hurt her less now as did the burns and other injuries, she could comfortably lean gently against cushions or Emily without being in pain.

JJ never felt safer than when she was sat with her girlfriend this way, Emily's one arm wrapped securely around her stomach, her hand gently stroking just above the cast on JJ's injured arm.

It made her feel safe enough to eat without fear of being punished for doing so like she had been in the caves.

Today had been the most progress JJ had made so far.

She had been confident enough to eat on her own, without Emily having to eat some of the food first to show her it was okay.

This had been the first time she had been able to do so.

She had been afraid at first, she was hungry when the food came and had just picked up the spoon and dug right in without realizing what she was doing.

She had frozen right after, almost like a deer caught in headlights, and looked to Emily in fear who was quick to wrap an arm around JJ's stomach securely and reassure her that it was okay and that she was doing really well.

JJ had thought she had heard pride in Emily's voice as she had spoken to her, in that moment she felt proud of herself to.

Proud she had been able to do this for herself and proud that she had made Emily happy, that she had stopped her worrying so much for her, if only for a moment.

Of course there was a small niggling feeling in the back of her mind that told her she was the reason Emily was so worried in the first place, that it was her fault that Emily looked exhausted, her fault that Emily was reduced to tears when she had her panic attacks.

It was that thought that made her want to try harder, push herself more to overcome her fears, in hope that Emily would still be there when she did.

She trusted Emily, she really did.

She was just worried this, the way she was, would be too much for Emily to handle.

Too much for anyone to handle.

She needed help with almost everything at the moment, and right now due to her being far too afraid of everybody around her the job of helping her with these tasks had fallen on Emily.

Emily was the only person she truly trusted to not hurt her right now, she was the only one she felt safe with enough to allow to help her.

JJ's body had had a lot to recover from and some tasks were harder than others.

Tasks such as lifting and dropping her arm and holding her hands still.

JJ had many burns on her arms and that had caused some nerve damage meaning she was left with a small tremor and that tremor would only intensify when she was tired, nervous or afraid.

So even though she eating on her own at the moment, without Emily having to eat some of the food first, she still needed help in getting her hand to lift high enough, to be steady enough, for the food to get to her mouth.

It helped her in her mind as well as physically, it reminded her Emily was still here with her, she hadn't given up on her yet, and that made her feel safe enough to try.

As did the position they were sat in at the moment.

In this position she could see the whole room around her, she could see the way out, see who was coming and going all the while being in the comfort of Emily's arms.

She felt safe like this.

She could see all around herself to reassure herself she was safe, but on the off chance that she wasn't Emily was right there too, to keep her safe, to keep her grounded.

There was no safer place on earth that she knew of.

She trusted Emily completely to keep her safe, to never leave her, to love her.

She trusted her enough to love her back.

Even though she was too afraid to tell her so.

Loving someone the way she loved Emily was something she had promised herself she would never do again after Rosaline had killed herself.

Telling someone that you loved them, to only have them leave you, was far too painful.

JJ for years had thought her love, for her to admit to loving someone, was like placing a curse on that person.

She lost everybody that she loved.

Like her Mother, her sister Rosaline, even her Grandmother, to an extent.

She had loved them, but lost them all in one way or another.

This love was different though.

The love she felt for her Mom, her Grandma and Rosaline was an unconditional family love, love all the same but completely different to the love she felt for Emily.

This love was painful yet beautiful.

It made her feel safe yet terrified.

It had grown on her slowly.

Crept up right behind her, until her chest was so tight with emotions she couldn't take it anymore, she had to admit to herself that she really did love Emily.

Emily was her anchor.

Her prince.

Her saviour.

Her soul mate.

Her everything.

That was what terrified her the most, not just here and now, but down in those caves.

The powerfulness of her love for Emily saved her life down there in those caves, it kept her sane in the madness, gave her the strength to keep going.

It also left her afraid.

Afraid of what she would become if she was to ever lose Emily.

The thought of losing Emily was even more terrifying at times then the flashbacks she had of her childhood, the memories of her time in that cave, the fear induced panic attacks, the nightmares, the feeling of being locked in.

It shook her to her core, it left her almost completely paralysed.

" _Jayje?"_ Emily said softly in the blonde's ear.

She didn't want to startle her but she was worried.

JJ had completely frozen, she was staring into space her hand now down on the table right next to her hospital dinner not moving.

Emily was worried today had been a step too far for JJ, that she was getting lost in her mind and was afraid of being hurt for the simply eating.

Gently Emily took the spoon from her girlfriend's hand and placed it down on the table beside the hospital food, before taking JJ's hand in her own after pushing the wheelie table a little further down the bed.

Slowly and carefully she moved JJ around so the blonde was facing her being mindful of her injuries that were still present.

" _Hey, it's okay. You're okay, I'm right here."_ She said softly, one hand on the blondes back helping to hold her up right while the other hand was drawing soft circles on the hand she held.

She looked into JJ's eyes waiting for her to come out of whatever memory or thought she was stuck in at the moment, watching closely trying to read through her facial expressions how she was feeling at the moment.

Emily continued to do this while waiting patiently for JJ to come back to her, it didn't take long before she noticed JJ's eyes shift from where they had been staring at nothing to look up into her own eyes a small smile appearing on her lips.

Emily sighed releasing the air she had been holding in her lungs in relief, glad that whatever had just happened had not thrown her girlfriend into a panic attack.

" _It's okay."_ Emily said as she leant forward to kiss JJ on her forehead, pulling back she noticed that her girlfriend's eyes had closed, a relaxed look on her face.

" _You still with me?"_ She asked gently, softly squeezing the hand in her own.

JJ breathed out slowly, as she opened her eyes before moving her head to scan the room all around her first to check they were alone.

After scanning the room she looked back to Emily and nodded her head in response.

She didn't feel like she could talk at the moment but knew she should, she was still unsure when it came to talking.

She had made a little bit of progress through the week and had starting talking to Emily, but only in very small sentences, sometimes just single words, quietly, and only when they were alone.

" _Sorry."_ JJ said quietly, looking down to look at her own and Emily's hands encased together, nervously.

" _You have nothing to be sorry for. I promise. You haven't done anything wrong."_ Emily quickly assured her hoping to put her mind at ease as she felt the tension returning to JJ's back where her hand was.

It was something she had quickly noticed this last week.

If JJ felt or thought she had done something wrong, she would become incredibly tense in her arms, as though she was bracing herself, waiting to be struck.

Emily had been working hard to reassure her that that would not happen, not under any circumstance what so ever.

Sometimes though, the blondes fear got too much for her and it would require some more assurance to remind her she was safe and that the people here, including Emily herself, would not hurt her.

Emily waited patiently again for JJ to look back up to her.

Emily had never really been a patient person before, but with JJ she had learnt to be.

Even before they had started dating she had learnt that patience was key with JJ, she needed time to open up, time to feel safe, and right now time to just remember where she was.

" _What were you thinking about?"_ Emily asked after JJ looked back up to her again, the tension in her back hadn't completely gone but it was less than beforehand.

She hoped that JJ felt at ease enough to try and talk to her a little bit, even if only in small sentences and one worded answers.

Hearing her girlfriend's voice gave her hope, it made her smile, even if her voice was laced in fear every time she spoke.

" _You."_ JJ answered simply, staring at Emily with wide eyes.

She hadn't really meant to say that.

It was completely true, but she hadn't meant to tell Emily.

Emily tried to stop herself from frowning at the feeling of the tension returning to JJ's back once again.

She could tell JJ was getting scared, she need to reassure her before she had panic attack.

" _Well, I do have that effect on people."_ Emily joked while her hand on JJ's back began to gently rub up and down trying to rub the tension out, her efforts were rewarded with a small smile from JJ.

She smiled back at JJ watching her quietly, waiting as JJ tried to find the words for what she wanted to say, while she tried to find the courage to speak to her.

" _I was thinking about…about…about how you, make me feel."_ JJ said quietly looking away again, she didn't know how to put into words everything she had been thinking about, and trying to was making her nervous.

She was scared she would say it wrong and Emily would leave her and that thought terrified her.

Emily seeing this, through the way JJ tried to shy away from her, drew her in closer towards herself in a gentle hug so that JJ's head was against her neck as Emily rested the side of her one cheek against her girlfriends forehead and gave her a soft squeeze.

" _You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. I just want you to know though, that whatever you feel you are completely entitled to. Whether it's good or bad. Whatever you feel I won't be mad, okay?"_ Emily assured gently before pulling back slightly to watch her.

" _It's good, I promise."_ JJ said quickly, slightly panicked, her chest rising and falling quickly showing that her breathing had become heavier.

" _It's okay if it's not."_ Emily assured her again just as quick, pulling her close again her one hand rubbing gently down the length of her back.

They were silent for a moment, just drawing comfort from each other, as JJ tried to calm her breathing and Emily silently reassured her that she was safe.

Emily could feel JJ's uninjured hand around her back, holding tightly to the material of the hooded jumper she was wearing, she could feel her burrowing in closer towards herself as the tension slowly left her back and her breathing returned to normal.

She was beginning to relax and grow heavy in her arms, Emily thought for a moment JJ may even be starting to fall asleep until the blonde suddenly turned her head to look up towards her.

" _It is good…but at the same time…"_ JJ started while looking deep into Emily's eyes.

" _It scares you?"_ Emily asked understanding in her tone.

" _That's okay as well."_ Emily said her eyes never leaving JJ's as she looked back up to her again after nodding her head in confirmation that she was scared.

" _Sometimes my feelings scare me too."_ Emily admitted with a small smile.

" _Sometimes the things I feel are just so intense it overwhelms me."_ She continued as JJ listened intently, hanging on her every word.

" _I think it's normal though, or at least it is for people like you and me. Sometimes I think of the unsubs we profile and I feel sad for them, that for whatever reason they can't feel the good in the world. They can't feel those emotions that make us better people. It's what makes us human. To feel and to act. Don't be afraid to feel what you feel Jay, even if it scares you, It's a part of you."_ Emily said softly her eyes never leaving JJ's.

" _I love you, all of you. Everything I know about you, everything I don't know yet. I love you so much that it scares me, but that only makes me love you more. I've never felt more alive than when I think about how much I love you."_ Emily said with conviction in her voice.

JJ looked at Emily and she could see Emily had her walls completely down, it was like looking into her eyes was the doorway to her soul.

It was in that moment she could see it, the love, but also the fear.

It was in that moment JJ knew Emily felt the same way she did.

She was just as afraid of her emotions as she was.

Emily was just as painfully raw on the inside as what she was.

 _ **She needs to hear that you love her like she loves you.**_ – that's what Reid had told her.

She heard it before waking up.

She knew now, looking at Emily, that that was completely and utterly true.

There was nothing truer in this world than that statement.

As much as JJ needed Emily's love to help heal the years of damage her heart had been put through, Emily needed her love just as much for that very same reason.

She had her own demons, her own scars.

Looking into Emily's eyes now JJ's mind found complete clarity.

" _I love you."_ JJ said simply.

She did.

She loved Emily Prentiss.

She wasn't afraid to show that love anymore.

Emily had her hands wrapped tightly around her heart, and right now JJ couldn't think of safer hands for her heart to be in.

* * *

 **AN:** Hey guys, sorry for any typo's in these authors notes, one handed typing is a pain lol. Hope to have the next chapter with you by the end of the week, I'm a little slower at the moment with this cast on when it comes to checking and editing and polishing my chapters up.

The next chapter will have more of the team in and the story will start moving again, these last few chapters I had used to try and let you readers see into the mindset of JJ, Reid and the team.

Don't forget to drop me a review and let me know what you think.


	20. Chapter Twenty: Normality

Hey everybody, sorry this is late I had wanted to post it yesterday but…wait for it… there was a god damn storm that blew a tree down over a poweline near my house.

No electricity for a whole day almost, damn powerline!

I had some serious withdrawals, like seriously, I would have not done well in those medevial times haha.

Thank you to everyone who has been reading and reviewing, and thank you for all your support after my accident the other weekend, I'm doing a lot better and learning this one handed typing thing well now, hopefully!

 **Elphiemolizbethbau:** Thank you for your review, I'm so glad you enjoyed, and I hope to one day beat that chapter, let me know how this one does!

 **MyCriminaIMind:** Thank you for your review, I'm glad I got the characterisation of our girls right there, it was an important moment and I'm glad I got it right in your eyes, hopefully in others too. Lets hope JJ will continue to feel safe with Emily during her recovery and after.

 **fallenangel1396:** Thank you for your review, I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter and that the emotion I wanted had come across when you read it, hope you continue to enjoy.

 **Sinca:** Thank you for your review, haha your right I must have been in a very bittersweet mood that day, hopefully this one is less, not promise though. Hope you continue to enjoy the story.

 **USCutie15:** Thank you for your review, I'm glad you enjoyed it, it was an important moment for JJ and I thought it was important to get into JJ's mind a bit more there. Hope you continue to enjoy the story.

 **102000QP:** Thank you for your review, hope you enjoy the rest to come.

 **Letirreis:** Thank you for your review, I'm glad you think so, I thought the last chapter was important that we see more into JJ's mind set and I hope i got across what I wanted to with that chapter. Hope you continue to enjoy whats to come.

 **Thalie57:** Thank you for your review and your pms, glad you are enjoying where the story goes and the way in which the Emily and JJ establish their support for one another, hope you enjoy this next chapter.

 **T-Rex Ninja Kid:** Thank you for your review, I'm glad you liked the ending of the last chapter, and that it came across with the intensity I had hoped it would. I hope you continue to enjoy reading JJ's recovery as well as Reid's and how the team move on from what happened in the upcoming chapters.

 **AN:** And on with the chapter, don't forget to let me know what you think of this one, I think you will find they the whole team are in here today in one way or another, hope you all like!

 **Warnings:** **Talk of Torture.**

* * *

 **Chapter Twenty: Normality.**

" _ **Spence! No!"**_

" _ **Stop it!"**_

" **JJ No! Don't hurt her!"**

" _Reid, you're okay, JJ's okay too."_

What?

Was this person actually serious right now?

He was not okay, neither was JJ.

They were going to drown her again, just like they had done to him.

" _ **Stop!"**_

" _ **You're going to kill him! Take me instead!"**_

" **No we promised, JJ stop! Let them concentrate on me."**

" _Come on kid, stay with us."_

Stay? In the water drowning?

Yeah, no thanks, Reid thought to himself bitterly.

He could feel it all around him, choking him, filling his lungs, making it so he couldn't breathe.

That wasn't even the worst of it.

The worst part was that JJ was next.

He knew how it felt, he knew what they were going to do to her, and he couldn't stop them.

He was still trapped in that glass container water all around him, trapped at their mercy.

They could refill the container and drown him again at any moment.

They wouldn't just yet though.

They would wait.

Wait until he could breathe properly again, before taking that ability away from him again.

" _Dr. Reid, just take deep breaths, try and calm you breathing."_

Yeah calm my breathing so you can try and drown me again, he thought to himself.

" _ **Please just stop! Spence! Spence! Spencer!"**_

" **Jayje! Leave her alone! Jayje!"**

" _You're okay kid, you're safe here."_

Who was that talking?

Was it Morgan?

Morgan was the only person on the team that called him kid.

But how was Morgan here right now, had he come to save them.

Had he come to get them out of the caves?

" _No one here is going to hurt you Spencer."_

The fog was starting to clear from his mind.

Shaking his head Reid looked around to find himself in hospital.

He wasn't in the cave.

They weren't trying to drown him, they had been trying to get him to go into the wash room where water had been filling up in a bathtub.

The sound of the water must have triggered a flashback in his mind to what happened when he was in the caves, or at least that was what his logical mind was trying to tell him.

That was what Gideon and Morgan had been trying to tell him, the nurse that was with them too.

" _Spencer?"_ He said suddenly, only just registering what Gideon had last said.

" _You never call me Spencer unless it's bad."_ He continued after seeing the confused looks Morgan and Gideon had sent him.

" _You zooned out on us. You were shouting for JJ. We needed to get your attention."_ Gideon explained from his place kneeling down on the floor next to the wheelchair Reid was in.

They watched relieved as Reid nodded his head, telling them he understood what he had just been told and that he was back with them, he understood where they were, he understood that no one was going to hurt him.

" _Can you tell us what happened?"_ Morgan asked concerned.

Reid had been getting better this last week since JJ had awoken.

He had been more open to receiving help, more open to his team members in general.

He hadn't been keeping them at arm's length any more, he was trusting them more with the details of what had happened down in the cave.

He had been more willing to ask for help when he needed it.

Morgan hoped he would trust them with what had caused the panic attack they had just witnessed.

" _The water…I…it…it made me remember…something they did to us."_ Reid said, his head hanging low in shame, he didn't want to seem weak in front of his team mates, especially not Gideon.

He looked up to Gideon.

He admired him greatly, and was thankful to him for the opportunities he had given him.

Without Gideon he probably would have never been a part of this team.

Through all the bad that had happened the team had kept him going, they were his family, he wouldn't change that for the world.

" _Reid, right after you were brought in, after you had been to the emergency theatre to be checked over, the Doctors told us the extent of your injuries. They said your lungs showed signs of repeated drowning, JJ's too."_ Gideon said, he knew what the younger agent was trying to say in his own words, he wanted to assure him it was okay to tell them what had happened.

" _I never saw…JJ…I didn't see them do it to her…I heard though. I could hear her scream…and cough, choke…then it would go silent….completely silent apart from the sound of water."_ Reid said staring into the bathtub just looking at the water now made him remember.

The cold.

The weight of the water pushing him down.

The breathlessness all around him.

Shaking his head he forced himself to tear his eyes away from the bathtub, away from his memories, and look back down to Gideon.

" _The first time, they brought us both to the same room, it was the first time we had seen each other properly since the accident, we had spoken, but not actually seen each other…JJ…she could barely walk…she already looked so weak…she was already covered in so much blood, I could tell she was already badly hurt."_ Reid told Gideon, who wordlessly watched as the young genius's eyes changed from fearful to haunted in the space it took to blink.

" _They said it was time to play a game and asked us who wanted to play first…I told them I would before she had the chance to even try…the woman…Sara, grabbed me and dragged me to this glass container and locked me in…JJ she was screaming my name, she was struggling to get free from Charles was holding her too tight…she had to watch as the water started to fill up, I could hear her…but as the water started to fill my mouth I closed my eyes…I couldn't see her, but she saw me…she was forced to watch them drown me…she saw what they were going to do to her."_ Reid said looking back to the water in the bathtub again.

" _I…felt what it was like to drown…more than once…I blanked out each time…I would wake to hear her screaming my name, but she was in another room by then, I couldn't see her anymore…I would hear her…I could hear her drowning, screaming…but I never saw."_ He said looking back to Gideon again.

As Gideon watched Reid talk, watched him become lost in his memories of what happened to him down in the caves he couldn't help the way the profiler in him analysed the way he became more distressed when talking about JJ.

" _What they did to you, to both of you, is something that nobody should ever have to go through. No human being should ever do that to another, and we are going to make sure they pay for what they did to you both, I promise you that."_ Morgan said placing his hand on Reid's uninjured shoulder.

" _What about what I did?"_ Reid asked quietly, looking down again.

Morgan and Gideon exchanged a worried look before turning their attention back to Reid.

" _Spencer."_ Gideon said, prompting the younger agent to look at him again.

" _What do you mean?"_ Gideon asked, he could tell Reid needed to get something off of his chest, but that this was something that he would need help in saying, he would need to be prompted.

" _I broke our promise, I was the first one to break it."_ Reid whispered shamefull.

" _What promise?"_ Morgan asked from behind Reid.

" _To not get ourselves hurt on purpose to protect each other…as soon as I saw what was in the room I had a feeling about what they were going to do…I didn't know for sure…all I knew was I had to protect her, and in the process I broke our promise."_ Reid said in disappointment.

" _You both did what could to survive and protect each other Reid. You may have broken a promise but you didn't do that to hurt her, you did it to protect her. I'm sure she did the same for you as well."_ Morgan said squeezing Reid's shoulder that his land lay on top of.

"Did I really protect her though? I told them to hurt me thinking they would leave her alone. In the end they drowned us both. They hurt her anyway… I caused her even more pain though, my need to protect her meant she had to watch…I have nightmares about it…them drowning me…hearing what they did to her…those nightmares are bad enough." Reid said shuddering at the thought of the nightmares that he has had.

" _I can't imagine what it would be like seeing someone being drowned, seeing them take their last breathes before darkness overcomes…that image will stay with her forever…I'm…I'm scared of that bathtub right now because of what I hear when I look at it. When she looks at it she won't just hear what I hear, she will see it too…I, did that, to her."_ Reid said looking to the ground, he couldn't look at Gideon or Morgan, or even the nurse who was still in the room letting the water out of the bath.

He felt so much guilt and shame over that broken promise, over what he thought he had done to JJ, he knew in his mind that what he thought was true and he couldn't bring himself to look into his team members eyes right now.

He couldn't bring himself to look in to their eyes and see his fear confirmed.

It didn't matter how many times they told him that what had happened was not his fault, which he had no control over what had happened to him and JJ down in those caves.

In his eyes, the choice he made in that moment made the situation worse, he brought even more pain to JJ, and in the process to himself as well.

 **Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

" _How bad is it?"_ Hotch asked from behind the wheel of the black SUV he was currently driving back towards the hospital, back to his team.

" _There will be an internal investigation, not just of your team."_ Erin Strauss replied from the passenger side of the car.

Hotch had just picked Strauss up from the airport all of twenty minutes ago.

He had tried to put her off coming to Savannah for as long as possible but with a whole team of Agents being effectively down for the count for almost the last three weeks, bar the time they were working on the case, he knew he could only put her off coming to assess the situation herself for so long.

" _I expected as much."_ Hotch said, he knew it would be coming.

With two members of his team being abducted and tortured it was no wonder his effectiveness at leading his team would be investigated.

" _They want to know how a team of profilers could not have picked up on the fact another member of their team had such a … dark … past."_ Straus said not really know how to word JJ's past.

" _They want to know how it wasn't picked up on sooner and why after it had come out more wasn't done to ensure Agent Jareau's safety while working a case that was clearly linked to her past."_ Strauss continued.

" _I already sent you the report, they surely will have read it and know we needed her here as she had important information for the case and we needed her help in controlling the media."_ Hotch said confused, the reason why JJ wasn't sent home straight away had already been explained.

" _Yes they do, they have read the case report and I backed your decision, it's not you that they are gunning for with this investigation."_ Strauss explained.

Hotch looked away from the road to Strauss in surprise, he had not expected that.

He would have thought they would have wanted to use him as the scapegoat for what happened during their time out here.

If they weren't going to use him as the scapegoat then who were they going to use.

Surely they weren't going to use JJ as the scapegoat in all of this were they?

" _They wanted to investigate whether or not Agent Jareau had abused the protection of personal information clause that is in place."_ Strauss continued.

" _You can't be serious she-"_

" _Don't worry their investigation didn't get far. She hasn't done anything wrong and they have no way of holding anything that has happened over her head. I made sure of that."_ Strauss cut Hotch off assuring him that JJ would receive no reprimand from all that has happened.

" _Then who is the internal investigation for?"_ Hotch asked confused.

If it wasn't him or any members of his team in general then who are they going to try and blame for all that had happened.

"When Agent Jareau was brought into the Bureau after completing her training a more inclusive background check was run like on all other agents when they join our unit. The fact that her name had been legally changed at age fourteen was brought to my attention because of this. When questioned on this Agent Jareau revealed that her name was legally changed to her mother's maiden name for her protection and that the reason regarding why and what had caused her to need that protection was sealed with her old identity. She assured me that it would not affect her work and I assured her that that file would only have to be unsealed if she gave us probable cause to or if it was needed to for her protection. They, the bureau, didn't have the authority to open the file without my say so. They believe I should have asked for full disclosure and opened the file regardless of the protocol on breaking the information protection clause." Strauss explained.

"Agent Jareau never gave you reason to have to look further into her past. She has always been an exceptional agent in all cases, even when they have been hard for her to handle she has always done her job effectively and without any cause for concern. She never gave you any reason to open that file, until this case. When she realised this case could be linked to her past she was forthcoming with the information and gave permission for the file to be opened herself. Neither of you have done anything wrong here, she followed your rules and you followed their rules. The Bureau made the protocol concerning an agents ability to be able to withhold personal information and gave the guidelines in how and when that information would need to be assessed, not you." Hotch said annoyed, he loved his job, but the heads of the Bureau really annoyed him sometimes.

They brought in new rules and protocols left right and centre, they would stress the importance about following these rules, until following caused an undesired effect.

Then they would blame you for the outcome whether you followed their rules or not.

It seemed all incredibly pointless.

" _Your right. They know this too. But it doesn't change the fact that in the last year alone Agent Jareau was the sixth agent in my unit that has had a past that was not fully disclosed due to this clause that has effected herself and her team. in this team alone its happened twice in the last year."_ Strauss said referring to a case six months ago where elements of Morgan's past had resurfaced causing him to be wrongly accused of murder until the truth came out.

" _Nor does it change the fact that the media have caught wind of this latest case and the fact that two FBI Agents were abducted and brutally tortured for days. The media want answers on how we let this happen and the Bureau need someone to blame. I managed to deflect the blame off of you and your team, but not myself. They hold me accountable. They are investigating my ability to run this unit as your chief. They want to stop the buck with me, they know I had the power to open those sealed files earlier and I didn't due to the clause they insisted upon. Now they just want as much evidence as possible to make it stick."_ Strass finished defeated.

The SUV became silent apart from the sound of the road rushing by as Hotch took in all that had come to light since picking up his unit chief from the airport.

In trying to defend himself and his team she had placed herself in the literal firing line here.

This wasn't right.

What had happened here was no one person's fault.

He understood that the media and Bureau needed answers but this was just plain stupid.

They couldn't blame Strauss for something that was there fault.

This was bound to happen again, if anything stricter guidelines were needed on the information protection clause.

That was not down to Strauss but the Bureau as a whole themselves.

" _You may not always been with us on our cases, but you are a part of this team. In this team we stick together and protect one another. We will find a way out of this together."_ Hotch assured her after a long silence had filled the SUV.

He just hoped they could, he knew that when the big bosses of the Bureau had their minds set on something it was hard to change, but not impossible.

 **Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

Emily loved watching her girlfriend sleep.

She looked so peaceful when she slept.

She looked younger and completely innocent when she was asleep.

A complete contrast to the fear that usually clouded her face in the days when she was awake at the moment.

Emily wasn't sure whether she was being slightly biased or not but she could have sworn JJ looked even more peaceful right now, after the break through they had today she wouldn't be surprised, but part of her thought maybe that was just wishful thinking on her part.

One thing was sure though, this was the longest the blonde had slept peacefully for since waking from the coma a week ago.

Usually when she fell asleep she would be whimpering and thrashing around in her sleep within twenty minutes and would wake screaming in fear within an hour.

She had now been peacefully asleep for just over two hours, not a single whimper, the only movement coming from her breathing and the occasional sleepy contented sigh she made as as she moved a little closer into Emily seeking the warmth and comfort.

Currently Emily was still sat lounging on JJ's hospital bed, a pillow behind her back for support as she leant back against the metal headboard her legs tucked up under her, a book lying open next to them forgotten about at the moment in time.

JJ was curled up next to her, a pillow under her head half way down the bed as she snuggled her face into Emily's stomach, her uninjured hand hidden in Emily's hooded jumpers pocket holding tightly to the material of the jumper in her sleep.

Almost as though she was holding Emily in place so she couldn't move.

Not that Emily would move, ever.

This was the most content she had felt since JJ had woken up.

She was completely at peace herself while watching JJ sleep, her one hand gently tracing JJ's face while her other was wrapped securely around the blondes back holding her gently.

She was happy.

If she had told anybody that she would probably sound like a lunatic right now.

The situation couldn't be more wrong at the moment.

She hated seeing her girlfriend so hurt, in pain and scared all the time, but still she was happy.

In all the madness and fear JJ had managed to overcome a part of her fears and actually tell Emily how she felt about her.

She had been able to admit her feelings to herself and had been able to share those feelings with Emily.

Nothing at this moment in time could make Emily happier than knowing that JJ loved her just as much as Emily herself loved JJ in return.

She knew that JJ loved her, long before JJ told her, but hearing it out loud, seeing the absolute certainty and the relief in JJ's eyes as she told her was utterly breath-taking.

That, was what made Emily happy.

A noise coming from the doorway brought Emily out of her thoughts.

Unconsciously she tightened her arm holding JJ close to her slightly before turning her head to look towards the door, seeing Garcia placing her bag and coat down on one of the bedside chairs.

" _Hey."_ Emily said quietly, causing Garcia to look up at her before walking around to the side of the bed where JJ was and taking a seat in front of the bed, Emily watching her as she did so.

" _Hey, sorry did I wake you?"_ Garcia said, she had only seen Emily's back upon entering the room and had thought that both the agents had been asleep when she first came in.

" _No. I wasn't asleep."_ Emily replied.

" _How long has our girl been asleep so far?"_ Garcia asked seeing how peaceful the blonde was at the moment, she assumed it couldn't have been long.

" _About two hours."_ Emily answered with a smile.

" _What? Really? No nightmares?"_ Garcia asked excited.

" _No nightmares."_ Emily assured smiling.

" _That's great!"_ Garcia exclaimed loudly before clapping her hands over her mouth quickly her eyes wide.

The room was silent for a minute as both Emily and Garcia watch JJ closely, loud noises scared her, and they were waiting to see if Garcia's outburst had spooked her from her sleep.

Emily was relieved after all she heard was another sleepy contented sigh from the blonde who burrowed her head a little closer into Emily's stomach and then settled again seemingly undisturbed by the sudden noise.

" _Sorry."_ Garcia whispered sheepishly.

" _It's okay."_ Emily assured her with a smile.

" _I get how you feel, I've been wanting to do that all day. She's had a really good day today."_ Emily explained, she really had wanted to scream in joy at the top of her lungs.

" _Well don't leave me hanging sweet-cheeks. Tell me everything now!"_ Garcia said excitedly, this time a little quieter.

Emily didn't say anything at first, she just raised an eyebrow in Garcia's direction, her one hand gently stroking JJ's hair as she felt the hand in her jumper pocket fist the material tighter for a moment before relaxing again.

" _I promise to stay as quiet as possible."_ Garcia assured.

" _You, quiet? That'll be the day."_ Emily joked with a small chuckle.

" _I'll have you know I can be very quiet. In fact I am no longer talking to you. That is how quiet I am going to be."_ Garcia sulked crossing her arms over her chest and turning her body to face the wall looking away from Emily and JJ as Emily continued to chuckle to herself at Garcia's reaction.

" _I'm just playing with you P.G."_ Emily said still amused.

Garcia knew she was, but still didn't turn around.

" _So you don't want to hear about how she ate by herself today?"_ Emily said as Garcia continued to sulk, watching as her friend turned to look at her slightly, her resolve breaking.

" _She did?"_ Garcia asked still not uncrossing her arms.

" _Yeah. She was scared at first afterwards but she did it. She ate on her own and afterwards we talked for a little bit as well."_ Emily continued.

" _As in you spoke to her or she spoke to you?"_ Garcia asked turning round fully now, her attention completely on Emily forgetting about her pretence of sulking.

" _We spoke to each other. She told me something."_ Emily said a massive goofy grin appearing on her face at remembering their conversation from earlier.

" _Emily!"_ Garcia whined.

" _You can't say that with that massive silly goofy smile on your gorgeous face and not tell me what she said."_ Garcia continued as Emily looked at her amused by her quiet outburst.

" _She told me she loves me."_ Emily said softly after a few moments of silence.

" _She did?"_ Garcia asked shocked.

" _Yeah."_ Emily said simply.

"She actually said the words I love you." Garcia asked.

Emily nodded, she wasn't surprised by Garcia's shock.

Garcia knew as well as she did that JJ never said the word love.

Not in an emotional, truthful way like she had said to Emily.

Not even in a platonic joking way.

She told people she liked things rather than miss using the word love for it.

When told in a friendly way by Garcia and others that they loved her she would smile gently and look down before saying 'I care about you too'.

Love was not a word that came easily in Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau's extensive vocabulary and the use of it was extremely important and serious.

Even without Garcia understanding the reasons behind why she never said it, she still understood the importance of it being said.

" _Em, that's amazing. I'm so happy for you. Both of you. "_ Garcia said, her voice laced with emotion.

" _You know I almost cried when she said it. Can you imagine, Emily Prentiss, me, crying because of three words?"_ Emily joked with a watery smile trying to compose herself, those tears from earlier threatening to fall again.

" _There more than just words. Especially when it comes to Gumdrop saying them."_ Garcia replied her eyes watery as well.

" _I know."_ Emily assured her, smiling down fondly at her girlfriend.

" _God, if Morgan could see us now. He would be telling us to stop being such a bunch of girls!"_ Garcia exclaimed wiping a finger under her eye, trying to hide that she was almost about to cry herself.

" _Aw, P.G. Don't say we made you cry like a little girl over there."_ Emily teased.

" _Shut up, you said yourself you almost cried."_ Garcia replied.

" _I'm happy for you both is all! Keep teasing me and I'll tell Hotch about that goofy grin his tough as nails badass profiler was sporting earlier."_ Garcia threatened jokingly causing Emily to laugh Garcia followed soon joining in soon after.

They continued laughing until Emily felt movement next to her and stopped, looking down she was met with blue eyes looking back at her watching her intently.

" _Hey beautiful."_ Emily said looking into JJ's eyes with a smile.

Hearing Emily speaking to JJ, Garcia knew the other blonde was awake and tried to stifle her laughter too, not wanting to scare her friend.

" _Hi."_ JJ whispered back quietly a little unsure her muscles tense, as Garcia sat behind quietly watching the interaction taking place before her.

" _Did you have a good sleep?"_ Emily asked her hand on JJ's back unconsciously rubbing small circles up near JJ's shoulder.

JJ nodded her head, she did, she was having a great dream in her sleep.

It wasn't anything spectacular or magical but it was something that gave her a sense of normality and she liked that.

She had been laughing with Emily and Garcia in her dream before waking up to hear her girlfriend's and best friend's laughter for real.

" _I dreamt about you."_ JJ said as she remembered her dream.

" _Both of you."_ She continued taking a long look into Emily's eyes before slowly and carefully turning herself around to face Garcia, her back pressed firmly yet gently against Emily's front.

" _We were having one of our movie nights."_ She finished quietly.

Her confidence to talk was building having Emily with her.

As she felt Emily's arm snake around her waist gently holding her closer to herself, she felt safe enough to talk even with Garcia in the room.

Garcia wanted to squeal she was so excited right now.

JJ knew she was in the room and wasn't afraid of her.

She wasn't cowering away like she usually did, she was even speaking in front of her, to her in fact.

She was barely able to contain how happy she was feeling right now, and when she glanced at Emily who was laying behind JJ, spooning her, holding her close, she could see Emily felt the same way.

JJ was growing in confidence and fighting through her fear, through her uncertainty, to trust again.

She had taken so many steps already today and now she was taking even more.

It was a heart breaking yet beautiful process to see and Garcia was honoured that JJ trusted in their friendship enough to let her be a part of it, even if it was just a small part.

" _You know, a movie night with you two lovely ladies sounds great right now. What do you think Gumdrop?"_ Garcia asked gently while smiling, the excitement clear in her voice.

There was so many things Garcia wanted to say, that she wanted to ask, but she didn't want to overwhelm JJ when she had only just found the confidence to speak in front of her.

She thought it was best to keep the conversation that JJ had started going, rather than bombarding her with too many topics.

Garcia kept eye contact with JJ, letting her study her for a moment and watched as she turned her head slightly to look at Emily who was laying behind her, her head propped up with her one hand, while the other was tucked around JJ holding her close to her front.

" _I'm in if you are."_ Emily told her with a smile before looking to Garcia as JJ turned her head back towards the bubbly tech as well.

" _I'm in."_ JJ said quietly after a few moments with a very small smile, her hand finding Emily's that was across her stomach holding on tightly finding comfort in feeling of her girlfriend being right behind her.

Garcia and Emily found themselves smiling too, JJ was coming back to them slowly and they couldn't be happier.

She was still scared, she was still recovering.

She still had a long way to go, they all knew that.

This however gave them all a sense of normality, and right now that's all any of them needed.

The situation and the environment was nowhere near normal, but they could all draw comfort from being together, doing something they all enjoyed.

They could draw comfort from the normality of this moment.

This moment of three friends being together smiling and enjoying each other's company.

* * *

 **AN:** Well I think this is possibly the longest chapter to date…haha.

So don't forget to let me know what you all thought!


	21. Chapter Twenty-One: Family

**AN:** Hello everybody, firstly I would like to say I'm very sorry for not being around the last week, it seems I forgot to mention I was disappearing on holiday for a few days, im back now though and have an update for you all.

 **AN:** Secondly I would like to thank you all for all your reviews favs and likes and thank everybody who is reading this story and my side story Connected as One One-Shots, it really does mean the world to me hearing from you all so please continue to tell me what you think.

 **MyCriminaIMind:** Glad you thought so, hope you enjoy this next chapter and what is to come, hope you are also enjoying the one shots still.

 **fallenangel1396:** Thank you for your review, I'm glad you think so that's what I was hoping to be able to do so its great to hear I am managing to do so, I was wonder if you had had the chance to read the one shots that go alongside this story.

 **Elphiemolizbethbau:** Thank you for your review, I'm glad you like the team support system there is more of that to come and we touch on that a little more in this chapter too hope you enjoy.

 **Thalie57:** Thank you so much for your reviews and your PM's, I'm glad you are enjoying the story and that you like the way I write the team, we touch on that a little more in the next few chapter hope you continue to enjoy.

 **T-Rex Ninja Kid:** Thank you for your review, there are a few bigger steps the team and Reid are JJ are going to take soon hope you enjoy the rest of the story.

 **102000QP:** Thank you for your review, I'm glad you are enjoying, there is still a long way for both JJ, Reid and the team to go yet for their recovery, hope you enjoy the next update.

 **Sinca:** Thank you for your review, I'm glad you are enjoying the story and the Jemily moments are cute as I wish them to be, its important to me that JJ's recovery I shown properly I don't want for things to just be magically better as they wouldn't be in real life Im glad that you can see that as well as a reader and hope you still feel I am writing this the right way in future chapters.

 **USCutie15:** Thank you for your review, haha glad you enjoyed, don't worry there will be lots of Jemily to come!

 **AN:** Lastly on with the chapter, hope you all enjoy and don't forget to let me know what you think!

 **WARNINGS:** **Talk of torture, Child Abuse, Sexually abuse and Rape in this chapter.**

* * *

 **Chapter Twenty One: Family.**

Emily sighed heavily preparing herself for what was about to happen as she placed her hand on the door handle to the interview room at Savannah police station.

JJ had been recovering well from the physical effects of the torture she had endured and Dr. Marsh had thought that now was the best time for JJ to undergo the operation on her hand to help repair the nerve damage and help her hand heal quicker.

JJ had been nervous about having the procedure done at first not wanting to be placed under the anaesthetics for the same reason that Reid had refused drugs of any kind all together when first admitted to the hospital.

Fear of waking up in an unknown room and fear of not knowing what was going to happen in that room.

However with Emily's encouragement and Dr. Marshes reassurance that they would not put JJ to sleep until she had seen the room she was to be operated on in with Emily by her side, JJ had slowly come around to the idea knowing that having this operation would help her get the use of her other hand back and help her heal quicker.

JJ fell asleep with Emily right by her side holding her hand and looking into her eyes tell her that when she woke up again they would be back in JJ's hospital room and she would still be with her like she was right now.

Emily and Dr. Marsh had decided not to mention that Emily would not be able to stay through the procedure, even though they knew the blonde probably already knew this, they decided it was best not to alert her to the fact just in case it caused her to panic.

Upon leaving JJ in Dr. Marsh's hands in the operating theatre and promising to be back in time for when the operation would be over, which would be roughly three hours Emily had set off to find Hotch wanting to get an update on our the interviews with both Sara and Charles were going.

Emily had heard from Garcia a few nights ago while JJ had been asleep, that they had wrapped up the interview process with Charles but they were having trouble getting anything out of Sara.

They had enough to charge her, more than enough, but being part of the BAU take down they had to evaluate her behaviour to make a report on why she did what she did.

Although they had some idea from information Garcia had dough up on her as to why Sara had done what she had done and how she was connected to it all they still needed to interview her and get the information from her personally to make the report.

The problem was Sara was insisting she would only talk to the female agent on the team.

They had tried interviewing her with female members of the police force at the station to get nothing from her.

Strauss had tried to interview her with still the same result, nothing.

All the guys on the team, expect Reid, had interviewed her as well still getting nothing.

The only ones to yet try were Emily, Garcia and JJ, for obvious reasons JJ could not be doing the interview, Garcia was not trained in handling these types of interviews with her line for work, which just left Emily.

When Emily had found Hotch for an update and got all the relevant information from him she had agreed to interview Sara as long as she would be back at the hospital in time for when JJ was to wake up after her operation.

Emily knew this interview was going to be one of the toughest interview she had ever and probably would ever have to conduct, she was nervous.

Pushing the door open Emily stalked through into the room trying to put as much confidence into her steps as she could, this was going to be a hard interview to conduct, especially without giving into her urge to rip this women's head off for everything she had done to her girlfriend and friend.

" _I heard you wanted to talk to the female agent on our team. So talk."_ Emily said walking around the table where Sara was sat hand cuffed and taking a seat opposite the woman she only just over two weeks ago shot in the arm.

Looking at her Emily could see her arm was in a sling still, she looked tired and un-kept, even though she still had that confidence about her. Right now Emily wanted to pull her gun out and shoot her again, somewhere that would hurt more, but doing that would cause her to stoup to her level, and Emily Prentiss was nothing like this woman.

" _There's more than one female agent on your team, who said I meant you?"_ Sara replied cockily.

 _"Agent Garcia does not deal with these types of interviews and agent Jareau is currently undergoing an operation to try and fix the nerve damage you and your partner in crime caused to her hand. So that means you're stuck with me."_ Emily replied, shuffling papers from the folder she brought in with her, she refused to look at Sara, although she was sure that the woman could hear the anger in her voice while she spoke about JJ.

 _"Maybe after her operation little Jenny could come have a chat with me, I spent so long with her I miss her now."_ Sara replied with a wicked smile watching how Emily's shoulders tensed at the nickname Sara used for JJ.

 _"That is not going to happen. You will never set eyes on her again. Just so we are clear to you she is Agent Jareau, or Jennifer only."_ Emily replied cuttingly, she refused to let this woman taunt her and her girlfriend, Emily knew the weight that nickname held over her girlfriend.

" _Whoa! Calm down, it was just a suggestion."_ Sara replied chuckling, she loved how easy it was to rile Emily up, she could use the two agents relationship to her advantage and she knew it.

" _Well here's another suggestion. Do not mention Agent Jareau unless you are asked something about her. The same goes for Dr. Reid."_ Emily said lifting her head to look Sara directly in the eyes, unblinking.

" _Boy scout! Now he was fun to play with."_ Sara said a light to her eyes.

Emily was disgusted by the site, this woman really did just think of her girlfriend and friend as a toy, a play thing, for her to toss around and spit back out when she was finished with.

She had no remorse.

She was the alpha in the duo that she had established with Charles.

Charles may have made the first kill, he may have come up the premise for what it was they have done over the years, but Sara was obviously the in-force.

The one who Charles met after that first year.

The one that changed the MO of the kills so drastically to turn a trophy kill into a torture parade.

She was more in control than any of them thought, they had thought she didn't want to talk to anyone to save herself in a non-effective way, but now Emily could see that was not the case.

She wanted to continue the torture, bringing Emily and her team mates into it.

Knowing they had to hear about the sick things that happened to their team mates to help close this case down and there was very little they could do about it to stop her, as if they wanted to keep her in prison for the length of time they were hoping, in Emily's case until she was dead, they would need as much information as possible to make that happen.

" _What kind of 'games' did you play with Dr. Reid."_ Emily asked, knowing she need to control this conversation rather than letting Sara have control over it fully.

She couldn't be blind sighted by who and what it was that they were talking about right now as hard as that was going to be.

She was going to have to compartmentalise as best she could.

She needed to close all those little boxes in her mind and keep to the task at hand, she had to not let this woman faze her, not let the brutality of what happened to her girlfriend and friend get to her.

She had to do it for them, so that she and her team could send these sick people to prison and never have to see them again as long as they live.

" _Why don't you ask him?"_ Sara replied with a smile.

" _I'm asking you right now."_ Emily countered.

" _I don't know if I should say. Its personal to me and the boy scout, we had a lot of fun playing them, don't wanna go letting others know so they can steal our memories."_ Sara replied trying to act thoughtful.

" _I can assure you Dr. Reid and Agent Jareau did not have fun playing your 'games'."_ Emily replied simply but surely.

" _Are you sure of that?"_ Sara asked mockingly.

" _Yes."_ Emily said.

" _Really though? I mean Jenny never told you of her family till recently did she? What if she kept more from you? What if she secretly loves to be hurt and to play like we did with her?"_ Sara replied smirking as she watched Emily's eyes narrow in anger at her.

" _She may not have told me everything, but I know her, more than you will ever know, more than you claim to know her. Answer my question."_ Emily demanded after defencing her relationship with her girlfriend, not that she needed to, she could see what Sara was trying to do.

" _It was a nail you know?"_ Sara said with a smile after a long pause.

" _In her hand, a big rusty one. We had to give her an injection to stop her from getting blood poising from it. Strange as it sounds I never wanted to kill her, not her body anyway, just her mind."_ Sara continued before Emily had the chance to cut in.

Sara wanted to shock Emily, to throw her off her game.

From the looks of Emily's facial expression she had managed to do so.

Emily was finding it hard to compartmentalise this interview, she knew they were getting to where they needed to be, but she couldn't stop the anger she was feeling.

She was angry at Sara for hurting JJ, she was angry at her for her lack or remorse or care in the way she spoke about what they had done to JJ and Reid.

She was angry this just seemed like a massive game to Sara.

" _You hammered a nail in her hand repeatedly?"_ Emily asked for clarification, trying to control her anger.

" _Yeah. She loved it she knew at that stage that she deserved what she had coming to her. She knew that she was filth and that she needed to suffer the way she made her own mother suffer. The way she made her whole family suffer. She did those cute little screams when it went it. I think it actually hurt her more when we made the scout pull it out again."_ Sara said with a laugh, enjoying the memory in her mind and Emily's discomfort

Emily felt a sickness rise in her stomach as she listened to the words Sara spat at.

It was obvious Sara really did believe what she said, but why?

Emily had an idea of what it was that caused the damage to JJ's hand but she had no idea that Reid had been there when it happened, that he had been forced to pull it out just so they could hammer it back in again.

No wonder he felt so guilty all the time, even though Emily knew none of this was his fault she couldn't help but feel a little bit of anger at him for it, he could have refused, but what would they have done if he had?

Was him doing this the lesser of two evils?

" _He thought he was protecting her by doing it you know, such a nice boy, he tried to take it out as gently as possible, but the slower he went the more it hurt her. I told him if he did I would stop playing with her for a few hours. I did. I'm always true to my word. I just failed to mention I would stop playing with her so that Charles could."_ Sara said with giggle at the end, as though she was a child retelling the best story on earth which only made Emily feel even sicker.

" _Charles wanted her to know how her mother felt when she was conceived, he told me the first time he played with her how tight she was. I wasn't there to hear her screams that day, had an errand to run, but oh I bet they were delicious. She screamed well for me to when I whipped her and burnt her but not like she did for him. Almost made me jealous, I wanted to get those scream out of her, reduce her to a trembling crying mess like he did. He truly is a gifted man."_ Sara said in awe.

Emily wanted to scream herself.

She wanted to take the chair that she was sat on and beat Sara to death with it.

She couldn't though, she wanted to so badly but she couldn't.

Taking a few deep breaths she tried to push the building rage she felt back down and focused on why she was here.

" _Why?"_ Emily asked simply, it was the only thing she could think to say right now.

" _Why is he gifted?"_ Sara asked confused.

" _No, why did you do this? Why hurt all those women? Why hurt Dr. Reid? Why hurt Agent Jareau the way you did? You both brutalised and tortured her much more than any of the previous victims and Dr. Reid. This was personal to you. So why?"_ Emily asked.

" _That devil child took Donnie away from me."_ Sara replied with ease.

" _No he did that himself the moment he shot Sandra Collins. This is something else. Something bigger and more personal. What did he pay more attention to her than you or something?"_ Emily asked mockingly, even though she felt disgusted by the thought of him paying any kind of attention to JJ what so ever.

" _She shouldn't have even been born, she was lucky to even be alive. He gave her what she deserved."_ Sara said with ease as though she had said that sentence time and time again.

" _She was a child, no child deserves to go through what she did regardless of how they came about in the first place."_ Emily replied with conviction.

Emily just couldn't understand how Sara could think this way, how anyone could think this way, just because someone is born from a bad circumstance it does not make them bad themselves, they have no control over the way in which they are brought to existence.

" _She needed to be reminded of what she was, what she is. A devil child, born from sin, born in sin. She wasn't planned nor wanted, she was forced upon her family and they had to suffer through her existence."_ Sara said simply.

" _That wasn't her fault, she had no control over the circumstances that led to her birth, she was an innocent in what happened just like her mother, just like your baby."_ Emily said pulling out the information Garcia had found from the file and sliding it across the table to Sara.

" _I don't have a baby."_ Sara insisted not even at the piece of paper in front of her.

" _No you don't. But you could have. We read your medical files, we know you had a miscarriage not long after Donald was taken into custody ten years ago."_ Emily said pointedly looking down to the file in front of Sara before looking back up to her again to gage her reaction.

" _Then you know that she is the reason my baby died!"_ Sara replied angrily.

" _No she isn't. Agent Jareau didn't force you to take the amount of drugs you were taking, you did that all on your own. Your body couldn't cope with the amount of drugs you were pumping into your system and neither could your baby."_ Emily said firmly.

" _Stop lying! It was her fault, she destroyed my life! She shouldn't have even been born, if she wasn't she wouldn't have been able to kill my baby, to take Donnie's future, to ruin Michael, he was like a father to me, he was going to be my father in law until she got in the way!"_ Sara spat in anger.

" _It would be so much easier for you if that was true wouldn't it? But it's not. Michael ruined himself by covering for Donald the way he did, Donald threw away his future away when he pulled out that gun, your baby died when you decided to become a drug addict rather than deal with everything else that was going on around you. These were choices each of you had and each of you made. They were you're choices and your choices alone. It's always easier to blame someone else than it is to face the truth."_ Emily said standing.

" _Where are you going? We haven't finished talking."_ Sara asked confused.

" _Yes we have. The BAU has finished interviewing you now, we know all we need to know. Charles Tyln did what he did to restore his power from the trophy kill he claimed as his own 17 years ago. You helped him because you needed to take you anger out on others that had experienced something similar to yourself and as it was easier to blame someone else for what you did to your baby your anger came out fully Jennifer because you an her are more similar than you want us to realise."_ Emily said collecting the papers from the file and walking towards the door.

 _"I'm nothing like her at all!"_ Sara insisted with anger.

" _You both spent your lives trying to apologise to those around you for something that you had no control over. The way in which you were conceived. What happened to Agent Jareau's Mother also happened to your own didn't it?"_ Emily asked as she reached the door, already knowing the answer.

" _I've never told anyone that, not even Donnie, how did you know?"_ Sara asked shocked.

" _You're behaviour speaks volumes even when you're words don't."_ Emily simply said.

" _You hate her so much because unlike you she managed to keep her innocence, she managed to keep a light about her that you couldn't. She is what you could have been, what you wanted to be before everything got too much and it was just easier to get high and forget everything and everyone. I'm sorry that that happened to you no child deserves to be treated or made to feel bad over something they had no control over."_ Emily said, it was the truth, she did feel sorry for Sara in a small way, but at the same time she wanted her to suffer.

Sara knew what JJ was going through when they were both younger and even though she knew how it felt she did nothing at all to help her, she made the choice to make things worse for her.

Just like she made the choice to depend on drug.

Just like she made the choice to do everything she did to those other woman, to Reid and to JJ.

" _She isn't so innocent anymore, we made sure of that. I had great fun in breaking her apart. Have fun trying to fit the pieces back together Agent Prentiss."_ Sara replied smugly, she didn't care that Emily knew about her and her past, she had done what she set out to do, she made Jennifer suffer for everything just like she promised Donnie years ago.

" _I won't need to. You didn't break her. You tried hard to, all of you did, when she was younger and when you took her to those caves. That's why you both hurt her so much, you tried to destroy her but you couldn't, do you know why?"_ Emily said turning back around to look Sara in the eyes.

" _Because she feels everything. All the good and all the bad. She lets it all in even though it scares her to do so. So when you had her down in the cave, even though she was terrified she hung on to those good feelings she had felt. She hung onto friendship and love and her trust in me and my team. She trusted that we would find her and that we would be there for her no matter what. She held onto her family, the family that she made for herself."_ Emily continued.

 _"In this family we protect each other fiercely. We don't always admit it to each other but we love one another so deeply that nothing can break us apart. Not even you. You won't be seeing any of us ever again, so I want you to know something. I need you to know that in trying to break us apart you only made us stronger than ever. So just remember that while you are alone in you cell in prison rotting away, with your bitterness, your spite and your hatred, that we have each other and that you failed."_ Emily finished smiling as she turned around to open the door leaving the interview room with a slam to the door behind her.

 **Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

Emily smiled gently as she watched her girlfriends eyes slowly flutter open, the anaesthetic from the operation wearing off bringing her out of her sleep.

Dr. Marsh had told Emily after she returned from the station that the operation had gone very well and she was confident that practice JJ would regain full motor functions in her hand. She had told Emily that JJ would no longer need to wear a cast, but her hand would need to stay dressed and bandaged for at least a further two weeks still the operation wound area had healed.

" _Hey beautiful."_ Emily said as she got up from the chair she had been sitting in next to JJ's bed to crouch down in front of her girlfriend and softly stroke her hand through JJ's hair.

Emily stayed crouched down next to the bed and watched as JJ slowly lifted her hand up that was now bandaged rather than in a cast and looked at it.

She watched as JJ smiled at seeing her hand out of the cast before looking to Emily who smiled back at her. Slowly JJ lifted her hand further to brush her fingers of her bandaged hand slowly along Emily's cheek.

Emily smiled wider before lifting her own hand to catch JJ's, bringing it to her lips to softly kiss before taking her hand in her own.

" _How are you feeling?"_ She asked quietly.

" _Good."_ JJ replied softly.

" _Good."_ Emily repeated.

" _Won't be long till we have you beating us all at darts again now bullseye."_ Morgan said from the doorway where he had been stood watching.

Hearing the voice startled JJ causing her hand to tighten around Emily's slightly, as Emily stood bending down to kiss JJ on the forehead before taking a seat on the bed right next to where her head was knowing that JJ preferred her to be close when the boys were around.

Even though JJ was making great progress in talking and being more confident around everybody in general she was still never nervous of the men in the group or any man that entered her room.

Emily always made sure she was close by when the boys were in the room just in case JJ became frightened and began to panic.

The closer Emily was to her the less likelihood there was of a panic attack and as well as that Emily would be able to pick up on an approaching panic attack much quicker if she was closer.

She would be able to see any changes in the blondes breathing easier, when her breathing became fast and short it was a sign a panic attack was on the way.

She would be able to feel if her girlfriend began to tremble which was another sign of an approaching panic attack.

" _Jayje could beat you any day Morgan, you kinda suck."_ Emily joked as Morgan walked across the room to the take the seat Emily had been sat in besides JJ's bed beforehand.

" _Hey! I'll have you know I'm getting better, isn't that right blondie?"_ Morgan said jokingly being offended by Emily who was not paying attention to him as she was helping JJ sit up on the bed next to her.

" _Sure you are Morgan."_ Emily replied as though congratulating a child while she and JJ made themselves comfortable on the bed, Emily sitting leaning against the headboard as JJ sat leaning against Emily's chest both her hands holding onto Emily's arm that was wrapped securely around her stomach.

Morgan couldn't help but smile at the pair, they looked so natural together.

Emily knew exactly what JJ needed without having to be told and JJ felt so at peace with Emily her confidence grew day by day.

" _Your girlfriend is so mean to me. Make her stop."_ Morgan sulked talking to JJ who smiled before leaning back into her girlfriend further.

" _That your way of saying you're taking her side?"_ Morgan asked laughing as JJ smirked at him.

" _I'll make sure to remember that."_ Morgan joked while smiling to let JJ know he wasn't being serious, it made him happy seeing her like this.

This was the most laid back she had been around him since she had woken up.

He would take a smirking yet quiet JJ any day over a screaming and crying JJ.

He was glad she seemed more at ease around him, even though he knew that that was mainly down to Emily.

He could see how close JJ was sitting in front of her, he could see Emily's fingers gently stroking JJ's stomach while JJ held onto her arm tightly securing her in place.

He could also see that even though her eyes still showed a small amount of fear while she looked at him, it was less than he had seen times before, she was less afraid of him and that made him happy.

" _All joking aside, I'm glad you're operation went well JJ. Reckon I can get a fist bump?"_ Morgan asked holding a fisted hand out towards the blonde.

Both he and Emily watched as JJ eyed his fisted hand before letting go of Emily's arm with her bandaged hand and slowly with deep concentration on her face circled her hand into a loose fist before gently bumping it with Morgan's.

" _How about a high five?"_ He said with a smile, lifting a hand up in the air slightly.

JJ eyed him before shaking her head her bandaged hand going back to Emily's arm as Emily kissed the back of her head pulling her in a little closer.

" _I'll give you a high five."_ Emily said raising an eyebrow in his direction as a challenge.

" _No way! For your information I wasn't going to do a hard slap anyway."_ Morgan said dropping his hand back down before chuckling causing Emily to laugh as well.

It was one of Morgan's known jokes to ask for a high five and slap the persons hand really hard.

Emily catching on to this trick pretty fast had starting trying to hit him back harder after he did it to her the first time.

" _Chicken."_ Emily said after her laughter died down.

" _You scare me Prentiss. You are a terrifying woman."_ Morgan joked, only half serious.

" _Only to those that need to be kept in line."_ Emily joked back, the light-heartedness of the conversation and the peace that filled the room at the moment making her forget about her earlier interview with Sara.

She was with her family now, she had the girl of her dreams wrapped up in arms as the man she viewed as a brother was entertaining the both of them.

This was what family was about, being comfortable with one another.

" _You can keep me in line any day princess."_ Morgan joked.

" _I've told you to stop calling me that Derek."_ Emily replied her eyes narrowing.

" _Aw, come on it suits you. Don't you agree with me JJ?"_ Morgan asked turning to the blonde for help.

Morgan watched as JJ turned slightly in Emily's arms to face her girlfriend, her one hand coming back up to gently trace Emily's face deep in thought.

" _She's my prince."_ JJ replied softly still concentrating on Emily's face her fingers ghosting gently over her girlfriends lips as they turned upwards into a smile.

Morgan smiled watching the interaction.

This was the first time he had heard JJ speak since awaking from the coma, to his knowledge he was the first man she had spoken in front of.

" _And you're my princess."_ Emily replied repeating the words they had spoken to each other the night before JJ had been taken, the night of their roof top date.

" _So, Prince Emily it is then."_ Morgan said laughing as the two agents turned to look at him in surprize the both of them obviously having forgotten he was in the room with them.

JJ smiled shyly at him before cuddling into Emily's side burrowing her head into Emily's shoulder as Emily brought her hands up to JJ's back one of them running up and down her spine softly.

" _I can see you two are getting all 'love bird' like as Garcia would call it, again, so I'll be heading off soon. But before I go I was hoping to talk to you about something JJ?"_ Morgan said posing the end of his sentence as a question to draw the blonde's attention.

He waited until JJ stopped hiding in Emily's shoulder and turned to look at him, while still being in her girlfriends embrace, before looking up to notice Emily's attention was on him as well now, wondering what it was he was going to ask.

" _I think Reid is struggling with what happened to both of you, even though he won't ask I think he really wants to talk to you about it. I think it will help him make sense of everything a little more, I think it will help you make sense of things a little more as well. You don't have to decide anything now, I just thought I would put the idea out there."_ Morgan said, quickly adding the last sentence when he noticed JJ's eyes, which had been trained on him, go almost distant and faraway.

" _I miss him."_ JJ whispered softly, after a pause.

" _Spence."_ She added after a moment to confirm who she was talking about.

" _I don't know if I can talk to him about everything that happened yet."_ JJ said quietly pulling herself out of Emily's embrace to turn and look at her so she was talking more to Emily while answering Morgan.

" _That's okay baby, you don't have to do anything you don't want to."_ Emily assured her gently cupping JJ's cheek with one hand while the other was still running up and down her back.

" _Prentiss is right, we aren't going to make you do anything you don't want to do. It's okay to say no to this if you don't feel you are ready. Reid may not be ready himself yet either. I'm sure he would like to see you even if he isn't ready to talk about what happened yet."_ Morgan said watching his friend closely hoping he had said the right thing and wasn't about to cause her to have another panic attack.

" _I would like to see him."_ JJ said turning to Morgan before quickly turning back to Emily again, she felt nervous about admitting that she wanted to see him again and looking into Emily's eyes always made her feel safe.

Her eyes were always soft and gentle.

Always loving.

Always so distinctly Emily.

" _Garcia is with him now, would you like me to ring them and see if they are free to come over now for a while?"_ Morgan suggested gently not wanting to push her but knowing that visiting JJ would make Reid's day.

Reid had been wanting to visit JJ again ever since she woke from her coma.

Morgan and Garcia had been trying excuse after excuse as to why he shouldn't though knowing that seeing his friend the way she was at first would only heighten his guilt that they had yet been able to talk him out of feeling.

Morgan had a feeling only JJ would be able to make him believe that what happened was in no way his fault which is why he had suggested this in the first place.

He thought broaching the subject with JJ and Emily first would be wise.

He was pretty sure that Reid would jump at the idea of being able to see the blonde and he didn't want to get Reid's hopes up or for him to become upset again if she was still not ready for that.

He watched as JJ looked out the window deep in thought before turning back to look at him then back to Emily nervously.

" _Do you think…maybe…do you think we could go outside when we see each other?"_ JJ asked timidly, her eyes showing fearing at what the reaction to her question would be.

JJ had yet to be outside of the hospital room she was in other than to go to the operating theatre.

She hated being cooped up inside.

At times it was almost suffocating.

She had to look all around the room just to make sure the doors and windows were still open.

She had to check that she wasn't locked in.

She was worried that feeling of being trapped would become worse if her and Reid were in the same room.

She was worried it would cause her to remember being trapped down in the caves and that she would panic.

She was hoping the fresh air and the openness of being outside in the hospital gardens would help relax her mind and Reid's.

" _I don't see that being a problem, but how about we check with Dr. Marsh first, just to make sure you're physically ready to be moved to a chair and ready to be outside."_ Emily said with a smile both her hands coming to rest on JJ's sides her thumps stoking up and down gently.

" _Why don't I go find her and ask while you find something a little warmer for bullseye's here to wear?"_ Morgan asked with a smile as he stood from the hospital chair and stretched.

Emily looked at JJ who nodded with a smile, she smiled back to her girlfriend before turning back to Morgan who was waiting by the door expectantly.

" _Sounds good, when you find her can you ask her to come see us so we know whether to join you guys outside or not?"_ Emily asked him.

 _"Sure."_ Morgan confirmed before walking out the hospital room.

 _"See you later Prince Prentiss and Princess Jareau!"_ He called back from the hallway he was walking down causing them both to smile again as Emily rolled her eyes at her friends antics.

* * *

 **AN:** so…don't forget to let me know what you think!


	22. Chapter Twenty-Two: Moving Forward

**AN:** Hey everybody, so I was wondering, I am the only having some tech issues with , things like emails not being sent to tell you that there are new chapters of stories you have followed, or not letting you see reviews people have posted, weirdness, anyway on with the story!

Thank you to everyone who is likeing/faving/reading/reviewing my story, it really is awesome to hear from you so please continue to do so!

 **Letirreis:** glad you enjoyed the interview scene, it was hard to write and I was a little worried about it to be honest I wasn't sure if I had captured Emily right, but I'm glad you thought it went well. Hope you enjoy this next chapter, let me know what you think.

 **USCutie15:** Thank you for your review, you don't have to wait long, I hope you enjoy this next update! Let me know what you think.

 **Elphiemolizbethbau:** Thank you for your review, I'm really glad you are still loving the story and I hope you continue to do so, let me know what you think of this next update.

 **fallenangel1396:** Thank you so much for your review, you will have to let me know what you think of them when and if you get the chance to take a look. I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter, as for the JJ and Reid interaction you'll have to read and see! Let me know what you think.

 **Wausie:** Thank you for reading and reviewing, I'm glad you are enjoying the story and hope you continue to do so, and if you like the storyline of this story there is a one shot series I am writing to accompany it you can find through my profile if you wish to check it out. Let me know what you think of this next chapter.

 **Thalie57:** Thank you so much for your review and your pm's, I'm glad you are enjoying the story and that I am writing the subjects in a way that holds their seriousness and holds the tenderness they need at the same time, I hope you continue to enjoy this next update and the ones to come, let me know what you think.

 **AN:** Righty, on with the chapter guys, hope you all enjoy, and those that were missing and wanting some more of JJ's childhood flashbacks may be happily surprised in this chapter! Don't forget to drop a review and let me know what you think!

 **WARNINGS:** **Mentions of suicide and abuse in this chapter.**

* * *

 **Chapter Twenty-Two: Moving Forward.**

 **March 27** **th** **10 Years Ago.**

The house was quiet, the only two residents having gone to bed hours ago.

It had been a long and tiring two months since Susan Jareau had been called to the hospital to find out about the state her granddaughter Jennifer was in, and the hell the young girl had been living through.

Now finally the trial was over, Michael Collins and Donald Collins were both in Gaol where they deserved to be.

Jennifer had now been placed into full custody of her Grandmother, Susan Jareau, and for her own protection the courts had allowed for Jennifer to legally change her second name from Collins to Jareau.

After leaving the trial Jennifer and Susan had packed up the last of their belongings from Susan's Sons, Ray Jareau's, place where they had been staying.

They had then moved to their new home, a small three bedroomed bungalow.

Ray had not wanted them to leave at first, he knew Susan, his mother, was not as fit as she once was and he also knew that taking care of teenager was hard enough without the added problems Jennifer was likely to have.

He wanted to help, he too had felt guilty.

He felt he hadn't done enough to help Jennifer and Rosaline after their mother had died, he felt he had let his sister down by not protecting their children.

Susan though, had decided it was best for her and Jennifer to get a place of their own, a place that was close enough for Ray to visit but far enough for Jennifer to be able to finally relax.

A place where not every single person walking down the street would know her life story from the trial that had taken place.

So that was exactly what the two Jareau women had done.

They had packed up and moved to a small town just outside of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.

A town that was not surrounded by woodland, one of Jennifer's requests when asked where she would like to move.

A town that had a great school which Jennifer would be attending in the new schooling year in the fall, giving them both time to get settled into their new routine before adding schooling to the list of possible stressors for the both of them.

Even though the house was quiet, Susan Jareau had found herself awoken by the small noises coming from her granddaughter's room, looking to her bedside clock she could see it was 3.23am.

Slowly she got out of bed and slipped on a dressing gown found at the bottom of her bed before walking out the bedroom door and making her way down the hallway towards Jennifer's bedroom.

Opening the door to Jennifer's new bedroom Susan poked her head around to see her granddaughter was not sleeping as soundly as she would have hoped.

Jennifer was whimpering in her sleep, her body twisting and turning in the bed sheets a thin layer sweat on her forehead.

Walking into the room Susan sighed as she crossed towards Jennifer's bed and took a seat on the edge next to her granddaughter.

Susan had thought Jennifer's nightmares were getting better since she left the hospital and had stayed with herself and her son Ray, she had thought Jennifer was beginning to feel safe around herself, safe in the thought that she would not hurt her.

She knew it was a possibility that the nightmares would return again, the trial would have brought them back, she was hoping it wouldn't have been with the force in which they had.

This looked like a bad one, usually Jennifer was quiet when having a nightmare, the only sign of one would be her erratic movements.

Sounds were a sign it was bad, whimpers, screaming and crying only ever happened during bad nightmares and those were the hardest ones to wake the fourteen year old from.

Also the hardest ones to try and comfort her from.

" _Jennifer sweetheart, you're safe here. Open your eyes for me."_ Susan said to her granddaughter hoping to pull her from her nightmare quickly.

Sometimes speaking to her in her sleep would help calm a nightmare and or pull her from its terrifying clutches, other times it wouldn't work at all.

This seemed to be one of those times.

Seeing that talking to Jennifer was not going to help pull her from her nightmare this time, Susan lifted her hand that had been laying on her own lap to gently start stroking her granddaughter's hair, while she shook her shoulder firmly with the other hand.

For a moment it seemed that this was not going to work either until suddenly Jennifer shot up straight in bed her eyes large and wild as a loud scream tore out of her throat.

Thinking quickly Susan turned the bedside lamp on filling the bedroom with light, knowing that Jennifer would always calm quicker if she could see room that she was in, seeing that the door was open and that she was not locked in.

" _It's okay Jennifer, you were having a nightmare. No one's going to hurt you, you're safe here with me."_ Susan said moving to touch her granddaughter however stopping when she saw Jennifer flinch away from her touch and fold into herself, her arms wrapped tightly around her drawn up legs with her head bowed down atop of them.

" _Please don't, please, I'll be quiet, don't lock me in there."_ Jennifer begged beginning to rock on the bed back and forth trying to comfort herself.

" _No one's going to lock you in anywhere sweetheart. Look at me, you're not there anymore, they can't hurt you anymore."_ Susan said gently, she wanted so badly to take the girl into her arms and hold her, but she knew from experience that would probably do more harm than good right now.

Jennifer was still in the last remnants of her nightmare and any physical contact was likely to scare her and cause her to react by closing in on herself even more than she already was.

Susan could see the girl was already terrified from the nightmare, her breathing was already erratic, she didn't want to make things any worse than they already were.

Right now the best course of action she could think of was to quietly talk to her granddaughter until she calmed down enough to realise she wasn't in any danger.

She had to let Jennifer pull herself from the last remnants of the nightmare on her own.

" _They can't hurt you anymore darling, I promise you they will never hurt you again, I know you are scared and it doesn't seem like it now, but you have to believe me when I say that everything is going to be okay now. You are safe here, you're safe with me."_ Susan continued trying to help her granddaughter shake the last parts of her nightmare from her mind through her words.

She sighed in relief when she saw Jennifer slowly lift her head from her knees, her blonde locks sticking to her sweaty forehead slightly, and look around at her surroundings warily as though checking what she had been told was the truth.

" _Grandma?"_ Jennifer asked quietly, still dazed, her frightened blues eyes fell to the woman sat next to her with identical deep baby blues eyes.

" _I'm here daring."_ Susan replied softly with a small smile keeping her gaze locked with Jennifer's watching as her granddaughter loosened the tight hold her arms had around her drawn up legs and took a few deep breaths to calm her erratic breathing.

" _I'm sorry."_ Jennifer apologised quickly, looking down to the bed spread.

" _You have nothing to be sorry for."_ Susan replied quickly, almost routinely.

" _But I woke you up, again."_ Jennifer said unsure, her voice quiet, her muscles taunt as though waiting to be struck at any moment.

" _It's okay. Like I've told you before I would rather that you wake me when you have a nightmare, whether purposely or not. I want to be there for you to help you through this Jennifer, you're not alone anymore. You do understand that don't you?"_ Susan asked gently watching closely as Jennifer listened to her intently almost as though she was waiting for instructions to do something.

The young blonde didn't answer her grandmother, she just continued to watch her warily, even though her grandmother had been nothing but kind to her for the last two months since she had taken her in, Jennifer was still sure in her mind that she was going to be punished any moment.

In her mind she thought she had done something wrong, she thought she had done a lot of things wrong in the last few months and that the lessons awaiting her were going to be terrible and painful.

She was terrified to let her guard down.

She knew deep down that her grandmother would not hurt her, she had never done so beforehand, so she wouldn't do now, would she?

However, it had been such a long time she had been shown such kindness she didn't know what to make of it.

The last time she hadn't been punished for having a nightmare was over three years ago when Rosaline was alive.

She had had a nightmare the night her sister had killed herself.

Rosaline had woken her up and comforted her, making her feel safe enough to fall back asleep again next to her elder sister.

She could still remember the words her sister had said to her on that last night they spent together in her own bedroom.

 _ **No matter what happens remember I always love you Jenny, I wish I could make you feel less scared but I don't know how to do that for myself, let alone for you.**_ – Jennifer could hear those words softly spoken by her sister as she fell asleep as though Rosaline was speaking them to her right now.

It wasn't till she had found Rosaline in the bathroom that she realised what her sister had meant.

She was scared, and she didn't know how to deal with it anymore, so she took her fear away forever.

" _Jennifer?"_ Susan prompted after noticing how her granddaughter had failed to answer her, how the girl appeared to be completely lost in her own thoughts.

Susan watched as Jennifer's head snapped to the side quickly looking back at her startled, she smiled to the blonde before her, hoping that with that simple action she would be able to reassure her that she wasn't in trouble.

Looking to the side of the bed Susan found the new dressing gown she had brought her granddaughter folded neatly on a chair.

Standing, she picked up the dressing gown and passed it to Jennifer who took it in her hands looking up to her warily.

" _I don't know if your mother either told you and Rosaline about this, but I used to have an elder sister, I too lost her when I was young. I remember one night there was a terrible thunderstorm, one of those ones with terrifying winds and rain that floods the streets. The storm got so bad it was bringing trees down everywhere. One of the trees smashed into our house so hard it fell through the bedroom window that me and my sister were in. We used to fight over who got the bed by the window, that night I had lost. When the tree fell through it fell on top of her and crushed her. That was the last night I ever saw her."_ Susan reminisced emotionally, just talking about it brought back all the emotions and fear she had felt as a little girl.

" _Grandma I'm so sorry, that's awful."_ Jennifer said her eyes large, she knew the words she had spoken wouldn't take her Grandmothers pain away, but she had no idea what else to say.

" _The events of that night still frighten me to this day, I've seen that you hate storms almost as much as I do, and that your nightmares leave you feeling the same way mine did when I was young. My mother helped me find a way to find peace after the nightmares, it's something I still do to this day, something that helps my mind relax. If you would let me, I would like to show you how to do the same thing."_ Susan said looking at her granddaughter who was sat listening to her intently.

Holding out her hand Susan smiled as she felt Jennifer carefully clasp her outstretched hand in her own she waited until Jennifer had stood from the bed and wrapped the dressing gown around herself for warmth before taking the girls hand in her own hand loosely.

Tugging on her granddaughters arm gently Susan began to lead her out of the bedroom and along the hallway towards the lounge room.

The room had a couch and two small armchairs in it, there was a coffee table in the middle of the sofa and chairs and in front of the coffee table was a TV stand with a TV on.

Susan led Jennifer to the side of the lounge room before she took a seat on a two seater stool in front of an old grand piano.

Looking back up Susan could see Jennifer looked nervous and unsure about the situation, smiling gently she patted the space next to her on the two seater stool waiting until Jennifer lowered herself to sit on the stool next to her.

" _Have you ever played before?"_ Susan asked Jennifer who shook her head in reply.

" _That's good. This will give your mind something else to focus on."_ Susan reassured her granddaughter.

" _What if I'm not any good?"_ Jennifer asked quietly.

" _Then we will find something that suits you more."_ Susan replied.

" _You won't be mad?"_ Jennifer asked confused.

" _No."_ Susan said simply.

Susan studied Jennifer quietly, watching as she ran her fingers gently over the keys not hard enough to make any noise.

" _I also won't be mad if you don't want to do this."_ Susan said after a few moments of silence.

" _I want to."_ Jennifer said quickly.

" _But…I have no idea what to do."_ She finished quietly looking towards the elder woman with nervous eyes.

" _Well, I can help you with that dear, if that is something you would like."_ Susan said smiling as she saw her granddaughter nod her head in response.

 **Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

 **Present Day.**

" _Are you ready Gumdrop?"_ Garcia asked from behind the wheelchair she was pushing.

Emily and JJ had got the all clear from Dr. Marsh who thought it was a good idea for JJ to spend some time outside as long as she didn't over excerpt herself and that she wrapped up warm.

Jennifer was under strict instructions to take things steady, no walking yet, not that her body was healed enough to allow her to walk.

She was to stay in her wheelchair and to come back inside straight away if she started feeling too cold or her injuries were flaring up again.

Garcia had heard the plan from Morgan and decided to leave him to help get Reid get ready to go outside so she could show Emily and JJ the way.

She knew Emily knew where she was going but she thought she could be of more help with them.

She thought it would be a good idea for her to push the wheelchair so that Emily could walk alongside JJ just in case JJ became overwhelmed.

She needn't have worried though, as Garcia was pushing JJ along she could see in the reflection of every window that they passed that JJ looked the most relaxed she had been in a long time looking out the windows while holding Emily's hand as Emily walked alongside her.

" _I'm really glad we can go outside, I don't like being inside all day long."_ JJ replied quietly turning to talk while looking at Emily who smiled back down at her and tightened her hold on JJ's hand.

" _I know you hate being stuck here Jay, but you are getting stronger everyday now, maybe we can start spending more time outside if today goes well."_ Emily supplied giving JJ's hand a gentle squeeze as JJ nodded to her excitedly.

" _Well you won't have to stay inside any longer today, here we go!"_ Garcia exclaimed as Emily pushed open the door leading towards a small garden area outside the hospital.

Emily walked through the door first still holding onto JJ's hand as she used her back to push the door open further and hold it open for Garcia to push JJ's wheelchair through as the three of them made their way outside into the small garden area.

Walking through the door last Garcia closed it gently behind them before pushing JJ along a pathway that had shrubs and flower beds on either side up towards a square slabbed patio area that had a table and chairs in the middle of it.

As they walked towards the patio area they could see that Reid and Morgan were already there sat at the table.

Morgan, who was facing the direction in which they were approaching smiled at them, Reid was however still unaware of their approach, Morgan had decided not to tell Reid of their plans, he wanted it to be a surprise.

" _Hey guys, mind if we join you."_ Emily said as they moved onto the patio causing Reid to turn in his chair slightly to look behind himself, his eyes widening in surprise as he looked straight at JJ.

Emily felt JJ's hand hold her own a little tighter under their friends stare.

" _Hey Spence."_ JJ whispered nervously shuffling in her chair slightly to be closer to Emily who was stood beside her.

She had no idea why she was so nervous, but it felt weird seeing Reid again after so long, after everything that happened to them, the first time she saw him upon waking up was a bit of blur.

" _Hey JJ."_ Reid replied with a smile, which grew into a grin when he noticed JJ return his smile just as genuinely as he had given his own.

" _Pretty boy here, just challenged me to a game of Monopoly. You girls in?"_ Morgan asked from across the table causing JJ to look at the table and see the board lay out ready for the game to begin behind Reid.

" _OOO! Monopoly is my game, prepare to cry chocolate thunder!"_ Garcia squealed from behind JJ causing her to jump startled as Garcia dashed to the table and took a seat next to Morgan starting to sort out the money for each player passing the property cards to Reid who had now turned back around to face the table again.

He had noticed JJ's nervousness and didn't want to scare her, there was so much he wanted to say to her, but he didn't want to do it with everybody watching them and he was sure that she didn't want that either.

Emily gently pried her hand from JJ's before using her hand to softly stoke her hair waiting for JJ to turn and look at her, ignoring the conversation currently taking place at the table between Morgan and Garcia.

" _Do you want to play?"_ She asked when she had her girlfriend's attention watching as JJ nodded her head in return, looking to the table then back to her again nervously.

" _You're staying with us, you're going to play too… right?"_ JJ asked quietly, still looking into Emily's eyes nervously, she didn't want Emily to leave her here, she knew deep down that she was safe with her friends around the table, but she always felt safest with Emily near her.

" _Of course, I'm not going anywhere."_ Emily reassured JJ bending down slightly to kiss her on her forehead, before stepping behind the wheelchair to take Garcia's abandoned position and wheel JJ up to the table so she was sitting next to Reid, who turned and smiled at her noticing her sat next to him.

Emily locked the breaks on the wheelchair before moving around to JJ's over side and taking a seat on one of the table's chairs next to her girlfriend, who quickly reached for her hand.

" _You okay?"_ Emily asked gently as she rubbed little circles on JJ's hand with her thumb, she watched as JJ nodded and relaxed into her chair, before turning to Reid who had passed her the iron playing piece knowing it was her favourite.

JJ smiled in thanks to Reid who quietly told her to watch out for Morgan as he always cheated at Monopoly, JJ nodded in response to Reid's warning and told him that Garcia was just as bad.

" _Looks like we are missing a few characters, this is the only one left Prentiss."_ Morgan said handing Emily a little silver boot pulling her attention away from JJ and Reid's quiet interaction with each other.

" _Damn, I always get the boot."_ Emily said with an eye roll.

" _It suits you."_ Morgan said with a smirk as Emily raised an eyebrow in his direction and Garcia stifled a chuckle fake coughing into her hand causing JJ and Reid to turn away from each other and back towards the others at the table, watching the interaction intently.

" _Yeah? How's that?"_ Emily challenged.

" _It's as tough as leather, just like you."_ Morgan said sweetly.

" _Sure, something tells me that wasn't what you were going to say."_ Emily replied.

" _You're being paranoid, like I would say anything bad."_ Morgan joked as Garcia handed everybody their pile of Monopoly money.

" _I think we should work together Jay, make sure he doesn't win this time."_ Emily said leaning closer to JJ while eyeing Morgan across the table, smiling as JJ nodded smirking in Morgan's direction.

" _Spence you in?"_ JJ whispered in Reid's direction as she also eyed Morgan who was counting and sorting his money seeming oblivious to the plans being made around the table.

" _Absolutely."_ Reid replied with a smile, before telling JJ they should between them buy all the cheap properties and put lots of houses on them.

" _You guys know I can hear you right?"_ Morgan said not looking up from sorting his money.

" _Well, you've always had big ears."_ Emily replied now shuffling her money into a neat handful.

" _What's this? Pick on Morgan day?"_ Morgan partially joked looking up from his assorted money.

" _I don't know where you are getting that idea from."_ Emily replied innocently across from him, before turning to watch JJ and Reid who were still quietly talking among themselves.

" _Think he must be getting paranoid in his old age Em."_ Garcia said causing Morgan to look her way in shock, as Emily snorted in laughter and Reid and JJ looked back to the table again to see what had just happened.

" _I am not old Penelope."_ Morgan said scowling.

" _Isn't he the oldest out of us?"_ JJ asked quietly, more to Reid.

" _Yeah you're right JJ. In relation to all of us you are old Morgan."_ Reid supplied causing Emily and Garcia to burst out laughing at the look on Morgan's face.

" _Well in that case, as you're elder you should all show me the respect of letting me roll first."_ Morgan said with a grin as he picked up the dice, shook them in his hand and then dropped them onto the board starting the game off.

* * *

 **AN:** So…what did you think, I thought that flashback worked well here, it's getting you all ready for the finale flashback from JJ's childhood that is coming up in the next few chapter, and show the third part of how JJ gets out of the situation she was in as a child. More team interaction in the next chapter to come and Strauss has a bombshell to drop! Please don't forget to review and let me know what you thought.


	23. Chapter 23: A Kiss is an Action

Hey everybody, I hope you are all well, I'm so sorry with how long it has been since the last update to this story and the one shots, I have been in hospital this week undergoing a operation in my foot to refuse a joint that had been broken some years ago and never healed right, i hadn't expected the operation to come along as quickly as it did which is why I had gone radio silent, there was a cancellation and they squeezed me in which didn't give me enough time to let you all know what was going on.

I'm very sorry for the delay in updates but I am back home now and hope to get to a normalcy in updates for you by the end of this week for both of my stories, thank you to everyone who is reading and reviewing I do love to hear from you all and I'm sorry if I have been late getting back to you with any of your questions this past week I will try to catch up as soon as possible.

I'm conscious about wanting to get this chapter out to you all asap tonight so will leave replying to reviews until the next chapter is posted, but thank you all again for all your reviews we have reached over 160 now which I find amazing, please keep letting me know what you all think.

 **WARNINGS: Mentions of violence, rape, and sexual assault.**

* * *

 **Chapter Twenty-Three: A Kiss is an Action.**

" _You and Smarty-Pants just completely crushed my Chocolate Thunder out there you know? I don't think I have ever seen him look so defeated, it's going to take a lot for his ego to bounce back from that one, who knew you were such a dark horse when it came to Monopoly."_ Garcia said continuing the one sided recounting of the game they had finished outside in the gardens she had been retelling while wheeling JJ back inside the hospital and into her room.

" _Okay here we are, palace Jareau! I am here to abide your every need. Are you warm enough? To warm? Can I get you anything to drink? Or to eat? Or maybe – Gumdrop?"_ Garcia trailed off looking at her friend who seemed to be lost in thought staring at a spot on the floor, almost frozen in place.

" _Sweetie? Are you okay?"_ Garcia asked as she kneeled down in front of JJ, who was still sat frozen in her wheelchair, trying to get her attention.

" _Jayj? I'm sorry, did I overwhelm you again? I just get so excited, you know you're okay right? You're safe with me Gumdrop. Can you hear me?"_ Garcia continued, she was starting to feel very guilty, she had promised Emily they would be fine, but they had barely made it back inside before she had managed to overwhelm JJ, again.

When wrapping up the Monopoly game outside, Hotch and Gideon had come to see them and asked to speak with Emily for a while in private. Emily had refused at first not wanting to leave JJ, but JJ had assured her that she would be okay, as long as Emily wasn't too long. Garcia had said she would stay with JJ until Emily got back, and would call her immediately if anything happened.

Emily had still been reluctant to leave, it wasn't until Hotch assured her they would not be leaving the hospital as well as Garcia's assurances to call her if JJ wanted her to come back that Emily agreed before checking once again with JJ that it was okay with her.

JJ had been nervous and didn't really want Emily to go, but she knew deep down that Emily had too, she still had a job to do, the team needed her, and JJ needed to at least try and see if she could manage a small amount of time without having Emily by her side.

She needed to see if she could do this for herself, as well as for Emily.

Emily needed time away from her, even though she said she was fine and tried to be strong all the time JJ could see Emily needed some alone time to try and get her head around everything that had happened in the last month.

JJ wanted so much to be able to give her that time, but her fear kept getting in the way.

That's why she needed to be able to do this today, to give Emily this time, to allow Emily to see she could leave her for small amounts of time when she needed her space and that everything would be okay.

Watching JJ now Garcia started to mentally berate herself, she knew she shouldn't have gotten so excited, but she just couldn't help herself.

The afternoon they had all just spent together was amazing, they had all had so much fun. It had been great to see JJ and Reid relax so much around each other and everybody else, it was great to be able to joke around and laugh with each other without being worried of sending either of her younger friends into a panic attack.

Now though it seemed that without Emily by her side the afternoon had caught up to JJ and she was beginning to feel nervous in her surroundings again as well as tired.

" _Jayje, do you need me to call Emily? Would you like her to come back now? She won't mind, in fact she's probably looking for an escape route right now."_ Garcia joked, trying to coax her friend out of her frozen state, she watched worriedly as JJ's eyes snapped back up to look at her, before slowly scanning the room warily.

Garcia sighed in relief when JJ's eyes came back to focus on her own looking at her sheepishly.

" _Are you back with me now Gumdrop?"_ Garcia asked while smiling reassuringly at her friend.

Emily had told her how sometimes for no reason JJ would freeze up unexpectedly, almost as though something overwhelmed her mind and caused her whole body to short circuit.

Emily had told Garcia that when this happened the best thing to do was not to touch her but just talk to her until she found her way back, just in case the reason she had frozen was due to a flashback.

" _I'm sorry."_ JJ whispered looking down.

" _Don't be, you haven't done anything wrong. I'm sorry I overwhelmed you."_ Garcia replied causing JJ to look back up at her quickly.

" _You didn't."_ JJ insisted quickly.

" _You sure?"_ Garcia asked looking unsure, the quickness that JJ replied with didn't help ease her mind at all, she knew from past conversations a quick denial usually meant the opposite of what was being said but that JJ was too nervous to admit so.

She watched as JJ hesitated before nodding.

" _Would you like me to call Emily?"_ Garcia asked, she was worried that with the progress they had already made today things would become too much for her friend and the last thing any of them wanted was for JJ to end up going backwards in her recovery.

" _I'm okay."_ JJ said quietly after a moment of silence.

" _Emily said she wouldn't be long."_ JJ said unsure.

" _And you're going to stay till she's back, right?"_ JJ continued her eyes trained on Garcia's.

" _Of course, you're going to have trouble getting rid of me that easily! You are stuck with me till further notice Sugar."_ Garcia assured her, earning a small laugh in the process from the blonde in front of her.

" _You're a good friend Pen."_ JJ said earnestly after a moment's thought.

" _You too, Gumdrop."_ Garcia replied gently.

" _Why do you call me that?"_ JJ asked suddenly.

" _What? Gumdrop?"_ Garcia countered.

" _Yeah."_ JJ said simply.

" _It's just, you always call me that, you have done for a while, I didn't really think about it till recently but then it made me wonder why?"_ She continued warily.

" _Do you not like me calling you Gumdrop?"_ Garcia asked gently, trying to understand where the question was coming from and why it had been asked.

" _No, it's not that. It's just…when I was younger and…when me and Spence…when we were down there…they called me names. Specific names, which turned into nicknames for me I guess…Like 'JJ', they had a story and meaning behind them…you always call people nicknames on the team…I know why you call Spence Smarty-Pants…Morgan Chocolate God or Thunder, and Em Sweet-Cheeks…they all make sense…but I don't understand why you call me Gumdrop."_ JJ said nervously, she was unsure of herself in asking a question that seemed so bold, she was hoping Garcia wouldn't take her inquisitiveness the wrong way.

" _Gumdrop just suited you, it does suit you. Gumdrops are tiny but powerful and so incredibly sweet. They are one of my favourite sweets just you like are one of my favourite people. That's why you are Gumdrop to me, always have been and always will be."_ Garcia responded simply adding wink for good affect afterwards.

Garcia watched as JJ smiled to her seemingly accepting the answer before fidgeting around in the wheelchair she was sat in trying to get comfortable.

" _Would you like me to help you get back into the bed?"_ Garcia asked.

JJ looked back to her after hearing the question before looking to the bed, she hated having to stay in bed all the time, she had really enjoyed being in the chair and outside the hospital for the few hours she had spent out there but in truth her body was beginning to ache.

" _I'm not sure."_ JJ answered still looking at the bed.

Being out of the bed had been a massive relief for JJ.

It was partly the bed that made her afraid of letting anyone other than Emily touch her.

It reminded her of the things Charles did to her.

She knew the team would never hurt her, but it still didn't stop the fear she felt at being in a position that made it easier for people to hurt her like Charles had done.

" _I don't like being on the bed."_ JJ admitted in a whisper looking down to the ground, she was embarrassed of feeling like this, she was embarrassed of how scared she was.

 _"You don't have to if you don't want to, but you might be more comfortable laying down for a bit."_ Garcia reasoned gently, standing to pull the bed sheets back a little bit just in case JJ decided to give the bed a try for a while.

JJ lifted her head to watch as Garcia pulled the bed sheets back a little lifting them from the metal framework.

" _No."_ JJ begged in a murmur as she noticed something on the bed that she hadn't seen before, something she had never wanted to see again.

Turning around after hearing the murmured beg Garcia gasped at the sight in front of her.

JJ was trembling in her chair, tears streaming down her face as she sat staring at the bed.

" _Jayje! Hey, hey look at me! It's okay. Come on sweet girl look at me."_ Garcia said panicked, while crouching down in front of JJ again trying to get her attention onto herself and off of the bed before her friend was thrown full force into a flashback.

JJ closed her eyes tightly as her mind was invaded with memories from her time spent with Charles.

She felt herself struggling to breathe and think clearly as her mind became overwhelmed with flashbacks of her time in the cave with Charles.

She remembered waking up on that bed with Charles cleaning the wounds on her back.

She remembered him restraining her to the bed so she couldn't move.

 _ **Do you think she will still want you after I'm done with you?**_

She remembered him ignoring her as she cried and screamed in pain for him to stop.

She remembered the intense pain and pressure her body was under with every thrust he made.

 _ **Suck it up Devil Child, you want to feel what your mother felt don't you? Do you think your dad was gentle with her?**_

She remembered the sickening smile on his face as he came undone inside of her.

She remembered the relief she felt when she thought it was over.

 _ **We're just getting started Jenny, don't you worry. I'll make you nice and loose for you girlfriend.**_

She remembered him biting her in places he shouldn't even be touching, claiming her when she was not his to claim.

She remembered him striking her face when she tried close her eyes, when she tried to block out what he was doing.

 _ **Eyes on my Jenny, I want you to remember this.**_

" _It's okay baby, you're safe here. Open your eyes Jay."_

" _Stop, get off of me!"_

" _Jayje can you hear me? It's Emily, look at me baby."_

 _ **Open your eyes and look at me.**_

" _No! Emily! Emily help, I don't want it, make it stop! Make it stop! Emily!"_

 _ **You love this don't you? You're a little whore just like Donnie said.**_

" _I'm here baby, I promise you I'm right here, I just need you to open those beautiful eyes and see that it's me. I promise you are safe here Jennifer, just listen to my voice, concentrate on my voice. You are safe here, no one can hurt you, I won't let anybody hurt you like that again I promise you Jennifer. I need you to trust me and open your eyes for me."_

Part of her mind was screaming at her not to trust the voice she could hear that sounded so much like Emily, it was telling her to keep her eyes closed, to block it all out like she had tried to do before.

Another part of her mind though, the part that was slowly winning, was telling her to trust in Emily, trust in the voice she could hear, trust that she was safe, that this was Emily here with her now and that Emily would never let anyone hurt her.

Slowly and cautiously JJ opened her eyes and lifted her head from her arms warily from where she had been hiding trying to escape from Charles and her memories.

She blinked her eyes a couple of times finding them blurry from the tears she could feel still streaming down her face, she felt almost faint, her chest was heaving as she tried hard to take in deep breaths but couldn't.

" _Emily."_ JJ whimpered panicked, her eyes weren't focusing, she couldn't see her yet.

" _I'm here baby."_ Emily said gently, she was sat night in front of JJ on the floor.

Garcia had called her in a panic asking her to come back right away, what she had found upon returning broke her heart.

JJ had huddled herself into a small ball on the floor against the wall in a corner.

She had been shaking and struggling to breathe while screaming and begging for an invisible attacker to stop hurting her.

Hearing Emily enter the room Garcia had looked up from her place kneeling in front of the blonde trying to bring her out of her memories, to allow Emily to take her place.

Emily had wasted no time as she ran to where JJ was on the floor and dropped to sit in front of her as closely as possible without touching the terrified blonde, she had then begun talking to her calmly trying to soothe the panic her girlfriend was stuck in.

It took at least a full twenty minutes of soft words of encouragement before JJ even began to respond to Emily's voice, let alone open her eyes like Emily was asking her too.

" _It's okay, you're safe now."_ Emily said again, repeating the words as she watched her girlfriend slowly come out of her panic.

Emily could see JJ's eyes darting around the room wildly before they came to rest on her own.

" _It's okay."_ Emily repeated softly as JJ's eyes locked onto her own.

JJ stared into Emily's eyes for a few moments before launching herself into her girlfriend's arms clinging to her desperately.

" _I'm sorry, I didn't want it, I told him to stop, don't leave me, please don't leave me, I promise I didn't want it, he wouldn't stop, I wanted him to stop but he wouldn't, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, please don't leave me"_ JJ begged rambling while crying into Emily's top holding on to her girlfriend for dear life as Emily rocked her gently in her arms trying to soothe her.

" _I'm not going anywhere I promise, I've got you, you're safe now, I've got you. You have nothing to apologise for baby, absolutely nothing."_ Emily told her softly while pulling JJ carefully onto her lap and leaning her back against the wall JJ was hiding into beforehand, swapping their positions around.

" _I'm sorry, I'm sorry."_ JJ continued to murmur through her tears.

" _It's okay, none of this is your fault beautiful."_ Emily soothed.

Emily looked up to meet Garcia's eyes briefly to see that the usually bubbly tech was crying, her hand over her mouth trying to not make any noise, she offered her friend a small smile, though it probably looked more like a grimace before she turned her attention back to her trembling girlfriend in her arms.

Emily kissed JJ's head before cooing in her hear gently trying to soothe her as she continued to rock her carefully side to side one hand wrapped around the blondes waist holding her in place on her lap, while the other was rubbing small circles on her back.

They stayed in this position with the only noises coming from JJ's cries and Emily's recurrences for some time until slowly JJ's breathing began to calm and her body began to tremble less.

Emily started to pull herself back a little bit from JJ's tight grip only to stop her movements when she heard JJ whimper into her neck and clutch her tighter.

" _It's okay, I'm not going anywhere I promise."_ Emily promised her.

" _I just wanted to see those pretty eyes of yours, can you look at me so I can see them again."_ Emily continued trying to coax her girlfriend into pulling back a small amount so they could see each other and talk.

Emily waited patiently both of her hands coming to rest on JJ's lower back and waist as JJ slowly pulled away from her hiding place in Emily's neck and nervously looked up into her eyes.

" _Hey beautiful."_ Emily said smiling as she looked into JJ's eyes, carefully and slowly so to not frighten JJ she lifted her one hand off of the small of JJ's back and wiped the excess tears away from her cheeks with her thumb before tenderly cupping her girlfriends face and leaning forward slightly to place a kiss on her forehead.

" _Can you tell me what happened?"_ She probed gently.

Emily had an idea already from when Garcia had called her panicked telling her that one minute JJ was fine then the next she just froze after being asked if she wanted to get back into the bed, but Emily wanted to hear from JJ.

It was important that JJ vocalised her fears herself so they could help her understand them better.

JJ turned slightly in Emily's arms to look behind her towards the bed, the sight of it causing her to shiver and whimper involuntary again.

" _Hey, hey, hey, you're okay, look at me Jay, stay with me."_ Emily said gently tugging JJ to turn back towards her making sure to level her gaze with the blondes to help keep her in the present in her mind and stop another panic attack.

" _You're okay, you're safe now."_ Emily continued, her hands back around JJ's waist and lower back, thumbs rubbing little circles while she continued to keep her gaze level with JJ's in the hope her girlfriend would find the reassurance she needed.

" _It's the same."_ JJ stated after a few minutes of silence when her breathing had calmed down again, she was still looking into Emily's eyes.

" _What's the same baby?"_ Emily asked confused, she could see out of the corner of her eye that Garcia was quietly walking out of the room, trying to give them some privacy to talk, they both knew JJ was more likely to talk with just Emily being in the room.

Emily had an idea what JJ was talking about, but she hoped that she was wrong.

She hoped that JJ's memory would have spared her some of the details of the horrors that she went through in the caves on Tybee Island.

She knew realistically though the chance of that was slim, even more so with someone like JJ, who was trained to retain and remember everything around her.

JJ's panic attack and reaction now only confirmed in Emily's mind what she already knew but didn't want to admit.

JJ had been fully aware of what was happening around her in the caves and she had seen that the bed they found covered in her blood was a bed that had been stolen from Savannah hospital.

" _The bed. It looks like the one I was on down there…it…it has the same label…it's the same."_ JJ said quietly as her hand began playing with the hospital wrist band she had on her one arm nervously.

" _I know it may look the same, but I can assure you it isn't, that bed is nowhere near here."_ Emily said watching as JJ looked down to stare at the hospital band around her wrist playing with it deep in thought.

" _It was from here though wasn't it? It had the same label."_ JJ stated not looking up, she was unsure of herself.

" _Yes we think it was. We think they stole it from the hospitals A and E ward, the numbers match from a bed that was stolen eight years ago."_ Emily said truthfully, revealing to JJ some of the information the team had found out.

Emily watched JJ's face closely as she nodded still not looking up yet, she watched for any sign of panic from JJ that what she thought was right and also for any sign of anger with Emily for not telling her.

They were both silent for some time, Emily watching JJ trying to read her emotions as JJ sat silently in Emily's lap taking in the comfort from feeling Emily's arms around her while she sorted out the thoughts running around in her mind.

" _Do you think?…would it?…can we?…"_ JJ begun but trailed off, she didn't know how to word her question.

She was worried what Emily would think, she was worried Emily would say no.

She was worried Emily would think she was disgusting, filthy, just like they said.

Emily could see the uncertainty on JJ's face.

She could feel the nerves pulsating off of her girlfriend in waves.

She could feel her back becoming slightly tense under her hands again.

" _It's okay, you can ask me anything. You know that right?"_ Emily said, pulling JJ a little closer to herself with one hand on her back, while using the other hand to gently lift JJ's head up by cupping her face and pulling her chin up.

" _I…I want...can we?…can you kiss me? Properly."_ JJ stuttered, before rushing out her question nervously, looking up at Emily before quickly dropping her eyes again after the question had left her mouth.

" _It's just…I want him out of my head…I only want to think of you…but the bed made me remember, and I don't want to remember it…I need you to help take it away, I didn't mean for it to happen I swear…I don't want to think of him, I didn't want it, please I didn't want it you have to believe me, you – "_

" _Shhhh, it's okay, it's okay, I know baby. I know you didn't want it or anything else that they did."_ Emily interrupted quickly, moving both her hands to run up and down JJ's arms in the hopes of soothing her after noticing her girlfriend begin to panic.

Emily waited for JJ to look back up to her before continuing.

" _I want to baby, I really do. I want nothing more than to be able to take all those memories and those people away and out of your mind, but I don't know if it's a good idea right now. You have so many thoughts running through your head and I don't want you to become scared and associate us kissing with being something that frightens you. I don't want you to be scared of me."_ Emily explained her doubts.

The room was silent for a moment as JJ took in what her girlfriend just told her, she had been afraid Emily would say no, and even though JJ knew deep down the reasons she gave were truthful, she couldn't help but think there was something more.

She couldn't help but think Emily now saw her the same way they saw her.

" _You think I'm disgusting too."_ JJ said in defeat her eyes filling with tears as she tried to move herself away from Emily but found she couldn't, Emily held onto her tightly.

Emily was shocked.

She felt like punching herself in the face.

How could she be so stupid?

Of course JJ would think that, she had been told that for years when she was a child, she had just been told that for days by two wackjobs.

They had beaten that thought into her in every literal sense of the word so of course she would think it, and of course she would think that was the reason Emily had said no to her.

" _No. Absolutely not. I have never and will never think that, because it is not true. The things they told you, all of them, your step father and brother, Charles, Sara, the things they called you, the things they said you were are not true. You are not disgusting, nor a devil child. You have done nothing wrong, you didn't bring your family any pain nor your mother. You are beautiful in every sense of the word, inside and out. You bring so much light into people's lives. The things that happened were completely out of your control and were in no way your fault. Ever."_ Emily said her voice hard with conviction causing JJ to look up into her eyes and gulp at the fire she saw there.

Emily seeing the reaction tried to soften her gaze, she didn't want to frighten the blonde but she needed her to believe her, she needed her to believe in herself again.

" _I'm sorry."_ JJ said quietly.

" _No, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I made you think that, but I promise you it's not true, I need you to believe me when I tell you that I do not think that at all. I could never and will never think that. I love you."_ Emily said softly.

" _I love you too."_ JJ replied quietly.

Emily studied her for a moment her one hand gently lifting to cup her face so she could run her thumb over JJ's lips gently as she tried to make her mind up.

She wasn't sure if JJ was ready for intimate touches and kisses, she didn't want to scare her, but she didn't want JJ thinking that she didn't want her in that way either.

If JJ had asked her for this it was obviously something that she wanted, something that maybe JJ thought herself ready for even if Emily didn't.

Emily would have to trust JJ's judgement on this one.

" _Okay."_ Emily said confirming the thoughts in her mind.

" _You still want me to kiss you properly, you want us to kiss right now?"_ Emily asked checking that she understood correctly what it was that JJ wanted.

She watched as the blonde looked from her eyes to her lips and back to her eyes again before hesitantly nodding her head in confirmation.

" _If I do anything you don't like, anything that scares you, anything that you don't want me to do I want you to tell me right away okay? I don't want to do anything to hurt or scare you, not even by accident."_ Emily said still a little uneasy.

" _You won't... I'm safe with you, I know you won't hurt me…I…I trust you."_ JJ said quietly looking right into Emily's eyes causing Emily to smile.

That was all the confirmation Emily needed before she slowly closed the distance between them and brought her lips together with JJ's in a series of slow gentle pecks to begin with. Her one hand moved to JJ's lower back holding her steady in her lap while the other moved to rest gently on the back of her lower neck her fingers rubbing along the fine blonde hairs there.

Emily smiled as she felt JJ relax into the kiss, her muscles loosening, her one hand pulling at the material of Emily's top to pull her closer towards herself, as her other arm looped around Emily waist squeezing her tightly as the kiss become fuller and longer changing from the small quick pecks to a constant lingering kiss.

Emily become shocked almost at JJ's boldness when she felt her girlfriends tongue run along her lips prying for access into her mouth which was quickly granted by Emily making the kiss stronger and more breathless as they both explored each other gently yet intimately at the same time. Emily found herself losing her self-control at holding back the longer the kiss went on, she wanted so badly to let JJ be in control but with every passing second she found herself wanting to kiss her girlfriend with more passion and force, she was finding it very hard not to take control completely but knew it was important for JJ that she didn't.

They only broke apart when the need to oxygen and being able to breathe became an issue.

Slowly pulling from each other's lips, JJ rested her forehead against Emily's shoulder breathing deeply as Emily dropped a soft kiss to the blondes hairline hugging her tightly to her body as she too took deep breathes in and out trying to regulate her own breathing and thumping heart.

" _Are you okay?"_ Emily asked her hand stoking JJ's blonde locks of hair softly as she squeezed her a little tighter to herself.

" _I…I feel…I can't…I don't know…it's hard to explain…it's good though…I feel good, really good, I just don't know how to put it into words."_ JJ said breathlessly.

" _I think you already did baby. You feel good, that's all I need to know, the rest of how you feel you don't have to tell me unless you want to."_ Emily replied as her hand made a slow lazy stroke from JJ's hair down to the bottom of her back and back up again.

" _As long as I didn't hurt you or scare you."_ Emily continued as an afterthought.

" _You didn't."_ JJ assured her quickly.

" _In fact…It may have only been for a moment but you took my fear away…you made me forget him…you made me feel without fear. Thank you."_ JJ continued honestly, lifting her head so that her eyes could meet with Emily's.

Emily smiled in response, she didn't know what to say, what JJ had just told her was what she had hopped she would be able to give her girlfriend but was unsure if she would have been able to do so.

She was happy, so very happy that JJ was able to feel that with her the same way she felt it herself.

Carefully Emily leaned in once more to slowly bring her lips back together with JJ's in another lingering kiss, trying to put as much passion and love into the simple action as she could.

To Emily words were not needed right now to express her or JJ's feelings.

Just a kiss, an action, that spoke a truth to the both of them.

A kiss that told the story of their love to one another.

A kiss that showed their connection to one another.

A kiss that was an action that spoke in volumes where no words are needed.

A kiss that was safety and reassurance.

A Kiss that was filled with love and passion.

A kiss that was one of the many things that Charles and Sara tried to take from Emily and JJ but was something they failed to take, because it is an action of raw emotion, an action which cannot be faked and an action that holds only truth.

A kiss is an action that tells what words cannot.

* * *

AN: Please review! Let me know what you thought of this chapter! There will be a big bomb drop in the next chapter and we will see Strauss again soon, any ideas what the bomb drop may be?


	24. Chapter 24: Past And Present Collide

Hey everyone, how are you all doing? Ready for another chapter?

Thank you everybody for your kind words and support, my foot is healing well, I'm not in too much pain at the moment as it is mainly numb and that cat that tripped me up and gave me the injury to begin with some years ago is being my personal hot water bottle, abit like Emily was to JJ is that last one shot haha.

Thank you again to everybody who is reading and reviewing my story, I thank each and everyone of you and really love the feedback I am getting from you all, please keep reviewing it is great to hear your thoughts and what you like/dislike about my story.

I've been having some problems with Emails from old Fanfiction here, they don't always like to tell me and or show me some reviews at the moment so I'm sorry if I miss anybody off while replying to your reviews.

 **fallenangel1396:** Thank you for your review on chapter 21, I hope you enjoyed the Reid and JJ interaction and that you are still with us on this story, look forward to hearing from you again soon.

 **Wausie:** Thank you for your review on chapter 21, I'm glad you are enjoying the story and I hope you are continuing to do so, would love to hear more of your thoughts on the story.

 **Sinca:** Thank you for your review on chapter 22, I'm glad you enjoyed the flashback scene into JJ's transition to moving in with her Grandma and the extra detail on her past, hope you are still with me for the story, I think you should like this one as it shows a bit more about JJ's Grandma and their relationship together.

 **Nursenxn:** Thank you for your review on chapter 22, all 22 in one go! Woah. There some words in these chapter I know some are up to 6000, fair play on that full length read. I'm glad you enjoyed what you have read so far and I hope you continue to do so. Thank you for your comments on the story and the way in which the subjects are handled. I hope you enjoy the next chapters and I would love to hear from you on your thought more.

 **Elphiemolizbethbau:** Thank you for your reviews on my story, I'm glad you are still enjoying the story and that you enjoyed the kiss scene in the last chapter. Hope you continue to enjoy, let me know what you think of this next chapter.

 **MyCriminaIMind:** Thank you for you reviews on my story. Haha I'm glad you liked that line, and the chapter, I must admit it has was one of my favs I have written so far, even though I was very nervous to write a kiss in such detail. I hope you continue to enjoy what's to come, let me know what you make of this one.

 **102000QP:** Thank you for your reviews, glad you enjoyed, you wont have long to wait for that bomb drop its coming up, in some respects there are more than one is this chapter, let me know what you think.

 **Thalie57:** Thank you for your reviews and PM's, yes sorry about that, but I'm back woo. Glad you liked the last chapter, it was a great start for Emily and JJ to get back to their intimate relationship even if they aren't ready to do the full way, hope you continue to like whats to come, let me know what you think of this chapter.

 **T-Rex Ninja Kid:** Thank you for your reviews, I'm glad you are still enjoying the story, yes Emily is great with JJ, she has been a real lifeline to her. Hope you continue to enjoy, let me know what you think of this next chapter.

 **Letirreis:** Thank you for your review, Im really happy you enjoyed the last chapter so much and that it came across how I was hoping it would. Thank you again, I hope you enjoy what is to come, please let me know what you think of this next chapter.

 **USCutie15:** Thank you for your review, I'm glad you enjoyed the last chapter and hope you continue to do so, please let me know what you think of this one.

 **WARNINGS:** **Mentions of Violence.**

* * *

 **Chapter Twenty-Four: Past and Present Collide.**

 _ **Six years ago.**_

Gentle piano music could be heard playing throughout the house as eighteen-year old Jennifer Jareau unlocked the door and made her way inside, a small travel suitcase behind her.

Jennifer was in her first year of college after being able to graduate from high school a year early and earning herself a place on a communications course through scholarship due to her football skills that she had picked up at school.

She had now come home to visit for the Easter break, she never thought she would see the day where she had a place to call home and was happy to be back there.

Four years ago she would have never thought this possible, but her Grandma had worked very hard establishing a stable relationship with the young teen enabling her to feel safe here and feel loved like she done before her mother had been killed.

Standing still in the hallway Jennifer paused for a moment, she couldn't shake the feeling that something didn't seem right and that unnerved her.

Her Grandma was nowhere to be seen even though she could hear her music playing, usually Susan Jareau came to meet Jennifer at the train station to walk her home when she returned to visit from college.

This time she hadn't been there, Jennifer didn't mind of course she knew her Grandma was a busy lady, but for the house also to be so quiet, bar the music playing, seemed strange.

" _Grandma?"_ Jennifer called out moving towards the kitchen.

Entering the kitchen Jennifer saw Susan Jareau sat at the breakfast table reading a newspaper, seemingly lost in thought.

" _Grandma? Didn't you hear me?"_ Jennifer asked confused, causing Susan to look up from the paper.

" _I know I'm old now dear, but I'm still your Mother not your Grandmother."_ Susan replied placing the paper down.

" _What? I don't…I'm sorry Grandma I don't understand."_ Jennifer replied rubbing the back of her neck nervously as her grandma started to look annoyed with her.

" _Sandy really, stop this nonsense at once."_ Susan said standing to meet Jennifer's height.

" _Sandy?"_ Jennifer repeated her eyes wide in realisation.

Her Grandma thought he was her Mom, they did look a lot like each other from the photographs she had seen of her Mother when she was younger, but this was just plain weird.

" _I'm not Sandy, I'm her daughter. Please tell me you know who I am?"_ Jennifer asked, her face going pale.

This was a joke right?

Surely her Grandma was just pulling her leg.

She would burst out laughing any moment wouldn't she?

Thinking on it though, jokes, like this, were not her Grandma's style.

The more Jennifer thought about it the more frightened she felt herself feeling, this was not like her grandma not one bit.

" _Stop this ridiculous game Sandra honestly, how stupid do you think I am? You don't have any children."_ Susan argued back, her voice raising slightly due to her confusion.

" _I'm telling you the truth, I'm Jennifer, Sandy's daughter. Don't you remember me and Rosaline?. Please tell me you know who I am? You are all I have. Mom died when I was seven, Rosy when I was eleven, it's just me and you now."_ Jennifer told her grandmother her mind racing with worry.

She had noticed during the last few phone calls home that her Grandma seemed a little more confused, as though she could not follow the conversation as easily, but nothing like this.

A sudden sting to her left cheek brought Jennifer out of her thoughts.

It took a while for her mind to catch up with what just happened.

Jennifer slowly raised hand to touch her cheek as she looked at her grandmother in shook tears springing to her eyes.

Her Grandmother had just slapped her.

She was stunned.

She didn't know what to say or do.

Her Grandma had never hit her before, not once.

She had never acted this way before either.

It seemed that the slap had not only stunned Jennifer but also brought her Susan back to reality as her face slowly changed from anger to disbelief then regret and shame in seconds.

" _Jennifer? Oh Jennifer I'm so sorry, I don't know what came over me! Are you okay? Do you need some ice? Please don't cry sweetheart. Come here, I'm so sorry. Are you okay?"_ Susan said quickly pulling her Granddaughter into a tight hug seeing the tears in her eyes.

The sight brought tears to her own eyes, she couldn't believe what had just happened.

" _You thought I was Mom."_ Jennifer said still stunned in her grandmother's arms.

" _You hit me."_ She continued.

" _Why?"_ She finished.

" _Sweetheart I'm so sorry."_ Susan said as Jennifer pulled away from her.

" _I wish I knew why, but I don't know why I did that, I don't know why."_ She continued lifting her hand to gently stroke he Granddaughter's reddening cheek, hating the way Jennifer flinched at first at the contact, her eyes unsure.

" _You have been confused lately."_ Jennifer stated after a few moments, still trying to wrap her head around what had just happened.

" _Yes I have."_ Susan admitted.

" _Has it ever been that bad before?"_ Jennifer asked.

" _No."_ Susan said.

" _I think you…I think you need to maybe go see someone about this."_ Jennifer said, unsure of herself and her Grandma's reaction.

" _I think you're right darling, I do."_ Susan said in agreement, Jennifer could hear fear in her voice, fear at what was happening to her mind and her memories.

" _I can go with you if you'd like."_ Jennifer offered.

Her Grandma had always been there for her when she was scared since taking her in.

She had been there to help Jennifer pull herself back together after everything that happened to her.

Now her Grandma was scared and it was her turn to help her just like her Grandma had helped her all these years.

" _I'd like that a lot."_ Susan said with a smile pulling the eighteen-year old back in for another hug.

 **xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

 _ **Present Day.**_

JJ was happy today, today she was to be released from hospital.

She was going to be on her way home, away from Savannah, away from all that had happened here and nothing could make her happier right now.

She still had a long way to go in her recovery, she knew that.

She was healing but was not healed.

Her hand was working well; the movement was coming along nicely.

She could walk herself now, for short periods of time, without the aid of a wheelchair or Emily's support to lean against.

The scars and bruises were beginning to fade slightly.

She had still yet to be able to bath, but that was something that would happen in time.

She was still nervous around the men on the team, but with Emily's help the fear was lessening.

Her mind was beginning to be able to see things more clearly, she was less afraid of some of things that had terrified her before.

She had been allocated a great therapist who had taken time out of her own free time to fly to Savannah from DC to visit JJ in hospital yesterday, to meet her and conduct an introductory session.

JJ's therapist was a 35-years old, her name was Kate Callahan, who specialised in childhood trauma and abuse cases normally.

Gideon knew her personally as she was an on-call therapist for the FBI.

She was called in when they needed therapists help with children who had been rescued from bad situations.

They had worked closely together on a case a few years back and Gideon had called in a favour asking her to be JJ's therapist thinking she would be perfect for the role.

So far it seemed she was, JJ still had a lot of held back trauma and misplaced guilt from all that happened to her as a child.

The hope was that Kate would be able to help her through that as well as the more recent trauma.

The introductory session had gone well and the two of them had hit up a good starting report.

Kate had let Emily sit in on the session, thinking it would help JJ open up and feel more at ease to talk, and it did.

She had found it plain and clear to see that Emily had been JJ's lifeline these last few weeks.

A lifeline that has only grown stronger since that kiss they shared a few days ago.

That kiss had been the start of them reopening themselves to one another again, small intimate touches were now frequent as were lingering soft kisses.

Every time JJ thought of Emily and what they shared it brought a smile to her face, through all the craziness, the chaos, the fear and pain Emily had been the one constant.

Just like she had promised she would be.

JJ was now beginning to believe Emily when she told her she wouldn't ever leave her; she was feeling confident in their relationship.

Feeling a kiss on the top of her head brought JJ out of her thoughts and caused her to turn her head upwards to look towards her girlfriend, she smiled sheepishly at being caught spacing out again.

Emily smiled back at her crouching down to the side of the chair JJ was sat in with ones of Garcia's laptops on her lap.

" _Good thoughts?"_ Emily asked simply.

" _Yeah. I was thinking how happy I am to be getting out of here."_ JJ replied linking her one hand with Emily's as Emily chuckled lightly at her answer.

" _You and me both Jay, will be good to put this place behind us. How's the letter going?"_ Emily asked indicating to the open laptop.

JJ's writing was still a little shaky from the nerve damage in her hands from some of the burns, it was something that will improve but for the time being it was easier for JJ to write through typing rather than hand writing.

Currently JJ was writing a letter to her Grandma who was back in Pennsylvania in a home that specialises in helping those with dementia.

Writing letters to each other was something they had been doing for the last five and half years, since Susan Jareau had gone into the home.

At first JJ had visited her regularly, but the visits became too painful for them both when Susan had trouble remember her Granddaughter.

JJ looked so much like her Mother that with her Grandma's worsening condition and the timeline her mind was stuck in Susan kept mistaking her for her Daughter Sandra and would become upset and angry with herself when she realised she was wrong.

JJ would become upset at seeing her Grandma that way, it hurt her to watch her Grandma slowly forget her.

Sometimes she had good days, and she knew exactly who JJ was.

Other days she had bad days thinking JJ was Sandra.

There were some days though, the worse days in JJ's eyes, that her Grandma had no idea that they were related, it was as though JJ was a complete stranger to her.

It had become too hard to visit, writing letters had become easier and it gave her Grandma something to keep re-reading to remind herself she had a Granddaughter and to remind herself of the things they had achieved together.

" _Okay. I think I'm finished. I just want to read through it once more though."_ JJ said sounding a little uncertain.

" _Take as long as you need baby, I know this is important to you."_ Emily encouraged.

Emily had only just yesterday learnt about JJ's Grandmothers condition; it had come out during the introductory session with Kate.

JJ had been nervous after the session thinking that Emily was angry with her for not telling her.

Emily had been quick to assure her that she wasn't though and if and when JJ was ready to talk about things like this she would be ready and waiting.

They had talked a little that night, JJ had told her how she came home from college that one day and how her Grandmother had thought she was her Mother.

She had told Emily about the letters they write to each other and why.

Emily had held her as she cried into her chest telling her she missed her Grandma but couldn't bear to see the look in her eyes when she didn't recognise her.

" _Do you want to read it?"_ JJ asked.

" _I wouldn't mind, but I understand if this is personal to you."_ Emily said truthfully.

" _Why, do you talk about me in your letters?"_ Emily asked jokingly.

" _Yeah, I think Grandma picked up on my feelings for you before I did because of how much I write about you."_ JJ replied her cheeks reddening slightly causing Emily to laugh.

" _I think everybody apart from me picked up on your feelings, for a profiler I can be a little slow at times."_ Emily said as an afterthought.

" _I must admit I'm intrigued to see what you say about me."_ Emily said raising an eyebrow jokingly towards JJ who looked at her then back to the computer.

" _You should read it."_ JJ said moving to pass the laptop to Emily, who stopped her by placing her hand on the laptop pushing it back on the blonde's lap.

JJ watched confused as Emily got up from her crouched position on the floor and sat on the arm of the chair next to her leaning back a little on the wall for support and throwing an arm gently around JJ's shoulder.

" _Why don't you read it to me?"_ Emily suggested gently, the hand around JJ's shoulder moving to stroke the blonde's hair softly as JJ moved to lean into her side slightly, the side of her head resting against Emily's stomach.

JJ nodded bringing her legs up on the chair to tuck underneath her body so she was comfortable before settling the laptop on her lap again and snuggling into Emily's side a little more.

" _Dear Grandma,_

 _Sorry that this letter has been a long time coming since the last, these last few weeks have been crazy. I guess you could say my past and present have finally collided with each other._

 _We had a case back on Tybee Island that brought everything back in more ways than one, I won't go into details on the case, you don't need nor want to hear it. Just know that I am and will be okay, the team took great care of me and are still doing so._

 _I know we have spoken so many times in these last two years about me telling the team about my past, and all I can say is you were right and I should have listened to you. They have been nothing but supportive and patient. We were close before but I feel now that they understand me better, even though they don't really know everything yet. I think they know that as well, that there is more that I'm not ready to talk about. They know it and they understand it, just like Emily._

 _Emily, she has been amazing, I don't think I would have made it through these past months without her. She didn't sign up for any of this, for me, and for everything my past holds and my mind tries to block out, but it hasn't fazed her. She's still with me and still wants to be. That still amazes me, sometimes I have to pinch myself to make sure I'm not dreaming._

 _She told me she loves me here on the island._

 _It terrified me when she said it. It still does at times, but it also makes me happy because I feel the same way about her. I know when she says it she means it; I know she doesn't expect anything from me by saying it. You are probably sat thinking about how we have only been together for barely three months and its far too soon for the 'I love you's' and everything that comes with them, but it feels right. Being with her feels right._

 _With everything that has happened it has shown me that our time here with each other is important. It can be fleeting or it can last for years. Either way you need to grab onto it with both hands and not let go._

 _As hard as it is for us both, I would really like to see you again, face to face._

 _I miss you._

 _I know you don't always remember me, but I hope that when you can you still remember the time we shared together. It wasn't long enough and I would love for us to spend more time together, to make more memories together for us both to hold onto._

 _Jennifer."_

Both JJ and Emily were silent for a moment, JJ still looking at the screen while Emily continued stroking her girlfriend's hair watching her from above.

" _Do you think she will want to see me again?"_ JJ asked breaking the silence.

" _From what you have told me about her, I think this letter will make her very happy. I'm sure she wants to see you as much as you do her."_ Emily replied.

" _Is it fair to her though?"_ JJ asked looking up to Emily as she closed the laptop lid down after saving her letter to the computer system.

" _It confuses her and scares her when she doesn't remember me or thinks I'm my Mom, is it fair to her to risk that happening again?"_ She continued.

She knew she wanted to see her Grandma but was unsure if seeing her was the right thing to do.

" _No it's not, but it's also not fair to keep the two of you apart when you miss each other. Maybe it's a risk worth taking if it can bring you both some happiness."_ Emily said leaning down to kiss JJ gently.

" _I would like to go with you if you go to see her, I'd like to meet her. If you are okay with that?"_ Emily said after they broke the kiss.

" _I'd like that; I think she would want to meet you too."_ JJ replied.

" _Wait and see what her reply is, we can go from there."_ Emily said pulling JJ in for a one-armed hug, as she dropped a kiss to her hairline.

A knock at the door pulled the couple apart, both of them turning to look at the hospital door where Hotch, Gideon and Strauss were stood.

" _Mind if we come in?"_ Gideon asked.

JJ nodded her moving a little closer to Emily in the chair as the three senior agents walked into the room, noticing this Emily began to gently stoke her girlfriend's hair again knowing the action helped her feel safer.

" _I hear you are being discharged today Agent Jareau. It will be good to have you back in the office again, when you are ready of course."_ Strauss said kindly, too kindly.

" _Thank you Ma'am."_ JJ replied quietly

" _Ma'am, I just wanted to say, I know you have been having some…troubles with the Bureau, due to what happened. I'm sorry for my part in those troubles."_ JJ said nervously as she picked up Emily's other hand that had been resting in her lap and started playing with a bracelet that was around her wrist.

" _You have nothing to apologise for, you didn't do anything wrong, there has never been a cause for concern with your behaviour as per the Bureau privacy guidelines. The Bureau themselves simply had trouble admitting the problem was with their own policies and not the way the policies were carried out."_ Strauss explained, looking smug towards the end of her explanation.

" _The Bureau had? I take it their investigation is over?"_ Emily asked.

" _Yes, they had no grounds to go on so the investigation on my conduct and the conduct of the teams I manage has been dropped. A review of certain policies is currently in place."_ Strauss said, relief in her voice.

" _Well that's good at least."_ Emily replied.

It was good, but Emily wasn't overly relieved at the news, she was happy yes but something was worrying her.

She had had a conversation with Hotch and Gideon the other day about some news that she found rather disturbing, they had assured her they were doing everything they could to make sure the proposal of the news would not happen, but the three of them being here now and the looks on their faces did not sit well with her.

" _Agent – Jennifer. May I call you Jennifer?"_ Strauss started to ask.

Emily's heart sank, no this did not feel good at all.

Nor would it end well.

JJ nodded her head to Strauss's question leaning into Emily more, she had an uneasy feeling in her stomach with the way the elder agents in the room were watching her, she could feel Emily's posture changing from relaxed to uneasy as well as her girlfriend pulled her a little closer.

" _The team call me JJ."_ She said quietly to Strauss who smiled.

" _What I'm about to tell you is something myself and Agent's Hotchner and Gideon have tried very hard to stop, and are still trying hard to stop. You have my word that if it's possible we will make sure this does not happen, and if it does you will be protected in every way possible."_ Strauss started gently stopping for a moment to watch the way JJ gripped Emily's hand she had been playing with tightly in her own her other arm wrapping around her own stomach almost protectively.

" _We have been instructed by Pennsylvania State Prison that your step father Michael Collins is being considered for early parole due to the prisons need for more space and that fact he has had a clean prison record in his ten-year imprisonment there."_ Strauss continued stopping again upon noticing the youngest agent's breathing becoming rapid and her eyes widening in fear.

" _Jayje, hey, hey, look at me. I need you to try and calm your breathing for me. I know you're scared right now but you have to breathe for me okay. I'm right here, you're safe with me."_ Emily instructed softly, moving off the side of the chair to crouch down in front of JJ, she could see her girlfriend was extremely close to a panic attack and was barely hanging on.

" _Emily, he's going to kill me, he was so mad at the courts when I had to give evidence, he had that look in his eyes, he's going to kill me, I can't… I can't… no…he can't, don't let him-"_

" _Shhhhhhh. Shhhhhh. It's okay beautiful. He's not going to hurt you, I won't let that happen, everything's going to be okay I promise. You're okay, I've got you. Try and take deep breaths in and out for me okay."_ Emily said trying to comfort her girlfriend through words while pulling her in to her arms and changing their positions allowing Emily to sit in the chair with JJ on her lap.

" _Deep breaths baby, come on you can do it. Copy me Jay, can you feel me breathing?"_ Emily said, feeling JJ nod against her as she pulled her in close in the hopes she could feel her breathing against her and copy it herself, she was growing worried with how hard the blonde was finding it to breathe through her panic.

" _That's it, nice deep breaths, in and out. You're doing great Jay, I'm right here with you, I've got you."_ Emily continued as JJ began to copy her breathing, steadily taking air into her lungs and back out again as Emily instructed her holding her tight in her arms her one hand softly running through her hair then down her back before traveling back up again.

" _Jayje?"_ Hotch asked trying to get the blondes attention after noticing that she had gone quiet in Emily's arms and seemed to breathing a lot easier.

He wondered for a moment if the panic and trouble she had had with her breathing had exhausted her and caused her to fall asleep.

" _It's okay, she can hear you."_ Emily said continuing to stroke her girlfriend's hair and back as the blonde hid her face in-between her shoulder and neck clutching her jumper tightly in her hands.

" _Michael being released from prison is still an if at the moment, we are doing everything that we can to make sure that it does not happen. The only thing that is certain is that there will be a parole hearing."_ Hotch explained gently, he could see the sudden near panic attack had been made worse by her not fully understanding that fact at first.

In JJ's mind as soon as she heard Michael's name and the word parole, it was as though it was a done deal.

He was coming, he was getting out, and he was going to get her.

" _But he could be released?"_ JJ asked after lifting her head from Emily's neck and turning to look at the other people in the room.

" _Yes that is a possibility. If, and that is an if, it does happen we will make sure proper restrictions are in place so he won't be able to be anywhere near you."_ Strauss assured her agent.

The room was quiet for a while as JJ tried to process this information, she wanted to cuddle into Emily and ask the others to leave, she didn't want anybody but Emily right now.

She couldn't though, at least not yet, not while there were still things she needed to know.

" _Will I, do I have to, have to be there?"_ JJ asked quietly.

" _You don't have to be at the parole hearing, not if you don't want to be. It would be useful if you were though, it may help."_ Gideon explained.

" _Would I have to give evidence again?"_ JJ asked shuddering.

" _Again, you don't have to, but it may help if you were too, I believe there were some aspects of the original charges that had to be dropped due to there not being enough evidence."_ Hotch said, watching as JJ shuddered at his answer knowing exactly what he was talking about.

" _I…can't…I don't remember much of that…I don't know much..."_ JJ said shivering at the part she did remember, looking at Emily pleadingly.

Emily understood what JJ wanted from the look even if she didn't have a clue what the charges that were dropped were.

JJ wanted the conversation over, she couldn't deal with it right now.

Placing a gentle kiss to her girlfriend's forehead Emily pulled her back in close again and ran her one hand up and down her back her finger tips lightly tracing up and down her spine.

" _It's okay, you don't have to talk about it now."_ Emily whispered into her girlfriend ear before turning her attention back to the others in the room with them.

" _Maybe we should talk about this later, the Doctor still has to do some final tests and checks before Jayje is released and I think she should rest first."_ Emily suggested pointedly.

" _Of course."_ Gideon said sending Emily a small concerned smile.

" _When you are ready to talk more, or if you have any questions."_ Hotch began, trailing off and leaving the sentence open.

" _We'll let you know."_ Emily replied nodding to Hotch, who nodded back before leaving the room with Gideon.

" _As soon as I know the date for the hearing I will let you know and we can go from there."_ Strauss said trying to stay professional.

She was having a hard time staying professional at the moment, she may not have an overly friendly relationship with her agents but she did care deeply for them, and seeing one of her youngest so fearful after having been through so much was pulling on her heartstrings.

" _If you two need anything let me know, I think the Bureau owes me some favours after that ridiculous investigation."_ Strauss said before leaving the room as well, leaving JJ and Emily alone.

" _Damn Jay, I think you just awoke the dragon lady's heart."_ Emily said causing JJ to laugh into her chest before lifting her head to look Emily in the eyes.

Looking at her Emily could see fear, she could see JJ had been crying into her chest, but she could also see hope there.

" _I love you."_ JJ said suddenly.

" _I love you too, you're going to be okay I promise."_ Emily promised, her hand coming up to brush JJ's tears away while staring into her eyes.

" _You're not that same little girl anymore, he can't control you and he can't hurt you no matter what happens."_ Emily continued.

" _I won't let him."_ Emily finished with a promise.

One she intended whole heartedly to keep.

* * *

 **AN:** So….well…who saw that coming? Let me know what you thought! I love Reviews! So do Jemily, please review


	25. Chapter 25: We'll Do This Together

Hello everybody! Here is you're next update, hope you all enjoy! Thank you again to everybody who is reading and has been reviewing this story and the one shot series, I love hearing your thoughts on my stories so please continue to do so.

 **T-Rex Ninja Kid:** Thank you for your review, your right JJ has enough to deal with without Michael coming back into her life, you will have to wait and see for what happens there and if and how the visit to her Grandma goes, let me know what you make of this next chapter.

 **USCutie15:** Thank you for your review, ahah I think I threw a lot of you with that one, maybe Strauss ent all bad afterall eh, hope you enjoy this next chapter, let me know what you think.

 **MyCriminaIMind:** Thank you for your review, haha sorry about that I will try to keep the diabolical plot twists to a minimum from now on. Hope you enjoy this chapter, let me know what you think.

 **Elphiemolizbethbau:** thank you for your review, I really loved Kate in season ten of CM which I have just finished watching now, and I really wanted to bring her character into this story, which I why I added her in here as a therapist for JJ, I can see her suiting that role very well. As for Michael, well we will have to wait and see what the team can do and if he gets out of not, hope you enjoy this next chapter, let me know what you think.

 **Guest who reviewed chapter 24 on oct 18** **th** **:** Thank you for reading and your review, I would love to hear more on your thoughts of the story, hope you enjoy whats to come.

 **MochaGirl14:** Thank you for reading and for your review, ahah I know that was quite the twist there, as for what happens with that twist, you will have to keep reading to find out, hope you like what is to come. Let me know what you think of this next chapter.

 **Letirreis:** Thank you for your review. You made my day with this review, what you said is just what I was hoping for with this chapter, I really wanted people to understand the loss the JJ feels with her Grandma not being able to always remember her even though she is still alive, it's important that people understand that as it explains why JJ had never spoken of her past until it was found out, she has been alone for a long time now and has had to rebuild herself. Erin, in this story at least isn't as bad as what she always seems, I really wanted to show that she cares for her agents even if she doesn't always show it in the best of ways, I hope the came across well. For now Emily and JJ are making their way home, as for where JJ will stay when home, well, you will have to wait and find out haha, hope you continue to enjoy. Let me know what you think of this chapter.

 **102000QP:** Thank you for your review, I hope you like this next chapter, let me know what you think.

 **Thalie57:** Thank you for your review and PM's, I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter, hope you continue to enjoy what comes next, let me know what you think of this next chapter.

 **starie78:** Hi thank you for reading and for your review, I would love to know more on what you think of the story and your likes/dislikes etc, hope you continue to enjoy, let me know what you think of the next chapter.

 **AN:** Righty on with the chapter, this one is a heavy Jemily based one with a little of the team thrown in at the end, there will be more of the team in upcoming chapters don't worry.

 **WARNINGS:** **This chapter contents mentions and talk of rape, violence, torture and child abuse.**

* * *

 **Chapter Twenty-Five: We'll Do This Together.**

" _It's all over now baby, I promise. You're okay."_ Emily cooed gently into JJ's ear as she held her close rocking her from side to side.

This was the same thing she had been saying to her girlfriend for the last ten minutes since Dr. Marsh had left the room after preforming the final tests JJ needed to undergo before she could be discharged from hospital.

JJ had been doing well until the last test.

This test had been similar to a rape kit examination.

The examination wasn't need for evidence as enough evidence was found at the scene of the crime in the caves which was why it had yet to be carried out until today.

It was however needed to be able to check for any permanent damage that may have been caused due to the trauma JJ's body had been through.

JJ had been reluctant to have the test done at first.

It took a lot of convincing on Emily's part for her to even get on the bed and lay down for Dr. Marsh to examine her in that position.

It took even more convincing for her to allow Dr. Marsh to administer the stitches that were needed to repair the mass amount of tares and deep lacerations found during the examination.

JJ had managed to stay as calm as possible through the examination up until that point.

She had kept her eyes locked on Emily who had been leaning over her so that she was the only thing in JJ's eye sight.

They had been talking about the road trip they were going to take home with Morgan, Reid and Garcia.

The team had thought that would be the best way to travel due to both JJ's and Reid's still healing ribs and JJ's fear of being locked in on the jet.

They knew without a doubt her fear of being locked in places would be worse than what is was before the case on Tybee Island, and they didn't want to throw her in the deep end and cause an unneeded panic attack if there was another way to get around having to fly home.

JJ had held Emily's hand the entire time throughout the examination, her grip tightening with every movement she felt inside of her.

Emily's free hand had been wiping the tears away that JJ couldn't stop from falling and brushing her hair back out of her face while they spoke.

These were little gestures that JJ took comfort in, it helped her remember that Emily was here with her.

It helped her stay anchored and remember that she wasn't in the caves and that Dr. Marsh was not going to hurt her in that way.

JJ had been aware of what was going on the whole time.

She had nodded her consent when Dr. Marsh had told her that she would need stitches.

It wasn't until she felt the needle of a numbing agent injection being administered that her mind started to drift and images of what had happened in the caves had begun to fill up in her head.

She had been unable to concentrate on Emily and what she was saying after that, her mind was desperately trying to stop the images from taking over her thoughts.

Her breathing bad become rapid and her hand had tightened around Emily's so hard Emily was sure she had heard her bones crunching together.

What had worried and upset Emily the most though was the words that JJ had begun to mumble to herself.

She had been pleading for an invisible attacker to stop, she had said 'please no, anything but this' repeatedly, which had broken Emily's heart as she knew at that moment in time there was nothing she could do to help her girlfriend.

Emily had alerted Dr. Marsh to the fact that JJ was disassociating and to her credit Dr. Marsh had finished up as quickly as she could without further hurting JJ in the process.

As soon as Dr. Marsh had finished Emily had used the hand that JJ was holding tightly to pull JJ up into a sitting position and wrap her free arm around her girlfriend pulling her in close until she managed to find her way back from the horrors her mind was reliving.

JJ had been unresponsive to being in Emily's arms at first.

It was as though her body had completely shut down.

The only movements and sounds that came from JJ were the whimpered and mumbled pleadings and her bodies trembling and rapid breathing.

This had worried both Emily and Dr. Marsh at first until slowly JJ's arms wrapped around Emily as she repositioned herself so that she was hiding her face into the crook of Emily's neck the whimpering and mumbling coming to a stop shortly after.

It was only when the sobs started that they knew that JJ was back, that her mind had returned from where it had got stuck.

Even though the sobs were horrible to witness and hear, they were better than a frozen and unresponsive JJ.

It was then, after knowing her patient had now managed to bring herself back from her disassociated state, that Dr. Marsh had found a blanket to pass to Emily to wrap around JJ, before quietly excusing herself from the room to sort out the discharge papers and medication that they would need to take with them when leaving the hospital.

That had been ten minutes ago.

Emily was glad that Dr. Marsh was sensitive enough to JJ's needs to give them some space for JJ's mind to be able to fully return and for her to calm down again before returning to the room, as she very much doubted JJ was in a fit state to be signing any discharge forms at this very moment in time, she could still feel her trembling against her.

" _You're okay, I've got you. It's all over now Jay. You did so good baby."_ Emily repeated still rocking her girlfriend in her arms as she stood next to the bed JJ had been laying on before during her examination.

She could still feel tears hitting her neck where JJ was sobbing while holding her tightly, she could feel JJ's breath hitching every now and again as she tried to breath in between her sobbing.

" _You're okay, you're safe now. It's all over now, no more tests now baby we can go home now."_ Emily said gently, her hand rubbing little circles on JJ's back while the other stroked her hair softly still swaying them both from side to side knowing that the rocking action and stroking JJ's hair always helped to calm her girlfriend down.

She could feel JJ take a few shuddering deep breaths as her sobs slowly came to a stop and she lifted her head to look Emily in the eyes.

Time seemed to stand still for them both as they starred into each other's eyes no words being needed right now.

Emily's hand that had been stroking JJ's hair moved to cup her cheek and brush away her tears with her thumb as JJ looked down staring at her lap using her one hand to pull the blanket around herself a bit tighter.

" _I'm sorry."_ JJ whispered out hoarsely.

" _Hey."_ Emily said pulling JJ's face upwards with her hand so their eyes could meet again.

" _You have nothing to be sorry for."_ She continued.

" _But it upsets you when I get stuck in my head like that."_ JJ said quietly, almost shamefully.

" _It does, but that isn't your fault. None of this is your fault beautiful."_ Emily said honestly.

" _Do you really think I'm beautiful?"_ JJ asked suddenly.

" _I think you are gorgeous. I thought so the first moment I locked eyes on you after you tried to drown me in your coffee."_ Emily said, causing them both to smile at the memory of when they first met.

" _What about now?"_ JJ asked after a few moments of silence, her eyes not meeting Emily's.

" _You're still gorgeous and beautiful baby, you always have been and always will be to me."_ Emily said not liking the insecurity she could feel coming off JJ in waves.

" _Even with all these?"_ JJ asked motioning to the scars on her body underneath the blanket.

" _Even more so with those. The bruising and the scars will fade in time. They don't define you, they don't take anything away from who you are. They are just there as a reminder of everything you have been through, everything you have survived through."_ Emily said causing JJ to look at her again unbelieving.

" _I look hideous. I am hideous. Sometimes it feels like they tore me inside out."_ JJ said a faraway look in her eyes.

" _I told you once that you are stronger than you realise. I meant it then and I still mean it now. They may have tried to, but they will never be able to do that to you, no one will. You Jennifer Jareau, are a princess, you're a warrior, you're a fighter. You are beautiful, inside and out. What they did to you is hideous. You, are not. Don't ever think that, not for a second. Okay?"_ Emily said with force.

Looking into Emily's eyes JJ could see that she meant every single word she had just said, she wanted so hard to believe her but she couldn't.

She still had their voices in her mind telling that she was worthless.

A devil child.

Filthy.

Disgusting.

A Liar.

A whore.

Nothing.

" _You are beautiful."_ Emily said breaking through the voices in JJ's mind.

" _Inside and out. Scars and all. Those scars tell your story baby, they don't make you hideous, nothing could, because you are not. I know you don't believe me right now and that's okay. Really, it is. I promise in time you will though, I will keep telling you and showing you for as long as it takes for you to believe me and believe in yourself again."_ Emily said caressing JJ's face with her hand before pulling her back in towards herself again.

They were both quiet for a while as JJ relaxed into Emily's arms and Emily held her girlfriend close to her chest, both of them taking comfort in feeling each other close.

" _Em?"_ JJ asked into Emily's neck, after a silence.

" _Yeah baby."_ Emily replied, running her hand down JJ's back, as she angled her head to the side to be able to hear what her girlfriend was saying easier.

" _What do you think I should do?"_ JJ asked, laying her head down on Emily's shoulder while still in the comfort of her girlfriends arms.

" _Do you mean about the parole hearing?"_ Emily asked inching a little bit closer to JJ after feeling her shudder.

JJ nodded in response, tightening her arms around Emily's waist.

She needed to feel her girlfriend right now.

She needed her to anchor her to the here and now so that she didn't disassociate again due to all the thoughts going through her mind.

Since she had been told of the parole hearing JJ's head had been working on overdrive with memories of her time with Michael constantly playing in her head.

Memories of the punishments and lessons he taught her with bits of unused wood in his workshop, belts, fists and in the later years of her time with him implements he brought specially to punish her with.

Memories of nights and days being locked away in his workshop, then the beatings she received afterwards due to being in the workshop again in the first place.

Memories of her Moms and Sisters deaths and funerals.

Memories of all the threats of pain made to her stopping her from speaking out.

Memories of one of the worst punishments she received from Michael and Donnie when she was twelve and tried to ask a teacher at school for help.

Memories of when and how she received the scars on her back that for years she had been too embarrassed and self-conscious about to show anybody, not that they could be seen that well anymore through all the other scars and welts that now covered her back.

Memories of the times Michael and Donnie had their friends around for poker nights that she wished she could forget.

Memories of the court case when she was fourteen and the looks she had received when testifying.

It was those looks that still terrified her to this day.

She knew if he ever got out he would kill her.

Those looks had all but promised that fact.

No words were needed, she understood what he meant just with that one look.

" _What I think you should do, and what others think you should do doesn't matter Jay. You need to do what feels right for you. Whatever you decide I will be there with you through it all. You're not alone anymore."_ Emily answered her pulling JJ out of her thoughts before her mind could cause her to panic again.

" _I don't know what to do though. The thought of him being out frightens me, but I don't think I can stand up and give evidence again, just the thought of seeing him there – it, I don't think I can, but I know that look Gideon gave me. If I don't, give evidence…the evidence I couldn't give when I was younger… he's going to get out, isn't he?"_ JJ said her body shuddering again involuntary at the thought, while her one hand came up from Emily's waist to hold the material of her shirt near her chest tightly in her hand.

" _The team – we – will do everything we can to make sure that does not happen, but you are right. The chance is higher that he will get out without you giving any new evidence that there may be."_ Emily said resting her chin on top of JJ's head, as she placed her one hand on top of JJ's that was holding her shirt tightly, the other hand pulling her in closer by the small of her back.

" _I'm scared Em, I'm so scared he's going to get out and he's going to come after me."_ JJ admitted shuddering again.

" _I know you are baby, but I promise you everything will be okay. I'm not going to let him or anybody else hurt you like that again. You are safe with me. Always."_ Emily said as she ran her one hand up and down JJ's back before pulling away from her girlfriend taking one of her shoulders in each of her hands so she could look deep into her eyes.

" _We, will get through this, together. Whatever you decide to do, I'll be there. We will do this together, you and me."_ Emily promised.

" _But, how about for now, we concentrate on getting you out of this hospital and back home. How does that sound?"_ Emily asked with a smile.

" _That, sounds amazing."_ JJ said returning Emily's smile after releasing a long breath from her lungs.

" _Come on then, let's get you changed."_ Emily said letting go of JJ's shoulders and walking over to a small table in the room where her clothes were.

Picking up JJ's clothes Emily walked back over to her girlfriend and came to a stop in front of her placing the clothes down the bed next to where JJ was sitting.

" _May I?"_ Emily asked looking JJ in the eyes as her hands came to rest of the sides of the blanket covering her up.

Emily waited until JJ nodded her approval before gently pulling the blanket away from her body and carefully helping the blonde get changed back into her clothes again.

The process was slow and delicate as JJ's body was still healing and in pain.

Emily purposely kept her eyes fixed on JJ's the entire time.

Partly to make sure that JJ was still with her and wasn't getting lost in her own mind again, and partly because she knew JJ was still nervous about Emily seeing her body, especially now with all her scars.

" _Thank you."_ JJ said quietly after they were done.

In response Emily smiled before placing a gentle but firm kiss on JJ's lips.

" _How about we find Dr. Marsh and get out of here."_ Emily suggested as she helped JJ down off the bed and begun to lead her to the door, her one hand en-twinning with JJ's on the way.

 **Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

Just under an hour later Emily and JJ were sat outside the hospital at a picnic bench waiting for Garcia, Reid and Morgan to arrive, they were currently at the hotel packing up and getting ready for the road trip the five of them were about to take to get back to Quantico.

Reid had been discharged the day before and had spent last night in the hotel with Morgan, Hotch and Gideon.

Hotch, Gideon and Strauss had already left for Quantico this morning taking the jet back with them.

Strauss had tried hard to get Hotch and Gideon the same time off as the rest of their team, but had been unable to do so due to reports needing to be handed in and other tasks needing to be completed at the office.

Hotch and Gideon had also decided it would be more beneficial for them to work back in the office on the case of Michael Collins's parole hearing.

They were going to see if more evidence against him could be found for in case JJ did not want to, or was unable to give further evidence.

They had plans to interview him as BAU research, using a profiler that was not currently a member of their team.

" _Not long now Jay, Garcia just text me. They're almost here."_ Emily said as she turned to JJ, placing an arm around her back as she felt JJ lean in closer to her on the bench.

The amount of people coming and going from the hospital was making JJ a little bit nervous and Emily could tell, she wanted JJ to be as calm as possible during their trip home, she wanted her to be happy.

JJ smiled in response turning to reply just before beeping horn drew her attention causing her to look to the hospital car park.

" _Isn't that Morgan?"_ JJ asked confused.

It looked like Morgan, the guy was waving and smiling at them like Morgan usually did.

She was almost certain she could see Garcia's head pop up next to his for a moment as well before it disappeared again.

" _Come on."_ Emily said taking JJ's hand and gently tugging her up from the bench before they began to walk hand in hand over to the car park.

The closer they got to the car park the more JJ became convinced that it was Morgan she could see in the driver's seat.

What confused her though is that the vehicle he was in wasn't their usual type of vehicle.

Instead of sitting in the front of a black SUV Morgan was sat in the front of a blue and white split screen VW Campervan.

" _Hey Gumdrop, welcome to our very own BAU Mystery Machine."_ Garcia said after the side door to the Campervan opened revealing herself and Reid sat in the back, playing cards at a small table.

Seeing the Campervan and the smiles on her team members faces brought a smile to JJ's own face, a smile that turned into a laugh, she really should have seen this one coming.

Yesterday Garcia and Emily had been quizzing her on her dream road trip and she had let slip that she had always wanted to take a road trip in a proper Scooby-doo like Campervan, of course her team would make that happen.

" _You guys rock, just so you know."_ JJ said through her laughter before climbing into the Campervan with Emily's help, who then climbed in after her.

" _Well from what I hear it was your idea."_ Reid replied as JJ took a seat next to him.

" _Yeah, but you guys made it happen."_ JJ said thankfully.

" _Everybody in?"_ Morgan asked from the front as Emily closed the side door to the Campervan.

She pulled open the window on the Campervan sliding door for JJ's benefit before taking a seat herself, knowing her girlfriend preferred some open windows in any vehicle she was in.

A chorus of 'yes' was the respond to Morgan's question causing him to restart the engine and turn around to face his team members, his arm on the back of the seat he was sat on.

" _Buckle up kids, let's get this road trip started."_ He continued grinning.

" _Sure thing, old man."_ Emily joked back, emphasising the 'old man' as she put her feet up on the seat opposite her next to where Garcia was sitting and leaned back getting comfortable in her seat next to JJ.

" _Oi! I heard that!"_ Morgan said from the front of the Campervan as he put the gear-stick into drive and pulled out of the hospital parking lot.

JJ laughed again before leaning into Emily's side, her head resting against her girlfriend's shoulder.

She sighed in content as she felt Emily kiss the top of her head, her arm snaking around her back while Garcia gathered up the cards they had been playing with getting ready to deal them out again for the four of them to play while Morgan began their road trip back home.

Things were far from perfect, the future was still uncertain, but for now JJ felt relaxed.

She was looking forward to this road trip with her best friends and girlfriend.

Right now, in this moment in time, with Emily's arm holding her close, she felt safe.

* * *

 **AN:** Don't forget to let me know what you think by hitting that little review button and telling me what you all thought.


	26. Chapter 26: A Change In Direction

Hello all, rightly so who is ready for an update!

Firstly, thank you again to everybody who is reading and reviewing, keep those reviews coming my friends, I enjoy hearing your thoughts on my stories.

 **tippytypewritter137:** Thank you for your reviews on chapters 2 and 9, hope you are still enjoying the story, let me know what you think of these later chapters and how you are finding everything.

 **Elphiemolizbethbau:** Thank you for you review! Glad you are still with me for this story, hope you enjoy what's to come, let me know what you think of this chapter.

 **guiltypleasure95:** Thank you for your review, I want this story to be real in its emotions and the things JJ had been though are not things that you can quickly recover from if ever, each step is progress in a small way that is what I'm trying to show with these chapters. Hope you enjoy whats to come, you didn't have to wait too long for the update this time did you? Hehe

 **starie78:** Thank you for your review, and your comments on the story, I think with topics like this the emotion comes from the small details and I'm glad that is coming across. Yes I was glad to close the book on the hospital chapters too, getting out of hospital is an important step not just for JJ but for all around her, hope you enjoy this next update, let me know what you think.

 **Kensi1997:** Ahhhh! Your back! I have missed you these last few chapters my friend, glad you are still with me and enjoying the story. Drop me an email sometime in regards to our betaing, I haven't forgotten you don't worry. Hope you enjoy this next chapter, let me know what you think of this next update.

 **USCutie15:** Thank you for your review, I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter, I have a feeling even though this is a hard chapter you will be happy (to some extent) to see this, due to your earlier hopes for JJ to open up more about her past. Let me know what you think.

 **Thalie57:** Thank you for your review and PM's, I'm really glad you enjoyed the chapter and the story so far, I hope you continue to do so, please let me know what you think of this next update.

 **Letirreis:** Thank you for your review. That is exactly what I was trying to show with this chapter, that even though a person may know that someone is not trying to hurt them, the things that happened to them in the first place for that thought to be in the head are sometimes so powerful it overwhelms and short circuits your body. I'm really glad you saw that in this chapter, ahah the road trip will be some much needed fun for the team members as well as a chance for JJ to fully come to terms with a few things in the long run, hope you enjoy this chapter, let me know what you think.

 **102000QP:** Thanks for your review, please let me know what you think of this next one.

 **AN:** Right, on with the chapter. This one has some moments that are rather sensitive, please take notice of the warnings below, the subject matter is rather powerful and I hope my writing does it justice and does not offend anybody in anyway.

 **WARNINGS:** **Violence, mentions of torture, talk of and descriptive scenes of physical child abuse.**

* * *

 **Chapter Twenty-Six: A Change In Direction.**

" _Oh come on! No, no, no, no! Gumdrop don't you dare!"_ Garcia exclaimed loudly, twisting her whole body around with the controller in her hand.

After spending many hours on the road on day one of their road trip, Morgan, Reid, Garcia, Emily and JJ had reached the stop for their first night and had set up camp in a hotel suit family room that Garcia had booked, no expense spared as per Emily's request who was footing the bill for this trip.

The family room had four bedrooms, two with en-suit shower rooms and toilets, as well as an extra bathroom and separate toilet. It also had a communal living area with a lounge area and small kitchen area.

Currently Garcia, Morgan and JJ were playing Mario Karts on a Nintendo Wii that Garcia had brought, when they had stopped at a local supermarket to pick up some groceries, after seeing JJ and Morgan talk animatedly about playing old Nintendo Mario Kart games when they were young children.

Garcia though hadn't expected JJ to be as good as she was.

She had won almost every race so far, the only one she hadn't won Morgan had won, and Garcia being as competitive as she was had been getting increasingly upset with every race that she lost.

" _I was finally winning, Jayje how could you?"_ Garcia said in defeat.

" _I thought you were Morgan."_ JJ said sheepishly, as Morgan chuckled at the interaction.

" _What's going on, are you guys ganging up on Pen again?"_ Emily asked from the kitchen area where she and Reid were making dinner, they had decided to eat in just the five of them tonight, they didn't want to overwhelm Reid and JJ by going out to for dinner just yet.

"She blew me up on the finish line and stole first place!" Garcia exclaimed pointing to JJ as Emily walked up to them and stood behind JJ who was sat on the couch next to Garcia.

" _That's my girl."_ Emily said proudly wrapping her arms around JJ's shoulders gently, her chin resting on the blondes head.

" _Oi! You, are meant to be on my side."_ Garcia said pouting.

JJ and Emily turned to Garcia, both of them raising an eyebrow at her while Morgan laughed wrapping his arm around Garcia's shoulders.

" _When it comes to JJ I think it's safe to assume Emily will always be on her side."_ Reid said as he came around from the kitchen area and took a seat on the second couch to the other side of Morgan.

" _That's usually the way it works when people are dating anyway."_ He continued with an amused smile as Garcia folded her arms sulking.

" _Fine."_ Garcia sulked, shrugging Morgan's arm off of her shoulder as she stood from the couch.

" _You're lucky I love you so much Gumdrop."_ Garcia said patting JJ's cheek as she passed, her own way of telling the blonde she was only playing and wasn't really upset with her.

" _How long till dinner?"_ Garcia asked as she walked into the kitchen area inspecting the oven where the pasta bake Emily and Reid had made was cooking.

" _Probably forty minutes or so."_ Emily replied taking a seat on the couch in Garcia's vacated spot and wrapping an arm around JJ who leaned into her side placing her head on her girlfriend shoulder as soon as she had sat down.

" _That gives us time for another – Hey! That's my seat!"_ Garcia exclaimed after turning back around and finding Emily sat looking comfortable in her vacated space on the couch.

JJ picked her head up from Emily's shoulder and looked behind them to see Garcia stood with her hands on her hips, she smiled at Garcia and tilted her head the side motioning to her space on the couch before carefully climbing into Emily's lap and re-attaching her head to Emily's shoulder as she felt her girlfriends arms wrap around her back holding her in place.

This was the position she had wanted to be sat in anyway, she just felt nervous about doing so with so many of the team with them, but Garcia wanting to sit on the couch had given her the excuse she needed to snuggle up to Emily.

" _Right, who's playing then?"_ Garcia said bouncing down on the sofa and picking up a controller that was on the table in front of them.

JJ winced slightly in discomfort at the movement Garcia's bouncing made.

Her back was hurting a little bit from the time they had spent on the road and she was pretty sure her bra was digging into a lash mark.

She didn't want to ask for a pain killer though, they made her drowsy and she hated that feeling.

Emily feeling JJ tense against her slightly, rubbed her hand up and down her back.

" _Are you hurting baby?"_ She whispered into JJ's ear, receiving a quiet _'no'_ in response.

" _Jayje..."_ Emily said, a slight warning tone in her voice.

" _Maybe a little."_ JJ admitted speaking into Emily's neck as she cuddled into her.

" _I don't need a pain killer though."_ She said quickly.

" _If you are hurting you do."_ Emily whispered to her gently.

She knew that JJ didn't like taking the pain medication, but also knew it was important that her body was not in pain as pain had and could bring on panic attacks.

JJ didn't reply she just shook her head again and cuddled into Emily further as Emily rubbed a hand up and down her back sending Garcia a small smile who was watching them concerned.

Morgan had moved over to the other sofa and was playing Mario Karts against Reid, currently the boy's attention was solely on the game, where Reid was beating Morgan impressively.

" _I'm not going to make you take them if you don't want to Jay, you know that. But will you at least let me put some of that balm on that Dr. Marsh gave us where it hurts? She said you can use it up to three times a day and it should help soothe the pain a little bit."_ Emily whispered, assuring and reasoning with her girlfriend at the same time.

" _Okay."_ JJ said after a moments thought, lifting her head to look Emily in the eyes.

Looking into Emily's eyes she saw worry there, worry that made her feel bad.

She didn't mean to worry her girlfriend, but she couldn't help the way her emotions constantly shifted at the moment no matter how hard she tried.

One minute she would feel almost back to normal, the next minute she was hurting and in pain again which frightened her, she didn't know how to stop it.

" _Okay, let's go."_ Emily said softly, placing a short peck kiss onto JJ's lips before gently pushing the blonde off of her lap and into a standing position following suit in standing herself.

" _Call us when dinner is ready?"_ Emily said to Garcia as she took JJ's hand in her own, she waited until Garcia nodded her head before leading the blonde from the communal area to the bedroom they were going to share for the night.

 **Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

Meanwhile back in the BAU main office in Quantico Hotch and Gideon were working overtime in Hotch's office.

They were currently getting caught up on paperwork that had been delayed due to the teams time spent in Savannah.

They wanted to get all the paperwork finished as soon as possible so they could concentrate on the Michael Collins Parole hearing case.

A knock on the door drew both agents attention.

Looking up they could see Erin Strauss stood in the door way, Hotch nodded to Strauss signalling that she should enter.

" _I just got off the phone with Pennsylvania State Prison, they have a date set for the hearing."_ Strauss announced walking into the office, closing the door behind her and taking a seat next to Gideon, the three of them now sat around Hotch's desk.

" _It's set for the 17_ _th_ _of May."_ She continued.

" _May 17_ _th_ _?"_ Hotch asked, checking he had heard right.

Today was May 8th, that only just over a week away.

Strauss nodded in response, she did not look happy.

Gideon released a long sigh while closing the file he was working on.

" _That's next week. Next Friday."_ Hotch said.

" _I know."_ Strauss replied.

" _Someone up there is working in his favour, they haven't given us long to work out what we can do."_ Gideon said, both Hotch and Strauss nodding in response to his statement.

" _You should contact Agent Jareau, she needs to make a decision on what she wants to do and fast."_ Strauss said.

" _I know that, but she's only just got out of hospital. She isn't ready for this, you saw the way she reacted when we told her, how can we expect her to go to this hearing when she has barely healed from what just happened to her? This is wrong."_ Hotch said with his head in his hands.

He was usually good at compartmentalising in situations like this, but this was his team member, his friend, he felt for her and in truth he was worried this would push her over the edge.

She was barely hanging on.

She was a vital member of his team, she was the heart of the team, and whether it was selfish of him or not he did not want to lose her, nor did he want to lose Emily.

" _I know."_ Strauss said.

" _But you need to be honest with her. If she does not go to the hearing and give the evidence she was unable to give ten years ago the likelihood is he will be granted parole and let out. She needs to know the facts so she can decide what she wants to do."_ Strauss continued with a sigh running her hand through her hair.

" _The best possible chance there is of stopping this is for a change in direction as to how we are going about this. We need for new charges to be made against Michael, if evidence is given to prove the allegations made ten years ago are true his chance at parole is gone and his sentence would be extended accordingly."_ Strauss finished.

"Okay." Gideon said nodding, that did make the most sense.

" _How can we help?"_ Hotch said asked.

" _We, do what we can to find evidence that will stick. Evidence that means Agent Jareau doesn't have to talk as much at the hearing. It won't stop her having to give evidence completely, but if we can limit how much she has to see him I think it will make this easier on her."_ Strauss said.

" _We will need to open JJ's file again, we need to see why the accusations were thrown out and what was missing in the first place to make them stick."_ Hotch said, swapping back to his professional manor.

" _Perhaps Morgan and Emily could try a cognitive interview with her, she said she didn't remember when we were there but her reaction spoke a different story."_ Gideon said.

Hotch nodded, he had noticed that to when they had spoken to her.

" _Have you got in contact with Dave about interviewing Collins yet?"_ Hotch addressed to Strauss.

" _Yes, he knows the situation, he's travelling there himself tomorrow to begin the interviews."_ Strauss replied.

" _You should fill him in on the direction we are going, he might be able to get something useful out of Collins himself, he is good at getting under people's skin."_ Gideon said.

" _I've cleared your caseloads for the next two weeks, I had to pull a lot of strings but it is sorted. If Agent Jareau decides to give the evidence for these new charges we will all be going to Pennsylvania."_ Strauss said.

" _The Bureau are letting you come as well."_ Gideon asked surprised.

" _I didn't leave an option for them to decline. This parole hearing was passed through the system far too quickly for my own and the Bureau's liking, something is going on here and they want me to help get to the bottom of it. I, want to make sure this is done properly."_ Strauss said honestly.

" _Right, I'll give Morgan a call, let him know what is going on."_ Gideon said standing up to leave the office, making the decision that he should call knowing that Hotch would be dreading having to have the conversation himself.

 **Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

" _Ah! There it is."_ Emily said pulling the pot of balm Dr. Marsh had given them out of a prescription bag and turning to face JJ who was stood next to her in the bedroom.

Upon entering the room they had left the door open slightly and Emily had begun searching through their bags for the balm they had spoken about.

The balm was prescribed by Dr. Marsh as another pain relief treatment for JJ, the balm held healing properties in its ingredients as well as a skin absorbent pain relief.

Dr. Marsh had told Emily that it would also help with the regrowth of JJ's skin in areas where the skin had been repeatedly burnt and broken apart by lacerations from the whips used on her.

The balm had to be massaged into the skin which would help to stimulate the nerves underneath and also help to relieve pain.

So far JJ preferred the balm to the pain killer tablets as it helped soothe her pain without making her feel tired and drowsy.

The only drawback was that her skin had to be touched for the balm to be administered and she was still nervous, even with Emily, when her back and other areas were touched and seen without clothes on.

" _Okay, I'll just go wash my hands first, why don't you go lay on the bed?"_ Emily suggested.

" _I – can we, can you do it in the bathroom?"_ JJ asked looking to the bed while wringing her hands nervously, not meeting Emily's eyes.

" _Of course, if that's what you want."_ Emily agreed and watched as JJ nodded in response.

" _Come on."_ She continued holding her hand out for the blonde to take.

JJ looked up and met Emily's eyes for a moment before taking the offered hand and allowing herself to be pulled along gently towards the bathroom.

They entered closing the door ajar again like in the bedroom before JJ took a seat on the closed toilet seat and Emily placed the pot of balm down on the sink and began to wash her hands.

" _Okay, I'll only put it on where you are hurting for now, but you need to tell me where that is."_ Emily said as she finished washing her hands, dried them on a towel to the side of the sink and knelt down in front of JJ.

" _My lower back hurts."_ JJ said quietly.

" _Anywhere else?"_ Emily asked.

" _No, just my back."_ JJ said.

" _Okay."_ Emily said standing again and coming to the other side of JJ so she was now facing her back, gently she lifted JJ's T-shirt up to rest on top of her shoulders so that her back was bare apart from her bra.

Emily had to forcefully stop herself from gasping every time she saw her girlfriends back bare like this.

There were still many deep red angry looking lash marks all over her skin, the worst of which were bunched together on her lower back.

" _Is it okay if I undo your bra while we put the balm on?"_ Emily asked crouching down again this time behind JJ, in front of her back.

JJ nodded in response her hands automatically coming around to undo the bra causing Emily to catch her hands and gently push them back.

" _It's okay, I'll do it."_ Emily told her as she unclasped the bra and pulled the straps to the side of JJ's back allowing her to see more lash marks under where JJ's bra had been covering.

" _We're getting you a new bra tomorrow, I think this one had been rubbing some of these."_ Emily said stroking her hand gently along where JJ's bra had been covering a lash mark that looked very red and sore compared to some of the others.

Emily noticed JJ shiver a bit at her touch before sitting up straight and tense.

" _Did I hurt you?"_ Emily asked concerned removing her hand quickly.

" _N-no, I just, I forgot it was you. For a moment."_ JJ said stuttering slightly.

" _I'm sorry baby, I didn't mean to scare you."_ Emily replied snaking an arm around JJ's side and taking her one hand into her own entwining their fingers together.

" _If that happens again squeeze my hand and I'll stop okay?"_ Emily asked, watching as JJ nodded bringing her other hand around to hold Emily's arm in place at her side.

Emily changed her position from crouching on the floor to kneeling so she could keep her balance better before reaching up with her spare hand to grab the pot of balm and place it on the floor in front of her.

Emily pressed the pot between her knees to hold it still as she used her one free hand to pop open the lid and scoop some balm into her hand.

" _Are you okay if I start now?"_ Emily asked pausing her hand from touching JJ's skin until she had consent to do so.

" _You'll stop if I need you to, right?"_ JJ asked tightening her hold on Emily's hand and arm with her hands.

" _Just squeeze my hand if you need me to stop and I'll do so right away, I promise."_ Emily assured her girlfriend who nodded saying a very quiet _'okay'_.

Slowly and carefully Emily began to smear the balm on JJ's skin, firstly at the top of her back, before scooping some more out of the pot and smearing some on the middle and small of her back making sure she had enough balm on her girlfriends skin.

She then began to gently rub her hand in little circles along the top of JJ's back near her shoulder blades and slowly made her way down.

" _It's okay, you're okay."_ Emily said feeling the blonde flinch a little when her hand came into contact with the area of skin that had the most lashes on at the small of her back.

" _Are you okay to keep going?"_ Emily asked feeling the blonde flinch again as her hand ran over another large lash mark that had some white coloured scaring underneath.

" _Yeah."_ JJ said after a moment.

" _It's just, you're hand went over some old scars."_ JJ explained quietly.

" _The white ones, where your thumb is now."_ She continued with a shiver as Emily rubbed her thumb over the raised white skin hidden partially by a lash mark.

" _I'm not used to letting anyway touch them, or look at them."_ JJ explained, her body slowly relaxing into Emily's gently touches.

"The white marks, are they the ones you told me about the night Morgan got us wasted at the Christmas party one year?" Emily asked remembering JJ's self-consciousness that night.

" _Yeah, they are."_ JJ admitted, leaning back into Emily as she felt Emily's hand run up and down her back in long strokes, the feeling of Emily's hand combined with the balm soothing her.

" _You didn't get them by accident like you told me a few months back did you?"_ Emily asked, remembering when she had felt the marks for the first time on accident.

JJ shook her head in response, taking in a deep breath.

" _There was one night, when I was twelve that Donnie got really mad at me. He had just started dating Sara and he wanted me to cook them dinner… We all know I can't cook… He knew that too. I burnt the food so he – he used a hot fire poker on me to burn me too."_ JJ said quietly, nervously re-telling the story from her childhood.

Emily clenched her jaw in anger while listening to the story, she hated hearing what had happened to JJ as a child, but at the same time felt so privileged that JJ trusted her enough to tell her.

She stayed quiet, continuing the long strokes up and down on JJ's back.

She had a feeling that JJ hadn't finished her story yet.

" _He did it more than once that night, he laughed every time I screamed when it touched me… He only did it that night though…I'm sure he would have done it more if he could have but one of the burns got infected, and the school had to send me to hospital because of it… Michael didn't like that. He made up some story and pretended to be a loving and doting father in front of the doctors and nurses… I knew it was only for show, but in that moment when he did that, it reminded me of when Ros was still alive… It was the first time he had ever treated me the same way he treated her… When we got home he was furious at me. I thought he was going to kill me that day, he, he drove us out into the middle of the woods to this small cabin… We stayed there for a week, I think, a lot of it I don't remember, he beat me really bad there… He didn't touch my back, but he beat me anywhere else he could get to… It was the worst he had ever beat me. I remember hearing the trees around the cabin blowing in the wind, I remember listening to the noises in the woods while he beat me till I passed out… I would wake up on the floor and he would be staring at me, then the process would start again…but it was the look in his eyes when I woke up, I still see that look in my nightmares, it's the same look he had when I testified in court."_ JJ said.

During the time JJ had been talking Emily had come back around to face her having finished rubbing the balm in to her back.

Emily had watched as JJ's eyes seemed to almost gloss over, a faraway look on her face while re-telling this part of her childhood.

Emily felt sick to her stomach hearing the things that Michael had done to her.

She had heard the hope in JJ's voice when she spoke of Michael treating her the same way he had Ros.

She heard the fear in JJ's voice when she spoke about the way that Michael had looked at her.

Gently Emily reached up while kneeling in front of JJ and cupped her face in her hands leaning in to softly kiss her girlfriend, hoping to bring her back to the present in this action.

Pulling away she watched closely as the faraway look left JJ's eyes.

JJ met her gaze, her eyes filling with tears as she looked at Emily almost pleadingly before falling into her, dropping from the close toilet seat into her girlfriend's strong arms.

Emily caught her, wobbling slightly from the sudden force before allowing herself to drop to the ground sitting on the floor with JJ in her lap.

JJ didn't make a sound, nor did she let her tears fall, she was just clinging to Emily needing to feel the safety of having her close.

Emily didn't say anything either, in truth she had no idea what to say, she just held JJ close, her hands rubbing along JJ's bare back gently.

After some time JJ lifted her head from Emily's neck and looked at her nervously watching her closely as Emily lifted one hand from her back and stroked her cheek resting their foreheads together.

" _I can't even begin to imagine some of the things you have gone through and I know it must be terrifying having to think about them let alone talk about them like you just did, but I am so glad that you feel safe enough with me to do so. Thank you for telling me."_ Emily said her voice thick with emotion before placing a gentle slow kiss to JJ's lips.

Pulling back she stayed in the same position, her hand softly stroking JJ's cheek while they gazed into each other's eyes, their foreheads still touching.

" _I will not let that happen to you again, none of it. That monster will_ _ **never**_ _touch you again, ever."_ Emily promised, emphasising the _'never'_.

* * *

 **AN:** This last part was hard to write, I spent a long time revisiting it hoping I had done it justice. Reviews please, let me know what you thought.


	27. Chapter Twenty-Seven: The Decision

Hey guys, I'm so sorry this is up late I had meant to post this chapter last night and was about to, then bam! Computer decided to go to tech heaven. Thankfully I had saved most of my work to a hard drive (go me for actually thinking ahead!").

All chapters blocked out so far for this story were saved and some other story blocks too, the only things I didn't save for some reason were some of the one shots I needed to polish, one of which is the next one going up, but hopefully it wont take me too long to re-write that one, so those of you who read the one shots don't panic I will update soon.

Thank you all so much for your reviews on the last chapter and for all reviews I have received for this story I am always glad of the feedback and I am really glad you are enjoying the story, even with the more tense topics it holds at times.

 **MyCriminaIMind:** Glad you enjoyed, hope you enjoy this next one, let me know what you think.

 **guiltypleasure95:** Glad you enjoyed the lighter moment, I felt it was really needed for what the team has been through. Its been a long time coming for JJ, she needs to open up more to someone and Emily is the perfect person for her to do so with. Hope you enjoy this next one, let me know what you think.

 **Elphiemolizbethbau:** Thank you so much, you are right JJ is very brave, you will see how much so in this next chapter, with Emily by her side she will be okay, Emily is very supportive just what JJ needs. Glad you enjoyed, let me know what you think of this next one.

 **Kensi1997:** thank you for your review, the Jemily relationship is the backbone to this story as well as JJ's recovery I'm glad its shinning through in these chapters how it should. Hope you enjoy what's to come, let me know what you think.

 **starie78:** Thank you for your review, I'm glad you enjoyed. I really liked Strauss in her later seasons of the show and wanted her to be more that way in this story, she does care, she just has a hard time showing it sometimes. Hope you enjoy what's next, let me know what you think.

 **Letirreis:** Thank you for your review, glad you are enjoying. Yes it does seem to be rather quick don't you think? Hope you enjoy whats to come, let me know what you think.

 **:** Thank you for your review and for reading my story, I think it was long needed to JJ to open up more. As for the hearing, well keep reading. Let me know what you think.

 **MochaGirl14:** Thank you for your review, I'm sorry that the topic was hard to read, I hope it was handled in a sensitive way and didn't cause you any upset. You are right for JJ to remember these things it is traumatising and frightening, as for the hearing and stopping Michael from being released, JJ is a fighter, she will find her strength to see it through to the best of her ability. Let me know what you think of this next update.

 **Thalie57:** Thank you for your review and PM's, I am glad you enjoy the Jemily scenes, they are like the lifeline and backbone of the story. Thank you for your comments on my writing of these sensitives issues, I am glad they are coming across with the respect and sensitivity they deserve. Hope you like this next one, let me know.

 **tippytypewritter137:** Thank you for you review, I'm glad you are enjoying the story. What did you make of the rest from where you had been before hand? I would love to hear more of your thoughts on the story, hope you enjoy whats next, let me know what you think.

 **AN:** Right guys on with the chapter, this one sees us with our road trip gang, lots of Jemily in this one, as well as some interest JJ and Reid conversations, enjoy!

 **WARNINGS: Mentions of violence, torture and child abuse.**

* * *

 **Chapter Twenty-Seven: The Decision.**

Bang.

Something fell to the floor and smashed sending an echo of sound around the family hotel suit Morgan, Reid, Garcia, Emily and JJ were sharing.

The noise was loud and sudden.

It was unexpected.

To JJ who had just been slowly coming to from a deep sleep it was terrifying.

It caused her body to stiffen, her heart to beat faster, a gasp to escape her throat, and for her grip on the Emily shaped pillow she was using to sleep on to tighten instinctively.

Talking could be heard outside of the bedroom JJ and Emily had been asleep in, it sounded like Morgan and Reid, this helped to calm JJ's nerves somewhat, knowing that she wasn't in any immediate danger.

Another loud bang resonated through the suit causing JJ hide her face in the crook of Emily's neck inhaling her girlfriends sweet distinctive sent.

Emily was her safety.

When scared JJ wanted nothing more than to surround herself in all things Emily.

Her smell, her clothes, her in general.

Even though the noise and movement did not wake Emily from her sleep, she must have sensed JJ's fear and discomfort causing her to unconsciously tighten her arm that was wrapped around JJ.

Feeling Emily pulling her in close towards herself helped calm JJ's nerves, she began to breath in and out deeply trying to calm her breathing while still hiding her face in her girlfriends neck.

It was only when she had managed to calm her thumping heart down that she realised where Emily's hand was, it reminded her of a conversation she and Garcia had once before she had begun to date Emily.

Smiling to herself she knew now for sure that Garcia had been right in her assumption of the time, Emily was defiantly an 'ass girl' as Garcia had put it.

She knew this because right now, not unlike many other times she had woken up in the brunette's arms, Emily had her one hand across JJ's butt cheeks.

Usually anybody touching her in this way would make JJ extremely nervous, it would make her wonder what they wanted from her and why.

It would make her wonder what she had done wrong, and how badly they were going to hurt her.

Touches like this were associated with pain in JJ's world, usually.

The one exception was Emily.

With Emily touches like this, even if they were unconscious touches like now, were beginning to mean safety and security.

They were tender and loving, not frightening and painful.

Lifting her head from her girlfriends neck JJ's smile deepened at the peaceful look on Emily's face as she slept.

Her girlfriend was beautiful, breathtakingly so, but while she slept she was almost enchanting.

Emily looked year's younger when asleep, all the small lines that worry brought about throughout the day were completely gone, her expression was unguarded, her shield was completely down.

JJ loved being able to see this side of her girlfriend, the unguarded side that Emily shared with her on a daily basis, the side of herself she was working hard on trying to share as well.

Slowly JJ lifted her hand from its resting place across Emily's stomach and began to lightly trace her girlfriends face with her finger tips.

JJ watched in fascination at the way Emily's nose would twitch when her finger tips touched the ticklish spot under her chin, and the way her eyes moved under her eyelids when JJ's fingers ghosted gently over her lips.

Leaning up JJ was about to give Emily a wake up kiss when there was a sudden much louder bang that sounded like someone slamming a door followed by Morgan's loud shouting which caused JJ to yelp in surprise her whole body jumping and coming to land on top of Emily, her face finding its usual hiding place in the crook of Emily's neck as she began to whimper in fear.

In the back of her mind she knew she was overreacting.

She knew that Morgan and Reid were probably just arguing over something stupid and that nothing bad would happen, but right now with everything that was going on her mind was stuck on her time spent with Michael.

With Michael shouting was always bad, shouting with Michael resulted in being locked in, in beatings and in pain.

She could feel Emily moving beneath her and knew that she was now awake.

Whether that was from the noise the boys were making or from the fact she literally just jumped on top of her she didn't know, nor did she really care right now, fear was clouding her mind the longer the shouting went on.

She could feel Emily's hand rubbing up and down her back trying to calm her and ground her mind as the shouting and banging on a door continued making her whimper more her mind taking her back to her childhood.

" _Emily."_ JJ begged, trying to stop her mind from completely flashing back.

" _I'm here, I've got you, it's okay. Listen to my voice baby, block the other noises out and concentrate on me. No one's going to hurt you, you are completely safe here."_ Emily instructed into JJ's ear while she gently cradled her in her arms and pulled herself up right into a sitting position with JJ sat on her lap.

She had been shocked at first by the sudden weight on top of her when JJ had jumped on her, but when her mind caught up and she heard the shouting and banging she realised what had happened.

" _Emily!"_ JJ cried louder, tightening her grip on her girlfriend as she heard Reid yelling at Morgan to leave him alone

The yelling reminded her of the caves, when herself and Reid would yell at their captors to stop, and to leave them alone, just like Reid was doing now.

" _It's okay, you're okay, hey. Stay with me Jay, I've got you, I won't let anything happen to you."_ Emily said as she felt the blonde begin to tremble in her arms the fear now fully setting in.

" _He's going to hurt me."_ JJ whimpered trying to burry herself further into Emily, her mind was flooding with memories all moulding into one.

She could see herself in the caves one moment, then the next she was back in that cabin in the woods.

She could see him.

He was out and he was going to hurt her again.

Hearing JJ say 'he' made Emily sure of one thing, JJ's mind was not completely in the room with her right now, she was trapped in a memory.

Even though it was the noise that was scaring JJ at the moment, it wasn't the focus of her fear.

That was Michael.

JJ hadn't really spoken about Michael much at all after they left the bathroom last night.

She had said very little when Morgan had delivered the news on the date of the parole hearing.

Emily knew that her girlfriend needed time to process the information so hadn't pushed her to talk about it, but now with the information they have received last night and everything else that was going on around them right now, her head was in overdrive.

" _He's not here, it's just me. Just Emily. No one's going to hurt you baby, I promise you."_ Emily assured her, tightening her arms around her girlfriend as she begun to rock her from side to side.

Emily felt herself getting angry, she could hear Morgan still yelling telling Reid to open the door and Reid yelling back telling him to leave him alone.

She was wondering what had happened to cause this, she was wondering how Morgan felt it was a good idea to be behaving the way he was right now.

Reid she could understand the yelling from, he like JJ was still recovering, his emotions were all over the place, and at times that caused his mood to swing at the smallest of things.

Morgan though, he had no excuse.

He should know better.

" _No, no, make it stop, please make it stop."_ JJ begged, wanting the noise to stop, the noise that was causing her to relive moments of childhood and her times down in the cave all mixed together.

" _It's okay baby, it's okay. I'll call Garcia and she'll make them stop okay? You're gunna be okay, I'm right here, I've got you."_ Emily said as she grabbed her phone from the bedside table and speed-dialled Garcia's number.

She put the phone on the bed next to them on loudspeaker before continuing to rock JJ in her arms, one hand rubbing circles on her higher back while the other covered the blonde's one ear trying to block out the noise.

 **Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

Garcia was busily tapping away on her computer, Hotch had asked her to do some more digging into the files associated with the court case ten years ago, specifically into the charges brought and dropped against Michael Collins.

She had left the hotel suit they were sharing and took herself and her laptop to the hotel coffee bar to do this work in private, she wanted to do this without the chance of JJ seeing what she was looking into, as JJ was still as of now undecided about what she wanted to do about the parole hearing.

Garcia didn't want her friend thinking that she and the rest of the team expected her to testify, but she wanted things to be ready for if the blonde decided to do so.

Her phone ringing brought Garcia's attention away from her laptop, looking to the screen on her phone she could see that Emily was calling her.

That's strange, Garcia thought to herself.

She had only left the family suit they were all sharing twenty minutes ago, she had checked in on Emily and JJ before leaving and the two of them had been cuddled up in bed fast asleep.

" _Hey sweet-cheeks, everything okay?"_ Garcia asked into the phone having just answered it.

" _Where are you? And how fast can you get back?"_ Emily voice asked from the phone.

Garcia frowned, something was not right here.

Emily sounded stressed, she was pretty sure she could hearing shouting in the background as well as panicked murmuring and whimpering.

" _I – is everything okay?"_ Garcia asked concerned.

" _Not really. Look Reid and Morgan and arguing about something, I don't know what. It can't be good for Reid to get this worked up and frankly the noise they are making is terrifying Jayje."_ Emily's voice explained from the phone.

" _I'll be there in five."_ Garcia said before hanging up the phone and beginning to pack up her belongings, with one thought running through her mind, what the hell happened?

 **Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

Five minutes later Garcia barged through the family suit door and dumped her laptop down on a small table.

She could hearing the shouting from outside, now she was in the suit the noise was worse.

Looking into the suit she could see Morgan outside Reid's door, his hand was raised as he was knocking loudly on the door.

" _Look man, we don't have to talk if you don't want to but you can't keep yourself locked in there. Just open the door damn it!"_ Morgan yelled losing his temper again, he knew he shouldn't but Reid had locked himself in there for a long time now and he was worried.

" _You! With me now!"_ Garcia exclaimed charging up to Morgan, grabbing his raised hand and dragging him back out the door she had just came through taking them both out of the family suit and into the hallway of the hotel closing the door behind them.

" _What the hell is wrong with you?"_ Garcia asked, her face red with anger.

" _I was trying to get him to open the damn door."_ Morgan replied.

" _Till you dragged me away."_ He finished crossing his arms in front of his chest.

" _Oh, okay, because you banging on the door and yelling at him is going to make him want to come out and have a tea party with you."_ Garcia sassed.

" _Look I panicked okay? He just went and locked himself in there, I had no idea why. He started banging things around in there then wouldn't let me in, I was worried he was going to hurt himself, I still am worried he's going to do that."_ Morgan explained looking guilty.

" _You are not the only one that panicked. Emily called me. Gumdrop is terrified in there."_ Garcia said.

" _Shit."_ Morgan said his eyes wide as he looked back to the door.

Now he felt really bad, he had completely forgotten about Emily and JJ being in the suit still, his focus had been purely on Reid and getting that door open anyway possible.

" _I should go and see if they're okay."_ Morgan said moving towards the door only to be stopped by Garcia stepping in front of him blocking his path.

" _No. You go cool down for a bit, I'll sort things out here."_ Garcia said sternly.

" _Go."_ She continued pointing down the hallway.

Morgan sighed before nodding.

" _On a scale of one to ten, roughly how pissed is Prentiss?"_ Morgan asked.

" _Very."_ Garcia said tapping his chest before turning around and entering the family suit closing the door behind her.

" _Just great."_ Morgan mumbled to himself before walking down the hallway.

 **Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

An hour later Reid opened his bedroom door to poke his head out of his room, seeing the coast was clear he walked out the room stopping dead in his tracks when he noticed that Garcia was sat on the floor leaning against the wall right next to his room.

" _Hey."_ Garcia said standing.

" _Hi."_ Reid replied awkwardly.

" _Been there long?"_ He continued.

" _Since I got rid of Morgan."_ Garcia replied truthfully.

" _It was pretty loud in here before I got rid of him."_ She continued pointedly.

" _Yeah, Sorry about that. He wouldn't leave me alone."_ Reid replied walking past Garcia towards the lounge area.

" _He said he was worried about you. He said you locked yourself in your room and starting banging things, that you wouldn't let him."_ Garcia said as she followed him to the lounge area, the two of them taking a seat on the couch.

" _Are you okay?"_ Garcia asked after a moment of awkward silence, turning her whole body to look at Reid who would not look back at her.

" _I'm fine…look, I don't want to talk about it."_ Reid replied.

" _To me or in general?"_ Garcia asked, she wouldn't admit this but she was a bit hurt with how closed off Reid had been with her lately, not that she could blame him with everything he had been through.

Reid didn't respond verbally he only shrugged his shoulders in response, the one shoulder that was still healing didn't move has high as his other one.

" _It's okay if you don't want to talk to me, but you need to talk to someone."_ Garcia said, she wasn't a profiler, but even she could see that something was going on with her friend.

Reid had been getting better both physically and mentally, but he was still keeping everybody at arms-length, he wasn't talking to anybody, not properly.

He would only talk about things when he really had no choice, when he had the option to hide away and not deal with everything that had happened he took it.

The only problem was by not dealing with it if left his emotions all over the place and right he was feeling a lot of anger.

Anger and shame.

" _Is Jayje okay?"_ Reid asked suddenly.

" _When Morgan left and it went quiet I could hear her crying. I didn't mean to frighten her."_ He continued with his head down.

" _I'm sure she knows that. She's with Emily, why don't you go and spend some time with them while I make us all some breakfast? I don't think they have eaten yet, and unless you have a hidden buffet in that room I don't think you have either."_ Garcia said standing from the couch.

" _It's almost noon."_ Reid pointed out after eyeing a clock on the wall.

" _Brunch then?"_ Garcia asked, receiving a nod in response.

Walking over to the kitchen to prepare the brunch Garcia stopped for a moment to watch as Reid got up from the couch and made his way over to the bedroom that Emily and JJ share.

The door was already open, but being polite as always Reid knocked softly and only entered after hearing a quiet _'come in'_ from the other side.

Walking in the room Reid closed the door ajar before turning and facing his two friends on the bed.

JJ was still sat in Emily's lap her face hiding in the crook of Emily's neck.

Her one arm was around the back of Emily's neck while the other was up against her own chest as she snuggled into Emily, holding her pyjama top tightly in her hand.

Emily had her one arm wrapped securely around JJ's waist while her other hand was stroking up and down the length of JJ's back softly.

Looking at them Reid felt bad, he really didn't mean to frighten JJ.

He knew she would try and tell him that he didn't, but he could tell she had been and still was a bit scared of what had happened earlier.

" _Hey."_ Emily said quietly, breaking the silence that had fallen upon them.

" _Hi."_ Reid replied shuffling from one foot to the other under Emily's gaze, he wasn't sure whether she was angry with him or not, right now her facial expressions gave nothing away.

" _I'm sorry."_ Reid blurted out quickly.

" _About before."_ He continued.

" _With all the yelling and, stuff."_ He finished.

"I'll admit it wasn't the best wakeup call we've had, hey Jay?" Emily joked with a smile, as she gently patted JJ's back before shrugging her one shoulder to help lift JJ's head from its hiding place in her neck.

JJ moved, reluctantly so, and turned slightly to face Reid while still being in the safety of Emily's arms.

" _Are you okay Spence? You look as though you have been crying"_ JJ stating after looking at her friend for a moment.

" _So do you."_ Reid responded after looking up to meet JJ eyes, while Emily watched the interaction quietly, her hands coming to rest on JJ's sides, still present but not obstructing.

" _I got scared."_ JJ said to answer why she had been crying.

" _Me too."_ Reid said quietly.

" _I'm sorry if I – we – me and Morgan, scared you."_ He continued looking guilty as he took a step closer towards the bed.

JJ smiled in response, letting him know it was okay.

" _The noise scared me, but it wasn't you and Morgan that I was frightened of."_ JJ said truthfully.

Reid nodded in response as he continued to walk over to the bed.

Reaching the side of the bed he sat down at the bottom of it looking to JJ to check that was okay.

When he received another small smile in response he looked down to his lap and began to wring his hands together.

Emily sensing he wanted to talk to JJ alone wrapped her arms around her girlfriend for a moment, placing a gentle kiss to the back of her head before standing causing JJ to look at her confused.

" _I'm gunna go get ready, I'll just be in the bathroom if you need me."_ Emily told JJ, lifting a hand to stroke her cheek tenderly, waiting till she received a nod in response letting her know it was okay to leave them alone for a while.

" _Okay, I'll be back soon."_ Emily said bending down to kiss JJ on the lips before walking towards the bathroom, pausing briefly by Reid to jokingly ruffle his hair earning a small laugh and swat to the arm in the process.

The room was silent for a moment as the two youngest agents watched Emily disappear behind the bathroom door, closing it to but not locking it.

" _Are you sure you're okay?"_ JJ asked turning her attention back to Reid.

She felt bad, he had been through so much and she hadn't really been there for him like she wanted to be because she was still dealing with the aftermath of all that had happened herself.

" _I should be asking you that, you're the one that just had a panic attack."_ Reid replied, he was annoyed with himself for the way he had reacted earlier, he was annoyed with himself for causing his friend more distress.

JJ shrugged in response looking down to her lap, before looking back up into Reid's eyes.

" _So did you."_ JJ stated.

" _Fear isn't the only form a panic attack takes, anger can be a form of panic too."_ She continued still looking into Reid's eyes.

" _It can be. I don't know why I get so angry."_ Reid responded.

" _And that only makes me angrier."_ He admitted as an afterthought.

" _You get angry for the same reason I get scared. Things overwhelm you and you don't know how to deal with them. I get scared because of the memories my mind gets flooded with. You get angry because you can't explain why it happens. You told me once you prefer to think with logic and facts. There are no logic and facts for some of the things we feel and fear and that makes you angry. You get angry because you can explain why it happens."_ JJ said, looking nervously at Reid who seemed shocked by what she had said.

" _Wow."_ Reid said surprised, while moving a greasy piece of hair behind his ear.

" _Have you ever thought of taking the profiler exam? You would make a good profiler."_ He continued with a smile, causing JJ to laugh.

" _Emily tells me that all the time."_ JJ replied.

" _Well maybe you should listen to her."_ Reid suggested, shrugging.

" _I like being the media liaison. I like helping people."_ JJ said thoughtfully.

" _What made you angry before?"_ She asked suddenly after a silence watching as Reid let out a large sigh, bringing his legs up on the bed to sit cross-legged facing her.

" _I, tried, to have a shower…I couldn't do it...as soon as I turned on the shower and I heard the water, it was like I was back there again."_ Reid said ashamed.

" _It made me angry, I feel dirty and I can't even clean myself."_ He continued playing with another greasy piece of hair before pushing it away in shaking his head.

" _I still can't yet either…not properly."_ JJ told him quietly before getting up from the bed and crossing the room to where her go bag was on the back of a chair.

Quickly JJ grabbed her go bag and brought it over to the bed, placing it and herself back down on the bed carefully, before opening the bag and rummaging through it.

JJ pulled some items out of the bag and then passed them over to Reid who looked at the items one by one carefully.

He saw that JJ had pulled out a can of dry shampoo, body foam mist that was scented and a pack of extra moisture wipes.

" _Emily got them for me, you should use them too. It's not the same as showering…but it will stop you feeling so…dirty. It's less scary using this stuff and you feel…cleaner."_ JJ said quietly.

" _I'll give them a try…anything has to be better than a damp cloth… Thanks Jayje."_ Reid said smiling, his smile looked more genuine.

" _I know it doesn't seem so now, and everybody keeps telling us this which makes you not fully believe them…but it – this – will get better eventually. You won't always feel so disconnected from everybody and everything around you. It takes a long time…it did when I was younger…but I did it once. I can do it again, so can you."_ JJ said sounding more confident than she felt right now.

A knock at the door made JJ jump slightly and Reid turn to see Garcia stood with a spatula in one hand.

" _You guys hungry?"_ Garcia asked with a smile.

" _Yeah, but I might go and try to freshen up first."_ Reid said as he stood from the bed, smiling at JJ before walking out the room moving around Garcia to do so with the cans and wipes in his hands.

" _Gumdrop?"_ Garcia asked, having yet to hear a response from the blonde.

" _I – what about Emily?"_ JJ asked, she still didn't want and like to go anywhere without Emily at the moment.

" _We'll just be out here, she'll come find us when she is ready."_ Garcia assured her waiting patiently as JJ slowly rose from the bed, grabbing a black jumper that belonged to Emily as she passed by a chair and made her way over to Garcia who was still stood in the door way.

Garcia wrapped her arm around JJ's shoulders loosely when JJ met her at the door, she couldn't help but feel a little bit hurt at the way JJ tensed up at first from the touch before relaxing under her arm.

Garcia knew it wasn't JJ's fault the way her body and mind reacted at the moment, but she really missed her friend, both her friends.

As they walked out of the room and into the lounge adjoining kitchen area of the suit JJ noticed that Morgan had returned now and was sat on a stool in front of the kitchen island table reading a newspaper.

JJ smiled to him, before walking up to the table and carefully slipping onto the stool opposite him.

JJ stretched slightly while putting the black jumper of Emily's on that she had carried out from the bedroom they shared.

" _Sorry about before."_ Morgan said sheepishly placing his newspaper down on the table.

" _It's okay."_ JJ said quietly.

" _I think that had been brewing from last night."_ She continued honestly, speaking about her panic attack.

" _How are you feeling about what we spoke about, I don't mean to rush you or anything, but we need to know where we are going, from here I mean."_ Morgan said while Garcia came around the kitchen area with plates full of sandwiches and fries.

Garcia placed the plates down on the table before taking a seat on the stool that was at the head of table planting herself by both Morgan and JJ who were sat at opposite sides of the table.

" _I don't…I'm not sure."_ JJ stuttered nervously her arms wrapping around herself with her head down, just talking about it made her nervous, it made her want Emily.

Right now she would have to make do with Emily's jumper, which did smell like her, it was a smell that comforted her.

" _That's okay, we have time. We are staying here till tomorrow, which should give you some more time to think about it, okay?"_ Garcia said trying to ease JJ's mind, she could see her friend becoming tense and nervous next to her.

The last thing any of them wanted was for another panic attack to happen, especially when Emily was not in the room to help calm the situation down if that did happen.

" _Time to think about what?"_ Emily said from the doorway to her and JJ's bedroom.

She had just finished getting dressed after showering and preparing herself for the day and had heard the end part of Garcia's input to the conversation.

" _We were talking about what Jayje wants to do, about the parole hearing."_ Morgan informed Emily who had walked up to the table to stand beside JJ.

Emily greeted her girlfriend with a kiss on the cheek and a stroke of her back, not liking the tension she could feel there, before taking a seat next to her on a stool.

" _Garcia's right, there's still time before we move on, how about we talk about this later?"_ Emily said sending a stern look in Morgan's direction before pulling one of the sandwich and fry plates forwards to rest in front of herself and JJ.

She picked up one sandwich passing it to JJ who took it from her passing it to her other hand so she could hold Emily's hand on top of the table wanting the physical contact.

Emily used her other hand to pick up another sandwich for herself and brought it up to her mouth to take a small bite, watching out of the corner of her eye as JJ did the same after her.

" _Of course, we can talk about this later. It's just – Hotch wants to know what we are doing as soon as possible."_ Morgan told them, wanting them to know why he had brought it up.

 _If, I go…what would I need to do. To keep him from getting out."_ JJ asked quietly after finishing eating her sandwich, surprising the others in the room.

They had expected her to take the out Emily had given her, they thought that she would probably talk to Emily in private later and decide then.

" _There's no guarantee that he will be released on parole regardless of what you decide Gumdrop."_ Garcia said, trying to remind JJ that this was not set in stone.

" _But, if new charges were made we could completely stop the hearing in its tracks and add a longer sentence of gaol time. Hotch thinks this would be our best course of action."_ Morgan said.

They had told JJ all this last night, but he didn't mind going through it again, in truth he wasn't sure whether she had taken everything in last night.

" _The charges he wants to try and use are the ones from ten years ago?"_ JJ asked remembering parts of the conversation that they had.

" _Yes he thinks if we can find the evidence that was missing before that Collins will be prosecuted and fully sentenced this time."_ Morgan said confirmed the charges they were talking about.

" _Michael."_ JJ said.

" _His name is Michael"_ JJ said after seeing the confused look from Morgan.

" _He – he isn't one of the unsubs we chase down. His name isn't one for our files, not everybody with that name is like him. Rosy wasn't like him, my Mom wasn't like him."_ She continued looking upset.

The room was silent for a moment.

Garcia looked shocked, Morgan looked mortified, while Emily looked impressed at what JJ had just said.

It was a small part of the old the JJ coming through.

" _I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you, or insult your family in anyway."_ Morgan replied seriously.

JJ nodded in response, excepting his apology.

JJ was and always would be very protective of her big sister Rosaline and her Mother, both of them held the Collins name, and she didn't want to associate the name with something bad when not everything about it was bad.

" _The police couldn't find any evidence back then to support the charges, what will be different this time?"_ JJ stated before asking how they were going to get the evidence they needed to prosecute.

" _Well, hopefully. You."_ Morgan said looking straight into JJ's eyes.

" _I didn't remember anything, I didn't know anything about it. I don't."_ JJ insisted looking away from Morgan's gaze, her hand unconsciously squeezing Emily's a little bit tighter.

" _I think you do, so does Hotch."_ Morgan challenged.

" _Morgan – "_ Emily said in a warning tone.

" _Look I'm not trying to upset you, but you wanted to know what you would need to do. This is something we would need to do, something we need to talk about. We need to see how much you do remember. Gideon thinks that if you are open to the suggestion, Prentiss and I should do a cognitive interview with you, to see what you do remember from when you were fourteen. We need to see if you have blocked anything out because it scares you. The way you react shows you do, if not fully, at least partially remember something, but it's something you don't want to remember. For this to work you will need to try and remember it because it could give us the evidence we need."_ Morgan explained cutting Emily off, there was no way to sugar coat this, JJ would have to try and remember some things she may not want to for this to work.

The room was silent again as JJ took in what Morgan had just said, they were all waiting for her response.

Morgan was watching JJ, his gaze never shifting.

Garcia was pushing a fry around her plate pretending to be concentrating on that rather than waiting for JJ's answer.

Emily was watching JJ while her thumb stroked the hand she was holding softly.

" _Okay."_ JJ said after a long pause, exhaling air from her lungs loudly afterwards.

" _Okay?"_ Morgan asked, he wasn't sure what JJ was saying _'okay'_ to, _'okay'_ she understood or _'okay'_ she would try.

" _I'll try."_ JJ clarified.

" _But I can't promise anything."_ She continued unsure.

" _No one expects you to, if you want to do this we will try and see where it goes, okay?"_ Emily assured JJ, gently squeezing her hand as she spoke.

" _Okay."_ JJ responded turning to look at Emily.

" _I just – I don't want to be scared anymore."_ She continued staring into Emily's eyes.

" _I know, we'll get through this together. It's okay to be scared Jay, but we will do everything we can to make sure you don't have to feel that way anymore."_ Emily lifting her free hand to stroke JJ's cheek softly.

" _So, road trip to Pennsylvania anyone?"_ Garcia asked in her usual bubbly tone causing JJ and Emily to burst out laughing shaking their heads at their friend's antics.

" _I'll let Hotch know. Baby girl, if, you can contain your excitement for a moment maybe you find us the best route to take tomorrow and some accommodation for when we get there."_ Morgan said grinning while standing from the table and taking his mobile phone out of his pocket sending a wink Emily and JJ's way before walking down the hallway to the make the phone call.

" _Oh, I'm on it like a car bonnet!"_ Garcia called after him also standing from the table.

" _I did not just say that. That has been wiped from the records. Completed wiped, as in poof! Gone!"_ Garcia muttered while retrieving her laptop.

" _What?"_ She asked when she returned to the table and noticed both JJ and Emily watching her highly amused.

" _Pretty sure you can't make that poof."_ Emily said.

" _I am the queen of poof!"_ Garcia insisted.

" _Oh, this keeps getting better and better."_ Emily replied with a chuckle as JJ giggled next to her at the look on Garcia's face.

" _Oh, just shush you two."_ Garcia said walking away into the lounge area with her laptop and plonking herself down on one of the sofas.

" _Feel free to come help me anytime, and Gumdrop make sure you finish your food."_ Garcia said from the lounge area.

" _The bonnet poofer is right baby, come on."_ Emily said kissing JJ's lips quickly before standing and picking up the plate in one hand.

Emily took JJ's hand in her free hand and helped her girlfriend to stand before leading her to the lounge area and sitting down on the sofa placing JJ in the middle between herself and Garcia.

JJ picked another sandwich up off of the plate that was now sat on Emily's lap and leaned back slightly against Emily as she began to eat, letting out a contented sigh as she felt Emily's arm wrap around her stomach gently.

Picking her legs up to sit underneath her body JJ repositioned herself so she was facing Garcia who was showing her hotels on her laptop, while still being pressed up against Emily.

She was still afraid.

She was afraid of seeing Michael, afraid of what she may remember, afraid of the whole process.

However part of her was also relieved.

She had made a decision, she was going to do everything she could to stop him from getting out, to stop him from hurting her any longer.

She had Emily behind her, literally and hypothetically.

She had the team too.

Just like she had told Reid earlier – she had done this before and she can and will do it again.

* * *

 **AN:** Reviews please, let me know what you all think.


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